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Well, this is getting wierd.... I just got a phone call from a friend who has been fighting with me. Yet another out burst from him.
Here is some background: http://www.prince.org/msg/100/64585 http://www.prince.org/msg/100/64707 I am sick of this, how do I tell him that he cannot continue this behavior? [This message was edited Fri Oct 10 12:48:53 PDT 2003 by slm4m] | |
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Do you reckon he could be having some kind of breakdown? | |
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I'd suggest sitting down with a 3rd party who has influence with your friend and figuring things out, if you're at all open to the idea of it.
Otherwise, I recommend a no-contact/restraining order. [This message was edited Fri Oct 10 12:45:24 PDT 2003 by AnotherLoverToo] | |
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Cloudbuster said: Do you reckon he could be having some kind of breakdown?
Yes I'm thinking that way... things seem to be heading toward a dangerous area... he won't listen to anyone... it is like he just looks to confront me and then he just swears at me. | |
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You could have a word with his wife to see if she could encourage him to see his doctor. | |
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AnotherLoverToo said: I'd suggest sitting down with a 3rd party who has influence with your friend and figuring things out, if you're at all open to the idea of it.
Otherwise, I recommend a no-contact/restraining order. [This message was edited Fri Oct 10 12:45:24 PDT 2003 by AnotherLoverToo] He won't listen to a 3rd party, Restraining order, been there done that, don't work. | |
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slm4m said: AnotherLoverToo said: I'd suggest sitting down with a 3rd party who has influence with your friend and figuring things out, if you're at all open to the idea of it.
Otherwise, I recommend a no-contact/restraining order. [This message was edited Fri Oct 10 12:45:24 PDT 2003 by AnotherLoverToo] He won't listen to a 3rd party, Restraining order, been there done that, don't work. So there is history with this person, then? You need to call the police when he breaks the restraining order, to make it work  (I'm assuming you didn't) Perhaps if he went to jail, he'd be forced to get the mental health care he needs. | |
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Cloudbuster said: You could have a word with his wife to see if she could encourage him to see his doctor.
Thanks Cloudbuster... I will have a word with his wife and if she is not mad at him, I will try to talk with her about the situation. | |
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Have you talked to his wife at all. I mean really talk to her? 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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slm4m said: Cloudbuster said: You could have a word with his wife to see if she could encourage him to see his doctor.
Thanks Cloudbuster... I will have a word with his wife and if she is not mad at him, I will try to talk with her about the situation. Good luck. | |
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AnotherLoverToo said: slm4m said: AnotherLoverToo said: I'd suggest sitting down with a 3rd party who has influence with your friend and figuring things out, if you're at all open to the idea of it.
Otherwise, I recommend a no-contact/restraining order. [This message was edited Fri Oct 10 12:45:24 PDT 2003 by AnotherLoverToo] He won't listen to a 3rd party, Restraining order, been there done that, don't work. So there is history with this person, then? You need to call the police when he breaks the restraining order, to make it work (I'm assuming you didn't) Perhaps if he went to jail, he'd be forced to get the mental health care he needs.I have a restraining order on another person from my past. No restraining order on this person. If he does not stop soon I will be forced to deal with the police. | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: Have you talked to his wife at all. I mean really talk to her?
Yes, the evening the intial incident occurred. He saw us talking and started screaming "cuss" words at us. It was very embarrassing. | |
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Just go over there and kick his ass... | |
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logger said: Just go over there and kick his ass...
I wish I could... but I would be sinking to his level. | |
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He sounds like a right muppet...
Has he lost touch with reality?Is he going to work?Is his wife still with him?Let him off.He'll come round to his senses someday or else he'll end up in a straight jacket. | |
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ummm...it's time to change your friends...
 The Prince.org Photo Album http://www.purplehouse.nl...ery/Jacqui | |
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Vashti said: ummm...it's time to change your friends...
Yeah.. considering my lack of sleep ovver this -- I just wouldn't want him to treat others like that. | |
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logger said: He sounds like a right muppet...
Has he lost touch with reality?Is he going to work?Is his wife still with him?Let him off.He'll come round to his senses someday or else he'll end up in a straight jacket. I think so.. work.. no doesn't work yes she is. | |
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it really sounds like he might suffer from some mental disorder - bipolar or something along those lines. very sad to watch and very difficult to deal with.
i agree with the others who said to talk to his wife (again), and if you value him and his friendship, you may need to make some difficult decisions on how to help him. it's hard to go through, but it's important for us to take care of each other, especially when we deal with disease. | |
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irresistibleb1tch said: it really sounds like he might suffer from some mental disorder - bipolar or something along those lines. very sad to watch and very difficult to deal with.
i agree with the others who said to talk to his wife (again), and if you value him and his friendship, you may need to make some difficult decisions on how to help him. it's hard to go through, but it's important for us to take care of each other, especially when we deal with disease. Yes it is very sad. He has been so harsh that I can be his friend no longer. I will try to talk to his wife again -- then after the help is given to him -- the friend ship is over. I wish no further contact with him. No one should treat anyone the way he has. Mental illness or not. | |
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slm4m said: irresistibleb1tch said: it really sounds like he might suffer from some mental disorder - bipolar or something along those lines. very sad to watch and very difficult to deal with.
i agree with the others who said to talk to his wife (again), and if you value him and his friendship, you may need to make some difficult decisions on how to help him. it's hard to go through, but it's important for us to take care of each other, especially when we deal with disease. Yes it is very sad. He has been so harsh that I can be his friend no longer. I will try to talk to his wife again -- then after the help is given to him -- the friend ship is over. I wish no further contact with him. No one should treat anyone the way he has. Mental illness or not. i know you're upset, but i hope you will reconsider. your friendship may never be the same, granted, but i shudder at the thought that, were i to be diagnosed with a mental illness, all of my friends might turn their backs. if your friend is really sick, he needs your help more than ever. | |
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irresistibleb1tch said: slm4m said: irresistibleb1tch said: it really sounds like he might suffer from some mental disorder - bipolar or something along those lines. very sad to watch and very difficult to deal with.
i agree with the others who said to talk to his wife (again), and if you value him and his friendship, you may need to make some difficult decisions on how to help him. it's hard to go through, but it's important for us to take care of each other, especially when we deal with disease. Yes it is very sad. He has been so harsh that I can be his friend no longer. I will try to talk to his wife again -- then after the help is given to him -- the friend ship is over. I wish no further contact with him. No one should treat anyone the way he has. Mental illness or not. i know you're upset, but i hope you will reconsider. your friendship may never be the same, granted, but i shudder at the thought that, were i to be diagnosed with a mental illness, all of my friends might turn their backs. if your friend is really sick, he needs your help more than ever. yeah good point. | |
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irresistibleb1tch said: slm4m said: irresistibleb1tch said: it really sounds like he might suffer from some mental disorder - bipolar or something along those lines. very sad to watch and very difficult to deal with.
i agree with the others who said to talk to his wife (again), and if you value him and his friendship, you may need to make some difficult decisions on how to help him. it's hard to go through, but it's important for us to take care of each other, especially when we deal with disease. Yes it is very sad. He has been so harsh that I can be his friend no longer. I will try to talk to his wife again -- then after the help is given to him -- the friend ship is over. I wish no further contact with him. No one should treat anyone the way he has. Mental illness or not. ...were i to be diagnosed with a mental illness... What do you mean "IF you were"? You're mos def mental, girl! 
(Sorry, slm4m, no disrespect meant, I couldn't resist  ) | |
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AnotherLoverToo said: irresistibleb1tch said: slm4m said: irresistibleb1tch said: it really sounds like he might suffer from some mental disorder - bipolar or something along those lines. very sad to watch and very difficult to deal with.
i agree with the others who said to talk to his wife (again), and if you value him and his friendship, you may need to make some difficult decisions on how to help him. it's hard to go through, but it's important for us to take care of each other, especially when we deal with disease. Yes it is very sad. He has been so harsh that I can be his friend no longer. I will try to talk to his wife again -- then after the help is given to him -- the friend ship is over. I wish no further contact with him. No one should treat anyone the way he has. Mental illness or not. ...were i to be diagnosed with a mental illness... What do you mean "IF you were"? You're mos def mental, girl!
(Sorry, slm4m, no disrespect meant, I couldn't resist ) u promised u wouldn't tell!  | |
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If the person truly is imbalanced, the first thing you have to do is separate what the illness is saying from the person who's saying it. You can't take what he's saying too much to heart, even though you are very much correct in taking all available steps to protect yourself from his rages.
The second thing to do is, if you are in contact with other people who know this man, is to talk with them about his behavior and discuss how it can be dealt with - if you want to find help for him, or if you even just want to create a support network so you have someone who is "in the know" the next time you absorb one of his outbursts. Another thing I would do is not let this guy's diatribes go on too long. Either try to de-escalate the situation with non-confrontational language, or else very calmly say "I can't talk to you when you're this upset. You're not supposed to be calling here. I'm going to have to go now." Have people around who know about the situation, and don't take his outbursts to heart, and you're off to a good start. | |
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slm4m said: irresistibleb1tch said: it really sounds like he might suffer from some mental disorder - bipolar or something along those lines. very sad to watch and very difficult to deal with.
i agree with the others who said to talk to his wife (again), and if you value him and his friendship, you may need to make some difficult decisions on how to help him. it's hard to go through, but it's important for us to take care of each other, especially when we deal with disease. Yes it is very sad. He has been so harsh that I can be his friend no longer. I will try to talk to his wife again -- then after the help is given to him -- the friend ship is over. I wish no further contact with him. No one should treat anyone the way he has. Mental illness or not. wow. this reminds me of something i experienced. in fact i did a thread in here to ask about other people's Xperiences and someone turned me onto this link: http://ocd.nami.org/illness/. it helps to talk to people about this stuff. you probably already know but remember, if you decide to still be this person's friend knowing he has this handicap you can still do that while taking a step back, and protecting yourself. good luck. | |
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You both live in the same street.
But the confrontation started when you went to his house in your car  | |
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PANDURITO said: You both live in the same street.
But the confrontation started when you went to his house in your car Interesting. slm4m, you and your friend are not the same person are you? Kind of a Fight Club situation? (question mark edit) [This message was edited Fri Oct 10 16:22:05 PDT 2003 by mcmeekle] | |
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PANDURITO said: You both live in the same street.
But the confrontation started when you went to his house in your car Yes to pick him up. | |
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