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When Does Self-Esteem Become Narcissism? What do you think is the difference between someone with healthy self-esteem vs. a narcissist? | |
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when does self-esteem become narcissim?
usually after the 3000th post...  Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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First, let me clarify--this has nothing to do with any person or thread here! 
I was reading an article about this topic, and wanted to get other opinions. I think Americans, especially, have a weird "issue" with it, and that we use the term "self-esteem" to mask some forms of selfishness... | |
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i know, i know, i know you had purest of intentions. it just struck me as funny cause i was thinking the other day that i hit my rough patch in the 3000s and almost got deactivated. it made me giggle to wonder how many other orgers had gone thru a case of the terrrible 3000's Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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AnotherLoverToo said: What do you think is the difference between someone with healthy self-esteem vs. a narcissist?
i smell a new sig  | |
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cborgman said: i know, i know, i know you had purest of intentions. it just struck me as funny cause i was thinking the other day that i hit my rough patch in the 3000s and almost got deactivated. it made me giggle to wonder how many other orgers had gone thru a case of the terrrible 3000's
Yes, and now you've walked the streets of the Org flagellating yourself and pulling your hair out in mourning for your "bad" behaviors. So you're good to go for another round!  | |
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AaronMaximus said: AnotherLoverToo said: What do you think is the difference between someone with healthy self-esteem vs. a narcissist?
i smell a new sig 
 [This message was edited Sat Sep 13 22:31:37 PDT 2003 by AnotherLoverToo] | |
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Seriously, though, I think that it's at the point where it keeps people from recognizing their own flaws, and when behavior crosses the line between self-preservation and standing up for oneself, and singular self-interest and bearing down on others. | |
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AaronMaximus said: Seriously, though, I think that it's at the point where it keeps people from recognizing their own flaws, and when behavior crosses the line between self-preservation and standing up for oneself, and singular self-interest and bearing down on others.
This article I was reading spoke of narcissists genuinely being unable to identify any flaws within themselves, as well as becoming furious in the face of any criticism. | |
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AnotherLoverToo said: cborgman said: i know, i know, i know you had purest of intentions. it just struck me as funny cause i was thinking the other day that i hit my rough patch in the 3000s and almost got deactivated. it made me giggle to wonder how many other orgers had gone thru a case of the terrrible 3000's
Yes, and now you've walked the streets of the Org flagellating yourself and pulling your hair out in mourning for your "bad" behaviors. So you're good to go for another round!  what a deliciously evil thought... perhaps "bitch chris" could use a trot around the org...Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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cborgman said: AnotherLoverToo said: cborgman said: i know, i know, i know you had purest of intentions. it just struck me as funny cause i was thinking the other day that i hit my rough patch in the 3000s and almost got deactivated. it made me giggle to wonder how many other orgers had gone thru a case of the terrrible 3000's
Yes, and now you've walked the streets of the Org flagellating yourself and pulling your hair out in mourning for your "bad" behaviors. So you're good to go for another round! what a deliciously evil thought... perhaps "bitch chris" could use a trot around the org...Well, you've certainly done enough groveling for one day! Time to camp it up!  | |
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AnotherLoverToo said: cborgman said: AnotherLoverToo said: cborgman said: i know, i know, i know you had purest of intentions. it just struck me as funny cause i was thinking the other day that i hit my rough patch in the 3000s and almost got deactivated. it made me giggle to wonder how many other orgers had gone thru a case of the terrrible 3000's
Yes, and now you've walked the streets of the Org flagellating yourself and pulling your hair out in mourning for your "bad" behaviors. So you're good to go for another round! what a deliciously evil thought... perhaps "bitch chris" could use a trot around the org...Well, you've certainly done enough groveling for one day! Time to camp it up! fuck camp... it's about time some sorry muthafuckas got their heads ripped off Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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AnotherLoverToo said: AaronMaximus said: Seriously, though, I think that it's at the point where it keeps people from recognizing their own flaws, and when behavior crosses the line between self-preservation and standing up for oneself, and singular self-interest and bearing down on others.
This article I was reading spoke of narcissists genuinely being unable to identify any flaws within themselves, as well as becoming furious in the face of any criticism. Sounds similar. I'd also add that it often becomes a defensive mechanism. Not only does it cause one to be unable to recognize their own flaws, and become enraged at criticism, they often pick out the flaws in others, constantly, because they subconsciously know those flaws exist within them and fear them. | |
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fantastic thread!  Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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You know what I think is one of the most stupid things that we do here in the U.S. with our kids? We focus so much on "self-esteem", that we're raising totally spoiled brats. We're teaching kids that "everybody's a winner" and that everyone "deserves" a prize and they "deserve" to get exactly what they want.
This is not teaching them much about real life and the world around them. | |
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AnotherLoverToo said: You know what I think is one of the most stupid things that we do here in the U.S. with our kids? We focus so much on "self-esteem", that we're raising totally spoiled brats. We're teaching kids that "everybody's a winner" and that everyone "deserves" a prize and they "deserve" to get exactly what they want.
This is not teaching them much about real life and the world around them. I agree with this. I'm all for teaching kids to have self-esteem and to stand up for themselves. But that should also include being able to take care of themselves, and realizing that life is a bitch sometimes, and you don't always get your way. The world doesn't revolve around you. You don't know how many kids/teenagers I know that have the attitude that they have a right to be happy and comfortable 24/7, and that no dark cloud shall ever befall them. Be it personal trouble, having to do something for themselves, having a job and showing up at it, having people tell them no, etc. | |
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AaronMaximus said: AnotherLoverToo said: You know what I think is one of the most stupid things that we do here in the U.S. with our kids? We focus so much on "self-esteem", that we're raising totally spoiled brats. We're teaching kids that "everybody's a winner" and that everyone "deserves" a prize and they "deserve" to get exactly what they want.
This is not teaching them much about real life and the world around them. I agree with this. I'm all for teaching kids to have self-esteem and to stand up for themselves. But that should also include being able to take care of themselves, and realizing that life is a bitch sometimes, and you don't always get your way. The world doesn't revolve around you. You don't know how many kids/teenagers I know that have the attitude that they have a right to be happy and comfortable 24/7, and that no dark cloud shall ever befall them. Be it personal trouble, having to do something for themselves, having a job and showing up at it, having people tell them no, etc. Exactly! And Lord knows, I love kids, but it is not doing them any favors to give them what they want all of the time. They'll only grow into adults who expect to be given everything (regardless of how little they put into it), and go into a narcissistic rage when they don't get it. For example, let's take sports: I think it's a great idea to encourage the spirit of the game with kids, rather than pure competition. But when you teach kids that "everybody's a winner"--that's a bunch of crap. They need to learn that sometimes there are going to be people who are more skilled and talented than they are in certain areas--but that in other areas, perhaps they will be the ones to shine. In academics, kids with good grades are going to get the scholarships and go to the good schools. It's important that kids learn that hard work/talent--whether academically or athletically or muscially--has its rewards. | |
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It hits narcissim when you become like me  [This message was edited Sat Sep 13 22:40:29 PDT 2003 by MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld] | |
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I very much believe that self-esteem can NOT be taught by someone else. I believe it's something a person develops via learning what they are good at and what they love, with family and loved ones supporting them.
Otherwise, it can turn into something insecure and ugly and narcissistic... [This message was edited Sat Sep 13 22:44:32 PDT 2003 by AnotherLoverToo] | |
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MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld said: It hits narcissim when you become like me
[This message was edited Sat Sep 13 22:40:29 PDT 2003 by MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld] Hi, Jess! 
I like your pics! | |
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AnotherLoverToo said: I very much believe that self-esteem can NOT be taught by someone else. I believe it's something a person develops via learning what they are good at and what they love, with family and loved ones supporting them.
Otherwise, it can turn into something insecure and ugly and narcissistic... [This message was edited Sat Sep 13 22:44:32 PDT 2003 by AnotherLoverToo] and then there are those that can only find self worth by shitting all over everyone else. those are the sad bastards... Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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AnotherLoverToo said: MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld said: It hits narcissim when you become like me
[This message was edited Sat Sep 13 22:40:29 PDT 2003 by MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld] Hi, Jess!
I like your pics! Hi...which pics...the one with me flippin the org off | |
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cborgman said: AnotherLoverToo said: I very much believe that self-esteem can NOT be taught by someone else. I believe it's something a person develops via learning what they are good at and what they love, with family and loved ones supporting them.
Otherwise, it can turn into something insecure and ugly and narcissistic... [This message was edited Sat Sep 13 22:44:32 PDT 2003 by AnotherLoverToo] and then there are those that can only find self worth by shitting all over everyone else. those are the sad bastards...  Chris! I think I've gotten you really wound up! This is just theory, darling! | |
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MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld said: AnotherLoverToo said: MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld said: It hits narcissim when you become like me
[This message was edited Sat Sep 13 22:40:29 PDT 2003 by MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld] Hi, Jess!
I like your pics! Hi...which pics...the one with me flippin the org off Yep--all of 'em, really! | |
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AnotherLoverToo said: cborgman said: AnotherLoverToo said: I very much believe that self-esteem can NOT be taught by someone else. I believe it's something a person develops via learning what they are good at and what they love, with family and loved ones supporting them.
Otherwise, it can turn into something insecure and ugly and narcissistic... [This message was edited Sat Sep 13 22:44:32 PDT 2003 by AnotherLoverToo] and then there are those that can only find self worth by shitting all over everyone else. those are the sad bastards... Chris! I think I've gotten you really wound up! This is just theory, darling!oh, i know that... so am i. Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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AnotherLoverToo said: MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld said: AnotherLoverToo said: MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld said: It hits narcissim when you become like me
[This message was edited Sat Sep 13 22:40:29 PDT 2003 by MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld] Hi, Jess!
I like your pics! Hi...which pics...the one with me flippin the org off Yep--all of 'em, really! Why thank ya I like them too | |
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MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld said: AnotherLoverToo said: MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld said: AnotherLoverToo said: MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld said: It hits narcissim when you become like me
[This message was edited Sat Sep 13 22:40:29 PDT 2003 by MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld] Hi, Jess!
I like your pics! Hi...which pics...the one with me flippin the org off Yep--all of 'em, really! Why thank ya I like them too  You narcissist!
| |
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AnotherLoverToo said: MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld said: AnotherLoverToo said: MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld said: AnotherLoverToo said: MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld said: It hits narcissim when you become like me
[This message was edited Sat Sep 13 22:40:29 PDT 2003 by MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld] Hi, Jess!
I like your pics! Hi...which pics...the one with me flippin the org off Yep--all of 'em, really! Why thank ya I like them too You narcissist!
Yup that is me...the whorish narcissist...DAMN IT I LOVE MY FAULTS. Hey nobody is 100% perfect...well except for me | |
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AnotherLoverToo said: AaronMaximus said: AnotherLoverToo said: You know what I think is one of the most stupid things that we do here in the U.S. with our kids? We focus so much on "self-esteem", that we're raising totally spoiled brats. We're teaching kids that "everybody's a winner" and that everyone "deserves" a prize and they "deserve" to get exactly what they want.
This is not teaching them much about real life and the world around them. I agree with this. I'm all for teaching kids to have self-esteem and to stand up for themselves. But that should also include being able to take care of themselves, and realizing that life is a bitch sometimes, and you don't always get your way. The world doesn't revolve around you. You don't know how many kids/teenagers I know that have the attitude that they have a right to be happy and comfortable 24/7, and that no dark cloud shall ever befall them. Be it personal trouble, having to do something for themselves, having a job and showing up at it, having people tell them no, etc. Exactly! And Lord knows, I love kids, but it is not doing them any favors to give them what they want all of the time. They'll only grow into adults who expect to be given everything (regardless of how little they put into it), and go into a narcissistic rage when they don't get it. For example, let's take sports: I think it's a great idea to encourage the spirit of the game with kids, rather than pure competition. But when you teach kids that "everybody's a winner"--that's a bunch of crap. They need to learn that sometimes there are going to be people who are more skilled and talented than they are in certain areas--but that in other areas, perhaps they will be the ones to shine. In academics, kids with good grades are going to get the scholarships and go to the good schools. It's important that kids learn that hard work/talent--whether academically or athletically or muscially--has its rewards. I agree wholeheartedly. I feel lucky that this trend showed up mostly AFTER my own adolescent years. I actually feel sorry for a lot of these kids. They're in for a rude awakening or they just are not going to be able to cut it. I'm thankful that there was enough in life that I WASN'T given, that I'm able to fully function as an adult, and I know what is expected of an adult. | |
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AaronMaximus said: AnotherLoverToo said: AaronMaximus said: AnotherLoverToo said: You know what I think is one of the most stupid things that we do here in the U.S. with our kids? We focus so much on "self-esteem", that we're raising totally spoiled brats. We're teaching kids that "everybody's a winner" and that everyone "deserves" a prize and they "deserve" to get exactly what they want.
This is not teaching them much about real life and the world around them. I agree with this. I'm all for teaching kids to have self-esteem and to stand up for themselves. But that should also include being able to take care of themselves, and realizing that life is a bitch sometimes, and you don't always get your way. The world doesn't revolve around you. You don't know how many kids/teenagers I know that have the attitude that they have a right to be happy and comfortable 24/7, and that no dark cloud shall ever befall them. Be it personal trouble, having to do something for themselves, having a job and showing up at it, having people tell them no, etc. Exactly! And Lord knows, I love kids, but it is not doing them any favors to give them what they want all of the time. They'll only grow into adults who expect to be given everything (regardless of how little they put into it), and go into a narcissistic rage when they don't get it. For example, let's take sports: I think it's a great idea to encourage the spirit of the game with kids, rather than pure competition. But when you teach kids that "everybody's a winner"--that's a bunch of crap. They need to learn that sometimes there are going to be people who are more skilled and talented than they are in certain areas--but that in other areas, perhaps they will be the ones to shine. In academics, kids with good grades are going to get the scholarships and go to the good schools. It's important that kids learn that hard work/talent--whether academically or athletically or muscially--has its rewards. I agree wholeheartedly. I feel lucky that this trend showed up mostly AFTER my own adolescent years. I actually feel sorry for a lot of these kids. They're in for a rude awakening or they just are not going to be able to cut it. I'm thankful that there was enough in life that I WASN'T given, that I'm able to fully function as an adult, and I know what is expected of an adult. Same here, when I was growing up there were still "winners" and "losers" on sports teams and classrooms. But it was something that I learned as a life lesson, and what made it a positive lesson was learning good sportsmanship, aka, winning or losing with dignity. I also learned that there were going to be many, many opportunities in life to "win" and that I was going to have to learn to deal with disappointment as well as joy and pride in myself. I think parents/adults have gotten lazy, they give kids what they want so that they don't have to deal with the tears and fits kids have as they learn these lessons. | |
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