If a friend lies to me, I usually give them a second chance, dunno why but I guess I'm that stupid. If they lie again I have not, at least in the past. Now somebody did it to me again, completely needlessly (Yes, I consider some lies white ones) It was a lie for the sake of lying I feel, and the person shows no remorse and will not apologise. So, help me out here... is this a case of two strikes and you're out or does the person get another chance?

Jen

Teacher said:

They're fired!

Seriously, though...you'll never look at this person the same way again. The seal has been broken...it's an instant downgrade. You can work with what's left if it's a valuable friendship, but you can't hide the crack in the foundation.

Tough call.

For the most part, someone that lies to you isn't a true friend. You don't have to write them off completely, just know not to trust them and make them more of an acquaintance. It also depends how long you've been friends and what the lie was. I have a friend that I love to death, but she exaggerates so much and I know not to believe everything she says. But I don't look at is as a blantant lie to me...I just know how she is and when I catch her I point it out and she gets all embarrassed. Some people are just like that.

CarrieLee said:

I wish this person would get embarrassed Thank u for the advice, I think I will follow it

Your welcome. Good luck.

Once and that is it. If you trust someone and they break that trust they are not worth having as friends

teller said:

FIRED!!

I heard this somewhere...

"Some people only find a purpose in our weaknesses, not our strengths."

If you told them how they lied, maybe they would listen and feel remorse. Have you done that? Do they do it just to sabatoge themselves(build themselves up), or is it an out and out thing that you caught them at?

I usually drop people like a hot potato if it's too my face, but online who knows what's really "up"? But I'm "stupid" too. I'm learning to change that a bit to be more realistic, but it is hard to draw the line. I know how hard that is for you, as well, because you care.

Do they care about you as much as you care about about their friendship? Are they worth knowing? Maybe you should ask these questions, and can sort it out.

But look them in the eye, and say how you feel. If they lie to your face, that IS inexcusable.

rainbowray said:

Yeah, thank u for the advice. I have been asking others as well lately, how I lied to them cos they accused me of lying, but I did not get an answer 'Tis the same thing here, I get no answer. TY for your input though

Jen
Fuck, I had to edit cos I didn't proof read again
[This message was edited Wed Jun 18 9:36:40 PDT 2003 by Teacher]

Well, I'd ditch 'em.

Fuck it, life is too short to spend your free time with people you distrust or who are insincere.

I have been asking others as well lately, how I lied to them cos they accused me of lying, but I did not get an answer


Shoulda read those emails! U still rock.

If you come into my hmoe or life, don't lie or steal from me or it's curtains.

Try to forgive them.

Paisley said:

Some people just trust way too much!

ian said:

Teacher said:

What exactly did they lie about? (If U don't mind me asking)

if you can't trust a friend, who can you trust? sometimes things can get misconstrued as a lie but i'm assuming that is not the case here. get an aswer first as to why the li was told then decide.

CAMILLE4U said:

Well, like this. I met this person that my (ex)friend met before, and this person was then introduced as a relative of my friend. It made sense as far as background and things, so I thought nothing of it...till I learned that they were not blood, or "married-in" relatives of any kind... see my point, why lie about such a thing?

Aaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh, I gotta learn to fucking proof read!!!
[This message was edited Wed Jun 18 14:26:40 PDT 2003 by Teacher]

imnotsayinthisjust2bnasty said:

The answer was this:

That was just the way it came out

It really depends on the lie, and on how much you know and care about the person.

I usually trust most people to a level that their lies don't affect my life. If it becomes a closer friendship, that means more, then when I catch them lie, I'll set them back to the lower level, and let them work hard on building my trust in them again.

I don't ditch anyone. I keep in touch almost always.

Do friends lie?

betrayal of trust comes in all shapes and sizes. . . i tend to try and give people the benefit of the doubt/another chance(s). but, when it becomes apparent that the person who has betrayed me did so knowingly and maliciously then i DROP them

Decision made, thank u all for your input

pejman said:

There's nothing wrong with that.

very touchy subject...

its hard when someone close to you deceives you in any manner...large lie or small...its very difficult to trust them again, and really what is ANY type of relationship without trust. talk to them...try and figure out their motive for the lie.

if you want to save the relationship, great...but you have to be sure they want to as well. and trying to get them to talk about it could prove difficult, they may feel guilty for what was done or maybe they just want to put it behind them. i've been tryin' to sort things out with a friend of mine for about a year now...still waitin' for the conversatition...i'm about to the point of giving up. so i can understand what you're going thru.

good luck.