Okay, so my son tells me this morning that a kid, Ricky, at school told him he's going to give him a black eye. This Ricky kid already gave another kid two black eyes. So, I asked my son why he was going to do this... my son said because he won't do what Ricky wants him to do to get into trouble. And that he was okay with that... so...

What do I tell my son to do? Do I tell him to hit Ricky back? Or... what?

Don't tell him to hit the kid... you don't want to reinforce that kind of behavior. Have him tell his teacher about the kid and have them handle it... or you could tell the teacher yourself.

IceNine said:

Well, that's what he said he was going to do... he was going to tell the teacher... but AFTER it happened. The thing is... I don't think he really knew that it may hurt. He was making light of it.

My telling the teacher myself may just make it worse... and it really won't prevent it, you know? I guess the other kid was given his out on the playground. They way my son talks about it is like it's a gift...

Colin isn't worried about it, it doesn't seem... so I don't want to talk to him too much about it... I think I'm more upset and worried about it than him. I don't want him coming home with a black eye... that would kill me.

Just punch the kid in the face and tell him to bollocks.

I think you need to call the school Azure. I'd rather have them be aware of this kid's behavior than have your kid suffer and get a black eye.

Make your son understand that this Ricky ain't his master, he doesn't have the right to tell him what he has to do!
And try to call Rickys parents or something.
If that doesn't work, U go and give RICKY a black eye!

Cloudbuster said:

CarrieLee said:

Ugh... I promised myself I would never be a parent like that... I mean, I know what you and Tony are saying, but, I don't know. I can't protect him all the time, you know? Even though I want to, and I remember being in school and if word got out that your parents called about something like this, it only made it worse on the kid.

I've tried looking at it from all sides; my calling and my telling him to hit him back as hard as he can. What I don't want is to protect him so much that he can't fight his own battles... because I am sure this is going to go on for many years while he's in school, that's what boys do... but, at the same time, I don't want him getting punched in the face, either.

I really don't want to get in the middle, if that makes any sense to anyone out there. This kid told him this last week, apparently, and I just now heard about it. I don't know what is right... and I thought of maybe just letting Colin handle it himself, since, obviously he didn't think it was important enough to tell me about it when he first heard.

Grrr...

HerRoyalBadness said:

My son knows that... finally. That's why Ricky threatened him I think. He used to be buddies with Ricky and this other kid, Austin... but I told my son to stop doing what they do, because he kept getting into trouble. Now that he doesn't do what they want... this is what happens.

AzureStar said:

I know what you mean. First off, how old is your kid? If it's elementary school then who cares if you call. I just think that if he comes home crying with a black eye you may feel bad for not trying to stop it, ya know?

CarrieLee said:

He's six...I know... I know what you're saying. Grrr... sometimes I hate being a parent.

It all comes down to this:

You do not want to teach your son that violence is the solution to problems.

IceNine said:

No, but he has to be able to stand up for himself and defend himself if he's ever attacked. I would first tell Colin to tell the kid that that they should just try to be friends and that if he even tries to give him a black eye he's going to get in big trouble. If that doesn't work, I'd call the school. You have to give him a chance to stand up for himself first.

This is what I'd do. I'd call the school so that they are aware of it. If this little shit is warned and is still threatening to give black eyes then teach your kid how to give a nasty left hook. 2 wrongs don't make a right, but if you do the right thing first and it doesn't work then it's time to take matters into your own hands!

applekisses said:

My opinion is that you shouldn't tell them to hit anyone else and I think that your idea is really good. He should stand up for himself but he shouldn't hit anyone.

Teach yer kid that Mr. Spock Vulcan shoulder-pinch thingamajigger...

Problem solved... 8)

Damn, now that is a problem. Have you ever seen the film Scum? I reckon you should go up to this kid yourself with a chair leg and say "Hi, I'm the Greenhouse effect".

He sounds like a right little prick to me. Do you live in the UK. If so I'll kidnap him 4 U. 'See how many wine bottles I can fill with his blood.

IceNine said:

Thanks I think it's a good idea too.

I think you could explain to your son that although hitting people is not acceptable, self-defence is and sometimes it is important to stand up for yourself.

If I have kids someday, I'll teach them to fight their own battles and to stick up for themselves. It's one thing to tell your kids that violence is wrong, but school is school and it's important that kids learn that sometimes in life you will encounter violent people and need to defend yourself.

ian said:

Right, right... self-defense is different than starting it. I would agree... but with little kids, I would like to see them try have the teacher help with the situation.

Who am I to talk, I got in tons of fights as a kid and young adult... you live, you learn.

ian said:

Yes, this would be my answer as well..

sag10 said:

It's such an important part of self-worth.

BULLY's SUCK... but Ice is right violence isn't the solution...talk to the teacher or the principal.

IceNine said:

Under today's zero intelligence, erm, "zero tolerance" school policies, don't some schools report fights and other physical attacks to the cops as a battery?

matt said:

I would expect that they do now... school violence is publicized pretty heavily, so they want to make the show that they are trying to keep a handle on it.

matt said:

Yes, they do. Also some schools see a peck on the cheek between 5-year-olds as sexual assult.

applekisses said:

I have heard about the "peck on the cheek" thing before... that is really fucking stupid.

IceNine said:

It really pissed me off...that poor little boy is going to grow up thinking that he's some kind of pervert.

applekisses said:

I remember reading about this.. It was a couple of years ago...

applekisses said:

I remember giving someone two Advils for a headache in high school... I'll bet that could result in expulsion for "drug trafficking."