Tourists' questions. These questions about Australia were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and obviously the answers came from fellow Aussies.
>1. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
>A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
>
>2.. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
>A: Depends how much you've been drinking
>
>3. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
>A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water...
>
>4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
>A: So its true what they say about Swedes.
>
>5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)
>A: Let's not touch this one.
>
>6. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
>A: What did your last slave die of?
>
>7. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
>A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
>
>8. Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
>A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
>
>9. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
>A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
>
>10. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
>A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna BoysChoir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight
>after the hippo races. Come naked.
>
>11. Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
>A: No, WE don't stink.
>
>12. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia (USA)
>A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
>
>13. Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
>A: You are a British politician, right?
>
>14. Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy).
>A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
>
>15. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
>A: Only at Christmas.
>
>17. Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
>A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.
>
>18. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
>A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make
>good pets.
>
>19. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
>A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
>
>21. Q: I was in Australia in 1966 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
>A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
>
>22. Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)
>A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

LMAO!

This sounds so familiar to what I get asked.

althom said:

Sorta like the question I asked yesterday huh?

pejman said:

YES!

One day I will come down under and who knows maybe stay.

pejman said:

pejman said:

gosh do you all have cars in australia yet althom?...

i live in new zealand, but can relate to this sort of stuff.

while i was overseas an american girl asked if we had toilets that flush, when i registered confusion and said "whats flush" she got all exited grabbed my hand and took me to the toilet and gave a demo, she was delighted when i jumped up and down in glee and shock begging to know where it all goes..

lust said:

:LOL:

Christopher said:

what's a car?

lust said:

BWAAHAHAHHAAHA!
that's friggin hilarious!

this list of questions is hilarious. man, i had no idea people had such a vision of australia...


people are sooo stupid. i used to think my smart friends that eschewed the company of less intelligent people were elitists, but now i am starting to see that maybe they are right.