IceNine said:

Yes, and the last thing he told me was you can't reason with crazy ass people, so don't waste your time and energy. Now if that ain't the truth!

IceNine said:

Thanks Ice.. She is one crazy ass bitch!

Blackcat said:

Wow... where does one find an ass person, much less a crazy one???

Are these people basically a walking pair of butt cheeks?

IceNine said:

No further questions your honor.

Usually, don't they say the Devil made them do it?

Ice, you actually brought up a good point a little furhter up. Most of the encounters with God in the Bible are descibed as being very dramatic (i.e. with skies opening up, burning bushes, etc). Whenever one of these whackos goes and claims that God told them to do something, its always some diembodied voice. Probably important to note this fact

I think most people who are believers, feel that God "speaks" to them through their intuition, signs & portents. Very few actually hear a physical voice. If you are actually hearing voices, please get help immediately. You may think it is God, but its probably a chemical imbalance in your brain.

I still think the vast majority of the time, murderers claim that a deity or demon told them to kill so they can plead insanity in front of a court. If you tell everyone that some otherworldly being possessed your dog and told you to hack up your family, you are more likely to go to an institute than receive the chair. If you tell folks you killed your kids because you just didn't like them, chances are you're gonna die.

JediMaster said:

I'm with you on this... I honestly believe that all murderers who are not schizophrenic and claim that they hear god talking to them are liars.

I just heard god... he talked to me... he told me that pork is the best meat for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

IceNine said:

That's not kosher. so it can't be God. Must have been the Devil.

Heavenly said:

God told me that all that kosher shit was made up by man... he loves the taste of swine.

God doesn't tell people to murder others, he does it himself by sending us to hell for not following the rules... don't you know anything?

AzureStar said:

I know that god is a sadistic cocksucker... does that count?

IceNine said:

You two make a great team.

IceNine said:

Sure... why not? I think that's one more strike next to your name... probably not many to go before you've got your one way ticket to the fire pit.

SuperC said:

I didn't know that this was a sport.

SuperC said:

:LOL:

AzureStar said:

How many strikes does god give you before it just goes ahead and hits you with a pack of locusts or something?

IceNine said:

Doesn't have to be a sport for you to have a team.

SuperC said:

For a great example of a self-congratulatory post, see above.

:LOL:

IceNine said:

I put the "C" in Congratulatory :LOL:

IceNine said:

I don't know... I've never found that part in the "Good Book".

Ask god the next time he talks to ya.

IceNine said:

Don't know, keep trying and you'll get there :LOL:

AzureStar said:

He is currently babbling on about some shit... something about lamb's blood and horse rectums. I don't get it.

SuperC said:

God is like the big umpire in the cosmic baseball game of humanity...

"Strike three... YER OUT!"

IceNine said:

He's giving you recipes now? Surely he wouldn't be talking about a sacrifice.

AzureStar said:

It's probably a new joke about sex with animals.

AzureStar said:

He was saying something about the divine flavor of horse rectums... I am trying to ignore him.

IceNine said:

I'm with Heavenly on this one... I think god's playing a prank on you!

AzureStar said:

God has played a giant cosmic prank on all of humanity by his lack of existence!

:LOL:

IceNine said:

I was close. Very, very close. Nice set up on my part!