I mean he would have to be a fit fat because some of them have that hellafid magic stick and they are always down for eatin. I'm a small person, but I do have my limits.

tackam said:

AMEN !
[This message was edited Tue May 6 11:56:51 PDT 2003 by Joshy84au]

EvilWhiteMale said:

DOUBLE AMEN!

im looking 4ward 2 WHEN i lose weight soon & i meet ppl who wouldnt give me the time of day back in school.

i already look good.let alone with a few kgs off


[This message was edited Tue May 6 12:04:04 PDT 2003 by Joshy84au]

CalhounSq said:

I'm feelin you Calhoun!

SuperC said:

Joshy84au said:

Thank you Joshy brotha!

DexMSR said:

Not all women care about those things and those things only.

Because FAT WOMEN like FAT MEN are good for SOMEthing...

tackam said:

So what's nastier - the term "fat fuck" or a man who cant look down & see his dick? Maybe we should define the term "fat" A bit of a tummy is one thing, to be straight up FAT is quite another...



PLEEZE No way I'm keeping myself together physically to get w/ some dude that's gripping a burger in one hand & my ass the other If my soulmate happens to be fat, I'd just have to help him lose the weight & work out before he ever got me into bed I wanna be turned on, not repulsed - nothing wrong w/ that. What's sexy about someone who cares more about food than their health & self esteem? I guess women are supposed to forgive EVERYTHING huh - emotional unavailability, cheating, being a fat fuck... PLEEZE

Dex!

Look what you have gone and started! Behave damn it!

IceNine said:

That makes it right doesn't it Hal?

CalhounSq said:

im overweight...

does this make me a fat fuck?

or does this make u ignorant?

Joshy84au said:

uhh...

say what now?

First off, there is a BIG difference between morbidly obese and a little chubby. No pun intended. And I think we all need to take that into consideration.



That said, I don't mind weight on a guy, lord knows I'm not perfect! It upsets me to see anyone eat crap all day - doesn't matter who it is - so you've gotta take that into consideration. I guess if you're purposely contributing to your condition by eating nothing but fast food, it says something to me. Eating right and still being chubby is also completely different than eating shit and being chubby.

Looking back, two of the guys I dated were very tall and skinny. Another guy had this cute little belly that he couldn't get rid of () and another was chubby all over, but I didn't care.

I think guys just verbalize their dissatisfaction with 'fat chicks' more than women do about 'fat men'. We tend to keep it to ourselves. Doesn't mean it happens less. Like Calhoun said - you can't hear what we're thinking.

Joshy84au said:

I knew there would be someone who would take the shit personally You can call me what you want my dear, just know that I'm a woman w/ a right to refuse my puss to any guy, including fat/overweight/chubby ones. The funniest thing is that if I was a guy saying this about a fat chick, nobody would question a fucking thing BULLSHIT! LOUDER, SAY IT!!

CalhounSq said:

I would question it...one can state his or her preferences without being degrading or insulting.
It's all about tact.

applekisses said:

Okay, so the real problem is not that I don't wanna fuck a fat guy, but that I used the term "fat fuck" right? Fine... I'd rather refrain from sleeping with an overweight gentleman. Same shit, nice & fluffy

CalhounSq said:

There ya go!
Now...doesn't it feel better to not hurt people's feelings?

DexMSR said:

Fat dudes, I have no problem with, as long as they keep themselves clean and good lookin, always smell good, and their tummies don't get in the way of sex. More than likely, they're large in other places ...More cushions for tha pushn'!

applekisses said:

Not really But it made you smile so it can't be all bad

CalhounSq said:

awww...come 'ere...

CalhounSq said:

There are people who are fat because they are lazy pigs, but please realize that being fat in this culture is pretty hellish (thanks to the cruelty of people like you), so most people will do just about anything to be thin.

Fact of the matter is, there are plenty of fat people who don't eat that much and aren't any less active than most thin people. People like feeling superior to other people, so prefer to think that fat people are somehow lesser human beings, but it's not true. You're being ignorant.

In any case, you, dearie, can't tell the "lazy pig" fatties from the "nice regular person" fatties, so while you are not obliged to sleep with anybody you don't want to sleep with, you ought to be kind to everybody as a default position.

As is common on the 'net, you've forgotten that just because you can't see people doesn't mean they don't exist and haven't got feelings. You are being cruel, along with the creator of this and other threads. It makes me really sad to see it.

tackam said:

I'm sorry I didn't take the time to be ultra gentle & coddle all overweight folks that might read this but the bottom line is still the same. Whether a guy is big b/c of something medical or b/c he can't stay away from the friggin drive-through doesn't really matter when I'm in a near death situation everytime he climbs on top of me. Like I said, I'd try to help the dude lose weight somehow if he was really the one for me but I'm not gonna sit up here & pretend I'm a saint by saying "It's okay if he's fat!" NO, it really isn't! It's not healthy, it's often avoidable & it ain't sexy - last time I checked it was my choice to feel that way. Nothing cruel about it, sorry you see it like that. Should I not have the option to be attracted to my boyfriend/husband?

And let's not make it seem like everyone who's overweight is suffering some medical condition - MANY are not. MANY just don't know how to eat - we're a fast food generation where kids are brought up not knowing their daily intake is extremely unhealthy. America is fat as all hell & in need of reform. The lack of responsibility is astonishing, just look @ the bullshit lawsuits against fast food chains & airlines for seat width - COME ON. I know I'm going off on a tangent now but DAMN.

This is not a personal attack against you or anyone else on this thread/website, I'm just stating my preference. I know being fat in this culture is hell - I have two cousins who are very young, very fat & VERY miserable. Should I try to help them lose the weight to become happier with themselves or should I coddle them & tell them it's okay while the rest of the world treats them like shit? The way to go IMO is somewhere inbetween - help them get to a happier, more healthy place while holding their spirits up. I agree w/ you, it IS sad that overweight people get treated so bad on the whole, but the world isn't getting any nicer. And all the silence, excuses & comforting in the world ain't making fat people any healthier or happier. When physically able, people need to face the difficult/unfair reality, make the mental adjustment to change their lives & make some progress toward living the life they really want.

Maybe I should have approached it as if I was talking to one of my cousins & been more sensitive, I can admit to that. Thanks for helping me see it, but I hope you see my point too. I was insensitive yes, but not ignorant - the bottom line is still the same. I see my cousins watching how hard they sit on something, being embarrassed around the opposite sex, dreading everything about their physical selves - being fat is really a prison. No one should have to live like that & anyone who can do otherwise should. I hope all the "nice regular person" fatties will be nice to themselves & get on the road to getting out of that prison. It's difficult, but not impossible...

CalhounSq said:

Ok.

You're right, it's difficult but not impossible. As I see it, there are two ways that normal fat people can deal with it. They can dedicate a lot of time and energy to losing weight, or they can accept their bodies as they are. On one hand, it is really nice to have optimum health and social acceptance, but on the other hand, one might not want to devote so much energy to physical appearance, or even to some improvement in health (ie. if you had to devote 2 hours a day to activities you hate in order to live an extra 4 years, is it worth it?). Some people find the extra time spent on themselves a luxury, while others can feel like they already obsess about their weight and would prefer to make it something that they think less, rather than more, about.

I think that is a personal choice, and I support people in making either decision. It's their lives. I think that they deserve to be treated with kindness and respect either way. I think you can agree with that.

(And I agree with you that you don't have to date anybody you don't find attractive. Obviously.)

tackam said:

I'm talking about a difference more drastic than an extra 4 years of life & you know it. The risk of diabetes is reduced by losing weight, and getting diabetes is a DRASTIC lifestyle change. Clogged arteries & other serious health conditions from intaking too much fat is reduced by changes in diet. These can make a difference of MANY years in ones life & HOW those years are lived. Having more energy, being more physically capable, having stamina, making shopping enjoyable for a change (lol), just an overall better outlook & self esteeem, LOTS of things...



But the latter never REALLY happens, does it? It's definitely easier (physically) to pretend to put the whole weight issue to bed & just live w/ it, but it never truly goes away. I don't think anyone enjoys being fat, some people choose not to take on the battle for whatever reason. But they're always tortured (mentally) by that choice...



True, I guess I'll have to do better @ being more kind. I just think the sensitivity issue gets run into the ground sometimes. The focus is on how hard it is & feeling sorry for overweight people - instead of the blunt truth (which is as simple as altering eating habits & some degree of exercise, doesn't have to be 2 hours worth), folks prefer the sugar coated lies (it's okay!) but sugar is bad for all of us, lol...

Don't think I'm not speaking from experience here I've never been fat but I've only been really fit ONCE in my life for about 2 weeks, LOL. I can stand to lose 5 or 10lbs & I've been unhappy about it since FOREVER. I can identify w/ the folks who don't know how to eat b/c my eating habits used to be horrible. I actually thought a hamburger & fries was a normal meal! On top of that, I have the biggest sweet tooth of anyone I know. I finally made up my mind this year to change the way I eat & to my SHOCK it's NOT that hard, wish I'd done it years ago! But I was defiant, didn't realize I could eat food that tastes good w/o all the fat.

Whatever, I'm rambling now but I'm familiar w/ the battle, I see it all around me in my family & it hurts. Though my personal battle is considerably smaller than someone w/ a "weight problem", it's the choice to take it on (not the size of it) that counts...




.
[This message was edited Thu May 8 3:47:29 PDT 2003 by CalhounSq]

Okay,its NOT about being superficial or shallow...people can't help what they're physically attracted to or what turns them on!
I like slim,lean men,not apologizing for it.
Men who are big(whether its fat & chunky or all beefy & muscular) just DON'T turn me on.

If I didn't like skinny,why would I be looking at Prince?

CalhounSq,

It's just not true that making dietary changes and doing small amounts of excercise will help everyone lose weight. If that were true, more people would do it.

I'm significantly overweight, and have been since I was a child. I'm a vegan. My diet is extremely healthy. My blood pressure and cholesterol are perfect. I have no signs of diabetes. The only health problem I have as a result is foot pain, but it's not debilitating or anything.

My husband has the same diet and activity level that I do. He's pretty much a toothpick.

I have lost weight in the past. I had to eat one very small meal and one snack a day to do it, and I was dizzy and sleepy most of the time. I didn't have the energy to excercise. It wasn't a viable long term solution. Doctors told me that the only real solution was to eat more frequently. As soon as I started eating enough to make myself feel well enough to function like a normal human being (ie. walk across my college campus without getting dizzy and having to sit down and drink some juice), I gained it back. I went vegan after that, and thought that such a big dietary change would probably cause me to lose weight, but it didn't.

I joined a gym. Went religiously for months. Didn't lose any weight or inches. Hated every second. Plus, I have excercise-induced asthma, so my lungs felt like crap afterwards.

I've decided that the social unpleasantness of being fat is easier to deal with than the hell I have to go through to be thin. It's not that I'm lazy, it's not that I don't have willpower, it's not that I don't care about my health. It's not a thyroid problem or anything like that. My metabolism is just insanely slow. I don't think I'm that exceptional.

And I don't think I need skinny people telling me that I should care more about myself, or asshole guys telling me I'm nearly too disgusting to fuck and surely too disgusting to be seen in public with. I'm pretty ok with how I look. If it weren't for the social prejudice/cruelty, it really wouldn't be an issue in my life. But my being a fat (ie. ugly) girl is a big problem for everyone else, apparently.

I appreciate you're attempt to be more sensitive, even if you think you shouldn't really have to be, and I wish that other orgers (and people in general) would follow your example and try to show some common human decency.

And don't make assumptions.

That's all.

psychodelicide said:

I always wear suspenders when I've got a suit on.

tackam said:

I hear you Tackam Sorry to hear it's been so hard for you, I wish an energy supplement (like Xenodrine) or something could have made your attempts less hellish & more successful - you're clearly not a person who hasn't put significant effort into losing weight. In the end you're right, I shouldn't assume it's simple & controllable for most everyone. What started as an off-the-cuff comment has morphed into something I didn't expect, but I'm definitely getting something out of it that's positive. I didn't intend to hurt anybody & I apologize to you & anyone else I offended by being insensitive...

CalhounSq said:

You're a sweetheart.