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"KingBAD… if I'm stuck in some groovy wet dream, don't pinch me, I'm diggin' the scene." "KingBAD… we could... we could make a story of our own!!!"
They Walk Among Us! ..... let me tell you bout em
I was at the checkout of a local Walmart.
The cashier rang up $46.64 in charges.
I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64.
I gave the money back to her and told her that she
had made a mistake in MY favor.
She became indignant and informed me she was educated and
knew what she was doing, and she returned the money again.
I gave her the money back -- same scenario!
I departed the store with the $46.64.
THEN
I walked into a Starbucks with a
buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Grande Latte.
I handed it to the girl and she looked over at
a little chalkboard that said 'buy one-get one free.'
"They're already buy-one- get-one-free," she said,
"so I guess they're both free."
She handed me my free lattes, and I walked out the door.
They Walk Among Us! .....
I was walking down the beach with some friends,
when one of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!"
Someone looked up at the sky and asked, "Where?"
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center.
One day I got a call from an individual who asked
what hours the call center was open.
I told him, "The number you dialed is open
24 hours a day, 7 days a week."
He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"
My friend's sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped.
She keeps it in the trunk.
They Walk Among Us! .....
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area,
so I went to the lost luggage office and
told the woman there that my bags never showed up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because
she was a trained professional, and I was in good hands.
"Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"
So I replied, "No Ma'am, The Pilot told us we're circling the airport,
3rd in line to land" .....
At a pizza place, I observed
a man ordering a small pizza to go.
He appeared to be alone, and the cook asked him
if he would like it cut into four pieces or six..
He thought about it for some time before responding.
"Just cut it into four pieces.
I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat six pieces."
YOU JUST CAN'T MAKE UP SHIT LIKE THIS
i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT... 
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE... | |
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"KingBAD… shall I remain upright, I wish there were no rules." A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet,
and have dinner with her parents.
Since this is such a big event,
the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner,
she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before,
so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.
He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and
the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.
He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy
how many condoms he'd like to buy,
a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family Pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he
thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and
meets his girlfriend at the door.
"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents,
come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table
where the girl's parents are seated.
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,
with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down,
the girl friend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend,
"I had no Idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back,
"I had no idea your father was THE pharmacist.
i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE... | |
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"I sincerely want to fuck the taste out of your mouth..." i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE... | |
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i could never play in snow that long i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE... | |
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Hey! By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory! | |
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it's amazin that i missed you so many times...
i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE... | |
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By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory! | |
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QUOTE……………. You think you have lived to be 70 and know who you are, then along comes someone who blows it all away!
I recently sat down at Starbucks, I was wearing a tatty old flying jacket that I had worn for many years and I ordered a cup of coffee
As I sat sipping my coffee, a young woman sat down next to me. She turned and asked, are you a real pilot?'
I replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life flying small planes, first Austers, then the early Pipers and Cessna’s..... I've given more than 250 people their first ever flight so I guess I must be a pilot… I said “how about you – what do you do…?”
She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women."
We both sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of me and asked: "Are you a real pilot?"
I replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian." …………UNQUOTE
i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE... | |
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"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
https://youtu.be/CVwv9LZMah0 | |
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Once at a drive threw I got my $10 bill back with the change due... i said "you made a mistake..." she said "No, I didn't you'll have to come inside..." So I did. Tell the manager and the lady comes over saying she did not make any mistakes accusing me of whatever...
She cuts me off "No, if YOU want it fixed you WILL have to come in an file a..." "Keep on shilling for Big Pharm!" |
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All you others say Hell Yea!!  | |
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i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE... | |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGIA1hgaqis i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE... | |
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