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"baby, I just can't stand 2 see U happy, more than that, I hate 2 see U sad." "KingBAD… I never imagined that love would rain on me and make me wanna settle down." HEY HEY HEY!!! glad to be back at club org... what a good lookin crowd... Sooooooooooooo, i got a couple of minnits of material for ya... AND YO!!! feel free to stop me if you heards these before...
A man goes out to a bar for a few drinks.
He gets up to leave and falls flat on his face.
He lays there thinking I must have had more than I thought!
He pulls himself up on his stool and sits for a minute
trying to compose himself.
He tries a second time to stand up
but once again falls flat on his face.
Finally he thinks,
"FUKKK THIS
I'll just crawl home its only 3 blocks".
He crawls out of the bar and all the way home
where he quietly slips his key in the lock
and crawls inside only to have his wife flip on the living room light.
She looks at him angrily and says,
"You've been out drinking again haven't you?!"
The man smiles sweetly and says,
"Honey what ever gave you such an idea?"
She angrily replies,
"The bar called two hours ago!
You left your wheelchair again!"
AND THEN THERE WAS THIS OTHER GUY
decides to go out drinking after work.
At 2 a.m., they close the bar and he goes home plastered.
At home, he tip-toes up the stairs,
trips, and falls head over heels, landing on his rear end.
In his back pocket was a nearly empty pint bottle.
It broke, and the broken glass cut him terribly.
Being so drunk, he didn't realize he was injured.
A few minutes later, as he was undressing, he noticed blood,
so he checked himself out in the mirror.
He repaired the damage as best he could
under the circumstances, and he went to bed.
The next morning,
his head was throbbing, and his injury was painful,
and he was hunkering under the covers
trying to think up some good story,
when his wife came into the bedroom.
"Well, you really tied one on last night," she said. "Where'd you go?"
"I worked late," he said, "and I stopped off for a couple of beers."
"A couple of beers? That's a laugh," she replied.
"You got plastered last night. Where the heck did you go?"
"What makes you so sure I got drunk last night, anyway?"
"Well," she replied,
"my first big clue was when I got up this morning
and found a bunch of band-aids stuck to the mirror."
Ok Ok.... One more and i'm out
The Man and his wife went to the bar last night.
Folks were shouting Pedophile! Pedophile! Pedophile!
Just because she's 24 & he's 69,
it ruined their 10th anniversary...
thatthatthatthat's all folks...
i'm here all week
try the chicken....
i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT... 
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE... | |
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Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture! REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince "I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben |
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So I woke up My dog is laying on the back patio covered in dirt with a rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit's not bloody, just dirty. My neighbor's kids raise blue ribbon rabbits. I instantly knew it was one of theirs. So I took the rabbit away from my dog, rushed inside, and washed all the dirt off it before my neighbors could come home. It was stiff but I heard some animals play dead when they are afraid but I couldn't remember which ones. I took it and placed it back in one of the cages in their back yard then I ZOOMED back home. Not 30 minutes later I hear my neighbors screaming so I go out and ask them what's wrong? They tell me their rabbit died three days ago and they buried it but now it's back in the cage. 😳 i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE... | |
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^ did you miss me???
[Edited 10/6/20 12:34pm] | |
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"what r we, if we're not 2gether???" i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE... | |
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"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
https://youtu.be/CVwv9LZMah0 | |
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