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Thread started 05/31/20 6:21pm

AvocadosMax

I’m trapped in love with a woman who’s engaged

Now, let me start this off by saying going after and chasing a woman who is engaged or really serious with their partner is morally wrong. Unless of course the relationship is toxic and clearly about to end. That’s the only exception, but don’t interfere until you know for sure what the situation is.

Now, this girl i met at work. I was interested in dating other girls at the time and i had just learned that she’s engaged so i just wanted her and i to be friends. Felt i’d only like her as a friend anyways

We met last year, started talking a lot around September. We went to a movie together. Lately we talk a lot

Anyways, so the point is over time i just developed feelings for her. There’s things about her I can’t help but love. I feel deep down inside she feels something too. She has teased me a lot

But yeah it hurts because i know it’s healthy and common sense to just go after single girls, but at the same time i just finally wanna go after her and i know i can’t.

I wanna continue being friends with her but ik know as time goes on the pain will just get worse and worse... and the “wait and see” mindset seems unrealistic

Idk what to do. She’s one of the best friends i ever had. She truly understands me.
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Reply #1 posted 05/31/20 8:50pm

Dalia11

Are you sure you are in love, knowing someone a year is not long enough. Attraction, lust - definitely. Both of you are co-workers, that can cause problems.
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Reply #2 posted 05/31/20 9:31pm

luv4u

Moderator

avatar

moderator

wtf??!!

You have serious issues you need to attend to first unless you were boolshyting everyone, which you obviously are, that tried to help you.

Did you have fun taking us all for a ride?? Had a good laugh??? rolleyes

https://prince.org/msg/100/463270

canada

Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture!
REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince
"I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben
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Reply #3 posted 06/01/20 8:19am

AvocadosMax

Dalia11 said:

Are you sure you are in love, knowing someone a year is not long enough. Attraction, lust - definitely. Both of you are co-workers, that can cause problems.

that is a good point. it could be because i talk to her the most

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Reply #4 posted 06/01/20 1:01pm

purplethunder3
121

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hmm

"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato

https://youtu.be/CVwv9LZMah0
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Reply #5 posted 06/02/20 12:45pm

alphastreet

I think you should end it cause it’s not good for your well being long term. I’m sure you’ll meet someone else later
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Reply #6 posted 06/02/20 1:14pm

S2DG

avatar

You are in control of your mind, not trapped in anything.

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Reply #7 posted 06/02/20 2:22pm

namepeace

“The thing that is blind is not love but attachment. An attachment is the state of clinging that comes from the false belief that something or someone is necessary for your happiness.”

Anthony De Mello (1931 – 1987)


It's a constant struggle to avoid confusing attachment with love. I really understand what you're experiencing. I haven't been quite where you've been, but I understand the feelings and the process. And I had to realize the only person trapping me in love was me.

The hurt of loss or rejection (actual or potential) is real and it can be lasting. But process it the right way, and it can increase your awareness.

Then . . . who knows what or who happens next?

I'd recommend De Mello's book Awareness to you. It talks about this in some detail.

Good night, sweet Prince | 7 June 1958 - 21 April 2016

Props will be withheld until the showing and proving has commenced. -- Aaron McGruder
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Reply #8 posted 06/03/20 5:34pm

onlyforaminute

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As with all addictive behaviors...
Time keeps on slipping into the future...


This moment is all there is...
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Reply #9 posted 06/07/20 11:06pm

DiminutiveRock
er

avatar

onlyforaminute said:

As with all addictive behaviors...


yeahthat

VOTE....EARLY
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Reply #10 posted 06/11/20 12:22am

Graycap23

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Nothing but heartache......or worse at the end of this rainbow.

FOOLS multiply when WISE Men & Women are silent.
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Reply #11 posted 06/11/20 6:39am

DaveT

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So her fiance was ok with you taking her out to a movie? Yeah, I call BS on that ...

www.filmsfilmsfilms.co.uk - The internet's best movie site!
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Reply #12 posted 06/12/20 7:56am

RJP1205

Why is she going to the movies with another man if she's engaged? And if she feels the same toward you how could you ever trust her? If she cheats on her fiance to be with you, eventually she will cheat on you. That's how this works.
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Reply #13 posted 06/12/20 11:14am

Fauxie

avatar

I read this as 'enraged'. Sorry, as you were.

MY COUSIN WORKS IN A PHARMACY AND SHE SAID THEY ENEMA'D PRANCE INTO OBLIVION WITH FENTONILS!!
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Reply #14 posted 06/12/20 11:45am

S2DG

avatar

Fauxie said:

I read this as 'enraged'. Sorry, as you were.


falloff


Marriage in quarantine...

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Reply #15 posted 06/12/20 11:53am

purplethunder3
121

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S2DG said:

Fauxie said:

I read this as 'enraged'. Sorry, as you were.


falloff


Marriage in quarantine...

spit

"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato

https://youtu.be/CVwv9LZMah0
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Reply #16 posted 06/14/20 6:04am

Ottensen

Graycap23 said:

Nothing but heartache.....or worse at the end of this rainbow.



Indeed. Let this one go.
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Reply #17 posted 06/15/20 4:19pm

poppys

luv4u said:

wtf??!!

You have serious issues you need to attend to first unless you were boolshyting everyone, which you obviously are, that tried to help you.

Did you have fun taking us all for a ride?? Had a good laugh??? rolleyes

https://prince.org/msg/100/463270

nod full of something besides avocados. There was another long heartbreak thread with the woman he works with at the grocery store who went back with her ex right before Christmas yada yada yada

"if you can't clap on the one, then don't clap at all"
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Reply #18 posted 06/15/20 4:25pm

alphastreet

Seriously, I think you need to feel comfortable in your own skin with being on your own. It’s almost as though you feel validated by being with someone unavailable to you, and that can’t be good for your self esteem long term
[Edited 6/15/20 16:25pm]
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