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Thread started 03/20/20 11:54am

EmmaMcG

Jokes to get you through the day

Nail salons closed, Lash salons closed, Hair salons closed, Tanning salons closed, waxing salons closed...

It’s about to get ugly out there.
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Reply #1 posted 03/20/20 11:55am

EmmaMcG

If I had a penny for everyone who asked me to look after their dogs,

I’d have a pound.
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Reply #2 posted 03/20/20 2:09pm

kpowers

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EmmaMcG said:

If I had a penny for everyone who asked me to look after their dogs, I’d have a pound.

I like that one wink

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Reply #3 posted 03/20/20 4:01pm

EmmaMcG

At a job interview I filled my glass of water until it overflowed a little.

“Nervous?” asked the interviewer.

“No. I always give 110%”.
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Reply #4 posted 03/20/20 4:03pm

EmmaMcG

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.

The judge asks her: “First offender?” She replies: “No. First a Gibson, then a Fender.”
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Reply #5 posted 03/20/20 4:21pm

poppys

EmmaMcG said:

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge asks her: “First offender?” She replies: “No. First a Gibson, then a Fender.”

HAHA LoVe musician jokes.

What do you call a drummer (or insert alternate instrument) without a girlfriend? homeless

"if you can't clap on the one, then don't clap at all"
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Reply #6 posted 03/20/20 4:24pm

luv4u

Moderator

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moderator

Where is KingBAD with his jokes?? lol

canada

Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture!
REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince
"I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben
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Reply #7 posted 03/21/20 1:43am

EmmaMcG

Today I was invited by a female janitor to smoke some weed at her apartment, but I declined.

I can’t deal with high maintenance women.
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Reply #8 posted 03/21/20 1:44am

EmmaMcG

For Christmas, I bought my husband new beads for his abacus.

It’s the little things that count.
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Reply #9 posted 03/21/20 7:58am

S2DG

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EmmaMcG said:

Today I was invited by a female janitor to smoke some weed at her apartment, but I declined. I can’t deal with high maintenance women.


lol

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Reply #10 posted 03/21/20 8:28am

kpowers

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luv4u said:

Where is KingBAD with his jokes?? lol

It's Queen Emmas' turn

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Reply #11 posted 03/21/20 11:50am

S2DG

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How does a woman hold her liquor? By the ears.

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Reply #12 posted 03/21/20 2:40pm

KingBAD

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lol

lol

lol

lol

EmmaMcG said:

Nail salons closed, Lash salons closed, Hair salons closed, Tanning salons closed, waxing salons closed... It’s about to get ugly out there.

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #13 posted 03/21/20 2:41pm

KingBAD

avatar

EmmaMcG said:

If I had a penny for everyone who asked me to look after their dogs, I’d have a pound.

lol lol lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #14 posted 03/21/20 2:42pm

KingBAD

avatar

EmmaMcG said:

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge asks her: “First offender?” She replies: “No. First a Gibson, then a Fender.”

lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #15 posted 03/21/20 2:43pm

KingBAD

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luv4u said:

Where is KingBAD with his jokes?? lol

can't help it if you ain't keepin up biggrin biggrin biggrin

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #16 posted 03/21/20 2:43pm

KingBAD

avatar

S2DG said:

How does a woman hold her liquor? By the ears.

lol lol lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #17 posted 03/21/20 4:23pm

EmmaMcG

I can’t believe someone broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick.

How low can you go?
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Reply #18 posted 03/21/20 4:26pm

EmmaMcG

Did you know a school of piranha can devour a child in 30 seconds?

Anyway, today I lost my job at the aquarium.
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Reply #19 posted 03/21/20 6:23pm

kpowers

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EmmaMcG said:

Did you know a school of piranha can devour a child in 30 seconds? Anyway, today I lost my job at the aquarium.

Image result for batman laughing gif

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Reply #20 posted 03/21/20 6:56pm

KingBAD

avatar

EmmaMcG said:

I can’t believe someone broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick. How low can you go?

lol lol lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #21 posted 03/21/20 7:48pm

KingBAD

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luv4u said:

Where is KingBAD with his jokes?? lol

Image may contain: possible text that says 'JOKE LIKE SHARE OF THE DAY If women are so good at multi-tasking, why can't they have a headache and sex at the same time!?'

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #22 posted 03/22/20 7:49am

EmmaMcG

The guy who stole my diary just died.

My thoughts are with his family.
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Reply #23 posted 03/22/20 7:53am

EmmaMcG

Does anybody remember the joke I posted about my spine?

It was about a weak back.
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Reply #24 posted 03/22/20 8:10am

KingBAD

avatar

EmmaMcG said:

The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #25 posted 03/22/20 8:30am

poppys

Girlz got jokes! flower

"if you can't clap on the one, then don't clap at all"
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Reply #26 posted 03/22/20 9:38am

S2DG

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EmmaMcG said:

Does anybody remember the joke I posted about my spine? It was about a weak back.



falloff

Emma you're on fire here.

People, please tip your waitresses, she's here all week.

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Reply #27 posted 03/22/20 9:47am

poppys

S2DG said:

How does a woman hold her liquor? By the ears.


nod cool

related - I call my man Courvoisier, 'cause he's a likker.

[Edited 3/22/20 13:02pm]

"if you can't clap on the one, then don't clap at all"
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Reply #28 posted 03/22/20 12:56pm

kpowers

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EmmaMcG said:

The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.

Image result for batman laughing gif

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Reply #29 posted 03/22/20 1:23pm

S2DG

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You've gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.

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Forums > General Discussion > Jokes to get you through the day