"who asked your ugly ass what time it was? Nobody! We're doin' fine! "
"shall we give in 2 our biggest fears?"
Do you fart in bed ?
the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly
every morning when he awoke the noise would wake his wife
and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
because it was making her sick.
He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor,
she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out.
Then one Christmas day morning,
as she was preparing the turkey for dinner
and he was upstairs sound asleep,
she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts,
and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs
where her husband was sound asleep and,
gently pulling the bed covers back,
she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants
and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his
usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream
and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing,
tears in her eyes!
After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later,
her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants
with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, “Honey you were right…
all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.”
“What do you mean?” asked his wife.
“Well, you always told me that one day
I would end up farting my guts out,
and today it finally happened,
but by the grace of god,
some Vaseline and two fingers.
I think I got most of them back in……......
i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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