"I got a job, why don't y'all get a job? It's a dishonest one, but..."

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to WalMart. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local WalMart:

I don't get number 12? 🤔

Other than that, 😂 are the things that I would probably do. Don't forget, ROLLING IN THE AISLES!

^ Madonna look as in holding said orange cones to his chest, pointing out

Fun things to do while riding in an elevator:

1. Go into a crowded elevator and say “I bet you’re wondering why I gathered you all here.”
2. Looking nowhere in particular, say “That’s a weird place to put a piano.”
3. Sit down (possibly in a chair you bring with you).
4. After someone exits the elevator, just as the doors are closing, say “Wait, you forgot your…”
5. Get everyone on the elevator to agree to bust out laughing as soon as the elevator opens on the ground floor as if you just said an amazing joke. –
6. When someone goes to push a button, stop them and ask “Wait, can I push it for you? I like the way it feels.”
7. Wear headphones that aren’t plugged into anything. Quietly “sing along” to a ridiculous song.
8. Face the wrong way.
9. When going down, press the button for 3 floors. Get off at the first stop, run down and get back on the same elevator on the third spot.
10. Hold the elevator doors open and explain to the other passengers that you’re waiting for your friend, George. Wait a few seconds and then turn to the empty space and ask “George, what took you so long?”
11. Stand in the corner, whispering.
12. Make race car noises any time someone gets on or off.
13. Repeatedly whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World.”
14. Offer name tags to people who enter the elevator.
15. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
16. Yell “Chutes away!” whenever the elevator descends.
17. Lean against the button panel.
18. As the door closes on someone’s way out, whisper softly “I love you”, with enough time for them to turn around and make eye contact.
19. As you get on, make a point of being seen slipping a $1 bill between the crack of the elevator car and the floor. Let a moment pass and ask them in your most nonchalant manner, “Do you think I should have tipped more?”
20. As someone gets off, follow them and hold your finger to ear while saying “Target on the move.”

https://www.humorthatworks.com/database/20-fun-things-to-do-in-an-elevator/

^ http://www.margolin.us/i/...edface.gif


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[Edited 11/1/19 17:59pm]

XxAxX said:

Ok, I got it now

XxAxX said:

Fun things to do while riding in an elevator:

1. Go into a crowded elevator and say “I bet you’re wondering why I gathered you all here.”
2. Looking nowhere in particular, say “That’s a weird place to put a piano.”
3. Sit down (possibly in a chair you bring with you).
4. After someone exits the elevator, just as the doors are closing, say “Wait, you forgot your…”
5. Get everyone on the elevator to agree to bust out laughing as soon as the elevator opens on the ground floor as if you just said an amazing joke. –
6. When someone goes to push a button, stop them and ask “Wait, can I push it for you? I like the way it feels.”
7. Wear headphones that aren’t plugged into anything. Quietly “sing along” to a ridiculous song.
8. Face the wrong way.
9. When going down, press the button for 3 floors. Get off at the first stop, run down and get back on the same elevator on the third spot.
10. Hold the elevator doors open and explain to the other passengers that you’re waiting for your friend, George. Wait a few seconds and then turn to the empty space and ask “George, what took you so long?”
11. Stand in the corner, whispering.
12. Make race car noises any time someone gets on or off.
13. Repeatedly whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World.”
14. Offer name tags to people who enter the elevator.
15. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
16. Yell “Chutes away!” whenever the elevator descends.
17. Lean against the button panel.
18. As the door closes on someone’s way out, whisper softly “I love you”, with enough time for them to turn around and make eye contact.
19. As you get on, make a point of being seen slipping a $1 bill between the crack of the elevator car and the floor. Let a moment pass and ask them in your most nonchalant manner, “Do you think I should have tipped more?”
20. As someone gets off, follow them and hold your finger to ear while saying “Target on the move.”

https://www.humorthatworks.com/database/20-fun-things-to-do-in-an-elevator/