MoBettaBliss said:

My condolences, Ace

i have had a close friend die suddenly... i never really fully got my head around it to be honest

From where I sit now, I can totally understand that.

Thank you.

sonshine said:

Ace said:

She was only 45. It's hitting me fucking hard. Helps to talk about it.

Have any of you guys ever lost someone near-and-dear to you without warning?

Yes. Here one moment, gone the next along with the only life I knew. There are no words to describe the incredible pain. Sorry for your loss.

Thank you, sonshine.

Yes, I was reminded of that Don Henley lyric:

2freaky4church1 said:

Poor Ace. I lost a friend as well, but at least he was in his seventies.

Thank you, freaky. I know we've had our differences, too, so this is really appreciated.

kpowers said:

Sorry to hear that

Thank you, k.

babynoz said:

We just buried a family member yesterday. He was only 46. I used to babysit him when he was born. That made saying goodbye ever harder.

Sorry for your loss, babynoz.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Ace.

I wasn't really close to her, but my cousin died suddenly in December of 2016. She was just 29 years old and died of a rare form of encephalitis following a mild case of the flu. She went to the emergency room for a bad headache, but they just sent her home with meds for the pain (since they couldn't find anything wrong). She went home, laid down on her couch, fell asleep and never woke up.

My aunt and uncle were devastated (only slightly less so now). She was their only child, adopted when they were 40 and had given up hope of ever being parents.

The pain will never go away completely, but I hope that it softens - and you are able to find solace in happier memories.

Genesia said:

I'm so sorry for your loss, Ace.

I wasn't really close to her, but my cousin died suddenly in December of 2016. She was just 29 years old and died of a rare form of encephalitis following a mild case of the flu. She went to the emergency room for a bad headache, but they just sent her home with meds for the pain (since they couldn't find anything wrong). She went home, laid down on her couch, fell asleep and never woke up.

My aunt and uncle were devastated (only slightly less so now). She was their only child, adopted when they were 40 and had given up hope of ever being parents.

The pain will never go away completely, but I hope that it softens - and you are able to find solace in happier memories.

Thank you so much, Genesia. Good to see your avvie.

Ace said:

Genesia said:

I'm so sorry for your loss, Ace.

I wasn't really close to her, but my cousin died suddenly in December of 2016. She was just 29 years old and died of a rare form of encephalitis following a mild case of the flu. She went to the emergency room for a bad headache, but they just sent her home with meds for the pain (since they couldn't find anything wrong). She went home, laid down on her couch, fell asleep and never woke up.

My aunt and uncle were devastated (only slightly less so now). She was their only child, adopted when they were 40 and had given up hope of ever being parents.

The pain will never go away completely, but I hope that it softens - and you are able to find solace in happier memories.

Thank you so much, Genesia. Good to see your avvie.

Take care of yourself, love. I recommend lots of classic films.

Ace said:

She was only 45. It's hitting me fucking hard. Helps to talk about it.

Have any of you guys ever lost someone near-and-dear to you without warning?

I haven't but i know that it can happen at any time, none of us is promised tomorrow, sounds corny but it's too easy to forget.

Genesia said:

Ace said:

Thank you so much, Genesia. Good to see your avvie.

Take care of yourself, love. I recommend lots of classic films.

PeteSilas said:

Ace said:

She was only 45. It's hitting me fucking hard. Helps to talk about it.

Have any of you guys ever lost someone near-and-dear to you without warning?

I haven't but i know that it can happen at any time, none of us is promised tomorrow, sounds corny but it's too easy to forget.

Absolutely.

Hug those loved ones, folks. Don't have any regrets.

PeteSilas said:

Ace said:

She was only 45. It's hitting me fucking hard. Helps to talk about it.

Have any of you guys ever lost someone near-and-dear to you without warning?

I haven't but i know that it can happen at any time, none of us is promised tomorrow, sounds corny but it's too easy to forget.

P.S. Your signature.

If you knew where she is, you might not be so sad.

Those of us left here on earth are the ones still tryna get there.

TheTruth123 said:

If you knew where she is, you might not be so sad.

I can't say I necessarily believe in that sort of thing, 'Truth', but I'd like to.

Ace said:

TheTruth123 said:

Ace said:

I can't say I necessarily believe in that sort of thing, 'Truth', but I'd like to.

It’s ultimate love.

Are you saying that there's something else? Maybe a world of never-ending happiness? Where you can always see the sun (day or night)?

Ace said:

TheTruth123 said:

Ace said: It’s ultimate love.

Are you saying that there's something else? Maybe a world of never-ending happiness? Where you can always see the sun (day or night)?

I believe, and i feel sorry for folks who don't. Especially in my age bracket, I know a man who seems burnt out and done, i mentioned something spritual, i think it was ghosts or something in the spooky place we were, he said "there is not afterlife, only black". to me that just tells me about his frame of mind now, not in the future, i feel for him. Lots of older people get like that and I certainly understand.

Ace said:

PeteSilas said:

Ace said:

Are you saying that there's something else? Maybe a world of never-ending happiness? Where you can always see the sun (day or night)?

I believe, and i feel sorry for folks who don't. Especially in my age bracket, I know a man who seems burnt out and done, i mentioned something spritual, i think it was ghosts or something in the spooky place we were, he said "there is not afterlife, only black". to me that just tells me about his frame of mind now, not in the future, i feel for him. Lots of older people get like that and I certainly understand.

I don't proclaim to know anything about "what happens after we die". I'm an agnostic.

But I have no reason to believe that there's any kind of "afterlife", in the way, say, religions describe one.

But, whatevs.

I'm grieving heavily now because I just lost one of best friends. But my feelings on the matter aren't shaped by any kind of negative view of my life. You generally won't meet a happier person than myself.

It took a while to get me here, but - by practicing gratitude and making other life adjustments - I've been in an eminently happy place for many years now (and I see no change on the horizon).

And I'm gonna take my time
Don't fight that good shit in your ear
Now let me blow ya mind

NorthC said:

Ace said:

She was only 45. It's hitting me fucking hard. Helps to talk about it.

Have any of you guys ever lost someone near-and-dear to you without warning?

Oh yes, I have. My wife died and she was younger than that. First you don't believe it, but that doesn't last long. Then comes grief and that feels good in a way. Let the tears come, it helps. And then you learn to live with it even though at first, there's times when you think, hey, I don't feel sad right now, is that okay? It feels like betrayal at the person you lost, but that's also part of the process. Eventually life will go on and you will always remember this person. And there will be times when you think back and feel a little sad again (for instance when writing something like this), but that's okay too. It means you cared for and loved this person.

Thank you so much, North. And I"m sorry to hear that about your wife.

I'd be surprised if I'm completely out of the tears stage at this point.

Be well.

i don't know anything either but i don't trust certain kinds of peoples, one are people who don't like cats or children, the other is the kind who do not have any faith in anything beyond themselves, i just cannot trust those kinds and like this man, I feel for him because the way he said it sounded like a way that expressed what he was living currently, and that's sad.

Ace said:

PeteSilas said:

I believe, and i feel sorry for folks who don't. Especially in my age bracket, I know a man who seems burnt out and done, i mentioned something spritual, i think it was ghosts or something in the spooky place we were, he said "there is not afterlife, only black". to me that just tells me about his frame of mind now, not in the future, i feel for him. Lots of older people get like that and I certainly understand.

I don't proclaim to know anything about "what happens after we die". I'm an agnostic.

But I have no reason to believe that there's any kind of "afterlife", in the way, say, religions describe one.

But, whatevs.

I'm grieving heavily now because I just lost one of best friends. But my feelings on the matter aren't shaped by any kind of negative view of my life. You generally won't meet a happier person than myself.

It took a while to get me here, but - by practicing gratitude and making other life adjustments - I've been in an eminently happy place for many years now (and I see no change on the horizon).

And I'm gonna take my time
Don't fight that good shit in your ear
Now let me blow ya mind

Ace said:

My condolences, Ace.

TheTruth123 said:

Ace said:

Are you saying that there's something else? Maybe a world of never-ending happiness? Where you can always see the sun (day or night)?

There sure is. I am unclear as to whether that description is accurate but I do know that God is there.

"Isn't it pretty to think so?"

Lammastide said:

My condolences, Ace.

Lammastide! orgNoting you...

I lost a boyfriend at 18 and I remember the grief came in waves, like the ocean. I never thought I would get over it, but slowly healed. You are doing the right thing by reaching out and talking about it.

Your friend was young and it seemed so unexpected which adds to the pain.

I just listened to Sheryl Sandburg talk with Oprah about her husband's unexpected death. It was very moving (The Supersoul series). Books written by those who have experienced this, also help me.

peggyon said:

I lost a boyfriend at 18 and I remember the grief came in waves, like the ocean. I never thought I would get over it, but slowly healed. You are doing the right thing by reaching out and talking about it.

Your friend was young and it seemed so unexpected which adds to the pain.

I just listened to Sheryl Sandburg talk with Oprah about her husband's unexpected death. It was very moving (The Supersoul series). Books written by those who have experienced this, also help me.

Thank you so much, peggy.

Yes, it helps to talk.

And thank you for the recommendations of the Sheryl Sandberg interview and the reminder that there are books out there written by those who have experienced a similar loss.

Ace said:

peggyon said:

I lost a boyfriend at 18 and I remember the grief came in waves, like the ocean. I never thought I would get over it, but slowly healed. You are doing the right thing by reaching out and talking about it.

Your friend was young and it seemed so unexpected which adds to the pain.

I just listened to Sheryl Sandburg talk with Oprah about her husband's unexpected death. It was very moving (The Supersoul series). Books written by those who have experienced this, also help me.

Thank you so much, peggy.

Yes, it helps to talk.

And thank you for the recommendations of the Sheryl Sandberg interview and the reminder that there are books out there written by those who have experienced a similar loss.

Take care

peggyon said:

peggyon said:

I lost a boyfriend at 18 and I remember the grief came in waves, like the ocean. I never thought I would get over it, but slowly healed. You are doing the right thing by reaching out and talking about it.

Your friend was young and it seemed so unexpected which adds to the pain.

I just listened to Sheryl Sandburg talk with Oprah about her husband's unexpected death. It was very moving (The Supersoul series). Books written by those who have experienced this, also help me.

I lost a friend when he was 24 in a car accident... He always thought his leukemia would get him...