There are two guys sitting by a lake one day,

fishing and enjoying the warm summer sun.

A canoeist is passing by, when his canoe suddenly sinks and

he disappears under the water and doesn't re-surface.

After about 10 minutes,

the first angler asks the second one if he saw what happened.

He said, yes he had.

The first angler says,

"Don't you think we ought to look for him?"

The second angler agrees so they go into the water with their waders and,

after searching for a while, drag out a lifeless body.

The first angler says,

"Go on then, do something, give him the kiss of life!"

So the second angler kneels down and opens the mouth of the victim.

He pulls away in disgust,

"Urrghh! I'm not breathing into that! God, his breath smells revolting!"

The first angler says, "Don't be so sensitive, this is a life or death situation, you know!"

and he kneels down, but he's also beaten back by the bad breath.

A third fisherman, who has been watching with interest from nearby says,

"I think you idiots have got the wrong guy!"

The anglers ask, "What makes you think that?"

"Because that one's still got his ice skates on!"
Why do people with bad breath always want to tell me secrets?
I was telling my friend that the previous night I'd been in a bar and offered a woman some chewing gum and warned her about her bad breath, and one minute later she'd slapped me across the face.

My friend asked, "Why one minute later?"

I said, "That's how far away she was."

My friend's breath is so bad, his dentist will only treat him over the phone.

You know you've got bad breath when you shout at your dog and he tries chewing it.

Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
He had bat breath.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
But an onion a day keeps everyone away.

Why do redheads have bad breath?
Ginger-vitis.

I don't know about the jokes but your profile picture is like one of those old Jesus pictures where the eyes follow you around the room.

It's kinda freakin me out...

S2DG said:

I don't know about the jokes but your profile picture is like one of those old Jesus pictures where the eyes follow you around the room.

It's kinda freakin me out...

i'm KingBAD…

the one thing jeezis can't say that i can

is a million mufukkkas wanna be in my shoes....

S2DG said:

I don't know about the jokes but your profile picture is like one of those old Jesus pictures where the eyes follow you around the room.

It's kinda freakin me out...

how bout this???

Not sure about your shoes but I wouldn't mind trying on this WW II gladiator helmet...

Your eyes in this one are staring through me a little less...

Thank you KingBad?

What makes you bad, the jokes?



Just playin'

WHY DID THE NARCISSIST CROSS THE ROAD?

he thought it was a boundary.

I was telling my friend that the previous night I'd been in a bar and offered a woman some chewing gum and warned her about her bad breath, and one minute later she'd slapped me across the face.

My friend asked, "Why one minute later?"

I said, "That's how far away she was."

BADD!!!

S2DG said:

Not sure about your shoes but I wouldn't mind trying on this WW II gladiator helmet...

Your eyes in this one are staring through me a little less...

Thank you KingBad?

What makes you bad, the jokes?



Just playin'

"Welcome to "the org", U see, it ain't no joke, it's a natural fact, all-right..."

HuMpThAnG said:

I was telling my friend that the previous night I'd been in a bar and offered a woman some chewing gum and warned her about her bad breath, and one minute later she'd slapped me across the face.

My friend asked, "Why one minute later?"

I said, "That's how far away she was."

BADD!!!

Max: What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Nick: Beats me.
Max: Something catchy!

Matt: What do you get when you cross a fishing lure with a gym sock?
Rick: I don’t know. What?
Matt: A hook, line and stinker!

Daffynition: Fishing dock—A surgeon on vacation.

Little Eddy and his mom were digging for fishing bait in the garden. Uncovering a many-legged creature, Eddy proudly dangled it before his mom.

“No, honey, it won’t do for bait,” she said. “It’s not an earthworm.”

“It’s not?” Eddy asked, his eyes wide. “What planet is it from?”

Superboy: Why did Batman and Robin quit going fishing together?
Superman: Why?
Superboy: Because Robin ate all the worms!

Jack: Why didn’t Noah do much fishing on the ark?
Jill: Search me. Why?
Jack: He had only two worms.

Game warden: Didn’t you see the no-fishing sign, son?
Boy: I’m not fishing, sir. I’m teaching these worms how to swim!

Alex: What do you call a fish that won’t shut up?
Danielle: I’m stumped.
Alex: A big-mouthed bass!

Tom Swiftie: “Pass me the shellfish,” Tom said crabbily.

A book never written: “How to Fish” by Will Ketchum.

Ben: Where do goldfish go on vacation?
Bob: Where?
Ben: Around the globe!

Aaron: How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
Pee Wee: I don’t know. How?
Aaron: By golf carp!

Jaylun: Why do fish swim in schools?
Ray: I don’t know.
Jaylun: Because they can’t walk!

Allen: Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
Neal: I don’t know. Why?
Allen: Because they have their own scales!

Mark: Where do fish keep their money?
Kevin: Where?
Mark: In a riverbank.

Thomas: How do you communicate with a fish?
Russ: I don’t know.
Thomas: Drop it a line!

XxAxX said:

Max: What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Nick: Beats me.
Max: Something catchy!

---

Matt: What do you get when you cross a fishing lure with a gym sock?
Rick: I don’t know. What?
Matt: A hook, line and stinker!

---

Daffynition: Fishing dock—A surgeon on vacation.

---

Little Eddy and his mom were digging for fishing bait in the garden. Uncovering a many-legged creature, Eddy proudly dangled it before his mom.

“No, honey, it won’t do for bait,” she said. “It’s not an earthworm.”

“It’s not?” Eddy asked, his eyes wide. “What planet is it from?”

---

Superboy: Why did Batman and Robin quit going fishing together?
Superman: Why?
Superboy: Because Robin ate all the worms!

---

Jack: Why didn’t Noah do much fishing on the ark?
Jill: Search me. Why?
Jack: He had only two worms.

---

Game warden: Didn’t you see the no-fishing sign, son?
Boy: I’m not fishing, sir. I’m teaching these worms how to swim!

---

Alex: What do you call a fish that won’t shut up?
Danielle: I’m stumped.
Alex: A big-mouthed bass!

---

Tom Swiftie: “Pass me the shellfish,” Tom said crabbily.

---

A book never written: “How to Fish” by Will Ketchum.

---

Ben: Where do goldfish go on vacation?
Bob: Where?
Ben: Around the globe!

---

Aaron: How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
Pee Wee: I don’t know. How?
Aaron: By golf carp!

---

Jaylun: Why do fish swim in schools?
Ray: I don’t know.
Jaylun: Because they can’t walk!

---

Allen: Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
Neal: I don’t know. Why?
Allen: Because they have their own scales!

---

Mark: Where do fish keep their money?
Kevin: Where?
Mark: In a riverbank.

---

Thomas: How do you communicate with a fish?
Russ: I don’t know.
Thomas: Drop it a line!