i can't think of an event that would prevent me from leaving someone if i wanted out

MoBettaBliss said:

ThisOne said:

MoBettaBliss said:

i can't think of an event that would prevent me from leaving someone if i wanted out

What if you were both part of a bridal party and you didn’t want to spoil it for your friends?

does the break-up have to be nasty?

their wedding is about them... surely you and this guy can just be cool for the event, even if you've split up... or is he a total dick?

MoBettaBliss said:

Go to the wedding. Have a great time.

This is not your day but that of the Groom and Bride, be happy for them. Your pissed off feelings or grumpiness is going to show. Guests will notice, don't make the day about you.

After you go home pack your shit in plastic bags or whatever and leave. Break up. Have the bad news after you get home.

ThisOne said:

MoBettaBliss said:

does the break-up have to be nasty?

their wedding is about them... surely you and this guy can just be cool for the event, even if you've split up... or is he a total dick?

From experience it is difficult to tell how badly some people would take it! You think you know a person until u tell them it’s over - and I just like to keep the peace so I’m stuck

when is the wedding?

luv4u said:

EmmaMcG said:

ThisOne said:

MoBettaBliss said:

EmmaMcG said:

ThisOne said:

ThisOne said:

luv4u said:

Go to the wedding. Have a great time.

This is not your day but that of the Groom and Bride, be happy for them. Your pissed off feelings or grumpiness is going to show. Guests will notice, don't make the day about you.

After you go home pack your shit in plastic bags or whatever and leave. Break up. Have the bad news after you get home.

I’m in the bridal party - we both are and of course I’m going to have a fantastic time and no one will ever see what I feel! As for the plastic bag well lolz I’m the home owner here

Both of you do your bridal party thing. After that go home break up with them and kick them out.

ThisOne said:

MoBettaBliss said:

when is the wedding?

Next month

screw that... pull the bandaid off... hopefully it will have settled by the wedding

you don't need to be with someone you don't want to.. not for a month... that's horrible

if your friends are real friends they'll be cool

i'd hate the thought of someone staying with a partner they weren't into because of my wedding

just tell your friends and then they should have a talk to him and tell him to be cool at the wedding... they're obviously close with him if he's in the bridal party

you don't have to put up with this... honestly... treat yourself better than that... it's not selfish... it's your life ffs

Why fake it? If you wanna leave, you leave. Going to this party and pretending everyting in your relationship is ok, with knowing its not, sounds pretty manipulative to your partner.

There doesn't have to be any drama at the wedding, just go alone, or say you split up but dont want to talk about it because its their wedding and you just wanna have some fun. No need to make it a big thing, unless you make it a big thing.

What I am reading is that you are going to stay in a shitty relationship for your friends. That would piss me off if I were to ever find out that one of my friends stayed in a relationship for that reason. If they are your friends, they don't want you to be in a relationship that makes you unhappy. Repeat that so it sinks in.

In case it wasn't clear, I am also in the break up now camp. Hell, the upside is the wedding. Single at a wedding reception? Yes, please .

OMG how do you get into these messes!!!

PliablyPurple said:

MoBettaBliss said:

ThisOne said:

MoBettaBliss said: Next month

screw that... pull the bandaid off... hopefully it will have settled by the wedding

you don't need to be with someone you don't want to.. not for a month... that's horrible

if your friends are real friends they'll be cool

i'd hate the thought of someone staying with a partner they weren't into because of my wedding

just tell your friends and then they should have a talk to him and tell him to be cool at the wedding... they're obviously close with him if he's in the bridal party

you don't have to put up with this... honestly... treat yourself better than that... it's not selfish... it's your life ffs

PurpleJedi said:

ThisOne said:

Ppl pleazzzzz relax already!!! There's only about 3 weeks now ! I'm coping fine.... mainly because the intimacy is practically gone and so too has the spark so I'm not really putting myself through any uncomfortable situations - it's cool!!! The bride is a good friend of mine and I'm happy to focas on her - all the Pre wedding activities are fun and everyone is enjoying the experience so I know waiting isn't going to kill me!!!

ummm

you realise in your op you said

ThisOne said:

I’m just waiting and it’s killing me

so you kinda made it sound like it was a big deal.... then when people offer advice you say "chill out, it's no big deal"

MoBettaBliss said:

And I thougght this thread was about having booked a flight for a vacation together and now you realize your partner is an idiot and you want to break up.

NorthC said:

I once did a safari with a girl and realized she wasn't the one. But when you're travelling through the African wilderness, you don't just say bye bye and leave.