This is it, so let's watch the best movies we can. Everybody go watch "Animal House"!

Now - I've seen "Animal House" 5,295 times so you already know how I rate it. How about a new feature? How about...

...I Will Rate The Last Movie I Watched Which I've Seen Two Other Times Under Different Names! Or "RTLMIWWISTOTUDN"!

First, I saw "Groundhog Day". Bill Murray had to re-live the same day over and over again until he got into Sigourney Weaver's pants.

Next, I saw "Next" in which Nicolas Cage could see a few seconds into the future, so he could re-create whatever secenario(s) he wanted.

Yesterday, I saw "Edge of Tomorrow" which I thought was a soap opera but was actually Tom Cruise's attempt to combine "Groundhog Day" and "Next" into a sci-fi thriller.

I was clicking around various college football games. In case you didn't know, the week of Thanksgiving is Rivalry Week. Everyone plays their biggest rival. Ole Miss plays Mississippi State (I'll be there!); Alabama plays Auburn; Texas used to play Texas A&M before UT got too greedy and destroyed everything; and so on. However, this was the week BEFORE Thanksgiving.

It's called "Pushover Week". Mainly, schools play pushovers in order to get tuned up for Rivalry Week. Therefore, there wasn't a lot of good college football on TV and when I saw a movie called "Edge of Tomorrow" I wondered - who would make a movie about a soap opera?

The description, however, said Tom Cruise was trying to live the same day over and over again in order to kill some aliens. Hmmm, let's review:

1. Time travel movies always suck (except "Next", which is the only good time travel movie ever made); but
2. The football games currently on also sucked; therefore
3. I chose to give Tom Cruise the chance to see if he sucked as much as THE Ohio State was currently sucking.

Pretty much! But THE Ohio State came back to win and although Cruise won in the movie, the movie itself isn't that great of a winner.

Tom Cruise is in the US Army but for some reason was fighting at various British battle fields famous in WWII (Dunkirk, Verdun ,etc.). At least, he was when I tuned in about 15 minutes into it. It turns out Cruise gets killed but in the process some alien blood gets spilled on him. This gives him the ability to "restart" the day of his death over and over.

He does what we'd all do - he goes to Las Vegas, gets rich, and lives out the war with hookers and blow.

That would be a completely different movie, wouldn't it? And perhaps a movie that we have all seen a lot more than two other times. LOLOLOLOLOL!

(NOTE: That's not what I would do. I just assume that's what you would do. I, of course, would have saved the world before heading to Las Vegas.)

Back to the real story. Cruise meets Emily Blunt, who is a bada** British officer who likes to do push-ups underneath some whirly-bird training devices. As wikipedia has informed me, he met her during one of the many times he was killed via getting drenched with alien blood, and she knows what affect it has on people. So she says, "Hey - before you get killed the next time, come find me and we'll figure out how to beat these slimey villians".

And Cruise does exactly that. Blunt, Cruise, and some mad scientist begin living the day over and over and over and over, getting a little farther each time before Cruise gets slimed to death.

Eventually Cruise and Blunt make it to London, where there's a device that should kill the aliens. But oh no! Cruise and Blunt have a car accident and in order to save Cruise, the hospital gives him a blood transfusion. With no more alien slime in his bloodstream, Cruise can no longer restart the day. This means that they better win or else. Maximum bummer!

SPOILER ALERT - They win. More or less. Emily Blunt kills herself in order to create a diversion for Cruise to feed some grenades to the Master Alien. Cruise drowns but upon his drowning, he gets slimed again. And...

...restarts the day again! The movie ends with Cruise meeting Blunt as he did originally. She doesn't know who he is, so he laughs. Fin.

"Edge of Tomorrow" is not the worst thing ever made. But if you've seen "Groundhog Day" and/or "Next", then you've already seen a better version of this movie.

The rating for this movie is 2 Yesterdays out of 5 Yesterdays.

.

[Edited 11/18/18 16:56pm]

RodeoSchro said:

EmmaMcG said:

RodeoSchro said:

Now - I've seen "Animal House" 5,295 times so you already know how I rate it. How about a new feature? How about...

...I Will Rate The Last Movie I Watched Which I've Seen Two Other Times Under Different Names! Or "RTLMIWWISTOTUDN"!

First, I saw "Groundhog Day". Bill Murray had to re-live the same day over and over again until he got into Sigourney Weaver's pants.

Next, I saw "Next" in which Nicolas Cage could see a few seconds into the future, so he could re-create whatever secenario(s) he wanted.

Yesterday, I saw "Edge of Tomorrow" which I thought was a soap opera but was actually Tom Cruise's attempt to combine "Groundhog Day" and "Next" into a sci-fi thriller.

I was clicking around various college football games. In case you didn't know, the week of Thanksgiving is Rivalry Week. Everyone plays their biggest rival. Ole Miss plays Mississippi State (I'll be there!); Alabama plays Auburn; Texas used to play Texas A&M before UT got too greedy and destroyed everything; and so on. However, this was the week BEFORE Thanksgiving.

It's called "Pushover Week". Mainly, schools play pushovers in order to get tuned up for Rivalry Week. Therefore, there wasn't a lot of good college football on TV and when I saw a movie called "Edge of Tomorrow" I wondered - who would make a movie about a soap opera?

The description, however, said Tom Cruise was trying to live the same day over and over again in order to kill some aliens. Hmmm, let's review:

1. Time travel movies always suck (except "Next", which is the only good time travel movie ever made); but
2. The football games currently on also sucked; therefore
3. I chose to give Tom Cruise the chance to see if he sucked as much as THE Ohio State was currently sucking.

Pretty much! But THE Ohio State came back to win and although Cruise won in the movie, the movie itself isn't that great of a winner.

Tom Cruise is in the US Army but for some reason was fighting at various British battle fields famous in WWII (Dunkirk, Verdun ,etc.). At least, he was when I tuned in about 15 minutes into it. It turns out Cruise gets killed but in the process some alien blood gets spilled on him. This gives him the ability to "restart" the day of his death over and over.

He does what we'd all do - he goes to Las Vegas, gets rich, and lives out the war with hookers and blow.

That would be a completely different movie, wouldn't it? And perhaps a movie that we have all seen a lot more than two other times. LOLOLOLOLOL!

(NOTE: That's not what I would do. I just assume that's what you would do. I, of course, would have saved the world before heading to Las Vegas.)

Back to the real story. Cruise meets Emily Blunt, who is a bada** British officer who likes to do push-ups underneath some whirly-bird training devices. As wikipedia has informed me, he met her during one of the many times he was killed via getting drenched with alien blood, and she knows what affect it has on people. So she says, "Hey - before you get killed the next time, come find me and we'll figure out how to beat these slimey villians".

And Cruise does exactly that. Blunt, Cruise, and some mad scientist begin living the day over and over and over and over, getting a little farther each time before Cruise gets slimed to death.

Eventually Cruise and Blunt make it to London, where there's a device that should kill the aliens. But oh no! Cruise and Blunt have a car accident and in order to save Cruise, the hospital gives him a blood transfusion. With no more alien slime in his bloodstream, Cruise can no longer restart the day. This means that they better win or else. Maximum bummer!

SPOILER ALERT - They win. More or less. Emily Blunt kills herself in order to create a diversion for Cruise to feed some grenades to the Master Alien. Cruise drowns but upon his drowning, he gets slimed again. And...

...restarts the day again! The movie ends with Cruise meeting Blunt as he did originally. She doesn't know who he is, so he laughs. Fin.

"Edge of Tomorrow" is not the worst thing ever made. But if you've seen "Groundhog Day" and/or "Next", then you've already seen a better version of this movie.

The rating for this movie is 2 Yesterdays out of 5 Yesterdays.

.

[Edited 11/18/18 16:56pm]

You need to watch Groundhog Day again. Sigourney Weaver isn't in it.

LOL, you're right. It was Andie McDowell.

Widows 2018 3.5/5 a very taught, workmanlike heist film. there's a lot to enjoy in it, but it felt a touch too chilly & distant to me, leaving me feeling a bit removed, even disconnected by the end. i think it would have worked a bit better if if this had been just a little shorter. (i think every movie should be shorter, but i really, really think this one ought to have been shorter). the tension seemed to deflate rather than ratchet up towards the end.

Hearts Beat Loud 2018 1/5 there wasn't a moment of it that didn't feel fake & false & (above all) pandering. hated every minute of it. had to watch it in three separate sessions, i found it so painfrully grating. i wouldn't have bothered finishing if i hadn't felt like i'd waste the credit on kanopy. i also hated the pandering references to sleater kinney & animal collective, as if this movie was so desperate to show how cool it is. my least favourite film i've seen released from this year.

Skate Kitchen 2018 3.5/5 lonely teenaged girl befriends a group of girl skateboarders. some of the scenes, particularly the boarding moments, are great & hypnotic in ways that remind me of more spectral moments in the rider or beach rats or something like that, but those scenes are undercut by less special love triangle & mother-daughter conflicts. pretty good, but could have been great. if they'd just let them hang out & skateboard, you'd have had something magical, i bet.

[Edited 11/19/18 5:24am]

i'm starting another one in 3 weeks

MoBettaBliss said:

i'm starting another one in 3 weeks

If it centers around "Animal House", "Stripes", "Caddyshack", and "This is Spinal Tap" then I'm all for it!

Rosemary's Baby (1968) - A young couple moves in to an apartment only to be surrounded by peculiar neighbors and occurrences. When the wife becomes mysteriously pregnant, paranoia over the safety of her unborn child begins to control her life.

I saw this for the first time only after it made an appearance on Mad Men a few years ago--which was the push I needed to finally schedule a viewing. Like many of my favorite horror films, I like that it's more creepy than scary. 4.5/5

A Quiet Place (2018)

A taut, sci-fi/horror/thriller with heart. One of the better movies of the year.

.5

Film Stars Don't Die in Liverpool (2017) A film about the final years of Oscar winner (Best Supporting Actress for The Bad & the Beautiful (1952) Gloria Grahame, and her romance with a young actor from Liverpool. I think the performance by Annette Benning as Gloria was great, in fact she based the character she played in The Grifters (1990) on one of Gloria's film, The Big Heat (1955). I give this a 4 out of 5 because I found the film to be sweet, and yet very touching which made me want to watch some of the films again that made Gloria such an amazing actress eg. The Greatest Show On Earth (1952), Oklahoma (1955) Its A Wonderful Life (1946) and In A Lonley Place (1950).

a fantastic woman (2017) 3.5/5

found myself oscillating between sympathy & contempt, which is just like real life, i suppose. it has some very nice moments of weirdness & surprise & sympathy, others that puzzle or annoy or just fizzle out rather aimlessly.

i would have chosen loveless or on body & soul over this for the best foreign language oscar, not that anyone's canvassing my opinion.

the ballad of buster scruggs (2018) 4/5 the coen bros new netflix movie contains six short westerns. i liked all of them save one, & loved three of them. tom waits' performance in 'all gold canyon' is a real highlight. overall, it's great stuff, though i did find the last story was a bit of a comedown after the previous two, which were so great, ending things on a slightly uncertain note.

the ballad of buster scruggs 9/10
near algodonoes 7/10
meal ticket 5/10 (the only one i really didn't care for)
all gold canyon 10/10
the gal who got rattled 10/10
the mortal remains 7/10

[Edited 11/20/18 18:58pm]

I watched a movie that is 1:34:02 minutes long. It took me 1:50:00 to see it...because I watched it on Daily Motion. Ugh.

Back in the good old days, Daily Motion was the place to go to see the stuff the Web Sheriff got cleansed off YouTube. Nowadays it appears Daily Motion is the place to go to watch movies that have commerical breaks every 5 minutes.

But what commercial breaks they are!

Commericals made in 1988 is what they are. They're so bad! Even the newest commericial, "Train's Greatest Hits", looks 30 years old. Daily Motion still has a guy selling Macintoshes. Probably using ARPANET. This stuff is old.

Another commerical on heavy rotation was "Why Get A Collaborative Divorce". I saw that one 15 times. Hmmm, are they trying to tell me something?

Maybe, maybe not but I can tell you who WAS trying to tell me something. It was Rowdy Roddy Piper and what he was trying to tell me was that "They Live".

Yes, I finally watched this classic! Well, it has a classic fight scene, which I'm sure we've all seen so I'm not going to dwell on that. Except to say that thank GOD the movie was timed so that there was only one commercial break in the fight scene. That's good because it didn't seem right watching a commercial about teens who died because they didn't wear their seat belts whilst two dudes were pummelling each other.

The plot of "They Live" is that Rowdy Roddy Piper is homeless, meets a friend, gets a job, lives in a homeless encampment that is the secret base for alien-fighters, which is necessary because aliens are in disguise and are taking over the world. These aliens look just like humans unless you put on special sunglasses. Then you can see how ugly they really are.

Piper finds some special sunglasses after the cops destroy the homeless encampment. Every time I saw the cops moving in their silent line of death, I was reminded of my favorite cops of all time. These guys:



I think all people should say "hut hut hut hut" when doing anything. I think hut-hutting is so cool that when our daughter was a baby, we called her Baby Hut-Hut. Hut-hutting is a big part of my life.

These cops do not hut-hut.

I won't go too far with this review, mainly because I'm in the backseat of our Tahoe as we drive to Mississippi and being clever while getting bounced all over the road is hard. I should get a Peabody Award for being able to find and post that hut-hut clip.

"They Live" is a decent sci-fi movie. It reminded me of the stuff I watched in the '60's, and I mean that in the good way. It's inspired me to watch - per damosuzuki's recommendation - the original "Invasion of the Body Snatchers".

Just not on Daily Motion, that's for sure.

"They Live" gets 9 1/2 Cologuard Colon Screening Commericals out of the 13 Cologuard Colon Screening Commercials I had to sit through. How did Daily Motion know I'm three months from my 60th birthday?!?

.

[Edited 11/21/18 9:50am]

I went to see Fantastic Beasts; Crimes of Grindelwald.





Too many sub-stories and character development plots.

It was ok.

Magnolia (1999)

damosuzuki said:

Ugot2shakesumthin said:

damosuzuki said:

Widows 2018 3.5/5 a very taught, workmanlike heist film. there's a lot to enjoy in it, but it felt a touch too chilly & distant to me, leaving me feeling a bit removed, even disconnected by the end. i think it would have worked a bit better if if this had been just a little shorter. (i think every movie should be shorter, but i really, really think this one ought to have been shorter). the tension seemed to deflate rather than ratchet up towards the end.

Hearts Beat Loud 2018 1/5 there wasn't a moment of it that didn't feel fake & false & (above all) pandering. hated every minute of it. had to watch it in three separate sessions, i found it so painfrully grating. i wouldn't have bothered finishing if i hadn't felt like i'd waste the credit on kanopy. i also hated the pandering references to sleater kinney & animal collective, as if this movie was so desperate to show how cool it is. my least favourite film i've seen released from this year.

Skate Kitchen 2018 3.5/5 lonely teenaged girl befriends a group of girl skateboarders. some of the scenes, particularly the boarding moments, are great & hypnotic in ways that remind me of more spectral moments in the rider or beach rats or something like that, but those scenes are undercut by less special love triangle & mother-daughter conflicts. pretty good, but could have been great. if they'd just let them hang out & skateboard, you'd have had something magical, i bet.

[Edited 11/19/18 5:24am]

I really wanted to like widows and kept hoping it got better, but as it went along it got worse. Perhaps it was to “high concept” of a premise, or not fleshed out enough, but overall the more I think about it the more I dislike it. I have a hard time pinpointing exactly where it went wrong, but I think it boils down to the basic premise.

i've actually found myself liking it less in retrospect as well, funnily enough. personally, i don't really find anything too appealing in heist or caper films, & wouldn't have seen this one if it didn't have the pedigree & reviews that it did. i think if you took out the fairly run of the mill caper stuff, and gave us a movie with 45 more minutes of colin farrell & his organization running against a morally corrupted opponent, you might have an interesting and fun & engrossing movie, to me at least.

upgrade (2018) 3.5/5 surprisingly enjoyable low-budget sci-fi. good snappy fun, has some nice pk dick overtones, never dawdles & contains some pretty exciting action moments. unlike almost every film i see, i'd be happy if this got a billion sequels. i want to see more of this world.

Boomerang (1992)

Thanksgiving Eve tradition. My favorite Eddie Murphy movie, the comedy and fashion hold up well.

.5

When Harry Met Sally (1989)

Thanksgiving morning tradition. The best Woody Allen film Woody Allen didn't make.

namepeace said:

Boomerang (1992)

Thanksgiving Eve tradition. My favorite Eddie Murphy movie, the comedy and fashion hold up well.

.5

with a killer soundtrack Give U My Heart (1992) by Babyface featuring Toni Braxton

Goddess4Real said:

namepeace said:

Boomerang (1992)

Thanksgiving Eve tradition. My favorite Eddie Murphy movie, the comedy and fashion hold up well.

.5

with a killer soundtrack Give U My Heart (1992) by Babyface featuring Toni Braxton

Indeed, great score too.

suspiria (2018) 2.5/5 i actually saw this about 3 weeks ago, but i'd done a lot of running & walking before seeing it & was pretty tired, even zoned out. i felt like the film just glanced off of me, like i skipped off of its atmosphere. my impressions were mainly negative, but i decided to give it another try yesterday morning. i still feel pretty nonplussed by the whole thing. my main complaint, & i'm a broken record on this, is that it was way way way too long. it's a very moody, slow, even langurious piece of work, & i found it impossible to stay engaged for 150 minutes of this stuff. for large patches, i was checked out & really indifferent to anything that was happening. there are some great set-pieces here & a perfectly insane ending, & i'm glad i saw those things on a big screen, but overall i was bored & indifferent to this. i liked it less on a second viewing, & i like it less the more i think about it. a genuine disappointment to me.

lean on pete (2018) 4/5 a top tier male weepie. has at least two moments that shocked me, but not in a manipulative way, & there was not a single moment that felt fake or false.

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

Ours was awesome - we drove to Oxford, MS for the Egg Bowl. Yes, Ole Miss got their tails kicked by those dastardly, cowbell-ringing farmers from Mississippi State but you know what? We got to stay in Oxford, while they had to go back to Starkville.

Oof!

Of course, it's a 10-hour drive from Houston to Oxford. Or 12 hours if I do most of the driving, which I didn't, so I got to do a lot of passengering and watched some movies. Here is the first review.

I HATE NETFLIX.

This is actually more appropriate to the second review, but honestly Netflix sucks so much that any and every review could easily have a reference or ten to how much Netflix sucks. To be clear, Netflix sucks A LOT.

However, in this one case Netflix had exactly what we wanted to watch. That's because it was a movie made just for Netflix - The Ballad of Buster Scruggs.

Netflix needs to stick to Hitler documentaries and lame '80's comedies.

Don't get me wrong - there was some good stuff in this movie. In case you don't know, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs is six short vignettes about The Old West, made by the Coen Brothers(TM) who, I've heard, made some good movies once or twice. In case you also didn't know, I have read every single Louis L'Amour western novel, which makes me an authority on The Old West. So we will just see how accurate these Coen Brothers(TM) depict The Old West!

VIGNETTE THE FIRST - "The Ballad of Buster Scruggs". This was awesome! And hilarious! It should have been the whole movie! If you're enough of a sucker to pay for Netflix - like, unfortunately, I am - do yourself a favor and watch this vignette. You will laugh your tail off, I promise. Tim Blake Nelson is pitch-perfect as singing, gambling, and gun-toting Buster Scruggs. I won't give away anything else. This is worth watching. NOW. Come back after you're done and we'll sing a rousing verse or two of "Surly Joe"!

VIGNETTE THE SECOND - "Near Algodones". Also very good! With the added bonus of seeing James Franco hung! Twice! Any vignette in which James Franco is hung multiple times is a winner. Kudos to the Coen Brothers(TM) for placing this vignette second. Pan shot! Pan shot! Hee hee hee!!!

VIGNETTE THE THIRD - "Meal Ticket". Go to the bathroom while this one is on. You'll be glad you did. Do not waste time with it. Not even Liam Neeson can save it. Dang, I shouldn't have even told you Liam Neeson is in this one. I should have lied. Now you're going to watch it and then you're going to blame me. Well, I warned you. This vignette is a depressing bummer and you really should skip it.

VIGNETTE THE FOURTH - "All Gold Canyon". This was a real short story by Jack London. If Louis L'Amour had written it, then I would have read it already. But he didn't, so I haven't. Still, it's pretty good. If you screw up and watch "Meal Ticket", this one will kind of wash the taste of depressingly bitter failure out of your mouth. Tom Waits is good as The Prospector. Do you know who Tom Waits is? Most people do. Can you name a Tom Waits song? Most people can't. He's just one of those guys that you know you're supposed to like for some reason or other, but you never listen to his music. However, if his music is as good as his acting, then I'm going to start listening to his music.

VIGNETTE THE FIFTH - "The Gal Who Got Rattled". Boy, did she. This one is another good one for a bathroom break. A nice, long bathroom break. You'll do yourself no favors watching this snorefest.

VIGNETTE THE SIXTH - "The Mortal Remains". It's like Quentin Tarentino wrote this before his morning coffee. Lots of talking but no action. I don't get it.

So there you have it. This movie runs about twice as long as it needs to. As a public service, I'd like to give you the running times for each vignette, so that you may skip the dregs. But I can't find them. To be safe, just watch the first two vignettes and call it a day.

"The Ballad of Buster Scruggs" gets two Surly Joes out of six Surly Joes. Netflix still sucks.

.

[Edited 11/26/18 13:44pm]

Green Book..best movie of the year

N E T F L I X

S U C K S

*********************************************

I have to admit - I feel kind of dirty typing "NETFLIX SUCKS!" more than five or ten times a day. I'm hoping that the marquee typeface above got it all out of my system - for today, anyway.

*********************************************

On to the next movie! Which I found on Netflix!

You might think, "Oh, look - RodeoSchro found something on Netflix. Something he liked, apparently. Perhaps now he will join the rest of us and sing the praises of Netflix and its multitude of Hitler documentaries and lame '80's comedies. Happy day!"

Nope.

I'm reviewing the Arnold Schwarzenegger film "The Sixth Day" because...when I searched for "Arnold Schwarzenegger" all I got was "The Sixth Day" and one other Arnold movie. WTF?!?! No "Commando"? No "Terminator"? No "Predator"? No WONDER kids these days are messed up. All they do is watch Netflix which means they have no idea what it means to be an awesome, non-stop killing machine such as most any Arnold character is. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN.

I'm also reviewing this Arnold movie because Netflix does not have "True Romance" or "Donnie Darko" - two movies I want to see really, really bad. After striking out searching for these movies on Netflix, I figured "Crap. Mught as well search for Arnold movies."

And I ended up with "The Sixth Day".

This is a clone movie. I feel about clone movies almost the same way I feel about time travel movies. It's hard if not impossible for a clone movie to make any sense. They're like an endless loop. You died? No sweat, we'll just clone you again. And again. And again. Until you don't know who's a clone and who isn't. I assume this is the plot of "Star Wars: Clone Wars" but I don't know, as I stopped watching Stars Wars movies in 1983.

In this clone movie, Arnold is a super-cool dude that flies a super-cool helicopter/jet fighter and gives rides to dudes who want to go snowboarding on mountains. Pretty cool job.

He has a buddy/partner who convinces Arnold to go look at cloning his dead dog before his daughter realizes their dog died. In this world, cloning pets is OK, and so is cloning organs. But you can't clone humans. This is against the Sixth Day Law, which was inspired by the fact that on the sixth day, God created Man.

While Arnold is checking out cloning his dead dog, his partner takes Tony Goldwyn on a ride. Goldwyn is the bad guy. He's a GREAT bad guy. He was the bad guy in "The Mechanic", a great Jason Statham movie. If you need a bad guy, Tony Goldwyn is your guy.

Goldwyn's henchmen (remember when I educated y'all on the origin of the word "henchmen"?) kill Arnold's partner but in actuality they think they're killing Arnold. You see, Tony Goldwyn had already collected Arnold's DNA and memories through a trick. So he specifically asked for Arnold to fly him but neither he nor his henchmen actually knew what Arnold looked like. Since Arnold's partner had convinced Arnold to go look at cloning his dead dog, and since Tomy Goldwyn didn't know what Arnold looked like but wanted Arnold to fly him, Arnold's partner simply told Goldwyn when he showed up that he was Arnold.

See why I'm not a fan of cloning movies? All that rumpus was needed just to set up the actual cloning. Too much rumpus.

Arnold shows up at his house, as it's his birthday and his wife had arranged a surprise party that Arnold already knew about. But when Arnold gets home, the party is already underway. Worse, Arnold looks in the window and sees that Arnold is blowing out candles on the birthday cake, kissing his wife, and hugging his daughter - all while Arnold is watching Arnold do this from afar. Arnold is understandably perplexed. The Arnold looking through the window. The Arnold eating birthday cake is happy as a clam.

So Real Arnold goes to see his partner, who it turns out is a clone but doesn't know it. The assassin who sneaks in to Arnold's partner's sex condo knows it though, because he killed Arnold's partner earlier in the day as a way to get to Tony Goldwyn and kill Goldwyn. You see, the assassin is a huuuuuuuuuge anti-cloning activist and knows that Goldwyn is illegally cloning humans. But it seems like everyone who gets killed gets cloned again, so really what's the point?

The point is that Tony Goldwyn's father is film producer Samuel Goldwyn, Jr. which means his grandfather is movie mogul Samuel Goldwyn. This, as you will see in my next review, is an important point (in life, but not for this movie's plot).

Arnold kills lots of people but unfortunately they keep getting cloned back to life. Until, that is, Arnold meets up with Clone Arnold. They join forces and kick butt at Goldwyn's secret cloning facility. In the end, Arnold and Clone Arnold kill all the bad guys in ways that prevents any more cloning. Tony Godlwyn gets halfway cloned which seems like a bad enough fate but just to make sure, Real Arnold and Clone Arnold help Tony Goldwyn fall through a glass ceiling. That's one of the ways to prevent future cloning.

So - what to do with Clone Arnold?

Clone Arnold is pretty cool. He knows he's a clone. He wonders if that means he has no soul. Real Arnold say, "Hey - you were willing to die for me. That makes you a real human". Obviously neither Real Arnold or Clone Arnold were familiar with Prince's "I Would Die 4 U" which asserts the exact opposite with regard to dying for another.

Real Arnold decides to open a branch of his helicopter/jet fighter charter operation in Argentina and who better to run it than Clone Arnold? So Clone Arnold loads up the extra helicopter/jet fighter on a barge and sets out for Argentina where presumably he will either need no papers at all, or there will be two Arnolds in the files of the UN Government that is surely going to take over the world.

"The Sixth Day" was pretty entertaining. Arnold threw out some cool lines. My favorite was when he was at the pet re-cloning store but couldn't convince himself to clone his dead dog. So he told the salesman, "I'll probably be back".

We (my clone and I, shhh don't tell anyone) will rate "The Sixth Day" as 2 3/4 Virtual Sex Playmates out of Five Virtual Sex Playmates although in this movie, you could have as many Virtual Sex Playmates as you want.