Won't You Be My Neighbor? (2018)

I'm not crying, YOU'RE crying.

RodeoSchro said:

I just finished a totally unplanned Parker-a-plooza.

First, I went to the library and checked out the only Parker novel they have - "Comeback". Oh, wait - you don't know who Parker is? And you don't know why I'm talking about a book in a movie thread?

Well - this is your lucky day!

Parker is a character created by Richard Stark, the pen name for famous Hollywood screenwriter/famous author Donald E. Westlake. For some reason, Westlake created the Stark pen name in order to create Parker.

Parker is my favorite character of all time.

He's a crook.

He's a really, really, REALLY bad crook.

He is AWESOME.

There is no one else in literature that I know of like Parker. Complete and I mean COMPLETE no-nonsense criminal. You're lucky if Parker says 100 words in a novel. He is a laser-focused crook. He steals money. That's what he does; that's who he is; that's all he will talk about. Ever.

Sometimes he and his ever-changing gang are successful; other times not. But you can be guaranteed of two things: (1) Parker will kick a lot of ass; and (2) no one will ever kick Parker's ass.

I highly recommend reading any and every Parker novel you can find. But be forewarned - they're harder to find than a brain cell at a Donald Trump rally.

So I settled in to begin "Comeback" yesterday and got about 2/3 of the way through it when what should come on the TV but "Payback". That's the Mel Gibson movie in which he plays a crook named Porter who has some money stolen from him by another crook. Porter spends the whole movie laying waste to various crooks whilst trying to recover the money stolen from him.

Of course, "Porter" is Parker. "Payback" was based on the first Parker novel. I don't know why they changed the name of the criminal to "Porter". But they did.

Mel Gibson is passable as Porter/Parker. He talks too much, and gets beat up. The real Parker would never get beat up or let someone get the drop on him or talk very much. But still, it's a good movie.

This afternoon, after watching Uruguay beat Portugal in the World Cup (my family got tired of me screaming "diving ponce!" whenever Ronaldo had the ball), guess what came on?

"Parker"!

This is the Jason Statham movie that is based on another of the Parker novels. Statham is a good Parker too, but he also talks way too much. And he gets beat up but at least in this movie, he still wins that fight.

I've reviewed both "Payback" and "Parker" before so unless someone just has to know what I said, I'll quit now.

That's all your Parker news for today!

.

[Edited 6/30/18 15:28pm]

i just searched 'donald westlake' on imdb...there are a couple (more) parker film adaptations i wasn't aware of, including 'slayground'. he also wrote the screenplay for richard thompson's (whose novels are equally great, if you've a mind for checking him out) 'the grifters', which is a great film...but, yeah, those parker novels are hard to come by. i've got 8 or 10. they're all excellent, and for the most part can be read in one sitting, which i rather enjoy. they can be had on ebay and amazon, but it's way more fun for me as a collector to search used bookstores and estate/yard sales for them. the thrill of discovery, and all.

i rather like 'payback'. i thought mel gibson was a good parker...jason statham, not so much.

[Edited 7/2/18 9:21am]

damosuzuki said:

peedub said:

i've been slowly working my way through paul schrader's filmography over the last couple of years. i like the way he illustrates the human condition, and the aspects of it he chooses to explore; little underdog quirks, events, realizations and/or decisions with huge consequences. i'll probably get this one from the library once it's available. i'm not the biggest fan of ethan hawke...he's never really convinced me that he's NOT ethan hawke. i suppose he probably doesn't ruin it, though.

i caught first reformed this afternoon, and would highly recommend it. i've always been a bit on the fence on hawke as well, but i thought he was 100% convincing & compelling here. i won't say anything further except to say there is definitely an undercurrent of taxi driver running through this, but not in an immediately obvious way. i think this is best watched as blindly as possible, & if it's playing in your region, i'd definitely say it's worth taking the time to see it. 4/5

[Edited 7/1/18 16:18pm]

i'm sold...it's playing at my local art house cinema through the end of this week. i'll catch it tomorrow night, when it's 'all night cheap ticket night'.

Last night we watched...well, let me sum it up for you in a poem. A friend of mine asked everyone to describe their day in a poem (she was bored) and this is what I wrote:

Played softball and my guitar too
Watched the World Cup hullabaloo
Gonna watch Bruce Willis blow some guys away
I’d have to say it was a near-perfect day

Hmmmm. "Gonna watch Bruce Willis blow some guys away". Dang, that could be just about ANY Bruce Willis movie!

This time it was "Death Wish".

Did you see the original? I did! In the movie theater! I am an Old. But I loved it! Charles Bronson blowing guys away! I remember two things about the original movie. One was the line Bronson spoke to a guy who was about to get death-wished:

BRONSON: Do you believe in God, punk?

PUNK: Y....y....y.....yes!

BRONSON: Good, because you're about to meet Him.

BLAM!

And the other thing I remember is some other punk trying to avod getting death-wished by running away and protecting his face with his boom box. After reading the latest "How Old Are You?" thread, it occurs to me that not everyone here might know what a boom box is/was. Feast your eyes on this. Try to imagine a punk running while holding it in front of his face, and then try to imagine Charles Bronson death-wishing the punk right in the cassette player:





You know what? It has also occurred to me that the Youngs here might not even know who Charles Bronson was! Let's fix that.

Bronson was the first Action Star. He was a true badass who could pull himself out of a pool, or up a mountain, with only one arm (he had two arms, don't worry). Check him out, here he is lifting a much bigger guy - using only one arm! (I promise, he had two arms his whole life.)





Charles Bronson was a REAL tough guy. He came from a family so poor that once, he had to wear his sister's dress to school. It was the only clothes they had. Do you think anyone laughed? I highly doubt it!

Charles Bronson was so tough that he enlisted into the Air Force in 1943 and flew 25 missions on a B-29 bomber into Japan. He received a Purple Heart. They give those for soldiers wounded in the line of duty. Bronson was on an airplane. You do the math. No bone spurs for him!

Charles Bronson was so tough that when some dude named Michael Peterson became the most violent prisoner in Britain, he changed his name to...Charles Bronson! (He has since grown a Salvador Dali mustache and changed his name to "Charles Salvadore". I'm sure he did this because he was afraid the ghost of the real Charles Bronson would come back and death-wish him.)

Those are the shoes that Bruce Willis had to fill. Did he?

Meh. He did OK - I guess - but the real Charles Bronson would have death-wished him in about 15 seconds. So let's talk about the current "Death Wish".

First of all, it takes almsot an hour before Willis begins death-wishing people. An hour! Ugh. HUGE mistake.

Second, Willis plays a doctor. Oh the irony! Doctors save lives, but Dr. Willis TAKES lives. I honestly think I'm the only one that figured that out. Given the upcoming plot holes we will discuss, I am very comfortable this level of thinking escaped the writers, director and producer. And the star.

Speaking of the star, I kind of think "Death Wish" was, for Willis, nothing more than a cash grab. But I give him that right. After all, he's BRUCE WILLIS. He's JOHN McCLANE. He's THE GUY THAT DIED SAVING THE WORLD FROM THAT ASTEROID. And, of course, HE'S GOING TO GET ROASTED ON COMEDY CENTRAL (July 29, check your local listings). So we'll let that slide.

The plot is exactly what you'd expect. Some bad guys sneak into Willis's home while he's at work saving people, kill his wife, and put his daughter into a coma. We then spend 30 minutes watching Willis go to his therapist, and also to the cops. My favorite cop character actor is in it. Hang on while I Google who he is...

...Dean Norris. Man, what a forgettable name. Apologies to any Deans, Norrises, or Dean Norrises on the org. That's just a plain name. I bet you don't know who he is from his name but when you see his picture, you're going to say, "Oh, yeah! THAT guy! I love that guy! He was awesome in 'Breaking Bad' and when he played Rodent in that 'Married...with Children' episode, and all the other stuff I forgot he was in! What's his name again?"




His name is Dean Norris. He plays a pretty much ineffectual detective, with a pretty much ineffectual partner. They figure out who's doing all the death-wishing at the end but by then, they're cool with it - just as long as Willis doesn't death-wish anyone else.

POINT OF PARLIMENTARY PROCEDURE - Have you noticed that I've coined the adjective/adverb "death-wished"? I'm sure you have. It means exactly the same thing as "equalized" or "terminated". I like it. I like "equalized" the best though, but maybe because "Equalizer 2 - Even More Equalizing" hits theaters in less than three weeks. I also just found out that there was a TV show called "The Equalizer". More on that when "Equalizer 2 - Even More Equalizing" hits the screens and I write what will surely be a monumental review.

Willis operates on some street punk who's been shot to ribbons and somehow, everyone missed the Glock in the guy's pocket. But not Willis! He pilfers it, and begins to learn how to shoot it via YouTube videos.

He also goes to a gun store, where he learns that getting a gun legally is very, very easy. But since he has an illegal Glock, all he really does is stare down the bosom of the gun girl, and also take note of a table that has a spring-loaded gun drawer. You can hide a machine gun in it. Gee, I wonder what's going to happen?

Fully armed with his illicit Glock and his signature hoodie, Willis decides to become a vigilante. He comes across a carjacking and death-wishes a dude right in the street. This being the Age of the Cell Phone, someone records it and uploads it. The Grim Reaper is born!

Then he death-wishes some more punks, including the Ice Cream Man. Talk radio is in an uproar! The makers of "Death Wish" clearly had a partnership with SiriusXM because 3 or 4 of their talk radio hosts appear a bunch, debating the merits of a guy who goes around death-wishing people.

One talk show guy is Mancow. His show was on the radio in Houston back in the 90's. I remember when he hit the airwaves. "Mancow? Is he a man? A cow? A man who has a love for cows? And if so, is it an unhealthy love? Who calls their self 'Mancow' anyway?" He's a shock-jock and I have no use for shock-jocks but I will say this - after saying waterboarding wasn't torture, he got himself waterboarded. And completely changed his tune. So he has that going, which is nice.

A shot-up dude ends up in Willis's hospital. Willis recognizes guy as a valet at Willis's favorite restaurant. Willis also sees that the dude is wearing his stolen watch, so he snags the dude's phone and, using the dude's dead thumb, opens the phone and finds some relevant information. Namely, that the dude had taken a picture of Willis's home address on Willis's car's GPS, and that the dude apparently fenced stuff at a liquor store. Willis goes to the liquor store.

Mayhem ensues, and ends in a way that would make Rube Goldberg proud. The liquor store owner texts one of the three dudes who killed Willis's wife. He shows up and there's a gunfight. The liquor store owner gets death-wished, although it's on accident by the other bad guy and not by Willis. Willis gets injured, and is laying down - an easy target for the bad guy. But wait! Apparently the liquor store owner was a pretty good bowler, because there are bowling trophies on the shelf above. And also a bowling ball! Which, in the melee, got knocked off its pedestal and is rolling down the shelf. It's going to fall! Where is it going to land?!?!?

Yep - right on the bad dude's head! It doesn't kill him but it stuns him enough for Willis to get the drop and get some info out of him concerning the next bad guy on the list. After thanking the bad guy for the information, Willis death-wishes him.

Now comes the best scene in the movie. Bad guy #2 is a mechanic and is working after-hours on an old car. He's got it jacked up and is underneath it. Willis shows up, disables the bad guy via a giant crescent wrench to the nads, and then ties him up on a car dolly. Then he proceeds to use his surgical skills to maximum effect.

He cuts into the guy's sciatic nerve. OUCH! I've had three bulging disc episodes in which each time, a disk touched the sciatic nerve. Willis says, "This is the most pain a person can have without going into cardiac arrest". TRUE. At one point, I would have agreed to have my leg cut off if it would have stopped the pain. I am not joking.

So when Willis cuts into the guy's sciatic nerve and pours brake fluid on it, here is the transcript of what I said:

"OUUUUUUUCH!!!! YEAHHHHHHHHHH! POUR MORE BRAKE FLUID ON IT!!!!!!!! OOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

While this is the best scene in the movie, it's also where the movie takes a turn for the worse. Willis gets the name of the third and main bad guy - Knox - but the dude about to get death-wished says there is no way to contact Knox. HE contacts YOU. So Willis death-wishes the sciatic-nerve-damaged bad guy via close contact with a 1965 Chevelle. Close enough contact that the bad guy's brains get squished out of his head. But the main takeaway is that there is no way to contact Knox. So what happens next?

Knox calls Willis. On Willis's cell phone. First question - how did Knox know Willis was the guy death-wishing everyone? Willis death-wished a lot of other people besides the guys who killed his wife. And according to sciatic-nerve guy, the gang that killed Willis's wife was a one-time-only gang. There was nothing to indicate to Knox that his one-time-only gang was getting death-wished by Willis.

Next question - how did Knox get Willis's cell phone number? Is Knox some kind of Super Villain? Is his first name "Fort"?

Anyway, Knox tells Willis to meet him at Da Club. "It's public. Nothing will happen there. I want to tell you what your wife's last words were". That's cold! But Willis, donned in his hoodie, goes to Da Club. For some unexplained reason, he goes into the restroom where he Star 69's Knox. A phone rings in a closed stall so naturally Willis fires into it. What if someone else had been receiving a call at the same time? No one thought of that except Yours Truly.

Well, it's a ruse. Knox's phone is in the stall but Knox is not. Oh, but he's in the restroom. Why? Who knows? All I know is that there is a shoot-out and both Knox and Willis wound each other but not fatally. Willis leaves Da Club, goes home, and performs surgery on himself.

Then he gets a phone call from the hospital. His daughter is out of the coma! He goes to pick her up and as they enter the elevator to leave the hospital, guess who's in the elevator? Knox!

Knox and Willis's daughter have a pleasant conversation about getting shot, etc. Why Willis doesn't death-wish the guy with his bare hands right there in the elevator is a total mystery. But he doesn't. As Willis and his daughter exit the elevator Knox says, "See you later, alligator!" Or something like that.

Willis and his daughter go home and of course that very night, Knox and two of his buddies pay a visit. Willis hides his daughter under the stairs and proceeds to death wish the two henchmen. Then he repairs to his basement/armory, where Knox gets the drop on him. Willis is wounded, laying on his couch. Knox laughs but guess what Willis has? That's right -

A machine gun coffee table!

Knox gets death-wished to the max.

And then, of course, the cops show up. Do you remember the name of the actor who played the main cop? I bet you don't! No peeking above!

The cops ask about the machine-gun table, but Willis had purchased it legally. Then they ask him if he has a Glock. "I used to, but I don't any more" says Willis. That's good enough for the cops. They leave.

Willis doesn't death-wish anyone else, but he does pretend to death-wish a guy who is stealing luggage. You get the ideas that: (A) Willis misses death-wishing; and (B) death-wshing is actually acceptable.

"Death Wish" is not bad. It would probably go well with some classy Pinot Noir, but I didn't have any for my viewing. Therefore, my stone cold sober rating of "Death Wish" is

2 1/2 Dean Norris Sciatic Nerves out of 5 Dean Norris Sciatic Nerves.

I bet right now you are thinking, "Who is Dean Norris?"

.

[Edited 7/2/18 11:03am]

peedub said:

RodeoSchro said:

Parker stuff

.

[Edited 6/30/18 15:28pm]

i just searched 'donald westlake' on imdb...there are a couple (more) parker film adaptations i wasn't aware of, including 'slayground'. he also wrote the screenplay for richard thompson's (whose novels are equally great, if you've a mind for checking him out) 'the grifters', which is a great film...but, yeah, those parker novels are hard to come by. i've got 8 or 10. they're all excellent, and for the most part can be read in one sitting, which i rather enjoy. they can be had on ebay and amazon, but it's way more fun for me as a collector to search used bookstores and estate/yard sales for them. the thrill of discovery, and all.

i rather like 'payback'. i thought mel gibson was a good parker...jason statham, not so much.

[Edited 7/2/18 9:21am]

I agree on collecting "Parker" novels. Searching for them is fun! But man oh man are they rare. I couldn't believe the Angel Fire, New Mexico Library had a Parker novel. When I told them how awesome that was, and that there were about 20 more Parker novels, they offered to buy them all for the library. Since I figured I'd be the only guy reading them, I thanked them but said that wasn't necessary.

I do want to see the other Parker movies. Especially "Point Blank" because how great a Parker would Lee Marvin be! And I found it! I'm going to watch it very soon.

Have you read any of the Grofield novels? They are really good, and funny too.

In movie-related new, MoviePass is about out of money. They need to raise $1.2 billion. Now, here is MoviePass's business model:

You pay $10 a month and can see one movie per day

BUT

MoviePass has to pay the movie theater for every ticket for each movie you see.

IF

You go to one movie a month, MoviePass probably breaks even on you.

BUT IF

You go to more than one movie a month, or more than 12 in a year, MoviePass loses money on you.

SO

MoviePass's plan is to go from its current 3 million subscribers to a hoped-for 5 million subscribers, because

THEN

MoviePass says it will make money.

DO YOU GET IT?

MoviePass's strategy is to get 2,000,000 people who THEY HOPE AND PRAY won't go to the movies.

Their stock is selling for 22 cents a share and if you ask me, that's 22 cents a share too high.

"Parker-pa-looza" continues! Thanks to the inspiration provided by peedub, I located at least one more Parker movie. This is called "Point Blank". It stars Lee Marvin as "Walker" (who will be referred to as Parker from now on), and it's based on the first Parker novel "The Hunter". This is also the novel on which Mel Gibson's "Payback" is based. However, aside from the fact that Parker has his money stolen, there's not much the same between the two movies.

"Point Blank" is a 60's movie. A real 60's movie. Lots of flashbacks and the like. The generic soul singer and band. Cool furniture. Sleazy dudes. A few Corvettes. Angie Dickinson.

And introducing Dean Vernon Wormer!



Yep - this was John Vernon's first movie. He plays the bad guy that steals Parker's money and his wife, and (he thinks) kills Parker. As we all know, Parker is impossible to kill.

Parker ultimately finds Dean Vernon Wormer and kills him by throwing him off a balcony. Parker then kills Dean Vernon Wormer's boss by making him run out in front of the sharpshooter meant for Parker.

Then, Parker works his way up to Carroll O'Connor - as fine an actor as there maybe ever was. Parker gets O'Connor killed by the Big Boss who for some reason is working with Parker. I think the deal was that Parker, after coming back to life, had gone to the Big Boss and said, "Hey - I'll get all your competition killed if you'll pay me back my $93,000". Very un-Parker-like.

The movie ends with the Big Boss's sniper - the guy who shot Dean Vernon Wormer's boss and another guy - shooting Carroll O'Connor after a helicopter delivers the $93,000 at the drop point (inside an abandoned prison or similar structure). The Big Boss implores Parker to come get his money - they are even now. A deal's a deal. The Big Boss always pays his debts. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Paraker does not fall for that apparent banana in that apparent tailpipe and leaves.

Fin.

Although Marvin is pretty good as Parker, there are some fatal flaws. First of all, Parker would never get drunk - ever. But the movie opens with Parker drunk as a skunk at a party. Nope. never happened.

Marvin talks only a little more than Parker would. Kudos there.

But while waiting for Carroll O'Connor to come home, Parker boinks Angie Dickinson. Sorry, but nope. Parker likes boinking as well as the next man, but only AFTER a job has been finished. Parker will not boink during a job and in fact, he turned down some boinking in the book I just read because he was in the middle of killing a bunch of people.

"Point Blank" is probably for only the filmophiles and/or die-hard Parker fans. It's kind of like the Prince's C-Note". You're going to buy it because it's Prince, but you'll probably only listen to it once.

I rate "Point Blank" as C. - N. out of C. - N.O.T.E.

RodeoSchro said:

peedub said:

i just searched 'donald westlake' on imdb...there are a couple (more) parker film adaptations i wasn't aware of, including 'slayground'. he also wrote the screenplay for richard thompson's (whose novels are equally great, if you've a mind for checking him out) 'the grifters', which is a great film...but, yeah, those parker novels are hard to come by. i've got 8 or 10. they're all excellent, and for the most part can be read in one sitting, which i rather enjoy. they can be had on ebay and amazon, but it's way more fun for me as a collector to search used bookstores and estate/yard sales for them. the thrill of discovery, and all.

i rather like 'payback'. i thought mel gibson was a good parker...jason statham, not so much.

[Edited 7/2/18 9:21am]

I agree on collecting "Parker" novels. Searching for them is fun! But man oh man are they rare. I couldn't believe the Angel Fire, New Mexico Library had a Parker novel. When I told them how awesome that was, and that there were about 20 more Parker novels, they offered to buy them all for the library. Since I figured I'd be the only guy reading them, I thanked them but said that wasn't necessary.

I do want to see the other Parker movies. Especially "Point Blank" because how great a Parker would Lee Marvin be! And I found it! I'm going to watch it very soon.

Have you read any of the Grofield novels? They are really good, and funny too.

well, there's also 'pillaged' (based on 'the score'), 'the split' (based on 'the seventh'), 'the outfit' (based on...well, 'the outfit' and starring robert duvall and JOE DON BAKER) and 'slayground' (directed by terry bedford, a monty python alum)...i had no idea any of those were out there. i have seen 'point blank', but it's been a long time. i'm probably due for a rewatch (thanks for the link!).

why can't we have a parker frachise instead of stupid star wars or avengers?!

i haven't read any of the grofield stuff, but i've heard of it...i'll check it out. i have read 3 of the 4 sam holt novels. they're pretty good. kind of a more cinematic riff on the whole 'magnum p.i.' model of near infinite resources retired ladies man with a lot of time on his hands thrown into murdery intrigue...good stuff.

[Edited 7/3/18 6:03am]

peedub said:

RodeoSchro said:

I agree on collecting "Parker" novels. Searching for them is fun! But man oh man are they rare. I couldn't believe the Angel Fire, New Mexico Library had a Parker novel. When I told them how awesome that was, and that there were about 20 more Parker novels, they offered to buy them all for the library. Since I figured I'd be the only guy reading them, I thanked them but said that wasn't necessary.

I do want to see the other Parker movies. Especially "Point Blank" because how great a Parker would Lee Marvin be! And I found it! I'm going to watch it very soon.

Have you read any of the Grofield novels? They are really good, and funny too.

well, there's also 'pillaged' (based on 'the score'), 'the split' (based on 'the seventh'), 'the outfit' (based on...well, 'the outfit' and starring robert duvall and JOE DON BAKER) and 'slayground' (directed by terry bedford, a monty python alum)...i had no idea any of those were out there. i have seen 'point blank', but it's been a long time. i'm probably due for a rewatch (thanks for the link!).

why can't we have a parker frachise instead of stupid star wars or avengers?!

i haven't read any of the grofield stuff, but i've heard of it...i'll check it out. i have read 3 of the 4 sam holt novels. they're pretty good. kind of a more cinematic riff on the whole 'magnum p.i.' model of near infinite resources retired ladies man with a lot of time on his hands thrown into murdery intrigue...good stuff.

[Edited 7/3/18 6:03am]

My pleasure! I'm looking for "The Outfit" today.

Have you been to The Violent World of Parker? From your list of movies I'm guessing you have but in case you haven't, here is the best Parker website I know of: http://violentworldofparker.us/

According to that site, "The Outfit" with Robert Duvall is the best Parker movie. Speaking of that, here are some actors that have portrayed Parker:

Lee Marvin
Robert Duvall
Jim Brown
Mel Gibson
Jason Statham

That's a pretty good list of Parkers - and none of them are near the badass of the real Parker. Now, that is a character!

I have all the Sam Holt novels. I liked the first one the best and yes - he reminds me of Thomas Magnum a whole lot.

I've got the first three Grofield novels. I need to find "Lemons Never Lie". From the description of it on the Parker site, it looks like a great read.

RodeoSchro said:

ufoclub said:

RodeoSchro said:

In movie-related new, MoviePass is about out of money. They need to raise $1.2 billion. Now, here is MoviePass's business model:

You pay $10 a month and can see one movie per day

BUT

MoviePass has to pay the movie theater for every ticket for each movie you see.

IF

You go to one movie a month, MoviePass probably breaks even on you.

BUT IF

You go to more than one movie a month, or more than 12 in a year, MoviePass loses money on you.

SO

MoviePass's plan is to go from its current 3 million subscribers to a hoped-for 5 million subscribers, because

THEN

MoviePass says it will make money.

DO YOU GET IT?

MoviePass's strategy is to get 2,000,000 people who THEY HOPE AND PRAY won't go to the movies.

Their stock is selling for 22 cents a share and if you ask me, that's 22 cents a share too high.

Just like the business of insurance.

I am IN insurance, LOL. Our business model is nothing like that.

MoviePass's model reminds me of the old joke about the guys that sold melons out of their truck. The melons cost the guys $1.50 each and they were selling them for $1 each. After counting their losses, they decided what they needed was a bigger truck.

The Guard (2011) - An unorthodox Irish policeman with a confrontational personality is partnered with an up-tight F.B.I. agent to investigate an international drug-smuggling ring.

This is my favorite buddy cop movie. Actually, it's the only buddy cop movie I really like. 4/5

RodeoSchro said:

ufoclub said:

RodeoSchro said: Just like the business of insurance.

I am IN insurance, LOL. Our business model is nothing like that.

MoviePass's model reminds me of the old joke about the guys that sold melons out of their truck. The melons cost the guys $1.50 each and they were selling them for $1 each. After counting their losses, they decided what they needed was a bigger truck.

Doesn't insurance count on subscribers not cashing in on an insurance need, yet paying the premium just in case?

sexton said:

RodeoSchro said:

MoviePass's strategy is to get 2,000,000 people who THEY HOPE AND PRAY won't go to the movies.

peedub said:

ufoclub said:

RodeoSchro said:

I am IN insurance, LOL. Our business model is nothing like that.

MoviePass's model reminds me of the old joke about the guys that sold melons out of their truck. The melons cost the guys $1.50 each and they were selling them for $1 each. After counting their losses, they decided what they needed was a bigger truck.

Doesn't insurance count on subscribers not cashing in on an insurance need, yet paying the premium just in case?

No, insurance is based on the premise that policy holders will have claims, but that you sell more in policies than you pay out in claims. There are types of insurance - life insurance, for example - where 100% of your policyholders (well, the beneficiaries) are going to collect on the policy.

endymion said:

peedub said:

well, there's also 'pillaged' (based on 'the score'), 'the split' (based on 'the seventh'), 'the outfit' (based on...well, 'the outfit' and starring robert duvall and JOE DON BAKER) and 'slayground' (directed by terry bedford, a monty python alum)...i had no idea any of those were out there. i have seen 'point blank', but it's been a long time. i'm probably due for a rewatch (thanks for the link!).

why can't we have a parker frachise instead of stupid star wars or avengers?!

i haven't read any of the grofield stuff, but i've heard of it...i'll check it out. i have read 3 of the 4 sam holt novels. they're pretty good. kind of a more cinematic riff on the whole 'magnum p.i.' model of near infinite resources retired ladies man with a lot of time on his hands thrown into murdery intrigue...good stuff.

[Edited 7/3/18 6:03am]

I got pretty much all the Parker novels from a publisher called university of Chicago press plus a rareish one called "lemons never lie" from hard case publishing. Worth checking for on Amazon

Thanks for the tip! "Lemons Never Lie" is the one Grofield novel I haven't read yet.

More Parker-pa-looza news! I just finished "Payback Straight Up" which is the original director's cut of "Payback". And by "original director" I mean the first guy they hired to direct this movie. He made a REAL Parker movie but it was too real, so they fired him and made the next director humanize Parker.

The fired director was Brian Helgeland. He's still shown as the director but what actually happened was "(f)ollowing a script rewrite by Terry Hayes, director Helgeland was replaced by the production designer John Myhre,^[3] who reshot 30% of the film.^[4] The intent was to make the Porter character accessible." https://en.wikipedia.org/...1999_film)

But MAN - the original version is FREAKING AWESOME. It is REAL PARKER. No voice-overs; no "humanizing" of Parker. It would be PERFECT if they deleted the two scenes involving the Chinese mobsters but even with those scenes in, "Payback Straight Up" is TREMENDOUS.

I highly recommend tracking this down. Buy it, rent it, Google it - whatever. THIS IS REAL PARKER.

"Payback Straight Up" gets 9.5 Sexy Sally Kellerman Phone Calls out of a possible 10 Sexy Sally Kellerman Phone Calls.

peedub said:

damosuzuki said:

i caught first reformed this afternoon, and would highly recommend it. i've always been a bit on the fence on hawke as well, but i thought he was 100% convincing & compelling here. i won't say anything further except to say there is definitely an undercurrent of taxi driver running through this, but not in an immediately obvious way. i think this is best watched as blindly as possible, & if it's playing in your region, i'd definitely say it's worth taking the time to see it. 4/5

[Edited 7/1/18 16:18pm]

i'm sold...it's playing at my local art house cinema through the end of this week. i'll catch it tomorrow night, when it's 'all night cheap ticket night'.

wow...i won't see many movies at the theater this year, but this is sure to be the best.

a bit of a departure from what i've seen of schrader's work. very austere, borderline bergman-esque, and more ambiguous than his usual storytelling. i read it as kind of an anti-taxi driver...or at least the opposite bookend. ethan hawke was indeed excellent, a pleasant surprise. i loved the way the inflection of his dialogue raised an octave as he became hopeful, even after his decision to manifest his despair had already been made.

a very thought provoking film that will probably reward repeat viewing.

also, as an aside...really? can't people be aware enough to turn off their fucking phones in a movie theater?! no fewer than 4 phones went off during my attendance at this movie; one with a fog horn and flashing lights ringtone. goddamn ridiculous. and do i really need to listen to some sumbitch chawing on their $36 noise making bag of petroleum drenched chicken feed from 4 rows back for the first third of a film? you didn't just have dinner and aren't going immediately afterwards for dessert? this is why i don't go to the theater...

Ace said:

RodeoSchro said:

MoviePass's strategy is to get 2,000,000 people who THEY HOPE AND PRAY won't go to the movies.

True. And you know what? That could actually happen.

Saw "American Animals"... and felt it was a strange almost clumsy hybrid of Documentary plus dramatic recreation, sometimes with moments of the two blended... but then it got good.

While that idea in itself is interesting, this seemed to be a stretched out short film for the first half. But by the time the heist kicks in, the tension and dread is amazing! Espcially when you realize it's about such small things... unlike crime films where entire gangs get mowed down in gunfire or backstabbing.

I can't believe how stupid these college kids were at the time!

There are problems with casting very well known current popular actors though like "Aunt Lydia" or the kid who's in almost every other season of "American Horror Story". They are great... but Ann Dowd was so much the same as her "Aunt Lydia" chracter it was odd. Maybe it was shot on a day in between days of shooting "The Handmaid's Tale".

_______

Moviepass's secret strategy to make money is to market their list of subscribers the same way Facebook has.

EmmaMcG said:

sexton said:



The Guard (2011) - An unorthodox Irish policeman with a confrontational personality is partnered with an up-tight F.B.I. agent to investigate an international drug-smuggling ring.

This is my favorite buddy cop movie. Actually, it's the only buddy cop movie I really like. 4/5

Great movie. One of the few Irish movies worth watching. We don't have a great track record but every now and then we produce a classic. If you liked this I'd recommend The Snapper. Another really good Irish comedy. An ex boyfriend of mine, who is American, seen it when he was over visiting and he was in tears laughing at it.

I'll check out The Snapper. Thanks for the recommendation.

peedub said:

peedub said:

i'm sold...it's playing at my local art house cinema through the end of this week. i'll catch it tomorrow night, when it's 'all night cheap ticket night'.

wow...i won't see many movies at the theater this year, but this is sure to be the best.

a bit of a departure from what i've seen of schrader's work. very austere, borderline bergman-esque, and more ambiguous than his usual storytelling. i read it as kind of an anti-taxi driver...or at least the opposite bookend. ethan hawke was indeed excellent, a pleasant surprise. i loved the way the inflection of his dialogue raised an octave as he became hopeful, even after his decision to manifest his despair had already been made.

a very thought provoking film that will probably reward repeat viewing.

also, as an aside...really? can't people be aware enough to turn off their fucking phones in a movie theater?! no fewer than 4 phones went off during my attendance at this movie; one with a fog horn and flashing lights ringtone. goddamn ridiculous. and do i really need to listen to some sumbitch chawing on their $36 noise making bag of petroleum drenched chicken feed from 4 rows back for the first third of a film? you didn't just have dinner and aren't going immediately afterwards for dessert? this is why i don't go to the theater...

glad to hear you liked it. i definitely think this is going to be near the top of my favourites for this year too.

i'm much the same as you when it comes to the theatre experience. i generally try to make time in my schedule to catch a weekday matinee, so i'll know i'll have the room mostly to myself. not foolproof, of course, but it definitely cuts down on obnoxious people & their phone time.

i've never ever understood why popcorn, just about the noisiest food you could name, became the default theatre snack.

Antman and Wasp 8/10

I really do like these smaller Marvel films. Very funny, warm and exceptionally charming.

We took a break from Parker-a-plooza last night and watched a comedy. Thanks to the TOTALLY HORRIBLE Dish service that we have up here in the mountains, we had one and only one choice.

"Blockers".

The title reminds me of one of my favorite David Letterman Top Tens of all time. It was a riff on a motel chain here in America called "Motel 6". One of the Top Tens was "We left the 9 off, but you know it's there".

You can guess what word was left off the "Blockers" title. And if you can't, well....you'll figure out it, I promise!

The premise of "Blockers" is that three high school senior girls decide to lose their virginity at the prom. Actually, only one girl makes this decision. She wants to lose her virginity to the guy she's been dating for 6 months, and tells her friends. Then the second girl says, "WTF - I'll do it too! With.....ummmm....that guy over there!" Then the third girl - who is a closeted/unsure lesbian - finally caves and picks a dude in a hat to do create The Beast With Two Backs. Game on!

The girls come from three distinct backgrounds. Girl #1 only has a mom. I think her dad disappeared before she was born. For her whole life, it's been her and her mom against the world. Which, of course, means that Girl #1's mom is a giant helicopter mom.

Girl #2 has a mom and a dad. The dad is professional wrester John Cena. He is freaking AWESOME as you will see.

Girl #3 - the closeted/not-really-sure-yet lesbian has a mom and a step-dad. Her real dad is a womanizing drunk. No, he does not have orange skin. He turns out to be pretty cool.

The parents accidentally find out about the Sex Pact and vow to stop it. This reminds me of a story!

COMPLETELY FRIVOLOUS SIDEBAR - We were hosting a sleep-over for all the cool kids at my house after Homecoming when my daughter was a high school senior. Completely by accident, I discovered the stash of booze under my daughter's bed. No, really - I was looking for something non-booze-related (a computer cord) and I stumbled upon five bottles of booze. But that wasn't what made me mad. Do you know what made me mad?

It was CHEAP booze!

Dang it, I taught her better than that!

Because she was in the Homecoming Court at the football game Friday night, we waited until Saturday morning to tell her we knew about the CHEAP booze, and that it had to go. Our high school, like probably every other high school, has a zero-tolerance booze policy. I'm a cool dude but I couldn't let these kids risk athletic, academic and various other scholarships at a function at my house. Heck, some idiot had started a rumor we were hosting a rage party.

But my daughter had already told her friends to get rid of the booze. Yay! My Father of the Year plaque was still a possibility! Of course, they snuck it all back IN that night. I told my daughter that if they did drink that CHEAP booze, not to over-do it all at once. I explained how that would result in the Mother Of All Hangovers.

My good parenting was evident when Sunday morning, all the kids showed up downstairs for breakfast on time, and none of them were hung over. I rule!

A few days later, the cops called me. But that's another story. Suffice to say that I figured out who the rat neighbor was, and he got a LOT of dog poop in his yard somehow.

Back to "Blockers"!

Mom #1 (the Helicopter mom) reads the texts that somehow came over Girl #1's open laptop. "We're going to be lit af"? she says, not realizing it's "Lit AF!!!!!" Hahahahahahahaha!

She gets John Cena and the dad of Girl #s to join her in a quest to block the cocks. See? I told you that you'd figure out what the missing word was!

First, they go to the prom. In the best scene, some nerd dude gets his one and only chance to show off his dancing skills. It doesn't go well. Actually, nothing goes well at the prom, so the adults leave.

They go to the home of the parents of the boy dating Girl #1. They figure those parents can tell them where the kids are going after the prom. And they would have - if they weren't in the middle of having sex themselves! The dad sees John Cena through the window. "What happened?" asks Mom of Girl #1. "We locked eyes...and then he finished!" say Cena.

Somehow they end up at the house party that's the after-party warm-up before the Virginity Losses are to occur. Some high school kids convince John Cena to have a chugging contest with them. But there's a catch - you have to chug the beer through a tube up your butt. Of course it's a trick - and John Cena falls for it!

Mayhem ensues, and they leave in the Mom's car. As they pull away, John Cena grimaces and says, "There goes the last of the ass beer".

I can't remember how but they figured out where the actual boinking is to occur. But they did. And needless to say, they're unsuccessful. But they didn't need to be successful, because Girls #2 and #3 blocked the boinking all on their own. Girl #1, however, became a woman.

Everyone realizes all the important things, and they all live happily ever after.

"Blockers" was way funnier than I thought it would be. John Cena is hilarious, and so is the guy who played the dad of Girl #3. By the way, his name is Ike Barinholtz.

Since "Blockers" made not only me laugh, but also my wife and my favorite mother-in-law, I give it 3.5 Ass Beers out of I Am Never Going To Have Any Ass Beers But We'll Throw In The Rating Number Of 5 Ass Beers just this one time. Enjoy!

Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018) - As Scott Lang balances being both a Super Hero and a father, Hope van Dyne and Dr. Hank Pym present an urgent new mission that finds the Ant-Man fighting alongside The Wasp to uncover secrets from their past.

The guest appearance by Black Goliath's Bill Foster was very cool. I also really liked the Partridge Family and Morrissey references. 3.5/5

[Edited 10/2/18 21:56pm]

Watched three films yesterday.

The original 1954 version of Godzilla, directed by Ishirō Honda. Very good indeed.

An early role for Jennifer Connelly. Strange film, and not very good.

Very obvious, but OK.

Dekalog -- Nine (1989)

A farcical take on the ninth commandment's injunction against coveting more.

.5