An autopsy professor was giving

an introductory lecture to a class of students.

Standing over a corpse, he addressed the class.

“There are two things you need to make a career

in medical forensics.

First, you must have no fear.”

Having said that,

he shoved his finger up the corpse’s anus and licked it.

“Now you must do the same,” he told the class.

After a couple of minutes of uneasy silence,

the class did as instructed.

“Second,” the professor continued,

“you must have an acute sense of observation.

For instance,

how many of you noticed that I put my middle

finger up this man’s anus,

but licked my index finger?”

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A married couple were in a terrible accident

in which the woman’s face was severely burned.

The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft

any skin from her body because she was too thin.

So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was

suitable would have to come from his buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one

about where the skin came from,

and requested that the doctor also honour their secret.

After the surgery was completed,

everyone was astounded at the woman’s new beauty.

She looked more beautiful than she ever had before!

All her friends and relatives just went on and on about

her youthful beauty!

One day, she was alone with her husband,

and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice.

She said,

”Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me.

There is no way I could ever repay you.”

“My darling,” he replied,

”Think nothing of it.

I get all the thanks I need every time I see

your mother kiss you on the cheek.”

[Edited 1/4/18 10:06am]

happy Friday King!