i said "AMAZIN 8"

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Johnny was at school and the teacher said,

"Someone use fascinate in a sentence."

Sally answered, "The zoo was fascinating."

The teacher said,

"Sorry, Sally, I said to use fascinate in a sentence."

Maria suggested, "I was fascinated at the zoo."

Once again the teacher said,

"No, Maria, I specifically said to use fascinate in a sentence."

Johnny said, "My sister has ten buttons on her sweater."

Again the teacher said,

"Sorry, Johnny, I said use fascinate in a sentence."

Johnny replied,

"I know, but her boobs are so big

she can only fasten eight."

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I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing

from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home,

all the signs were there.
____________________________________________________________

Q: How do astronomers organize a party?
A: They planet.
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Did you hear about the guy

whose whole left side was cut off?

He's all right now.

____________________________________________________________

A drunk walks into a bar

with jumper cables around his neck.

The bartender says,

"You can stay

but don't try to start anything."

____________________________________________________________

Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female,

because it doesn't let you finish a sentence

before making a suggestion.

____________________________________________________________

A man asks his wife,

"What would you do if I won the lottery?"

His wife says,

"Take half and leave your ass!"

The man replies,

"Great! I won 12 bucks,

here is six,

now get out!"

_____________________________________________________________

A man comes home,

finds his wife in bed with another man, and asks,

“What is this?!?”

The wife turns to her lover and says,

“See, I told you he was stupid!”

_____________________________________________________________

BADD!!!

Good ones!