The other thread died a natural death and I guess all the real filmophiles are out watching films, but guess what?

I watched a flick!

Last night here's what we had:

Primo seats at the Booze and Chow Movie Theater

Love Me Tenders with cream gravy and Texas Toast

A whole bottle of decent wine

and.......

Baby Driver!








Boy, did it ever happen! (If you don't love that gif with all your heart, we can't be friends.)

Let's set this up - Booze; an action movie; Mrs. RodeoSchro; wine; lots of car chases; more booze and lots more wine; reclining seats; Kevin Spacey; and booze paired with wine! What else could you ask for?

Well to be honest, a middle that is interesting. This is a movie that has a pretty good opening, an ending where they threw every single thing they could thought of but somehow pulled it off; but a middle that dragged on.

But it has the REAL Motherf***er Jones!

Did you see "Horrible Bosses"? You should, it's great! In it, Jamie Foxx plays a supposed criminal named Motherf***er Jones. But in reality, that was actually Motherf***er Jones Lite. Because in "Baby Driver", he is REALLY Motherf***er Jones!

Baby (no, that's not his real name but for some reason that's what he calls himself) is a driver. A good one, too. Faithful readers of mine know that I hate backstories (I'm looking at you, every single Marvel movie ever made). But this flick could have used a little backstory. So the kid was in a car crash, which leads him to always have to listen to music and perform White Girls Dancing To Funky Music montages every time he walks down the street. The first time he did that, all I could think of was, "Hey, look at Ferris Bueller go!" And I was NOT yet buzzed on my movie theater-quality wine, either.

WHY was he such a good driver? Unless I got ultra drunk and blacked out somewhere along the line, they never told us. All I remember is that he boosted Kevin Spacey's car but Kevin Spacey caught him and put Baby in his debt. Did Kevin Spacey teach him how to drive? I could buy that because I believe Kevin Spacey could teach anyone to do anything. But they never told us, so as far as I know Baby learned his mad driving skillz on a Nintendo machine while listening to Trex on on his bejangled iPod.

Baby drives what is supposed to be his last job for Kevin Spacey, who uses a new set of gangsters every job. But it's not REALLY his last job because Kevin Spacey says he will hurt the deaf foster father Baby takes care of, as well as the waitress who Baby loves. So there is another job to do.

For the next job, the awesome Jon Hamm is paired with his hot squeeze, and this time they are joined by Motherf***er Jones. Motherf***er Jones really likes robbing people and killing them if at all possible. Baby thwarts one of Motherf***er Jones's attempts to kill someone, which makes an enemy of Motherf***er Jones. To top it off, Motherf***er Jones looked funny at Jon Hamm's squeeze, so she wants Jon Hamm to kill Motherf***er Jones. You will too, because Motherf***er Jones needs killing!

The job goes wrong - I forget why but I assume Motherf***er Jones screwed it up, and then lots of other stuff happens. Jon Hamm, it turns out, is impossible to kill. Heck, I saw him get shot, run over, shot again, dumped off a seven-story garage onto a burning car which then exploded, and I'm still not sure he's dead. Look for him to appear in the sequel!

Although Jon Hamm is impossible to kill, it turns out that Motherf***er Jones is not. But SPOILER ALERT, and I guess I should have typed SPOILER ALERT earlier but if you don't know the drill in these things by now, that's on you and not me, anyway SPOILER ALERT it's Baby that kills him. Turns out Motherf***er Jones does not believe in seat belts and as we all learned in Drivers Ed, seat belts save lives. Motherf***er Jones probablu cut class the day they taught us that.

This is a good movie to get really blitzed on wine - it helps enhance the experience! In fact, this is a good movie to watch for about 45 minutes, then go to the movie bar and enjoy a nice long drink, and then return to your seat for the finish. Hey, you could do worse!

I rate "Baby Driver" as 6.5 Motherf***er Jones's out of 10 Motherf***er Joneses.

inside llewyn davis - 4/5 week in the life of a bohemian folkie (who generally reeks of jerkyness) trying to make a go of it in the 60s greenwich village scene. this look at a talented, gifted guy doomed to be a miserable failure was already interesting, but it's made even better by some really great music, quite a bit of it played live, i believe.

also, nobody but me will care about this, but i biked 110k today, my 2nd longest uninterrupted ride ever. the fitness thread has died too, so i'm posting my screenshot of my ride here.

[Edited 7/15/17 19:44pm]

^Wow! I care! That is AWESOME. And I'll make a new fitness thread right now.

Baby Driver- 7.5 out of 10

What a fun movie.

*Minor spoilers ahead

First and foremost you have to know that there is a lot of music and love for music in this film. There is a lot of warmth amongst the action and killing.

Lastly, everyone gets's their comeuppance. That is always something missing in movies where even likable people commit crimes and get away with them.

Amongst all the mayhem we see in movies, it is my opinion that we need to see more people face the consequences no matter how preposterous or light-hearted the story. That's always been a huge pet peeve for me, and here we get just that.


My main complaint about this movie is the way over-long ending. Wow, end already. The Terminator and horror movie meme of a bad-guy that just won't die is too much for this movie.

So that's my main complaint. One that editing could have easily fixed. Sure there are HUGE plot holes if you stop and think about them, as I did later, but it's not meant to be anything but mindless entertainment. So it gets a pass on that from me.

[Edited 7/16/17 12:20pm]

The Summer of Kurt continues with "Bone Tomahawk".

HOLY MOLEY.

People got Bone Tomahawked all over the place! Yikes! I am glad I watched this by myself and did not subject Mrs. RodeoSchro to this. I do not think Bone Tomahawking is her kind of thing.

I'm not even sure it's MY kind of thing!

The movie begins with two bad dudes slitting the throats of sleeping cowboys in order to rob them. But they hear horses and so retreat into some rocks - and straight into the arms of the Bone Tomahawkers, who are actually cannibalistic Troglodytes that live in caves and eat their mothers.

One of the two dudes is inexplicably not killed and makes his way to Sheriff Kurt Russell's town. Of course Kurt Russell makes him for a bad dude and shoots him in the leg. Various things happen, and then when everyone wakes up, one guy is dead and the bad guy, a deputy, and the doctor's assistant are missing. The doctor's assistant is a woman and her husband is a cowboy who is nursing a broken leg.

It's determined that the people were kidnapped by Bone Tomahawkers so a posse is formed, led by Kurt Russell, his reserve deputy, the guy with the broken leg, and a dandy. But the dandy likes killing Indians, seeing as how Indians apparently killed his mother and sisters when he was young.

The posse makes it one day into a three-day ride and thenm bummer! Their horses are stolen! So they have to walk the rest of the way, which is not optimal when it comes to the guy with the broken leg. He is further distressed because it's his wife the Bone Tomahawkers have kidnapped, and he is determined to make it one way or the other. But he re-breaks his leg while punching out the dandy, and the others have no choice but to leave him behind.

The now-three-man posse makes it to the Valley of The Bone Tomahawkers and kill a few but the dandy ends up dying. Kurt Russell and the reserve deputy are captured. They are jailed, and it turns out the doctor's assistant/wife of the broken leg guy and the missing deputy are jailed in the same cave. The deputy is drugged or something and is unconscious, but the lady tells Kurt Russell that the Bone Tomahawkers ate the bad guy - the guy that Kurt Russell had shot in the leg earlier.

Some Bone Tomahawkers show up and they look like The Predator. Unfortunately, Arnold Schwarzenegger is nowhere to be found. The Bone Tomahawkers drag the deputy out of his cell, wake him up, scalp him, and then split him down the middle. Gross! Then they eat him.

Kurt Russell settles on a plan to poison the Bone Tomahawkers with the opium stuff he has in a flask. He and the reserve deputy pretend to be fighting over it, which completely tricks three Bone Tomahawkers into drinking it. But bad news! The main Predator Bone Tomahawker figures out it was poison after one of the Bone Tomahawkers dies, so he drags Kurt Russell out of his cell, splits open his stomach, and sticks the flask in it. Ouch!

But luckily the guy with the broken leg - who had been left behind - had come to, followed the signs to the Bone Tomahawkers's cave, and shows up at the nick of time. While he's blasting away Bone Tomahawkers, Kurt Russell picks up a Bone Tomahawk and Bone Tomahawk's the head off the main Predator Bone Tomahawker. Justice!

Oh, I forgot - in one gross scene, the broken leg guy kills a few Bone Tomahawkers and sees something implanted in the throat of a dead Bone Tomahawker. He cuts it out and figures out it's a whistle that makes really loud, creepy sounds. He uses it as a way to lure Bone Tomahawkers into various traps, and then kills the Bone Tomahawkers.

So anyway, the survivors leave Kurt Russell behind, as he is mortally wounded and knows it. They figure there are three Bone Tomahawkers still alive, so they leave Kurt Russell a rifle. They're about a mile down the road to freedom when they hear three rifle shots, They figure this means Kurt Russell has killed the three remaining Bone Tomahawkers, so they drop the rocks they were going to use as weapons. But they don’t go back to see if they can help Kurt Russell.

Nor do they kill the two female Bone Tomahawkers who were pregnant. For some reason the male Bone Tomahawkers had cut the arms and legs off the pregnant female Bone Tomahawkers, and stuck wooden stakes in their eyes. But if the female Bone Tomahawkers are 1/10th as badass as the male Bone Tomahawkers, then that’s no obstacle to them raising their babies into more Predator Bone Tomahawkers. Despite the fact that pretty much all the good guys had sticks of dynamite on them, we never hear any explosions; therefore, we must assume that approximately 15 years later, the Bone Tomahawkers got their revenge.

Or worse – their descendants may still be around and on some dark moonless night, they are coming to Bone Tomahawk YOU.

The end.

Man, this movie was INTENSE. It moves slow but when the action does occur, it's pretty nerve-wracking. Kurt Russell, while the star of the movie, doesn't really do a whole lot in it. He's mainly just Kurt Russell. So this movie isn't a bad movie to kick off the Summer of Kurt Russell, but I'm looking forward to movies where Kurt Russell has more of a Kurt-Russell type role.

I rate Bone Tomahawk 3 1/2 Implanted Throat Whistles out of 5 Implanted Throat Whistles. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeooooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeettttttttttttttttttttttt!

(NOTE: If that whistle summons up any remaining Bone Tomahawkers, and they Bone Tomahawk you or someone you love, then I'm sorry about that.)

.

[Edited 7/17/17 8:11am]

Ugot2shakesumthin said:

Baby Driver- 7.5 out of 10

What a fun movie.

*Minor spoilers ahead

First and foremost you have to know that there is a lot of music and love for music in this film. There is a lot of warmth amongst the action and killing.

Lastly, everyone gets's their comeuppance. That is always something missing in movies where even likable people commit crimes and get away with them.

Amongst all the mayhem we see in movies, it is my opinion that we need to see more people face the consequences no matter how preposterous or light-hearted the story. That's always been a huge pet peeve for me, and here we get just that.


My main complaint about this movie is the way over-long ending. Wow, end already. The Terminator and horror movie meme of a bad-guy that just won't die is too much for this movie.

So that's my main complaint. One that editing could have easily fixed. Sure there are HUGE plot holes if you stop and think about them, as I did later, but it's not meant to be anything but mindless entertainment. So it gets a pass on that from me.

[Edited 7/16/17 12:20pm]

The soundtrack was amazing .......Baby Driver SOUNDTRACK ANALYSIS - How Edgar Wright Created An Action Musical (spoilers). I bought it the very day I watched the film....that is how much I loved it.

Question for all my Bone Tomahawkers - what happened to dandy Mr. Brooder? The last thing I remember was that they left him with a cigar and a stick of dynamite. But that's it.

Did I forget an explosion or something? Or did the film makers forget about Mr. Brooder?

Never mind, according to wikipedia he got killed. I do wonder though, why they made a big deal of giving him dynamite when they never let him use it. In fact, IIRC, even though the posse took all the dynamite they could find in town, they never set off a stick of it?

.

[Edited 7/17/17 7:57am]

Goddess4Real said:

Moonrise Kingdom (2012)

One of Wes Anderson's best films.

War of the Planet of the Apes (2017)

The weakest installment to date. The second act brought the film to a near halt. Billed as a "final showdown" movie, it was really Then Ten Commandments with apes. The effects were amazing, and the nods to the original series were neat, but still, it's the most disappointing film of the year thus far.

.5

RodeoSchro said:

Question for all my Bone Tomahawkers - what happened to dandy Mr. Brooder? The last thing I remember was that they left him with a cigar and a stick of dynamite. But that's it.

Did I forget an explosion or something? Or did the film makers forget about Mr. Brooder?

Never mind, according to wikipedia he got killed. I do wonder though, why they made a big deal of giving him dynamite when they never let him use it. In fact, IIRC, even though the posse took all the dynamite they could find in town, they never set off a stick of it?

.

[Edited 7/17/17 7:57am]

i think they lost most of the dynamite when their camp was raided - or they had to leave it behind, since they lost their horses at that point. it's only been 5 days or so since i watched it, but my hold on those plot-points has loosened.

RodeoSchro said:

Question for all my Bone Tomahawkers - what happened to dandy Mr. Brooder? The last thing I remember was that they left him with a cigar and a stick of dynamite. But that's it.

Did I forget an explosion or something? Or did the film makers forget about Mr. Brooder?

Never mind, according to wikipedia he got killed. I do wonder though, why they made a big deal of giving him dynamite when they never let him use it. In fact, IIRC, even though the posse took all the dynamite they could find in town, they never set off a stick of it?

.

[Edited 7/17/17 7:57am]

i think maybe because if you were living then and you were setting off to face an unknown adversary and you had some dynamite, you might take it along. also, brooder was a goner. they knew it. there was nothing to be done. nice knowing you brooder...that's the way shit went down. death was hardly as dramatic then. people died. a lot.

i'm glad you and damo enjoyed it on my recommendation. as he said, it's definitely a movie that deserves to be discovered. i love the pace of it, the quietness...it sets it's own, slow, contemporary tone very effectively and then shocks you upside the dome for a completely unexpected twist.

it's one of those i'll forever wish i could watch again for the first time.

a serious man 4/5 the coens at their lovably bizarre, bitterly funny best.

peedub said:

RodeoSchro said:

Question for all my Bone Tomahawkers - what happened to dandy Mr. Brooder? The last thing I remember was that they left him with a cigar and a stick of dynamite. But that's it.

Did I forget an explosion or something? Or did the film makers forget about Mr. Brooder?

Never mind, according to wikipedia he got killed. I do wonder though, why they made a big deal of giving him dynamite when they never let him use it. In fact, IIRC, even though the posse took all the dynamite they could find in town, they never set off a stick of it?

.

[Edited 7/17/17 7:57am]

i think maybe because if you were living then and you were setting off to face an unknown adversary and you had some dynamite, you might take it along. also, brooder was a goner. they knew it. there was nothing to be done. nice knowing you brooder...that's the way shit went down. death was hardly as dramatic then. people died. a lot.

i'm glad you and damo enjoyed it on my recommendation. as he said, it's definitely a movie that deserves to be discovered. i love the pace of it, the quietness...it sets it's own, slow, contemporary tone very effectively and then shocks you upside the dome for a completely unexpected twist.

it's one of those i'll forever wish i could watch again for the first time.

it probably would have sat in my queue forever (or until it expired from netlix) if you hadn't given me the initiative to give it a chance, so thank you for prompting me to watch a movie that i truly enjoyed a lot!

namepeace said:

War of the Planet of the Apes (2017)

The weakest installment to date. The second act brought the film to a near halt. Billed as a "final showdown" movie, it was really Then Ten Commandments with apes. The effects were amazing, and the nods to the original series were neat, but still, it's the most disappointing film of the year thus far.

.5

saw it last night....and agree with everything you said here. while i think it's a good movie, it moved way too slow. i think i would enjoy it more on a second viewing, but it's length and pace will probably deny the possibility. i've been a huge 'planet of the apes' fan since i was just a kid. 'battle for...' and 'war for...' have been huge disappointments for me.

peedub said:

RodeoSchro said:

Question for all my Bone Tomahawkers - what happened to dandy Mr. Brooder? The last thing I remember was that they left him with a cigar and a stick of dynamite. But that's it.

Did I forget an explosion or something? Or did the film makers forget about Mr. Brooder?

Never mind, according to wikipedia he got killed. I do wonder though, why they made a big deal of giving him dynamite when they never let him use it. In fact, IIRC, even though the posse took all the dynamite they could find in town, they never set off a stick of it?

.

[Edited 7/17/17 7:57am]

i think maybe because if you were living then and you were setting off to face an unknown adversary and you had some dynamite, you might take it along. also, brooder was a goner. they knew it. there was nothing to be done. nice knowing you brooder...that's the way shit went down. death was hardly as dramatic then. people died. a lot.

i'm glad you and damo enjoyed it on my recommendation. as he said, it's definitely a movie that deserves to be discovered. i love the pace of it, the quietness...it sets it's own, slow, contemporary tone very effectively and then shocks you upside the dome for a completely unexpected twist.

it's one of those i'll forever wish i could watch again for the first time.

Sure, it's just that the film made a point of them both taking dynamite, and then leaving some with that dandy Brooder. It's unusual for a plot to contain elements completely unnecessary to the movie, and yet that's often times what makes my reviews possible!

Speaking of that, I watched one of my favorite "Big Bang Theory" episodes last night. It was the one where Sheldon and Amy watched "Raiders of the Lost Ark" and Amy tells Sheldon that Indiana Jones was completely unnecessary to the plot of the movie. If he hadn't been in it at all, everything would have still happened pretty much exactly as it did.

The guys could never refute that, LOL.

What do y'all think? Was Indiana Jones completely irrelevant? If not, why not? What did he do that made the story end up the way it did?

You can thank me for ruining your day in another thread, LOL.

peedub said:

namepeace said:

War of the Planet of the Apes (2017)

The weakest installment to date. The second act brought the film to a near halt. Billed as a "final showdown" movie, it was really Then Ten Commandments with apes. The effects were amazing, and the nods to the original series were neat, but still, it's the most disappointing film of the year thus far.

.5

saw it last night....and agree with everything you said here. while i think it's a good movie, it moved way too slow. i think i would enjoy it more on a second viewing, but it's length and pace will probably deny the possibility. i've been a huge 'planet of the apes' fan since i was just a kid. 'battle for...' and 'war for...' have been huge disappointments for me.

The series has regressed with each film. The focus was taken off of the apes as a whole and was too inwardly focused on Caesar's personal rivalries.

namepeace said:

Moonrise Kingdom (2012)

One of Wes Anderson's best films.

Love this movie!

namepeace said:

Moonrise Kingdom (2012)

One of Wes Anderson's best films.

My favorite of all the Wes Anderson movies I've seen.

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

Tom Holland is the best actor to play Spider-Man so far. I liked this more than the last two MCU entries, Doctor Strange and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. 4/5

RodeoSchro said:

sexton said:

namepeace said:

Moonrise Kingdom (2012)

One of Wes Anderson's best films.

My favorite of all the Wes Anderson movies I've seen.

It's arguably his best.

Royal Tenenbaums remains my favorite but that fan club seems to be really small, even among Wes-philes.

sexton said:

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

Tom Holland is the best actor to play Spider-Man so far. I liked this more than the last two MCU entries, Doctor Strange and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. 4/5

i definitely think this is the best representation of peter parker/spider-man yet, & i really enjoyed the high school setting. my only complaint with the movie, besides some of the action feeling a bit rote (almost all the cb films feel that way now to me, really) is that i wish that more would have been done with the high school elements & those characters. regardless, i'd definitely rate this as one of the top-tier marvel films. 4/5

[Edited 7/18/17 19:42pm]

Dudes & Dragons (2015) (...No Stars, No NOTHING, I can't right now...)

That movie was Bloody awful...Even Luke Perry's pretty face could not save it...

forbidden zone (1980) 3.5/5 - incredibly strange musical. imagine a slightly more easy-going, less transgressive (though it has some moments) take on john waters. the songs (by danny elfman) are fun, even great at times. weird, a bit gross now and then, occasionally annoying, & only 75 minutes long. i thought it was pretty terrific.

[Edited 7/21/17 7:41am]

Wow... Y'all DIDN'T like War for the Planet of the Apes?

I thought it was the best since Part I, although it does have its share of nods to Apocalypse Now.(This would've been inherent to any psychotic guy who espoused fear through threatening intimidating "leadership" however, especially if he was ex miiltary)

Yes, it's kinda like an Ape Moses story...but that's intended to make the foundation for the original series oddly enough. (making these a prequel of sorts) ...and the nod to Nova...that was funny.... maybe uneccessary but good for in jokes to fans of the original series.

It also does well to tell the story of humans as iredeemable....which leads to willful "selective memory" in future tales of Ape life....and sounds really plausible...cause that's how our history is written.....selectively by people in power.

It had me tense and gripped and dealt with their very real difficulties just trying to life a separate life. The mutating human-debilitating disease (though never "scientifically" EXPLAINED/rather suggested) was a good turmoil to make Caesar a redeemable person from his OWN hell... he spared the very asshole who murdered his family and saw his own pain as he saw himself fading away.

Mercy.

ANYWAYS... I thought that film was great 9/10 (cause 10 either has to mean it was incredible and changed my life or was soooo awesome and close to my mindset that it became a FAVORITE and made it up to 10)

Cinematography/Captures/Scenarios? 10/10 that film was shot and made use of nature as a second character almost in such a BEAUTIFUL...arresting way. Many scenes were immense and incredible.

The composition of Caesar's death was just beautiful...can't put it any other way. The film LOOK is incredible... Goes to show what a waste Tarantino did with the 70mm format he shot The H8ful Eight with.... this movie was obscenely beautiful.

BUT THEN AGAIN....I SAW IT OFF HOLLYWOOD BLVD at the VISTA THEATER....where they only have one screen...but God, was the presentation LOUD, CLEAR and IMMACULATE....

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++



Anyways....

Last movie I saw: (last night) BABY DRIVER

Cute film that pretends its a crime mob flick, but really pulls out the stops as fun entertainment. I'm partial to QUEEN so the pay offs were pretty funny to me. Also loved the inclusion of Sam & Dave's most beautiful song.

That said....the lead actor isn't very engaging, the film reads like a comic book....which it basically is...Spacey is clowny in a bad wig, Foxx is pretty good in his role, but the tempo of the film doesn't disengage from the director's hold (tight, quick cuts) enough to let his character permeate anything. Second villain guy (don't know his name) is somewhat compelling in a B-Movie manner.... pretty enjoyable "romp" is what they'd call it. 7/10

(pretty damn entertaining...but the lady friend she didnt like it so much.... If you're a musician or music fan, you'll dig the humor, and identify with someone who basically surrounds himself with music)

Either way... I enjoyed it.

With as hot and humid as it's been you'd think I'd run to the nearest movie house to just chill for some hours, but nope, it's been like forever. Haven't even been doing RedBox either. Even the last Netflix I watched was Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, which was very good and even that's been too long ago.

Keep falling behind on my tv shows I spend movie time, binging.

I'mma try to go watch something bizarre (not by org standards, more like whales or something) this weekend to get my out of this new norm.

RodeoSchro said:

the big sick 3/5 an awful lot of this movie involved people talking about their feelings in a way that felt very artificial, even melodramatic & soap-opera-ish at times to me. there are some clever lines & funny moments (mostly involving holly hunter & ray romano) but i felt pretty indifferent to this overall.