let's do lunch...

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Thread started 06/30/17 4:01am

KingBAD

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let's do lunch...

Two toddlers, a boy and a girl, lived across the street from each other.

Both dearly loved chicken salad.

Each day, they took turns having lunch

at his house or hers and they always ate chicken salad.

This continued until they were ready to start school.

The day before school started, their mothers found them crying.

When asked why they were crying,

they responded that they could no longer eat their chicken salad together.

The mothers comforted them with the promised that they would pack their lunches and they could still eat chicken salad together every day. The children took their chicken salad sandwiches every day and always ate together.

When they were about 11 years old, the girl unpacked her lunch one day and the boy, startled, said:

"That's not chicken salad. You said you were going to eat chicken salad every day for the rest of your natural life. What's THAT stuff?" To which, the girl said: "This is peanut butter and jelly.

I still love chicken salad but I can't eat it any more."
Boy: "Why not?"
Girl: "Because I'm growing feathers!"
Boy: "You are not!"
Girl: "Yes, I am. I'm growing feathers and can't eat chicken salad any more!"
Boy: "I don't believe you - let me see."
Girl: "I can't show you my feathers."
Boy: "I don't believe you." So the girl agrees to show him her feathers and they proceed around the building to a solitary spot and she drops her panties.
Boy: "Wow! You ARE growing feathers.

Well, I'm not and I'm going to eat chicken salad for the rest of my natural life."
Well, every day, the girl ate peanut butter and jelly and the boy at his chicken salad. When they were 13, the boy unpacked his lunch. The girl, sniffing, exclaimed: "That's not chicken salad! You said you were going to eat chicken salad the rest of your natural life. What's THAT stuff?" To which the boy responded: "Tuna salad. I can't eat chicken salad any more. I'm growing feathers, too!" Girl: "Let me see."
Boy: "Oh, no! I couldn't possibly show you my feathers."
Girl retorts: "I showed you mine."
Boy: "Well, I guess fair is fair. You did show me yours." They went around the building again and he dropped his pants. The girl's mouth dropped open and she exclaimed: "You're not only growing feathers, you're growing the neck and the gizzard, too!"

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking

STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...

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Reply #1 posted 06/30/17 4:30am

XxAxX

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happy Friday! biggrin

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Reply #2 posted 06/30/17 4:56am

HuMpThAnG	BADD!!!
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Reply #3 posted 06/30/17 11:35am

KingBAD

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Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle
please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking

STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...

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Reply #4 posted 06/30/17 12:56pm

purplethunder3
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