A farmer is sitting on the front porch of his house one hot summer day, when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a big bundle of wire.

"Hey kid!" the farmer says, "Where ya goin' with that wire?"
The kid drawls, "This here ain't just any ol' wire, this here's chicken wire. I'm fixin' to catch me some chickens!"

!!!!

BADD!!

Speaking of farmers...

.

Barry Farmer got into his Toyota 4 by 4 and drove to the neighbouring ranch and knocked at the door. A young boy, Neil, aged about 9, opened the door.

'Is yer Dad home?' Barry demanded.
'No, sir, he ain't,' Neil replied. 'He went into town.'

'Well, then,' inquired Barry, 'is yer Mom here?'
'No, sir, she ain't here neither. She went into town with Dad.'

'How about your brother? Is he here?'
'He went with Mom and Dad,' explained Neil patiently.

Barry Farmer stood there for a few seconds, shifting from one foot to the other and muttering to himself.

'Is there anything I can do fer ya?' Neil asked politely. 'I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one. Or maybe I could take a message fer Dad.'

'Well, it's difficult,' answered Barry uncomfortably, 'I really wanted to talk to yer Dad. It's about your brother getting my daughter pregnant.'

Neil considered for a moment, 'You would have to talk to Pa about that,' he finally conceded. 'If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $600 for the bull and $60 for the hog, but I really don't know how much he gets fer Howard.'

[Edited 1/6/17 16:38pm]

KB are you now our offical Friday guy?

A young man from the city proposed to his girfirend, who had grown up on a farm. She said "yes" but she also said, "You have to get my father's blessing before I can marry you". So he got in his car and drove out to the family farm.

"If you want to marry my daughter," said the father, "then you have to prove you're up to the task, if you know what I mean. You see that cow out there? You've got to make love to that cow to prove you've got the right stuff".

The man is repulsed but says, "Anything for my love!" so he goes out and screws the cow. "Not bad," says the father, "but I'm not convinced. See that sheep over there? Go satisfy one, let's see if you can do that". Again the man says, "Anything for my love!" and screws the sheep.

The father says, "Well, I'm almost convinced. If you can take that pig in the pen over there, I think we have a son-in-law!" The man doesn't want to do it but again says "Anything for my love!" and screws the pig.

The father puts his arm around the man and says, "Congratulations boy, and welcome to the family". To which the man replies, "Forget that! How much do you want for that pig?!?"

morningsong said:

KB are you now our offical Friday guy?

erbody want that spot, huh???

i let em go whenever... HOWEVER

since i was left that mantle by a great

i'll spend a friday listenin til i find somethin....

RodeoSchro said:

A young man from the city proposed to his girfirend, who had grown up on a farm. She said "yes" but she also said, "You have to get my father's blessing before I can marry you". So he got in his car and drove out to the family farm.

"If you want to marry my daughter," said the father, "then you have to prove you're up to the task, if you know what I mean. You see that cow out there? You've got to make love to that cow to prove you've got the right stuff".

The man is repulsed but says, "Anything for my love!" so he goes out and screws the cow. "Not bad," says the father, "but I'm not convinced. See that sheep over there? Go satisfy one, let's see if you can do that". Again the man says, "Anything for my love!" and screws the sheep.

The father says, "Well, I'm almost convinced. If you can take that pig in the pen over there, I think we have a son-in-law!" The man doesn't want to do it but again says "Anything for my love!" and screws the pig.

The father puts his arm around the man and says, "Congratulations boy, and welcome to the family". To which the man replies, "Forget that! How much do you want for that pig?!?"

i guess this means we'll be seein

some friday shit from you too... huh???

KingBAD said:

RodeoSchro said:

A young man from the city proposed to his girfirend, who had grown up on a farm. She said "yes" but she also said, "You have to get my father's blessing before I can marry you". So he got in his car and drove out to the family farm.

"If you want to marry my daughter," said the father, "then you have to prove you're up to the task, if you know what I mean. You see that cow out there? You've got to make love to that cow to prove you've got the right stuff".

The man is repulsed but says, "Anything for my love!" so he goes out and screws the cow. "Not bad," says the father, "but I'm not convinced. See that sheep over there? Go satisfy one, let's see if you can do that". Again the man says, "Anything for my love!" and screws the sheep.

The father says, "Well, I'm almost convinced. If you can take that pig in the pen over there, I think we have a son-in-law!" The man doesn't want to do it but again says "Anything for my love!" and screws the pig.

The father puts his arm around the man and says, "Congratulations boy, and welcome to the family". To which the man replies, "Forget that! How much do you want for that pig?!?"

i guess this means we'll be seein

some friday shit from you too... huh???

I nominate King Badd and RodeoSchro as the official Friday jokesters.