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Thread started 09/10/16 5:30pm

QueenofCardboa
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IRONY -- Your Own Real Life Stories -- Can You Top This One?

.

IRONY -- Your Own Real Life Stories

.

Can You Top This One?

.

Once I bailed my lawyer out of jail.

.

[Edited 9/14/16 14:15pm]

"I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose voters," Donald Trump
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Reply #1 posted 09/11/16 7:17am

KingBAD

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QueenofCardboard said:

.

IRONY -- Real Life Stories

.

Can You Top This One?

.

Once I bailed my lawyer out of jail.

.

[Edited 9/10/16 17:31pm]

i had a judge make a detective

apologize to me in court...

we ended up livin together

(me and the cop)

after she quit her job...

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #2 posted 09/11/16 12:38pm

QueenofCardboa
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KingBAD said:

i had a judge make a detective

apologize to me in court...

we ended up livin together

(me and the cop)

after she quit her job...

.

That's pretty good. lol

It sounds like you and she might have had something going on before she quit.

Unless it was like in the movies where the man and the woman start out fighting before they give into their true feelings.

.

[Edited 9/11/16 18:57pm]

"I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose voters," Donald Trump
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Reply #3 posted 09/11/16 4:46pm

KingBAD

avatar

QueenofCardboard said:

KingBAD said:

i had a judge make a detective

apologize to me in court...

we ended up livin together

(me and the cop)

after she quit her job...

.

Thats pretty good. lol

It sounds like you and she might have had something going on before she quit.

Unless it was like in the movies where the man and the woman start out fighting before they give into their true feelings.

.

[Edited 9/11/16 12:40pm]

she spent two years tryin to build her case

i killed it all in a two hour testimony...

she 'shakabukued' me into the sgi

and fukked around for a minit BUT

she had a husband and i don't fukkk

around like that...

five years after that she was unmarried

and no longer a cop and i was free

(i believe this to have been my mid life crisis)

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #4 posted 09/11/16 4:55pm

QueenofCardboa
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KingBAD said:

QueenofCardboard said:

.

Thats pretty good. lol

It sounds like you and she might have had something going on before she quit.

Unless it was like in the movies where the man and the woman start out fighting before they give into their true feelings.

.

[Edited 9/11/16 12:40pm]

she spent two years tryin to build her case

i killed it all in a two hour testimony...

she 'shakabukued' me into the sgi

and fukked around for a minit BUT

she had a husband and i don't fukkk

around like that...

five years after that she was unmarried

and no longer a cop and i was free

(i believe this to have been my mid life crisis)

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

.

I am sorry but I have no idea what that means.

.

"I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose voters," Donald Trump
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Reply #5 posted 09/11/16 5:38pm

Pokeno4Money

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Okay, this is 100% real and I think it will be hard to top.

I was living with a relative in their house for a while, paying a decent monthly sum for the guest bedroom and use of the kitchen, living room, etc.

After a while the relative learned through local rental listings he could be getting more money by renting out my room.

So he kicked me out on short notice (barely 2 weeks) and brought in a 20-something guy, ironically from the same area I'm originally from.

Not cool to kick out a blood relative on short notice just to make more money, right?

Well, about a month later the relative noticed the renter hadn't left his room in about a week and it was smelling kinda funky. So he finally opened the guest room door, and what did he find?

The renter dude was long dead, drug overdose.

My relative was so traumatized, he hasn't stayed in the house since.

If that ain't irony, I don't know what is.

Greed is never a good thing.

"Never let nasty stalkers disrespect you. They start shit, you finish it. Go down to their level, that's the only way they'll understand. You have to handle things yourself."
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Reply #6 posted 09/11/16 5:52pm

QueenofCardboa
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Pokeno4Money said:

Okay, this is 100% real and I think it will be hard to top.

I was living with a relative in their house for a while, paying a decent monthly sum for the guest bedroom and use of the kitchen, living room, etc.

After a while the relative learned through local rental listings he could be getting more money by renting out my room.

So he kicked me out on short notice (barely 2 weeks) and brought in a 20-something guy, ironically from the same area I'm originally from.

Not cool to kick out a blood relative on short notice just to make more money, right?

Well, about a month later the relative noticed the renter hadn't left his room in about a week and it was smelling kinda funky. So he finally opened the guest room door, and what did he find?

The renter dude was long dead, drug overdose.

My relative was so traumatized, he hasn't stayed in the house since.

If that ain't irony, I don't know what is.

Greed is never a good thing.

.

OMG

Ironic Carma

Your story is kinda like something out of the movie Pulp Fiction.

I think you win on shock value alone.

.

"I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose voters," Donald Trump
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Reply #7 posted 09/13/16 2:12pm

NorthC

I can't top Pokeno's story on shock value, but I do have a story that is just... strange... I guess everybody has had an experience where you meet someone who looks familiar and talks to you as if you know him/her, but you just don't remember where you know that person from...

Okay, here we go...
Two years ago, I was travelling through Peru. I was going from Lima to Cusco and once I was there, I went looking for a school to refresh my Spanish and I found one that was run by a fellow Dutchman who was wearing glasses. (This becomes important later on.) So I signed up, went back to my hotel and decided to go look for another hotel closer to the school. I took a taxi, but we couldn't find the hotel I was looking for, so I decided to get out of the taxi. Going through my backpack, I noticed that I lost my wallet. So there I was, standing on a street in Cusco, going through my backpack and on the other side of the street, there was a man walking who talked to me in Dutch, saying, hi, how you're doing? I thought it was the man from the school who was on a break and had taken off his glasses, so I explained the situation and said, I'll be okay, and he kept walking.
I finally found both a hotel and my wallet back and went back to the school and told the Dutch owner this story. He said that he had been there all day and couldn't see a thing without his glasses.
So that man on the street wasn't him. But then who was it??? I had been in Cusco only for a few days and didn't know anybody, let alone any Dutch people.
I never saw that man again. Who was he???
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Reply #8 posted 09/13/16 3:29pm

QueenofCardboa
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NorthC said:

I can't top Pokeno's story on shock value, but I do have a story that is just... strange... I guess everybody has had an experience where you meet someone who looks familiar and talks to you as if you know him/her, but you just don't remember where you know that person from... Okay, here we go... Two years ago, I was travelling through Peru. I was going from Lima to Cuzco and once I was there, I went looking for a school to refresh my Spanish and I found one that was run by a fellow Dutchman who was wearing glasses. (This becomes important later on.) So I signed up, went back to my hotel and decided to go look for another hotel closer to the school. I took a taxi, but we couldn't find the hotel I was looking for, so I decided to get out of the taxi. Going through my backpack, I noticed that I lost my wallet. So there I was, standing on a street in Cuzco, going through my backpack and on the other side of the street, there was a man walking who talked to me in Dutch, saying, hi, how you're doing? I thought it was the man from the school who was on a break and had taken off his glasses, so I explained the situation and said, I'll be okay, and he kept walking. I finally found both a hotel and my wallet back and went back to the school and told the Dutch owner this story. He said that he had been there all day and couldn't see a thing without his glasses. So that man on the street wasn't him. But then who was it??? I had been in Cuzco only for a few days and didn't know anybody, let alone any Dutch people. I never saw that man again. Who was he???

.

That story is more Twilight Zone than Ironic. Maybe they were evil twins. eek

.

"I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose voters," Donald Trump
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Reply #9 posted 09/13/16 4:58pm

Pokeno4Money

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NorthC said:

I can't top Pokeno's story on shock value, but I do have a story that is just... strange... I guess everybody has had an experience where you meet someone who looks familiar and talks to you as if you know him/her, but you just don't remember where you know that person from... Okay, here we go... Two years ago, I was travelling through Peru. I was going from Lima to Cusco and once I was there, I went looking for a school to refresh my Spanish and I found one that was run by a fellow Dutchman who was wearing glasses. (This becomes important later on.) So I signed up, went back to my hotel and decided to go look for another hotel closer to the school. I took a taxi, but we couldn't find the hotel I was looking for, so I decided to get out of the taxi. Going through my backpack, I noticed that I lost my wallet. So there I was, standing on a street in Cusco, going through my backpack and on the other side of the street, there was a man walking who talked to me in Dutch, saying, hi, how you're doing? I thought it was the man from the school who was on a break and had taken off his glasses, so I explained the situation and said, I'll be okay, and he kept walking. I finally found both a hotel and my wallet back and went back to the school and told the Dutch owner this story. He said that he had been there all day and couldn't see a thing without his glasses. So that man on the street wasn't him. But then who was it??? I had been in Cusco only for a few days and didn't know anybody, let alone any Dutch people. I never saw that man again. Who was he???


How did you get your wallet back? Did you have it somewhere in your backpack?

"Never let nasty stalkers disrespect you. They start shit, you finish it. Go down to their level, that's the only way they'll understand. You have to handle things yourself."
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Reply #10 posted 09/14/16 12:45am

NorthC

^Yeah, I just misplaced it. And it is indeed a bit Twilight Zone. I was thinking of sharing this, but unsure if it deserved a yhread of its own, so I decided to post it here.
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Reply #11 posted 09/14/16 11:46am

RodeoSchro

Yes I can!

Hillary Clinton is taking a couple days off to recuperate from pneumonia. President Obama is out on the trail, campaigning for Hillary Clinton. This infuriates the right wing, who want to know why President Obama isn't in Washington, "doing his job".

So the same people that have complained for almost 8 years about the job President Obama has done are now complaining that he's not doing that job.

I win!

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Reply #12 posted 09/14/16 1:32pm

QueenofCardboa
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.

hijacked

.

It is supposed to be one of your own personal stories.

.

[Edited 9/14/16 14:18pm]

"I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose voters," Donald Trump
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Reply #13 posted 09/14/16 2:32pm

NorthC

I agree, Queenie. There's a Politics & Religion forum for that kind of thing, Rodeo.
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Reply #14 posted 09/14/16 3:51pm

Connected

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Man....I thought my irony was turning into my Dad!

You guys have got paid to that!!!!!

Bailing out my Lawyer!!! - some dysfunctional shit right there!!!! lol lol lol

NorthC - maybe a twlight thread....I have a weird one on that... freaks me out to this very day!!!

~Shakalaka!~..... ~Mayday!~
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Reply #15 posted 09/14/16 4:12pm

NorthC

Okay, Connected, if you've got a story to share, please do.
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Reply #16 posted 09/14/16 5:09pm

Connected

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No problem…we share irony/twighlight…It’s a looooong one!

So…

In another life I was a DJ… from b-boy break…to Chicago/detroit house….to rave (dove pills)….to HipHop... to breakbeat…to trance….to big house etc…

All underlined by a LOVE for the reason why we are all on this forum…. OUR Man…

So I used to have a picture on my bedroom wall…of Batman (Keaton) cut out from “The Times” Newspaper….

And a 12” of Ice Cube “Good Day” in my collection…

I left home went to uni and took my pictures with me…keepsake if you will…

So….I moved around alot… and my copy of Ice went missing…

About 10yrs later…I went on this website to replenish my copy of Ice-Cube “Good Day”…

I can’t recall the site but it had the tagline “If you can’t find it here….”Fuggggetahabouit” (great early vinyl site)

I digress….

So…I receive this record in the post…. Ice Cube 12” Good Day… 10yrs later...

And what was in inside…

The same Batman Picture cut out of “The Times” I used to have on my wall…

Wooooooo….. that can’t be right….

So I delved into my boxes….and had exactly the same newspaper picture still from my wall….

But…… weirdly….both pictures were cut out exactly the same way….

[youtube] https://www.youtube.com/w...[/youtube]

Freaked still!!!!

~Shakalaka!~..... ~Mayday!~
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Reply #17 posted 09/14/16 5:19pm

Connected

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As an aside.....

Will Shatner.....Gremlin.......Twighlight......

Just sublime....

~Shakalaka!~..... ~Mayday!~
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Reply #18 posted 09/14/16 6:16pm

QueenofCardboa
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Connected said:

Man....I thought my irony was turning into my Dad!

You guys have got paid to that!!!!!

Bailing out my Lawyer!!! - some dysfunctional shit right there!!!! lol lol lol

NorthC - maybe a twlight thread....I have a weird one on that... freaks me out to this very day!!!

.

You got that right!

One day my lawyer stopped taking his meds and drove off into the sunset.

Ten days later his wife (a friend of mine) called up my husband and me told us that he was in jail in Los Angeles.

And could we please go get him out since she didn't have a car.

He got arrested at a check point near the Arizona - California border for extreme drunk driving and having an unregistered gun in the car.

He no longer practices law, they got a divorce, I dropped my civil law suit, and we all lived happily ever after. lol lol lol

.

[Edited 9/14/16 18:31pm]

"I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose voters," Donald Trump
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Reply #19 posted 09/14/16 7:55pm

QueenofCardboa
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Connected said:

As an aside.....

Will Shatner.....Gremlin.......Twighlight......

Just sublime....

.

Should we start a "Real Life Stories From The Twighlight Zone" thread?

I like the idea but I don't have any "Twighlight Zone" stories of my own.

.

"I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose voters," Donald Trump
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Reply #20 posted 09/15/16 12:04am

Connected

avatar

QueenofCardboard said:

Connected said:

Man....I thought my irony was turning into my Dad!

You guys have got paid to that!!!!!

Bailing out my Lawyer!!! - some dysfunctional shit right there!!!! lol lol lol

NorthC - maybe a twlight thread....I have a weird one on that... freaks me out to this very day!!!

.

You got that right!

One day my lawyer stopped taking his meds and drove off into the sunset.

Ten days later his wife (a friend of mine) called up my husband and me told us that he was in jail in Los Angeles.

And could we please go get him out since she didn't have a car.

He got arrested at a check point near the Arizona - California border for extreme drunk driving and having an unregistered gun in the car.

He no longer practices law, they got a divorce, I dropped my civil law suit, and we all lived happily ever after. lol lol lol

.

[Edited 9/14/16 18:31pm]


Glad it sorted out in your favour

It does have a whiff of Benicio in "Fearing & Loathing..."

What a story Queen....!!!!!!

One that I will regale down the pub! ------- you are a legend!

~Shakalaka!~..... ~Mayday!~
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Reply #21 posted 09/15/16 12:48pm

KingBAD

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a few months ago i decided i would take up

motorcycle ridin. the plan was to take this

course, get my liscens, buy a bike.

HOWEVER

i happened upon a very good deal on a bike

which changed everything...

this young lady i see from time to time says

"you don't need to be tryin to ride a motorcycle

there is nothin about it that you like"

of course i 'poo pooed' this line of thinkin...

i don't like sunlight, heat, or cold and not one

you could call 'outdoorsie'...

i guess the irony comes in when i called to

tell her that she had been correct in her assessment...

accordin to statistics the average rider has three

crashes on their bikes and the third one is fatal...

i have no idea if this is true BUT i shall not be

testin the validity of those numbers...

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #22 posted 09/15/16 1:15pm

QueenofCardboa
rd

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KingBAD said:

a few months ago i decided i would take up

motorcycle ridin. the plan was to take this

course, get my liscens, buy a bike.

HOWEVER

i happened upon a very good deal on a bike

which changed everything...

this young lady i see from time to time says

"you don't need to be tryin to ride a motorcycle

there is nothin about it that you like"

of course i 'poo pooed' this line of thinkin...

i don't like sunlight, heat, or cold and not one

you could call 'outdoorsie'...

i guess the irony comes in when i called to

tell her that she had been correct in her assessment...

accordin to statistics the average rider has three

crashes on their bikes and the third one is fatal...

i have no idea if this is true BUT i shall not be

testin the validity of those numbers...

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

.

I'm glad that you didn't have to learn it the hard way.

Everyone I know who had a motorcycle got in an accident, got a semi-serious to serious injury and then sold their motocycle.

It doesn't matter how good of a motocyclist you are.

If you mix it it up with cars it's just a matter of time before you get in an accident.

The same is true for bicycles.

One of my friends was hit and killed by a car while he was riding his bike home from work.

.

"I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose voters," Donald Trump
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Reply #23 posted 09/15/16 1:29pm

KingBAD

avatar

QueenofCardboard said:

KingBAD said:

a few months ago i decided i would take up

motorcycle ridin. the plan was to take this

course, get my liscens, buy a bike.

HOWEVER

i happened upon a very good deal on a bike

which changed everything...

this young lady i see from time to time says

"you don't need to be tryin to ride a motorcycle

there is nothin about it that you like"

of course i 'poo pooed' this line of thinkin...

i don't like sunlight, heat, or cold and not one

you could call 'outdoorsie'...

i guess the irony comes in when i called to

tell her that she had been correct in her assessment...

accordin to statistics the average rider has three

crashes on their bikes and the third one is fatal...

i have no idea if this is true BUT i shall not be

testin the validity of those numbers...

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

.

I'm glad that you didn't have to learn it the hard way.

Everyone I know who had a motorcycle got in an accident, got a semi-serious to serious injury and then sold their motocycle.

It doesn't matter how good of a motocyclist you are.

If you mix it it up with cars it's just a matter of time before you get in an accident.

The same is true for bicycles.

One of my friends was hit and killed by a car while he was riding his bike home from work.

.

yep... way too many opportunities fo irony...

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #24 posted 09/23/16 7:49am

RodeoSchro

QueenofCardboard said:

.

hijacked

.

It is supposed to be one of your own personal stories.

.

[Edited 9/14/16 14:18pm]



Well, it wasn't before you edited it! falloff But sorry for not posting as you wished.

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