You name the issue and the ubiquitous Stanley Applebaum will weigh in with his viewpoint and opinion. No subject is out of line and no answer will be wrong... such is the nature of Stanley Applebaum.

I have leakage true my bedroom-window...for the seconds time...

ChocolateInvasion said:

This is an issue that weighs heavily on the minds of all of us and I wish you the best in your quest for either caulk or some flexible sealer.

There's a fly in my soup.

RhondaB's nipple ring is itching...

ConsciousContact said:

Houseflies have a very high protein content and should be an excellent source of nutrition. If you are worried about your protein intake, about 48 percent of the calories in a housefly are from protien. For extra nutrition, drop some earthworms in your soup, as 73 percent of their calories are protein.

Enjoy.

ChocolateInvasion said:

Tell RhondaB to keep the hole cleansed and not to take the ring out too soon. If she gets through the initial stages, she will have a wonderfully sensitive nipple with a sparkling adornment.

ChocolateInvasion said:

Yeah right, it´s itching you!

StanleyApplebaum said:

Nutter!

Jasper said:

\

Clown said:

Yes, that is a clown picture.

StanleyApplebaum said:

ROFL!!!

teller said:

The floor is a good place to laugh, as you can find old toenail clippings and such if you have not cleaned recently and you look very hard.

this lady at work teases her hair into a big puffy mound on top of her head. i am afraid she does this to conceal the alien pod which grows on her head, under the teased-up hair.

should i try to take her and the alien unawares and kill the alien pod by covering it with liquid soap from the dispenser in the kitchen? should i call the police and let them handle it?

help me. StanleyApplebaum

XxAxX said:

Let me start by telling you this: She is definitely an alien.

The best option for you is to avoid introducing liquid soap into the alien pod, as the reproduction of many alien species is slowed by oily compounds and the carboxyl/hydrocarbon structure of the soap would effectively reduce the amount of oily residue, thus allowing the aliens to reproduce at an increased rate.

One thing that you can do to help stop the invasion is spray her with a non-stick cooking spray of your choice each morning until she quits her job and returns to her planet of origin.

thank you for the sound advice, StanleyApplebaum. i knew i could count on you. fortunately this office has a supply of the no-stick cooking spray 'Pam', which will enable me to begin the alien eradication program today. it's not going to be easy, but i see there's really no other way to make this workplace/planet safe for humanity

wish me luck

XxAxX said:

I wish you the best in your efforts to annoy the alien invaders until they leave and return to their planet of anti-oleaginousness.

Stanley Applebaum is in good form today! :LOL:

So, Stanley...what would make the biggest difference for our friendly Skeleton's desire to fly off the shelves?

teller said:

In order to fly, our thrill-seeking skeleton must either have feathered wings that will allow him to maintain lift and propulsion or he must use some sort of flying machine such as an airplane, rocket or some as yet undiscovered method of aerial locomotion. In addition to the flying apparatus, you must make sure that our intrepid skeleton is prepared for disappointments on the road to glory... the Wright Brothers didn't get it right on their first go either.

Stanley,

Cabo San Lucas, or Cancun?

sag10 said:

Both Cabo San Lucas and Cancun are nice places, but I would suggest Mexico City if I were hard-pressed to make a choice.

How can you go wrong after reading this:

"Before Christopher Columbus set sail for the New World, the Valley of Mexico was already a bustling center of life and commerce. Known for being the longest continuously inhabited city in the Western Hemisphere (it was founded in 1325), Mexico City now ranks as the largest city in the world."

http://mexico-city-mexico.com/

StanleyApplebaum said:

umm, cough, cough!

Musee' du Louvre, Paris OR National Gallery London?

sag10 said:

Take one for the team... so says Stanley Applebaum.

Muse2noPharaoh said:

The National Gallery is nice, but I would suggest the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York.

StanleyApplebaum said:

Yes, I agree! I will be in NY to begin going through "The Met" before summer! The Guggenheim Museum across the street as well!

Stanley! How are you today?

Should I go on a date with my extremely attractive and intelligent ex-boss? He has a great sense of humor and we're not in the same unit at work anymore. He has been asking me out for over a month since he switched positions.


If I had my way, I'd jump his bones, but I am afraid it still might cause an issue if it went well then took a dive. It's not illegal at work anymore, and we weren't planning on telling anyone about it. It's just a date...

INSATIABLE said:

I would go for it. What can it hurt? His great sense of humor will allow him to accept your dumping him in front of everyone in the office when he forgets your birthday (which he will) when it comes around.

Good luck!