I used to lend money to my friends that asked with the understanding that they would pay me back. Those that paid back, I could trust. Those that did not, I could not trust to ever see my money again even if I bug them and also I would never give them money again.

It's ok to lend but you soon find out who is a moocher/user.

If you don't like being asked anymore just say no or tell them you cannot because you don't have any money to give. No need to explain your financial situation which is none of their business. Then if you repeatedly tell them then they will go somewhere else to "use" others to get money. Keep telling them over and over that you are broke or simply don't have it. You are being used as an easy source for funds. Stop with letting yourself be used.

Some folks use those with good hearts.

I recently gave money to someone who needed the money to buy something they needed for their kid and I find out they lied about what they said it was for. That was it for me. No more giving them $$, they are cut off for that and they know it, they blew it. Tough shit

Superfan1984 said:

In the last month I have had two friends ask me for money. I don't mind giving money to my friends when I have it but at the moment I don't- I have moved into a much more expensive place, I've been helping my sister here and there etc. and I am tapped out- My problem is that both people have not only asked, but one ASKED AGAIN and it pisses me off, not because they would ask, but because when I say I don't have it they keep on. It puts me in the position of having to explain my financial situation and I feel that's fucked up for someone to put me in the position to where I have to divulge personal financial info that I never would have divulged without being pressed. One friend comes from an insanely wealthy family and I feel like asking him why they won't help but I won't get into someone's business like that. My question is, am I right in being pissed off? Can I just say no without offering up an explanation?

I'd say that if you have become known within your circle of friends as the person who doesn't mind giving money, then that might be the reason you are having to explain yourself.

However, you most certainly shouldn't have to refuse them more than once. Next time simply say "I told you I don't have it" with a little edge in your voice and if they ask again just stare at them and don't say anything.

i really enjoy collecting quotes. some i have printed out and put on my bulletin board.

here's a list of "borrow" quotes. maybe choosing one and having it printed out nicely and posting it in a traffic area of your place will give out a hint to those that seem to be bothering you with their borrowing request.

	Always borrow from a pessimist, he never expects anything back. Anonymous
	An empty purse and a new house make a man wise, but too late. Portuguese Proverb
	Before borrowing money from a friend decide which you need most. American Proverb
	Borrowing is not much better than begging; just as lending with interest is not much better than stealing. Doris Lessing
	Don't be one to remember everything lent, but forget everything borrowed. Anonymous
	Don't borrow money from a neighbor or a friend, but of a stranger where, paying for it you shall hear of it no more. Lord Burleigh
	If you would know the value of money try to borrow some. Benjamin Franklin
	Let us all be happy, and live within our means, even if we have to borrow the money to do it with. Artemus Ward
	Loans and debts make worry and frets. Saying
	People cannot live by lending money to one another. John Ruskin

i hope this helps.

Superfan1984 said:

"Stare at them and don't say anything" -- haha- Yes! that should work! Like I said, I don't mind giving it IF I have it but if I don't I resent having to explain why I don't. The one guy said to me, "Oh come on, you've got fifty bucks!" and I was thinking, "Uh actually I don't, not until pay day" but I just think it's rude to tell me what I have---- urgghhh.....

Dang, now that's some nerve right there.

babynoz said:

Superfan1984 said:

"Stare at them and don't say anything" -- haha- Yes! that should work! Like I said, I don't mind giving it IF I have it but if I don't I resent having to explain why I don't. The one guy said to me, "Oh come on, you've got fifty bucks!" and I was thinking, "Uh actually I don't, not until pay day" but I just think it's rude to tell me what I have---- urgghhh.....

Dang, now that's some nerve right there.

Yeah, some nerve to try to squeeze it out of you any way they can when you don't have it.

free2bfreeda said:

i really enjoy collecting quotes. some i have printed out and put on my bulletin board.

here's a list of "borrow" quotes. maybe choosing one and having it printed out nicely and posting it in a traffic area of your place will give out a hint to those that seem to be bothering you with their borrowing request.

	Always borrow from a pessimist, he never expects anything back. Anonymous
	An empty purse and a new house make a man wise, but too late. Portuguese Proverb
	Before borrowing money from a friend decide which you need most. American Proverb
	Borrowing is not much better than begging; just as lending with interest is not much better than stealing. Doris Lessing
	Don't be one to remember everything lent, but forget everything borrowed. Anonymous
	Don't borrow money from a neighbor or a friend, but of a stranger where, paying for it you shall hear of it no more. Lord Burleigh
	If you would know the value of money try to borrow some. Benjamin Franklin
	Let us all be happy, and live within our means, even if we have to borrow the money to do it with. Artemus Ward
	Loans and debts make worry and frets. Saying
	People cannot live by lending money to one another. John Ruskin

i hope this helps.

THIS WAS SO COOL!!!

ahhhhhhhhhhhh... that you for the education

of wise words you've gathered

luv4u said:

I used to lend money to my friends that asked with the understanding that they would pay me back. Those that paid back, I could trust. Those that did not, I could not trust to ever see my money again even if I bug them and also I would never give them money again.

It's ok to lend but you soon find out who is a moocher/user.

If you don't like being asked anymore just say no or tell them you cannot because you don't have any money to give. No need to explain your financial situation which is none of their business. Then if you repeatedly tell them then they will go somewhere else to "use" others to get money. Keep telling them over and over that you are broke or simply don't have it. You are being used as an easy source for funds. Stop with letting yourself be used.

Some folks use those with good hearts.

I recently gave money to someone who needed the money to buy something they needed for their kid and I find out they lied about what they said it was for. That was it for me. No more giving them $$, they are cut off for that and they know it, they blew it. Tough shit

^^^This.

i have a dear friend who was broke a few months ago, but refused a loan when i offered. so, i asked her if she would be willing to maybe sell me a rusty old antique thingie she had sitting out in her garden.

.

she was hapy to do that and next time i dropped by had even more thingies i might want to buy

.

it's awkward but i believe in helping people with money when possible. this is a tough world. some folks abuse a loan but most just need a hand now and then.

.

someone lent me money for tuition many years ago so i know i owe the universe a debt.

Ask them for money, see what they say.

JustErin said:

Ask them for money, see what they say.

i don't know that it has already been said

but on the subject of lendin, i don't and can't.

HOWEVER, i have learned to not give what i can't afford to lose.

and i don't give it (even if called a loan) with the expectation of gettin it back.

its like doin shit for people and waitin for a thank you.

after a time or two you just stop doin for those who DON'T thank you

(you know who they are) and its not so much they the fact that they don't

say the words... they don't even give the pretense of bein thankful BUT act more

like its their due (yeah, er'body can't be me but they act like it)

i've been on the "in need of" side of shit quite a few times and have yet to be called an

ingrate... and i'm sure there are those who could call me one, but they'd be those

who have been holdin that grudge for ages

sometimes when i go to a fast food place, if a see a homeless person near the establishment with a sign for help i will try to give.

then,

when i get ready to order my food, i will look at the menu for a moderately priced combo and bottled water. along with my order i will order the combo and water then ask the cashier to just give me a receipt.

i then explain to her about the homeless person and that i am giving the receipt to the homeless person.

on my way to my vehicle (parked pretty close to the food place), i will hand/give the receipt to the person and let them know the cashier will know.

then i turn and politely walk away.

imo sometimes giving money is supporting their cigarette or alcohol issues, not a good mo for moi to follow.

anyway, i don't have too much problem with homeless people in need as long as thy are not aggressive.

>

besides while were on the subject, "can anyone in orgland give me some of their extra:

" for a trip to seattle.

just kidding!

[Edited 6/26/15 15:11pm]

If you want my money you'll have to give me your body, simple as that

[Edited 6/27/15 15:48pm]

I will give freely to strangers, far more rarely to loved ones. I find that lending/borrowing between folks familiar with one-another gets too messy too often.

Feel free to say no. And, no, you don't owe them an explanation.

[Edited 6/27/15 18:29pm]

KingBAD said:

free2bfreeda said:

i really enjoy collecting quotes. some i have printed out and put on my bulletin board.

here's a list of "borrow" quotes. maybe choosing one and having it printed out nicely and posting it in a traffic area of your place will give out a hint to those that seem to be bothering you with their borrowing request.

THIS WAS SO COOL!!!

ahhhhhhhhhhhh... that you for the education

of wise words you've gathered

thx 4 ur words.

free2bfreeda said:

KingBAD said:

THIS WAS SO COOL!!!

ahhhhhhhhhhhh... that you for the education

of wise words you've gathered

thx 4 ur words.

was suppose to say thank you

KingBAD said:

free2bfreeda said:

thx 4 ur words.

was suppose to say thank you

"You."

Lammastide said:

I will give freely to strangers, far more rarely to loved ones. I find that lending/borrowing between folks familiar with one-another gets too messy too often.

Feel free to say no. And, no, you don't owe them an explanation.

[Edited 6/27/15 18:29pm]

i give cash to people begging on the street. i think people should help others who are in this dire situation if they can

Superfan1984 said:

I'm confused, are they asking you to GIVE them money, or to LEND them money???

I can't even fathom asking to be GIVEN money.

Money & friends don't mix. I mean, lending a friend $20 for lunch or something is not really an issue (so long as you get paid back) but larger amounts are tricky.

I have a friend whose longtime buddy borrowed $600, and apparently fell into hard times because he never paid him back, and WORSE instead of explaining himself he just stopped talking to him (maybe out of shame?). They had been friends for over a decade, and $600 killed the friendship. My friend even told me that he would've probably forgiven the debt to keep the friendship if the dude had answered any of his calls.

As for having to EXPLAIN yourself? HELL NO. If you have it you have it. If you don't, you don't.
It's as simple as that. "Yes I can help you." or "Sorry man, I'm tapped out." That's all you need to say. If they get an attitude, then re-think your friendship.