So I'm still trying my hand at online dating and came across a guy who caught my eye. He said he's 46 and has never been married and has no kids. I haven't really quizzed him much about why he's never been married but is that a red flag that he's made it to 46 without ever being married? To me, it seems that it's much easier for men to find women who want to get married than for women to find men who want to get married. I haven't met this guy in person yet (that should be coming up in the next few days or so) but I was wondering what you guys think. Could there be something wrong with this guy or should I just give him a chance and see what he's about first?

Of course, there could be a multitude of things "wrong" with this man...or maybe there is nothing wriong with him at all.

I say talk to him and see what he has to say. By talk I mean on webcam, like skype. I would never recommend meeting someone without video chatting first.

You should be able to get some kind of vibe off him that might answer your questions.

I'm 54 and single. Nothing wrong with me at all. I just prefer to be alone, and I don't want drama in my life.

uPtoWnNY said:

uPtoWnNY said:

I'm 54 and single. Nothing wrong with me at all. I just prefer to be alone, and I don't want drama in my life.

Yeah I understand. There are a lot of advantages to being by yourself instead of in a couple. Has it been a while since you were in a relationship?

He's GAY! Run!!

Marriage is not the end all, be all for everyone.. Maybe he had greater priorities in life like getting to a good place in his career, or travelling, or being free to date who he wanted without contractual obligations.

If I were you, I wouldn't prejudge him. Just get to know him, without bias.

daingermouz2020 said:

Could be everything is wrong,could be nothing wrong at all. Maybe he's just very particular. On the flip side when I met a woman who extremely attractive with no kids, in no relationship I automatically think she's probably a little psycho. Most of the times this is the case.

You realize that the common denominator in all those times is you...right?

"Nah lots of people don't get married nowadays"...THIS..I also think that people know (early in life) if marriage and kids are really for them. Some may choose not to go down that road and are happy being single.

morningsong said:

Red flags only if he seems to want to desperately get married. I talked to a guy and we never made to the first date because he just continuiously kept steering the conversation back to "what if we get married?" It creeped me out, even though we'd already met in person that wasn't the issue. He just seem to need somekind of definite commitment immediately yet he'd never been married before. Big red flag.

Yeah that's pretty bizarre. Maybe his man clock was ticking or he was just playing games.

SPYZFAN1 said:

"Nah lots of people don't get married nowadays"...THIS..I also think that people know (early in life) if marriage and kids are really for them. Some may choose not to go down that road and are happy being single.

People who know that they don't necessarily want that life and accept it, rather than trying to fit into to what society tells them they should want, deserve more respect than they get.

thekidsgirl said:

Marriage is not the end all, be all for everyone.. Maybe he had greater priorities in life like getting to a good place in his career, or travelling, or being free to date who he wanted without contractual obligations.

If I were you, I wouldn't prejudge him. Just get to know him, without bias.

Yeah that's a good point. I mean, I guess marriage isn't for everyone or maybe he's had long relationships that never led to marriage. It's strange that it seems you almost have to pick from men who have been divorced and possibly bitter about it to men who are never married and possibly socially awkward or committment phobes!

thekidsgirl said:

SPYZFAN1 said:

"Nah lots of people don't get married nowadays"...THIS..I also think that people know (early in life) if marriage and kids are really for them. Some may choose not to go down that road and are happy being single.

People who know that they don't necessarily want that life and accept it, rather than trying to fit into to what society tells them they should want, deserve more respect than they get.

Yeah I believe that there would be a lot more happy people in this world if they followed their heart. There's a particular TV commercial that I'm seeing lately which shows the "evolution" of a person gonig from being 16 and getting a driver's license, graduating high school, going to college, getting married, having kids and then purchasing a sedan and living out in the suburbs. I guess there are so many people in life who feel they need to have their life mapped out in the same "perfect" order as that guy in the commercial. I don't think I've met many people in the real world whose lives follow such a neat, linear path.

Cinny said:

He's GAY! Run!!

I'm assuming you're joking, but this brought to mind a neighbor of mind. Late 40s, never married, has a job as a teacher, currently living with older sister. I have only seen him with young men (20s), so I've assumed he was gay. But recently his sister has been "trying to set us up", which confused the hell out of me, they have an very openly gay niece who goes over their house often so it's not taboo to be gay in their family I'm assuming. Its weird because I've talked to him a few times he's even given me a ride once, and he gave me the spill about never being married having no kids, because he so particular and he hadn't found the right one, yada yada yada, but I'm looking at the trash piled up in his backseat(several empty 2ltr bottles, balled up paper), and a few other things I'm not putting out in the world which screamed "not too particular" to me. We've never gotten close just waving neighbors, and I still only ever see him going in and out of the house with young guys, not a lot, but they're his only companions.

Shoot. As I'm thinking about it. Vet the heck out of this guy Seventeen. While I agree, there's absolutely nothing wrong with an older man (or woman) who has never married, you better know full well why if the idea of marriage has ever entered the conversation or if its something you're after.

morningsong said:

missfee said:

Seventeen!!! On to the topic: I say take your question and put him in your shoes. You're single, no kids and never been married right? Well how would you feel if you knew he felt some type of way about you just because of that? Not good right? Or as if he's prejudging without getting to know you first, correct? Well I say don't look too much into it. Get to know him first. I know I hate it personally when guys ask me, "Why are you single? You don't have no kids either?" As if something else MUST be wrong with me when it's not. In reality I'm single because there's still some things I want to work on in regards to myself. I love having time to myself. Yes I'm 32, single, no kids, a homeowner with a car and a job and most importantly, no drama. I truly believe the right person will come along when he's supposed to, but until that time, I'm good. [Edited 7/9/15 17:24pm]

You're funny. You're 32, just a baby, wait until you're 42 then there will be some hounding.

Personally, I see nothing "wrong" with not being married by a certain age, but in reality for all those that are too busy enjoying life to be worrying about being tied down, there are those that are still living in their parents' basement doing gawd knows what also. One shouldn't be shy or overly PC about finding out.

missfee said:

Seventeen!!!

On to the topic: I say take your question and put him in your shoes. You're single, no kids and never been married right? Well how would you feel if you knew he felt some type of way about you just because of that? Not good right? Or as if he's prejudging without getting to know you first, correct? Well I say don't look too much into it. Get to know him first.

I know I hate it personally when guys ask me, "Why are you single? You don't have no kids either?" As if something else MUST be wrong with me when it's not. In reality I'm single because there's still some things I want to work on in regards to myself. I love having time to myself. Yes I'm 32, single, no kids, a homeowner with a car and a job and most importantly, no drama. I truly believe the right person will come along when he's supposed to, but until that time, I'm good.
[Edited 7/9/15 17:24pm]

Seventeen..You are right about that commercial. I don't know anyone (married with kids) that's followed that path smoothly either. I also know some folks that are long married and are unhappy too.

SPYZFAN1 said:

NinaB said:

Nah lots of people don't get married nowdays, i wouldn't worry about that. I agree with chatting to him on Skype first too. Good luck.

An ex-coworker of mine was in his late 40's (maybe closer to 50), never was Married, no kids, always had BAD luck getting a Date or just Bad luck with Women period..He ended up meeting a chick overseas(via online dating), moved her & her kids to The States, Married her, she cheated, Marriage ended..He was too Hurt...He is short, College Degree, Made Good Money, own his own home, not bad looking...So meeting a 40something that's never been married doesnt have to mean something is wrong with them, they could have Bad Luck in the dating-department..

NorthC said:

Damn! I was thinking this was going to be funkpill's joke of the week.

Chancellor said:

NinaB said:

uPtoWnNY said:

I'm 54 and single. Nothing wrong with me at all. I just prefer to be alone, and I don't want drama in my life.

Change the number to 42 & thats me too

Always do what makes YOU happy.....fuck what society thinks.

@SeventeenDayze - it's been years since I've been in a serious relationship. Not really looking for one - too busy trying to recover after three years of only having part time work.