Get professional help. Buying her a new car isn't going to deal with her addiction issues. There are plenty of places that will see her for free.

You can even try a large church. Many times, they have programs for addicts, and can get addicts connected with the right kind of help.

But please - get her professional help. Her life depends on it.

Yeah don't reward her with material items which can be sold or pawned for quick cash. Go Pro. Good Luck.

[Bait snip - luv4u]

Shawy89 said:

[Bait snip - luv4u]

Disgusting.

As much as I sometimes despise non-profit organizations, it may be worthwhile to visit one in your area. Sometimes, they can point you towards programs that can be provided to your family and you on a sliding scale payment or no payment at all. They would usually require proof of income, utility bills and maybe other documentation that would prove what your earnings and debt are.

I'm sorry to hear this but don't give up. You can also consider calling treatment centers directly and inquire if they have a program for potential patients with a modest income.

you could try and get her to a narcotics anonymous meeting for a start... there would be people there you could talk to about options

It sounds like you're between a rock and a hard place. Perhaps you could carpool, instead of buying her a new car. I don't know if that would work with her schedule and yours but it might be worth a try. It would give her a sense of responsibility that might be helpful while she's getting treatment.

Superfan1984 said:

Contact Nar-Anon, which is a support organization for family members of those who have drug addictions. You need information and support, too. They can tell you what you need to know and can supply referrals also. Here is the link to their website:

www.nar-anon.org/

an addict will break your heart over and over .. nobody changes unless they want to .. she will use the car to buy drugs .. no matter how much you believe, she will let you down in the most painful way possible .. you will be shocked over and over how much you give and how much it makes no difference .. it is a sad reality that no matter how much you love someone, when they are an addict they just do not give a fuck about you, themselves or any amount of hell they put their family and friends through ..

I myself had a younger brother who was addicted on cocain. Now he's sober. Thank god.

I know it all, man, it sucks to be having to make sure she's not under any influence all the time.

I think what these guys said is pretty much the whole thing, I might add: Do not take her to community meetings, as far as I know, a teenage addict can only feel "isolated" and "hated" when he sees him/herself among many addicted people... A teenage addict seeks uniquness in something, uniquness is actually the reason why he or she got into it the first place, they all wanna feel something unusual, even if it's risky... They never care. So treat her in a "unique" way, I don't mean to buy her all what she likes or be her bitch... Just try to make her feel like she's unique.

[Edited 7/27/14 19:48pm]

Superfan1984 said:

thank you Supersoulfight and Seventeendayze for your input.

Anytime. Keep us posted, dear!

Superfan1984 said:

And in a bad way. She is 24 and has been taking methadone for over two years. I know this is deadly and I am shocked and horrified. I knew SOMETHING was wrong with her but thought she was depressed and had emotional issues, I never dreamed it was drugs. So anyway, My question is, What do I do? I can't afford to put her in rehab. My father has passed and my mother is immature at dealing with anything, so no help at all. My plan (as pathetic as it sounds) is to take her once a month to Physicians Care for a drug test and if it comes out clean every month, I will buy her a new car and make the payments for her and take her shopping. I know this sounds superficial but I feel it will be an incentive and maybe help build her motivation/ self esteem. Is this terrible? What should I do?

Another reason this won't be a good idea is that meth is a drug that leaves your system in 3-4 days. So she could easily just stop use in enough time to pass clean and begin use immediately after. I've seen this so many times with people who pretend to be "clean" for years...

I think the best option is to seek pro help as already suggested. It's going to be a long road and very tough but it is possible to overcome this.

Keep us posted.

I'll be thinking about you!

One Thing We All Learn (Eventually), The Hard Way:

Never try to help someone unless they are ready to be helped.

Until help is asked for, until there is that readiness to listen and receive and let go of old patterns, your attempt to help will be felt as manipulation and control – your issue, your need, not theirs. Defences will go up, positions will become hardened, you will end up feeling frustrated or superior or powerless, and the mirrored roles of ‘victim’ and ‘saviour’ will make you feel more disconnected from each other than ever.

How to truly help? Meet them where they are right now. Let go of your dream of their immediate healing. Slow down. Validate their present experience. Don’t try to impose your own agenda or assume what is ‘best’ for them. Perhaps you don’t know what is ‘best’. Perhaps they are more hardy, intelligent, resourceful, and full of potential, than you ever could imagine.

Perhaps what is ‘best’ for them right now is not to want – or need – your help! Perhaps they need to suffer or struggle more. Perhaps they are aligning and healing in their own unique way. Perhaps what this moment requires is trust, and deep listening, and profound respect of where they are in their journey. Perhaps you are only trying to help yourself.

Perhaps real change comes not from trying to impose change on others, but by aligning with where they are right now, unlocking all the creative intelligence of the moment, honouring their unique path and their mysterious process of healing.

When you try to change someone, you are communicating to them that they are not okay as they are, that you reject and resist their present experience and want it to be different. You may even be communicating that you don’t love them. When you stop trying to change them, and meet them as they are, and align with life as it presents itself, great and unexpected change is then possible, for now you are an a true friend and ally of the universe.

Stop trying to change others, and they change in their own way, in their own time. Perhaps you help the most when you get out of change’s way.

-Jeff Foster, Life Without a Center

Read this years ago when I was dealing with an addict. I have found it to be true. No matter how much pleading, begging, compromising I was doing, the addict only stopped when he wanted to. I went to Nar-Anon, got prayer numerous times, cried a million tears. He went to rehab three times. Then one day, he just stopped.

*

"I'm an addict. And this is what addicts do. You cannot nor will not change my behavior. You cannot make me treat you better, let alone with any respect. All I care about, all I think about, is my needs and how to go about fufilling them. You are a tool to me, something to use. When I say I love you I am lying through my teeth, because love is impossible for someone in active addiction. I wouldn't be using if I loved myself, and since I don't, I cannot love you.

My feelings are so pushed down and numbed by my drugs that I could be considered sociopathic. I have no empathy for you or anyone else. It doesn't faze me that I hurt you, leave you hungry, lie to you, cheat on you and steal from you.

My behavior cannot and will not change until i make a decison to stop using/drinking and then follow it up with a plan of action.

And until I make that decsion, I will hurt you again and again and again.

Stop being surprised.

I am an addict. And that's what addicts do."

bless you Superfan1984 you love your sister when she needs you the most. it's hard what you'r3e facing but sounds like you're on the right track. keep the faith.