So...my kids have been living with me for 15 months now.

I will admit that I've been coddling them a bit from remourse & guilt, and from wanting them to settle down into their new lives & the separation from their mother.

BUT, they've had enough time now, and I'm starting to crack the whip.

They're getting lazy. I have to badger them into doing basic tasks (cleaning up after themselves, for example).

So, I've decided that I am instituting a system of chores for them. I downloaded blank charts and will post them on a weekly basis. I found suggestions for chores online.

My kids are 15, 13 & 12.

I have no experience with this...my mom is a doting Hispanic mother who still wants to clean up after me...but even still, when I was a kid and she said; "Go sweep the living room" I would go and do it, no questions asked...I have to argue/browbeat/threaten my kids most of the time.

SO; Do any of you have any suggestions as to how to implement a chores system with kids???

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

My 13-year-old daughter has three regular chores: Keep her room clean, water the plants weekly, and clean the cat's litter box every day. She sucks at them all and, frankly, my wife and I suck at being more consistent in enforcing them. We could improve. I will say, though, that when we notice her areas of responsibility have gotten too out of hand, we require that they be addressed immediately, or she cannot do things like watch TV, hang out online, etc. That works wonders.

We don't attach our daughter's chores to an allowance because we want to instill the fact that keeping a clean and pleasant household is its own reward. (And she does seem quite impressed with herself when her personal space is orderly.) We provide other opportunities for her to make a bit of money, though -- things like vacuuming the car, doing laundry (which is something my wife and I typically do), etc.

[Edited 2/3/14 13:08pm]

Hand them the list of chores. Have them pick what they would like to do. After awhile the list can change to new chores. Give some sort of incentive. Can you afford to pay them each an allowance? If they do their chores, and not sloppy work, then an allowance is good. If they don't do their chores then they don't get paid.

You have to put your foot down, and be strict sometimes. You run the roost they don't. Different home, different set of rules. And, sit those kids down and lay out the rules.......... bed time, acceptable time for coming home, doing homework, etc. Don't let them run over you.

Family meetings are a good thing too.

PurpleJedi said:

So...my kids have been living with me for 15 months now.

I will admit that I've been coddling them a bit from remourse & guilt, and from wanting them to settle down into their new lives & the separation from their mother.

BUT, they've had enough time now, and I'm starting to crack the whip.

They're getting lazy. I have to badger them into doing basic tasks (cleaning up after themselves, for example).

So, I've decided that I am instituting a system of chores for them. I downloaded blank charts and will post them on a weekly basis. I found suggestions for chores online.

My kids are 15, 13 & 12.

I have no experience with this...my mom is a doting Hispanic mother who still wants to clean up after me...but even still, when I was a kid and she said; "Go sweep the living room" I would go and do it, no questions asked...I have to argue/browbeat/threaten my kids most of the time.

SO; Do any of you have any suggestions as to how to implement a chores system with kids???

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

two ideas that may or may not work

1-hand them a list of chores which they can relate to: for example, you don't have to clean all the dishes, JUST your dish and the stuff you used= NOW DO IT; you don't have to clean the entire house, JUST YOUR ROOM= NOW DO IT

2-incentives yes (i'm thinking small quantities of money) but also punishment; not physical punishment (dark road which leads to trouble and then worse), but perhaps ironic mockery, make them feel embarrassed, or make them feel that you suffer if they don't cooperate etc, and of course threaten them with the good old "no Internet, no videogames, no money, no fun & games nor socializing if you don't cooperate", make clear WHO'S the BOSS,

bonus

-try to explain that the adult life out there is basically about RULES EVERYWHERE (for better or worse), tell them that they need some guidance and control to become proper adults

A while back one of them told me I should give them an allowance for them to do stuff around the house. I told them that I am NOT paying them to do things that they need to be doing ANYWAY.

But I realize that incentives work, so I am giving each one $20/week to cover "lunch". Lunch at school is half that amount, so they can start saving $10/week. More if they decide to pack a lunch from home.

I already enact punishments. Last Tuesday for example, I asked my daughter to clean up the dirty plate she left in the living room. TWICE. She did not, so I took away her laptop.

I do like the idea of giving them choices, but I can just see fights erupting when 2 or more decide they want the same chore or no one wants a certain one...maybe revolving chores as someone stated.

Keep it coming! I need to do this tomorrow morning so that when they come home from mom's, they'll have their charts.

nursev said:

kids now days wont do anything without being threatened when I was young all my grandmother had to do was look at me n I'd get to it

I had a twenty minute argument with my youngest about cleaning his room. "Why? It's just going to get dirty anyway. It makes no sense. Where am I supposed to fit these clothes? Etc. Etc." After a while my heads starts spinning and I start yelling and threatening.

I told him, "Grandma never had to explain herself. She said do something, and I'd do it."

I don't know...

PurpleJedi said:

I used to say to mine, I'm not gonna tell you again and that was it. If they didn't do what I asked then the very next time they asked for something the answer was no and I would tell them why.

nursev said:

PurpleJedi said:

I had a twenty minute argument with my youngest about cleaning his room. "Why? It's just going to get dirty anyway. It makes no sense. Where am I supposed to fit these clothes? Etc. Etc." After a while my heads starts spinning and I start yelling and threatening.

I told him, "Grandma never had to explain herself. She said do something, and I'd do it."

I don't know...

they want you to reason and explain grandma just broke out that switch

PurpleJedi said:

nursev said:

PurpleJedi said:

on top of that my son is a gemini...he would wake up with that mess n I'd be like go back to sleep

just learn to live in a mess

it is really no big deal

let it pile up, let it stink

who cares?

it is their home too now, you know

On a somewhat related note - http://natwest-pocketmoney.com/

What I can probably contribute is, because my childhood is not too far away and that I'm also part of the internet generation, I know that sometimes nothing might help.

When I decided I didn't want to do something, I simply didn't do it. No amount of threat or explanation could have changed my mind. And as I got older and brighter and stronger (mentally and physically), from about 12 onwards, I completely decided to make my own rules and lost all kind of "blind respect" I had for my mother. If I decided it wasn't time to clean my room yet, because I had other priorities, I simply knew it was the right decision. And I wouldn't listen to anybody esle just because they were older.

It was only when my mother moved away and I decided to stay in Vienna, with my dad, when I became more disciplined and determined about organising my life properly. I had to sleep on my own for the first couple of months, until my father would finish refurbishing my grandfather's house, so he could also move and we could finally live together. His place was too small for the both of us and my mother was already gone. He came over during the day and made sure I had enough food, but he wasn't the master cook my mother was, he didn't just take my laundry and washed it without me knowing it, like my mother did, so I had to take care of myself mostly. Those 2-3 months made me grow up so quickly, I honestly don't know what else could. I was 15.


What I'm trying to say is, don't blame yourself and don't blame your children if it doesn't work out straight away and if they don't acknowledge your authority as much as you would wish they did. I'm sure they are intelligent and decent, because they have a nice dad (as I was, thanks to my upbringing), so there's not much of a risk they'll trail off completely. Let them find their feet and let them think for themselves. Offer to be there all the time, be a guiding friend, but if they don't understand why it is better to clean up your room, they probably won't do it. Children nowadays grow up way quicker than a couple of decades ago and they have learned to question everything and everybody, which makes life more difficult for their parents, but ultimately is a very good thing.

slakk said:

just learn to live in a mess

it is really no big deal

let it pile up, let it stink

who cares?

it is their home too now, you know

domainator2010 said:

On a somewhat related note - http://natwest-pocketmoney.com/

morningsong said:

They say consistency is a powerful thing. Its hard work on the parent though.

Tell me about it.

Dave1992 said:

What I can probably contribute is, because my childhood is not too far away and that I'm also part of the internet generation, I know that sometimes nothing might help.

When I decided I didn't want to do something, I simply didn't do it. No amount of threat or explanation could have changed my mind. And as I got older and brighter and stronger (mentally and physically), from about 12 onwards, I completely decided to make my own rules and lost all kind of "blind respect" I had for my mother. If I decided it wasn't time to clean my room yet, because I had other priorities, I simply knew it was the right decision. And I wouldn't listen to anybody esle just because they were older.

It was only when my mother moved away and I decided to stay in Vienna, with my dad, when I became more disciplined and determined about organising my life properly. I had to sleep on my own for the first couple of months, until my father would finish refurbishing my grandfather's house, so he could also move and we could finally live together. His place was too small for the both of us and my mother was already gone. He came over during the day and made sure I had enough food, but he wasn't the master cook my mother was, he didn't just take my laundry and washed it without me knowing it, like my mother did, so I had to take care of myself mostly. Those 2-3 months made me grow up so quickly, I honestly don't know what else could. I was 15.


What I'm trying to say is, don't blame yourself and don't blame your children if it doesn't work out straight away and if they don't acknowledge your authority as much as you would wish they did. I'm sure they are intelligent and decent, because they have a nice dad (as I was, thanks to my upbringing), so there's not much of a risk they'll trail off completely. Let them find their feet and let them think for themselves. Offer to be there all the time, be a guiding friend, but if they don't understand why it is better to clean up your room, they probably won't do it. Children nowadays grow up way quicker than a couple of decades ago and they have learned to question everything and everybody, which makes life more difficult for their parents, but ultimately is a very good thing.

Thanks for the input Dave, I appreciate it.

I am not going to back off though...whether or not they think it's justified or worthy, I will demand certain things. I do agree (and hope to all that's good) that they have enough of a solid foundation that they will eventually be solid, productive, decent adults. But if I don't keep pushing I feel I'm not doing my job.

Example; my oldest (15) is a gamer. He could spend ALL DAY- from the break of dawn to the dead of night - playing video games. If I let him.
So...because I don't want to see him become a thirtysomething stoner in my basement whose only goal in life is to reach Level 300 on Halo...I force him to turn it off. To go read a book (the HORROR!). To go take a SHOWER!!!

I don't want to seem despotic, but I am the adult, and ultimately their success or failure in life will be largely influenced by my actions, deeds & words. Just as you are who you are - independent, confident, educated - largely because of your folks. If your parents had been slobs, underachievers, thieves, etc., you would undoubtedly be the same today.

Some things I don't understand...both the ex & I have a healthy love of reading...and all 3 kids have to be PUSHED to read books.


So I'm putting together my chores list. I will go over it with them when they come home. Now I have to stick to my guns and be consistent.

PurpleJedi said:

Dave1992 said:

What I can probably contribute is, because my childhood is not too far away and that I'm also part of the internet generation, I know that sometimes nothing might help.

When I decided I didn't want to do something, I simply didn't do it. No amount of threat or explanation could have changed my mind. And as I got older and brighter and stronger (mentally and physically), from about 12 onwards, I completely decided to make my own rules and lost all kind of "blind respect" I had for my mother. If I decided it wasn't time to clean my room yet, because I had other priorities, I simply knew it was the right decision. And I wouldn't listen to anybody esle just because they were older.

It was only when my mother moved away and I decided to stay in Vienna, with my dad, when I became more disciplined and determined about organising my life properly. I had to sleep on my own for the first couple of months, until my father would finish refurbishing my grandfather's house, so he could also move and we could finally live together. His place was too small for the both of us and my mother was already gone. He came over during the day and made sure I had enough food, but he wasn't the master cook my mother was, he didn't just take my laundry and washed it without me knowing it, like my mother did, so I had to take care of myself mostly. Those 2-3 months made me grow up so quickly, I honestly don't know what else could. I was 15.


What I'm trying to say is, don't blame yourself and don't blame your children if it doesn't work out straight away and if they don't acknowledge your authority as much as you would wish they did. I'm sure they are intelligent and decent, because they have a nice dad (as I was, thanks to my upbringing), so there's not much of a risk they'll trail off completely. Let them find their feet and let them think for themselves. Offer to be there all the time, be a guiding friend, but if they don't understand why it is better to clean up your room, they probably won't do it. Children nowadays grow up way quicker than a couple of decades ago and they have learned to question everything and everybody, which makes life more difficult for their parents, but ultimately is a very good thing.

Thanks for the input Dave, I appreciate it.

I am not going to back off though...whether or not they think it's justified or worthy, I will demand certain things. I do agree (and hope to all that's good) that they have enough of a solid foundation that they will eventually be solid, productive, decent adults. But if I don't keep pushing I feel I'm not doing my job.

Example; my oldest (15) is a gamer. He could spend ALL DAY- from the break of dawn to the dead of night - playing video games. If I let him.
So...because I don't want to see him become a thirtysomething stoner in my basement whose only goal in life is to reach Level 300 on Halo...I force him to turn it off. To go read a book (the HORROR!). To go take a SHOWER!!!

I don't want to seem despotic, but I am the adult, and ultimately their success or failure in life will be largely influenced by my actions, deeds & words. Just as you are who you are - independent, confident, educated - largely because of your folks. If your parents had been slobs, underachievers, thieves, etc., you would undoubtedly be the same today.

Some things I don't understand...both the ex & I have a healthy love of reading...and all 3 kids have to be PUSHED to read books.


So I'm putting together my chores list. I will go over it with them when they come home. Now I have to stick to my guns and be consistent.

Those kids are lucky to have someone who puts so much thought into raising them.

One consolation is that once they pass adolescence, the smarter you become as the years go by...

Dave1992 said:

What I can probably contribute is, because my childhood is not too far away and that I'm also part of the internet generation, I know that sometimes nothing might help.

When I decided I didn't want to do something, I simply didn't do it. No amount of threat or explanation could have changed my mind. And as I got older and brighter and stronger (mentally and physically), from about 12 onwards, I completely decided to make my own rules and lost all kind of "blind respect" I had for my mother. If I decided it wasn't time to clean my room yet, because I had other priorities, I simply knew it was the right decision. And I wouldn't listen to anybody esle just because they were older.

It was only when my mother moved away and I decided to stay in Vienna, with my dad, when I became more disciplined and determined about organising my life properly. I had to sleep on my own for the first couple of months, until my father would finish refurbishing my grandfather's house, so he could also move and we could finally live together. His place was too small for the both of us and my mother was already gone. He came over during the day and made sure I had enough food, but he wasn't the master cook my mother was, he didn't just take my laundry and washed it without me knowing it, like my mother did, so I had to take care of myself mostly. Those 2-3 months made me grow up so quickly, I honestly don't know what else could. I was 15.


What I'm trying to say is, don't blame yourself and don't blame your children if it doesn't work out straight away and if they don't acknowledge your authority as much as you would wish they did. I'm sure they are intelligent and decent, because they have a nice dad (as I was, thanks to my upbringing), so there's not much of a risk they'll trail off completely. Let them find their feet and let them think for themselves. Offer to be there all the time, be a guiding friend, but if they don't understand why it is better to clean up your room, they probably won't do it. Children nowadays grow up way quicker than a couple of decades ago and they have learned to question everything and everybody, which makes life more difficult for their parents, but ultimately is a very good thing.

My oldest was like you...he had to understand the logic in order to be fully cooperative...we had quite a few epic battles before I figured that out and we're best pals now that he's 35,

It's exceptional that they let you live alone for a couple of months at 15.

PurpleJedi said:

Dave1992 said:

What I can probably contribute is, because my childhood is not too far away and that I'm also part of the internet generation, I know that sometimes nothing might help.

When I decided I didn't want to do something, I simply didn't do it. No amount of threat or explanation could have changed my mind. And as I got older and brighter and stronger (mentally and physically), from about 12 onwards, I completely decided to make my own rules and lost all kind of "blind respect" I had for my mother. If I decided it wasn't time to clean my room yet, because I had other priorities, I simply knew it was the right decision. And I wouldn't listen to anybody esle just because they were older.

It was only when my mother moved away and I decided to stay in Vienna, with my dad, when I became more disciplined and determined about organising my life properly. I had to sleep on my own for the first couple of months, until my father would finish refurbishing my grandfather's house, so he could also move and we could finally live together. His place was too small for the both of us and my mother was already gone. He came over during the day and made sure I had enough food, but he wasn't the master cook my mother was, he didn't just take my laundry and washed it without me knowing it, like my mother did, so I had to take care of myself mostly. Those 2-3 months made me grow up so quickly, I honestly don't know what else could. I was 15.


What I'm trying to say is, don't blame yourself and don't blame your children if it doesn't work out straight away and if they don't acknowledge your authority as much as you would wish they did. I'm sure they are intelligent and decent, because they have a nice dad (as I was, thanks to my upbringing), so there's not much of a risk they'll trail off completely. Let them find their feet and let them think for themselves. Offer to be there all the time, be a guiding friend, but if they don't understand why it is better to clean up your room, they probably won't do it. Children nowadays grow up way quicker than a couple of decades ago and they have learned to question everything and everybody, which makes life more difficult for their parents, but ultimately is a very good thing.

Thanks for the input Dave, I appreciate it.

I am not going to back off though...whether or not they think it's justified or worthy, I will demand certain things. I do agree (and hope to all that's good) that they have enough of a solid foundation that they will eventually be solid, productive, decent adults. But if I don't keep pushing I feel I'm not doing my job.

Example; my oldest (15) is a gamer. He could spend ALL DAY- from the break of dawn to the dead of night - playing video games. If I let him.
So...because I don't want to see him become a thirtysomething stoner in my basement whose only goal in life is to reach Level 300 on Halo...I force him to turn it off. To go read a book (the HORROR!). To go take a SHOWER!!!

I don't want to seem despotic, but I am the adult, and ultimately their success or failure in life will be largely influenced by my actions, deeds & words. Just as you are who you are - independent, confident, educated - largely because of your folks. If your parents had been slobs, underachievers, thieves, etc., you would undoubtedly be the same today.

Some things I don't understand...both the ex & I have a healthy love of reading...and all 3 kids have to be PUSHED to read books.


So I'm putting together my chores list. I will go over it with them when they come home. Now I have to stick to my guns and be consistent.

Don't get me wrong, you're doing your duty and you should! I'm just saying that, if it doesn't work out straight away, don't let it eat you up. It's not your fault if it doesn't work out the way you imagined it straight away.

babynoz said:

Dave1992 said:

What I can probably contribute is, because my childhood is not too far away and that I'm also part of the internet generation, I know that sometimes nothing might help.

When I decided I didn't want to do something, I simply didn't do it. No amount of threat or explanation could have changed my mind. And as I got older and brighter and stronger (mentally and physically), from about 12 onwards, I completely decided to make my own rules and lost all kind of "blind respect" I had for my mother. If I decided it wasn't time to clean my room yet, because I had other priorities, I simply knew it was the right decision. And I wouldn't listen to anybody esle just because they were older.

It was only when my mother moved away and I decided to stay in Vienna, with my dad, when I became more disciplined and determined about organising my life properly. I had to sleep on my own for the first couple of months, until my father would finish refurbishing my grandfather's house, so he could also move and we could finally live together. His place was too small for the both of us and my mother was already gone. He came over during the day and made sure I had enough food, but he wasn't the master cook my mother was, he didn't just take my laundry and washed it without me knowing it, like my mother did, so I had to take care of myself mostly. Those 2-3 months made me grow up so quickly, I honestly don't know what else could. I was 15.


What I'm trying to say is, don't blame yourself and don't blame your children if it doesn't work out straight away and if they don't acknowledge your authority as much as you would wish they did. I'm sure they are intelligent and decent, because they have a nice dad (as I was, thanks to my upbringing), so there's not much of a risk they'll trail off completely. Let them find their feet and let them think for themselves. Offer to be there all the time, be a guiding friend, but if they don't understand why it is better to clean up your room, they probably won't do it. Children nowadays grow up way quicker than a couple of decades ago and they have learned to question everything and everybody, which makes life more difficult for their parents, but ultimately is a very good thing.

My oldest was like you...he had to understand the logic in order to be fully cooperative...we had quite a few epic battles before I figured that out and we're best pals now that he's 35,

It's exceptional that they let you live alone for a couple of months at 15.

There was no other way. I was at war with my mother, she had gone to another country and I had decided to stay. My father's place was too small for the both of us and my granddad's place was not yet refurbished so that the both of us could stay there.

He came over every day after I had finished school and stayed as long as his work permitted him to. And it wasn't necessarily having to do the housework that make me grow up in that time. It was rather being alone and having time to reflect on the commodities of life and of having people around you.

Dave1992 said:

babynoz said:

My oldest was like you...he had to understand the logic in order to be fully cooperative...we had quite a few epic battles before I figured that out and we're best pals now that he's 35,

It's exceptional that they let you live alone for a couple of months at 15.

There was no other way. I was at war with my mother, she had gone to another country and I had decided to stay. My father's place was too small for the both of us and my granddad's place was not yet refurbished so that the both of us could stay there.

He came over every day after I had finished school and stayed as long as his work permitted him to. And it wasn't necessarily having to do the housework that make me grow up in that time. It was rather being alone and having time to reflect on the commodities of life and of having people around you.

Wow. Without prying I will just say that I hope you and mom were able to reconcile.

babynoz said:

Dave1992 said:

There was no other way. I was at war with my mother, she had gone to another country and I had decided to stay. My father's place was too small for the both of us and my granddad's place was not yet refurbished so that the both of us could stay there.

He came over every day after I had finished school and stayed as long as his work permitted him to. And it wasn't necessarily having to do the housework that make me grow up in that time. It was rather being alone and having time to reflect on the commodities of life and of having people around you.

Wow. Without prying I will just say that I hope you and mom were able to reconcile.

I only manage to see her (and my little brother, whom I've always loved more than anything else in the world) about three times a year, and I think of them often. So yeah, we do get along better than ever.

It's such a cliché that it's almost funny, but it's true: you never know what you've got til it's gone.

I think chores are important for kids, they instill a sense of responsibility and order.

When I was younger, I did chores. While I did have to help around the house, I could keep
my room however I wanted with the reminder that:

1) all holes that I wanted to put in the walls had to be pre-approved
2) dirty dishes and food could not be stored in my room.
3) the carpet needed to stay unstained

4) the walls had to stay their original color
5) nothing could be growing mold
6) the house was a no-smoke zone, including my room. No fire.

My mom always said that if I wanted to live in a disorganized room, she would let me...but the
living room was everyones space, so my shoes needed to go IN MY ROOM!

Some suggestions.
1) (Depending on how many chores you wish to assign) Choose a few age appropriate chores that
make since for each of your individual children and let them pick which ones they do. This way,
they are still a part of the decision making but your needs/expectations are being met.

2) If you decide to pay them an allowance, give it to them consistantly. A chore chart
can be used so that things are visible for the children and you can see who did what. Those little
foil stars are cheap and you can use them to mark the chart. I would suggest actually handing
them the allowance, with refrence to chart, so they make the connection.

3) Stay consistent

4) Don't be afraid to re-work the system, it takes time.

5) Don't start yelling or coming un-done if they don't do what you ask. Negative behavior
works both ways and you will only end up feeding off each others response. You want to be
in control.

I never took anything away from my brother as "punishment" nor did I pay him an allowance.

It was always very clear that the gaming system, computer ect were mine. I payed for them and
he didn't. I knew that gaming was a huge incentive for him. If he did his chores and helped around
the house, he earned some mad gaming time.

If there was a game he was dying to have, we would work out a deal. He had to earn the game,
I didn't just run out and buy it for him.

During the month there were bigger privileges to be earned for a combo of doing well in school,
helping around the house, and keeping his word. If he had an excellent month I would let him
having a gaming night with his friends at the house (pizza, anyone?) or take him and a friend to
the $5.00 theatre or to the water-park.

I never understood taking things away from him. If he bought a video game with his own money,
or got it as a gift from a family member, what right did I have to take it away from him? I think
I would have had a fight on my hands if I attempted to punish him for not helping around the house.

Dave1992 said:

When I decided I didn't want to do something, I simply didn't do it. No amount of threat or explanation could have changed my mind.

I can relate to this!

I was usually pretty helpful, but when I decided I wasn't going to do something...that was that.

Going to beat me? Well...you better get to it!
Going to take my phone? Good thing I don't have any calls to make!

Can't have dinner? I was getting fat anyways!

My grandmother attempted to "teach me a lesson" about keeping my room clean. She invited
my friends and their parents (from church) to my house and had them come into my room and
chastise me for how messy it was. She wanted to embarrass me, but I didn't give a fuck about
what any of them had to say. When one of the parents said something I told him that if he
didn't like my room, he was free to leave...especially since I never invited him in to begin with!

My grandmother was the only person embarrassed that day.

LadyCasanova said:

Dave1992 said:

When I decided I didn't want to do something, I simply didn't do it. No amount of threat or explanation could have changed my mind.

I can relate to this!

I was usually pretty helpful, but when I decided I wasn't going to do something...that was that.

Going to beat me? Well...you better get to it!
Going to take my phone? Good thing I don't have any calls to make!

Can't have dinner? I was getting fat anyways!

My grandmother attempted to "teach me a lesson" about keeping my room clean. She invited
my friends and their parents (from church) to my house and had them come into my room and
chastise me for how messy it was. She wanted to embarrass me, but I didn't give a fuck about
what any of them had to say. When one of the parents said something I told him that if he
didn't like my room, he was free to leave...especially since I never invited him in to begin with!

My grandmother was the only person embarrassed that day.

Carbon copy of what I was like (including the situation with your grandmum!).

Dave1992 said:

babynoz said:

Wow. Without prying I will just say that I hope you and mom were able to reconcile.

I only manage to see her (and my little brother, whom I've always loved more than anything else in the world) about three times a year, and I think of them often. So yeah, we do get along better than ever.

It's such a cliché that it's almost funny, but it's true: you never know what you've got til it's gone.

So true.