Uhope said: BobGeorge909 said: And every female weighed in? Every woman in this thread had something to say on the topic. Those are the only comments I'm going by. Those can't be the only opinions you've encountered? | |
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Simple question. Is every and any use of the word bitch degrading and demeaning? [Edited 10/2/13 22:59pm] | |
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1. No, of course not. ![]() 2. In my opinion, it is only inoffensively used to describe a female dog. | |
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Not going to respond to every post or question posed, but I will say that I agree with you, BobGeorge, that intent IS important. The problem becomes the audience and whether or not they understand your intent. If someone's talking to a friend and they playfully call each other bitch and know there's no ill intent involved, then that's one thing. I don't like it, but it's not about me. |
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the word bitch, much like the word nigga (which could be changed from the original spellin) or even fag, these words (to some) have been used to create a unity usin the same words that were used to create a seperation from the user and a lower being. by takin a word used to degrade and releasin it from power one can own the word, instead of lettin a word own them. some gay people love referrin to themselves as faggots, just like you hear some women love to say they're bitches ho's and sluts, some niggas like the idea of callin themselves niggas BUT in most cases you'll find that, IT'S OK FOR THEM, YOU JUST BETTER NOT DO IT!!! you had best be a friend... words are words (true) and words can hurt some people. " a rose is a rose", is a rose... but watch out how you speak to fags, niggas, bitches, and ho's. it's somethin they can use that's exclusive to them, they own it, you don't own it, don't use it. i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT... ![]() STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE... | |
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Uhope said: 1. No, of course not. ![]() 2. In my opinion, it is only inoffensively used to describe a female dog. So two people in a house or apartment are having a conversation and use the term bitch in regards not each other, in a manner that these two people feel good about...is it an offensive use of the word? I just utterly baffeels me that any and all uses of any word can be deemed offensive...that's just silly and nonsensical. Again...u aren't them...so how can u determine what is offensive for them...that is for them to determine...how do u not understand that? | |
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Not "any and all uses". I stated where I believe such use is appropriate.
I'm NOT determining what's offensive for them or anyone. I've only...ONLY determined what's offensive to ME.
Like Carrie mentioned above, I am well aware that people like to use what are normally considered derogatory words as terms of affection amongst themselves, people they know well. Goody for them. Neither I nor anyone in my circle use that sort of language; I don't think it is positive. But if others want to, that's their business. But certainly not in MY house or apartment.
I just don't want to hear it (or foul language, in general). If I am one of the members of the conversation, I would request such language not be used. Or I would excuse myself.
Can you understand that? | |
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Something being offensive to a person doesn't require that it's offensive for all. That's just simple fact...I don't see how u can dispute it. Its ignorance. A forceful attempt to not understand another person. | |
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Okay.
I don't see where in this thread I said that things that are offensive to me should be offensive to all. I have always *only* stated my own thoughts. I am not campaigning for support.
Your thread topic claims that the "b" word is a "near badge of pride". I haven't read a statement here that confirms that claim. To be honest, it seems a bit more you than me who is inferring commiseration on a point of view.
It is not necessary for anyone else on the planet to feel the same way I do. About *anything*. I am free to believe as I wish and have my own standards.
Others do not have to live up to them, of course. Often I don't live up to them, either. But I am not required to indulge situations that make me uncomfortable. All I need to do is remove myself from the situation, not pass a law that prevents others from indulging. Y'all go ahead and call each other every name in the book. With love, of course.
I'm beginning to feel that you think my not agreeing with you on the use of various words/language is the same as not understanding you. I understand. I just do not like it and I do not agree with it. | |
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In any case. you now take that into account and move on with the information. You either change your behavior because of it or don't, but now you know that someone finds it offensive. |
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CarrieMpls said: Not going to respond to every post or question posed, but I will say that I agree with you, BobGeorge, that intent IS important. The problem becomes the audience and whether or not they understand your intent. If someone's talking to a friend and they playfully call each other bitch and know there's no ill intent involved, then that's one thing. I don't like it, but it's not about me. Hey I feel ya...and I understand the cringe-worthiness of that. Sometimes...probably not the offense of many...hell with probably...knowingly to the offense of many I find a sense of humor in an obviously untrue polar opposite statement. I think its a case of that...she's an obscenely forgiving woman, eloquent, intelligent, as far from belligerent as one can get with huge amounts not class. So not a bitch in any way that referring to her as a bitch is something I find humorous. Its apparent, I hope, that I love the woman...I sincerely desire that she be our next president...I wish she was now as a matter of face and Obama was in the Veep mansion waiting for his two terms...but that didn't happen....anyways...i realize I do this and that not everybody is clear as to what's going on in my head...if it bothers u...my bad...but it'll prolly happen again. I really pissed of a white girl i was dating once by jesting(at the time) that she was racist...didn't go over well...u know...she's a white girl sleeping with and dating a black guy...so obviously not racist. My opinion of her changed when restrains thoughts of hers came to the fore....turns out those behaviors don't eliminate racist attitudes I came to find. Anyways....jl I appreciate what ure saying Carrie and your thoughts r ruminating in my mind. | |
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Uhope said: Okay.
I don't see where in this thread I said that things that are offensive to me should be offensive to all. I have always *only* stated my own thoughts. I am not campaigning for support.
Your thread topic claims that the "b" word is a "near badge of pride". I haven't read a statement here that confirms that claim. To be honest, it seems a bit more you than me who is inferring commiseration on a point of view.
It is not necessary for anyone else on the planet to feel the same way I do. About *anything*. I am free to believe as I wish and have my own standards.
Others do not have to live up to them, of course. Often I don't live up to them, either. But I am not required to indulge situations that make me uncomfortable. All I need to do is remove myself from the situation, not pass a law that prevents others from indulging. Y'all go ahead and call each other every name in the book. With love, of course.
I'm beginning to feel that you think my not agreeing with you on the use of various words/language is the same as not understanding you. I understand. I just do not like it and I do not agree with it. I agree with you that no one in this thread has agreed with the statement that bitch is a near badge of pride. It doesn't mean a significant portion of English speakers don't take that stand...making an informed or ignorant decision in doing so. At this point that's beside the point. In my eyes...when you agree that ANY and ALL uses of the word bitch as being offensive...means that when I pick up the phone and say to my best friend "what's up bitch!" That I'm being offensive. I defiantly....defiantly....am NOT being offensive. U weren't there...u didn't hear it...it doesn't involve you...u don't know why or how I'm saying it...u don't know its being said... It may be offensive to you...but its not just flat out offensive in ANY and ALL instances of use. How can it be offensive when the ONLY parties involved(aside from some NSA agent) are feeling great about what's happening and being said? This is my problem. This is something I can't resolve and it seems to ever so slightly not get addressed to maybe what is a reasonable about of satisfaction. Every time I say I'm just going to stop...I just can't...it just puzzles me to no end. And to be clear...I don't want you to agree with me that a bitch is a near badge of pride...the topic is pointed at those who agree with that to some degree already and rather or not the next step could he appreciated by many. It wasn't any kind of serious crusade...just a thread to prompt some discussion and numerous comments...but then people announce that its offensive and that cunt is offensive...well no fucking duh! Black is dark and the sun is bright...if u don't appreciate the word bitch to any degree...your opinion it moot on that topic... Tbh...I would have had a better time if u hadn't spoken a word...but have fun. | |
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In my eyes...when you agree that ANY and ALL uses of the word bitch as being offensive...means that when I pick up the phone and say to my best friend "what's up bitch!" That I'm being offensive. I defiantly....defiantly....am NOT being offensive. U weren't there...u didn't hear it...it doesn't involve you...u don't know why or how I'm saying it...u don't know its being said... It may be offensive to you...but its not just flat out offensive in ANY and ALL instances of use. How can it be offensive when the ONLY parties involved(aside from some NSA agent) are feeling great about what's happening and being said? [/quote] Still not sure where you're getting the impression that I believe you are offending your friend. I'm not part of your hypothetical conversation. I've only spoken about what sounds good to MY ears in MY presence when I'M part of the conversation. How I particularly feel about the word, in general. I don't care what you call your friends. I've also qualified this "any and all" phrase you keep using.
Why would you start a thread if opinions different from yours would be moot?
Sorry you feel that way. Again, I meant no offense to you -- just attempting to engage in a conversation. You seem to think my expressions are meant to apply to everyone when I've consistently said they only reflect my own point of view and how my friends and I conduct our conversations. And I am not the only one in this thread who doesn't appreciate such terms to describe ourselves or other women. Tbh -- I've had a great time in this conversation.
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Uhope said:
In my eyes...when you agree that ANY and ALL uses of the word bitch as being offensive...means that when I pick up the phone and say to my best friend "what's up bitch!" That I'm being offensive. I defiantly....defiantly....am NOT being offensive. U weren't there...u didn't hear it...it doesn't involve you...u don't know why or how I'm saying it...u don't know its being said... It may be offensive to you...but its not just flat out offensive in ANY and ALL instances of use. How can it be offensive when the ONLY parties involved(aside from some NSA agent) are feeling great about what's happening and being said? Still not sure where you're getting the impression that I believe you are offending your friend. I'm not part of your hypothetical conversation. I've only spoken about what sounds good to MY ears in MY presence when I'M part of the conversation. How I particularly feel about the word, in general. I don't care what you call your friends. I've also qualified this "any and all" phrase you keep using.
Why would you start a thread if opinions different from yours would be moot?
Sorry you feel that way. Again, I meant no offense to you -- just attempting to engage in a conversation. You seem to think my expressions are meant to apply to everyone when I've consistently said they only reflect my own point of view and how my friends and I conduct our conversations. And I am not the only one in this thread who doesn't appreciate such terms to describe ourselves or other women. Tbh -- I've had a great time in this conversation. [/quote] Then good day. | |
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you rang?! Guess I picked a bad year to quit drinking... | |
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i find that most women who wear the badge 'bitch' proudly do so simply because someone of the male gender has affixed it to her, for daring to be outspoken or for putting a crack up in that glass ceiling most men enjoy standing on. * that is, women are frequently labeled 'bitch' by guys who wish to relegate said woman to her 'proper' place in their minds eye and to keep her from becoming too uppity. so a woman who survives the bitch label and goes on to love herself still, might be inclined to brag about it.
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^exactly. | |
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Uhope said:
This is what was said by you in the paula deen thread...it stood out and struck me...I'm sorry I held you to it...it appears your opinion changed...I like that. I've not met anyone who prefers to be cussed at so I guess I'll reserve my response to such a preference to the time I hear that. I'm sorry you feel I'm high-falutin' or narrow-minded; I don't think that of you. In MY opinion, there is never a place for racial or gender slurs in any conversation -- if you enjoy that at times, carry on. smile I was merely trying to get across how it may be possible to express how one feels about something or someone without making the other person feel insulted or get on the defense. [Edited 10/4/13 5:14am] | |
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Hmmmm. I don't see where that comment is that much different from what I've expressed here. Rude language never sounds like a good conversation to me, but for those who feel different, carry on. I'm happy you see a difference you like. ![]() | |
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tinaz said: No, because a true "bitch" scares men... Depends who youve been talking to, i dont think thats necessarily true. | |
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Uhope said: Hmmmm. I don't see where that comment is that much different from what I've expressed here. Rude language never sounds like a good conversation to me, but for those who feel different, carry on. I'm happy you see a difference you like. ![]() Ure impossible. When u state it like that...ure stating that I'm being rude and disrespectful to the people I'm speaking to and if we like it , go ahead and do it...'carry on' you said.(which iMO sounds disrespectful..."boughie" if u will.) I'm not being rude and disrespectful to my friends. Its like roughhousing... That's love... But taken out of context its merely violence. But wehen people r roughhousing.,they're expressing love...physically. Now taking a narrow or naive mindset...violence is violence and always bad... It seems u feel we enjoy disrespecting each other. It seems u fail to understand we aren't disrespecting each other. Like a real world Ned Flanders u are....I hope u realize Ned Flanders is a joke. | |
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I promise -- I do not understand why how I feel about words/language, etc. seems to rile you so much, although you do seem to like to infer much more meaning to my words than I intend (hmmm...). I bother you but you don't bother me. You and I do not know each other. We have absolutely NO impact on each other's lives. How we feel about how the other speaks, lives, etc. really has no bearing on our every day movements. We obviously have been raised differently and have acquired different values and ideas about life. Culture and age also likely play a part. Vive la difference!
Questions have been posed about the "usability" of certain words/phrases. I have chimed in here with my random two pennies on the topic (I don't even watch movies with excessive swearing in it -- I don't like to hear it) but have stated that my thoughts are my own about using the words, hearing others use them, what it means *to me*. I don't really care if you cuss your friends and family out regularly. You should not care what I think about it; it does not matter. But if you *ask* how I feel about it, I will let you know. Conversely, my friends speak politely to each other and talk about the Bible to strangers whenever the opportunity arises. How you or anyone else feels about those conversations matters not to me. It's our business.
This is just a message board with 9/10ths of the topic matter being trivial matters. You have no need to get so bent about how I feel or express myself. My opinion carries no more or less weight than anyone else's. No one needs my approval. [Edited 10/4/13 9:31am] | |
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Uhope said: I promise -- I do not understand why how I feel about words/language, etc. seems to rile you so much, although you do seem to like to infer much more meaning to my words than I intend (hmmm...). I bother you but you don't bother me. You and I do not know each other. We have absolutely NO impact on each other's lives. How we feel about how the other speaks, lives, etc. really has no bearing on our every day movements. We obviously have been raised differently and have acquired different values and ideas about life. Culture and age also likely play a part. Vive la difference!
Questions have been posed about the "usability" of certain words/phrases. I have chimed in here with my random two pennies on the topic (I don't even watch movies with excessive swearing in it -- I don't like to hear it) but have stated that my thoughts are my own about using the words, hearing others use them, what it means *to me*. I don't really care if you cuss your friends and family out regularly. You should not care what I think about it; it does not matter. But if you *ask* how I feel about it, I will let you know. Conversely, my friends speak politely to each other and talk about the Bible to strangers whenever the opportunity arises. How you or anyone else feels about those conversations matters not to me. It's our business.
This is just a message board with 9/10ths of the topic matter being trivial matters. You have no need to get so bent about how I feel or express myself. My opinion carries no more or less weight than anyone else's. No one needs my approval. [Edited 10/4/13 9:31am] OK u smart ass nobody. Dismissed. [Edited 10/4/13 9:40am] | |
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wow. | |
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Uhope said: wow. I'm not a sensitive soul....just entirely frustrated w/ someone who speaks in circles. | |
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I keep forgetting it's used a lot in songs. I had to listen to it constantly repeated song after song this morning being given a ride to work. It's annoying as hell. | |
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morningsong said: I keep forgetting it's used a lot in songs. I had to listen to it constantly repeated song after song this morning being given a ride to work. It's annoying as hell. I agree. I think I see it about the way you do. I mean go back 75 years and it was obscene for a woman to say she was headstrong. Even the word independent was taboo in regards to women...even amongst women. I'm sure there were not so kind words that attached those qualities. That said...there's a traditional definition of bitch and today's definition of bitch...which probably vary for many. It is usually an insult though...and can usually only be flipped when used in regards to women....it seems a woman can embrace being a bitch...but its much more rare for a male to attempt to pull that off with credibility. I mean bitches even come in the irresistible variety...no? | |
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