No, it isn't Rick Perry. No, it isn't Ted Cruz. No, it isn't me. It's THIS guy. And, YOU HAVE GOT TO SEE HIS GUITAR.

http://jezebel.com/delusi...1382052948

I am looking for a decent girl that wants to be in a long term monogamus relationship with me.

I want the girl to be attractive.

I like girls that are thin, or with a toned or athletic build. A average build is fine too, just as long as you are not over weight. I will not date a overweight or fat girl.

I like girls that are 130 pounds or less. Of course weight needs to be in proportion to their height, as long as they aren’t considred overweight, they should be fine.

Being overweight is a total dealbreaker with me.

I also like girls with long hair. I like a girl to look like a girl, not a man, I like a feminine, pretty girl. I like hair down to the shoulders at least. Sometimes I can make exceptions if it is shorter depending on how it looks on the girl. But for the most part, I love long hair.

Redheads are my favorite, next is Brunettes, and next is Blondes, in that order. I like all 3, but

I’m just saying if I had to choose, that’s my order of preference.

I will not date a Black girl. I don’t care if she looks like Halle Berry, I will not ever date a Black girl.

That's only the tip of the iceberg. You have GOT to click on the link and read the whole thing. And you have GOT to read the Reddit AMA stuff he did, some of which is posted on the comments.

But mainly, you have GOT TO SEE THIS GUITAR. C'mon, Prince! Sue this guy! Sue him HARD! LOL.

Wow. Some folks give states they live in a bad name. This guy is one of them.

Have y'all seen his Puffy Shirt?

Uhope said:

I don't know...kinda makes me delighted that he is so specific. No way a girl could be fooled, eh? Oughta make his pinkins' as slim as they should be!

Yeah obviously because who would date him?

Just FYI in case you haven't clicked the Jezebel link:

That list is about 20% of the whole thing. It gets MUCH weirder, LOL. I wanted to post the whole thing but it was just too long. I was afraid I'd get a

[img:$uid]http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111114161838/trollopolis/images/a/a1/Cool-story-bro-1.jpg[/img:$uid]

i wonder why some lucky girl hasn't already snapped this prize of a man up

watched some of the guitar vid... his timing is... ummm... interesting

i just read the whole thing... what a trip

Does thou eyes deceiveth moi? Is he trying to jam on an imitation Cloud geetar? What The Actual Fuck! If anything, he's honest so the hood boogas and trailer trash need not apply.

Correction EDIT, not a Cloud but it has similarites.

[Edited 9/26/13 19:13pm]

@ this homely, horse mouthed looking fool.

LadyZsaZsa said:

"I will not date a Black girl. I don’t care if she looks like Halle Berry, I will not ever date a Black girl." That's fine by me.

Exactly!

sure thing rusty... i'll take yer sister out on a date... but she better be purty... cause i gots my standards ya know


.

[Edited 9/26/13 20:33pm]

NO CHANCE IN HELL!

MadamGoodnight said:

he's gonna have to be in a really, really successful tribute band before that guitar ever gets him laid

MoBetterBliss said:

LadyZsaZsa said:

"I will not date a Black girl. I don’t care if she looks like Halle Berry, I will not ever date a Black girl." That's fine by me.

And me

LadyZsaZsa said:

MoBetterBliss said:

sure thing rusty... i'll take yer sister out on a date... but she better be purty... cause i gots my standards ya know


.

[Edited 9/26/13 20:33pm]

What? He could be 007.

What in the Sam Hill? That's sheer class in a pot.

MadamGoodnight said:

@ this homely, horse mouthed looking fool.

Am I the only one who is reminded of the Geico cave man when looking at this guy??

And I bet even *they* were cooler than this cat.

This guy is how I picture most of the males on this site.

JustErin said:

This guy is how I picture most of the males on this site.

OMG!!!

MoBetterBliss said:

JustErin said:

This guy is how I picture most of the males on this site.

he has whiter teeth than I do

orger said:

JustErin said:

This guy is how I picture most of the males on this site.

he has whiter teeth than I do

Wow. I thought you were dead.

JustErin said:

orger said:

he has whiter teeth than I do

Wow. I thought you were dead.

you're not that lucky!

Man.. this what makes my home stae look like it's nothing but rednecks and assholes. While that is somewhat true... things like this do not help

Dave1992 said:

Why does he look like he would be in a Nickleback tribute band?