Ok, i know some of y'all will hate this thread and get mad i even ask this.... but meh. I really would like serious opinions on this subject! it might actually help me out.

So, basically i haven't been on the dating thing in awhile. And i was doing the ''work only and don't worry about dating'' life for about a year.

Now i am 22 right now and fixing to turn 23 in December and i have a demanding job so dating has kind of been put away for awhile. I have had my fair share of ''safe fun'' times with some guys though especially over the summer.

In fact.. on a side note this guy i had been crushing on all summer who was visiting from China... wanted to hangout one last time. And we were hanging out and i offered him a foot massage. After that he said ''Since i am going back to China in two days perhaps we can have a farewell sex'' and that was a great night! i thought stuff like that only happened in movies

But for fun awhile after i said ''what the hell'' and got back on OkCupid after not being on for a year and a half. Well another great thing is as many know i have been body-building for a year and a half now. With that... and a great job i have a lot of confidence when i talk to people.

Most people i emailed responded back. which was a surprise! and there was on guy in particular who i talked to for awhile that caught my eye.

So we go on a really nice date, have a nice walk in the gardens at UCLA, then i played him piano at my house. After that i offered him a foot massage (Yeah i guess that's a thing with me) and then we started to cuddle i held him on my strong chest as we talked for like an hour. We even talked about going slow..................

But about an hour later... hormones raised and next thing you know... clothes were being ripped off and he was wanting me to fuck, rim, and finger like Mandingo the porn star.

We had a fun shower afterwards and then we parted ways... he did accept a second date.

But i think because i have been on the ''having fun'' vibe for awhile it's hard to control the urges sometimes when you are on a real deal date. The thing is... i like this guy! now it was only 1 date so i am not saying it will lead to anything serious but i do dig him.

Has anyone else that issue of wanting to go slow on a first, second, or third date but emotions took over and sex got involved?

What did you do in those situations? thanks orgers

Stymie said:

I love your threads.

i can take that as a good and bad thing

Why control your urges? If you're with someone and you're into them and they're into you why wait? Dont put so much emphasis on sex. Its not some huge deal.

That being said, taking a guy back to your house for piano playing and foot fetish is basically gonna end up in le petite mort.

Yeah I can remember with some women wanting to keep things from getting too hot physically before we had a chance to know each other emotionally. I think I had a habit of jumping into bed on the first date just out of, you know, IF NOT NOW WHEN?!

Later it seemed a good idea to move just that much slower. And it helped. First-date sex made later dating a little bit complicated. It's tough to discover you really don't like the person you're having sex with. Now I have to break up with her before I've even gotten to know her!

It's reasonable to say, I'm not having sex with anyone I don't really like. That means you need enough time to decide if you like them or not before having sex. And that means waiting a little.

Put it ths way... the last girl that got impatient waiting for me to be ready is now my wife.

bobzilla77 said:

Put it ths way... the last girl that got impatient waiting for me to be ready is now my wife.

that is an intersting perspective.

lazycrockett said:

Why control your urges? If you're with someone and you're into them and they're into you why wait? Dont put so much emphasis on sex. Its not some huge deal.

That being said, taking a guy back to your house for piano playing and foot fetish is basically gonna end up in le petite mort.

it's just... idk. I know i am young and everything... but if i ever want another real relationship again i feel taking it slow is best. I mean plus i wouldn't want us to get bored after awhile if we have sex ont he first date!

On that date i need to STOP offering foot massages... EVERY SINGLE TIME i offered it in the summer... it lead to sex

Gunsnhalen said:

lazycrockett said:

Why control your urges? If you're with someone and you're into them and they're into you why wait? Dont put so much emphasis on sex. Its not some huge deal.

That being said, taking a guy back to your house for piano playing and foot fetish is basically gonna end up in le petite mort.

Be glad.

Sure, these encounters may seem meaningless now, but simply enjoy them. Obviously people are enjoying you and your company. Go with it. Enjoy them and the "good times." If something more meaningful should ever become of it, it would have to start from somewhere. At 22/23, you are far too young (sorry) to think the first time will lead to the magical/fantasy of it leading to finding The One. It's just the times and world we live in. It is wonderful that you seem to be such a romantic at heart though, and so there is no doubt that EVENTUALLY things will work out. Like I said, at 22/23, it is near impossible to say it can happen now. Give it time and - in the meanwhile - enjoy yourself.

I say that because, tweny years ago, when I was feeling the same way, I would have given anything to be in a relationship. Instead, I will admit I had the opportunity to slut around and be taken advantage of (take that however you want). Now, at 43, I would like to be able to have the types of encounters I had when I was younger. I can't, however, for a number of reasons:

1.) At 43, the pickings are way more limited and no one is as attractive or attainable as when I was 23.

2.) I am in a committed relationship now, and even though it is something I wanted - I'm not sure I can risk throwing it away for something that could only be just a brief encounter.

3.) As you get older, your perspective and priorities change and - somehow - it is like the stars align and things just fall into place as they should be. And what's surprising about this is that it seems to happen when you least expect it.

4.) I am 43 now. Older and MUCH wiser than when I was 23. I'd like to think I make better choices now.

'Hope that helps. Think about what others have said so far too. The sex is not a thing to complain about. At least you are getting some!

You're doing what you're supposed to at your age.

Enjoy it.

Just be SAFE as all hell.

there is obviously no hope for you! you cannot be tamed, just get in there & bask in the pleasure!

Gunsnhalen said:

I held him on my strong chest as we talked for like an hour.

I love this little piece of epic self love.

well, sometimes it's "Trying To Have Sex But It Leads to Dates"

make sure you practice safe sex.........condoms..if its not on its not on........................and what is the thing with licking someones dirty arsehole.....its just too gross...............

all the hair and shit...........the smell....ewwwwwww

MaxiMPact said:

make sure you practice safe sex.........condoms..if its not on its not on........................and what is the thing with licking someones dirty arsehole.....its just too gross...............

all the hair and shit...........the smell....ewwwwwww

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[Edited 9/22/13 5:36am]

hehehehhhe..and shit and shit....................what is the facination with the poo hole anyways..........

Tempest said:

MaxiMPact said:

make sure you practice safe sex.........condoms..if its not on its not on........................and what is the thing with licking someones dirty arsehole.....its just too gross...............

all the hair and shit...........the smell....ewwwwwww

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[Edited 9/22/13 5:36am]

hemeroids...........nice big purple swollen itchy hemeroids...hahahahahahaha

To quote a famous musician:

Ooh little darlin if you're free

for a couple of hours

If U ain't busy for the next

se7en years

Let's pretend we're married

and go all night

There ain't nuthin' wrong

if it feels alright

I won't stop until

the morning light

Let's pretend we're married

and go all night.....tonight!

Ooh we sha sha coo coo yeah

All the hippies sing together

JoeTyler said:

well, sometimes it's "Trying To Have Sex But It Leads to Dates"

tell me more about this

MaxiMPact said:

hehehehhhe..and shit and shit....................what is the facination with the poo hole anyways..........

Tempest said:

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[Edited 9/22/13 5:36am]

hemeroids...........nice big purple swollen itchy hemeroids...hahahahahahaha

People douche and clean down there you know that right?

Are you ok with eatin pussy? that bleads, has all kinds of weird colors and discharges that come from it, and piss comes out of it as well. But guys will still get deep in it even if it's not clean.

Gunsnhalen said:

JoeTyler said:

well, sometimes it's "Trying To Have Sex But It Leads to Dates"

tell me more about this

-sometimes, I feel the immediate urge to have sex with a certain individual, but instead of sex, I must face a looong period of courting, dates, etc. At that point, I might have lost the desire of sex

-sometimes, after a night of great sex, the certain individual feels the urge to have more dates (non-necessarily sexual) even if we both know thst the whole story should have ended as a 1 nite stand

it's complicated

Gunsnhalen said:

MaxiMPact said:

hehehehhhe..and shit and shit....................what is the facination with the poo hole anyways..........

hemeroids...........nice big purple swollen itchy hemeroids...hahahahahahaha

People douche and clean down there you know that right?

Are you ok with eatin pussy? that bleads, has all kinds of weird colors and discharges that come from it, and piss comes out of it as well. But guys will still get deep in it even if it's not clean.

Wow, that's an interesting synopisis of the female genitalia.

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If it's too colorful and has copious amounts of discharge, I'd keep my distance.

LadyCasanova said:

tinaz said:

Werid colors??? WTF??

Gunsnhalen said:

tinaz said:

Werid colors??? WTF??

I saw pictures miss I swear

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