I thought I had a friend... she is currently a FB friend.

I thought she was cool and I really liked her.

Then yesterday I saw her posts and "likes" in a newly formed and local hate group (Southie White Panthers) that will target my (minority) neighbors, maybe even me since I am one of the "lima beans" they speak of in the community.

The page was formed by some local guy in response to a recent murder of a young girl named Amy who was savagely stabbed to death and the killer is a black/Latino??? male.

Now folks are saying they need to police the area like "George Zimmerman".

Do I confront her? Or just write her off?

She may claim she isn't racist because she has a black live in boyfriend and two children by him, but why would she like and be a part of something so ugly?

Defriend.

I am gutted... her kids.

Guess you guys are right... I guess I am too far removed to help her in a real way. Heartbreaking.

Thank you

[Edited 7/29/13 8:52am]

I'm curious to know if her boyfriend knows that she "Liked" this hate group on her facebook page?

She sounds very conflicted between her white world, and the world she associates with, especially with the Zimmerman case and the Amy case.

I don't know about her boyfriend knowing about the page...

I myself would have NEVER known about the page... she shared a post and the title of the page made me click on it.

The administrator claims not to be racist but the "style" of the page is a breeding ground for folks who dislike the minorities in my community, also to spew negativity and organize themselves.

BUT thank fully, there are a few people saying they don't like the title of the page that it sends a wrong message and even a few people stating they will report the group.

My friend likes the negative posts made and agrees with the overall divisive talk and misleading fear tactics made to rise up anger on the page.

I know about 4-5 people in the community on that page so far, I feel sick. I feel attacked. I KNOW these people, and they know me and my kids.

Damn, I liked these people. My neighborhood has a bad history and reputation for race issues. I pray stuff isn't started up over Amy's death.

Amy was brutally killed and I hope her killer gets what's coming to him, but to rile up a whole neighborhood over on asshole.

Is this a friend in "real life" that you've interacted with in person?

At any rate, if I were in your shoes I'd be asking them about it. I've never shied away from voicing my opinion and never let the possibility of confrontation keep me from speaking up (actually, quite the contrary lol )...I would have sent them a note saying "What the hell?" (or words to that effect lol...)

Beautifulstarr123 said:

She sounds very conflicted between her white world, and the world she associates with, especially with the Zimmerman case and the Amy case.

I am beginning to think she is like some of the "old school" folks my neighborhood that have a "you don't belong here" mentality. Many moved away when the neighborhood was desegregated about 15 years ago.

But I thought racial stuff for the most part was a thing of the past here since so many young couples are bi-racial (including her) ... being hopeful I guess.

Guess this incident brought up a lot of underlying anger.

http://www.bostonglobe.co...story.html

Byron said:

Is this a friend in "real life" that you've interacted with in person?

At any rate, if I were in your shoes I'd be asking them about it. I've never shied away from voicing my opinion and never let the possibility of confrontation keep me from speaking up (actually, quite the contrary lol )...I would have sent them a note saying "What the hell?" (or words to that effect lol...)

Yes, I see her all the time, our children went to the same elementary school and we have common friends. I am more of the "new commer" of the group since they grew up in Southie and I didn't.

I am older, in my early 40's she is in her 20's and her aunts and neighbors are friends of mine too.

I will have to confront her.

I think I have no choice in the matter. Gonna see her around here and there.

[Edited 7/29/13 9:34am]

i'd cut her off

if she was bothered and asked why, i'd politely tell her that after finding that stuff out, i realise we're 2 very different people, so while i wish you well, i'd rather we just go our seperate ways

I was in exactly the very same situation a few months ago...and when I say exactly the same situation, I mean it literally.

I just defriended that idiot without even getting into any conversation about it. Haven´t seen him eversince but if I saw him and he asked me, I´d just tell him but I don´t feel the need to explain things on FB to him. He´s not even obviously racist, so you can imagine my surprise and feelings of disappointment when I saw that he was a member of a racist hategroup.

Yeah, I don't think she is not MY friend, if she is agreeing with calling Latinos derogatory names yet smiling up in my face.

Why would she have bi-racial kids??? Then fregging like a post that called blacks in my neighborhood monkeys? I just do NOT understand that. I can not smile up in someone's face and act friendly when I see stuff like that.

[Edited 7/29/13 10:05am]

Thanks everyone... I feel a bit better seeing these posts because they make me realize I do know some awesome and amazing people.

aardvark15 said:

Defriend. Definetly. Shouldn't even be a question.

Exactly

luv4u said:

aardvark15 said:

Defriend. Definetly. Shouldn't even be a question.

Exactly

Done...

I will speak to her when I see her.

I feel sorry for her kids.

paintedlady said:

aardvark15 said:

paintedlady said:

Done...

I will speak to her when I see her.

I feel sorry for her kids.

Child minds are polluted with hate all the time. Even the Westboro Baptist Church has children. It's sad but it's a part of life. Hope you can move on easily from this. I've been in similar situations myself

I hope so too...

I reported the page to my building management office... since they photographed tennant stubs and it seems the administrator of the page is making criminal claims against the managers and attacks on my neighbors.

I am sure I will be talking to the mothers in our group about this ... it might get ugly because this woman is a relative to two of my friends my age. I am sure she is not alone in her thoughts since one of my other friends asked my daughter if she was really black because "didn't look like a n----- " . That was 3 years ago... fun times.

paintedlady said:

paintedlady said:

paintedlady said:

If she is truly someone that you consider a "friend" then you owe it to her & yourself to resolve this. Have an open discussion. Ask her why she feels the need to partake in that group.

She is either just stupid and running out of sheer emotion (everyone does that once in a while) or she is venting feelings & emotions that she's been keeping under wraps.

Considering that she has bi-racial children from an african-American who she choses to live her life with...I tend to think she's just stupid (not thinking clearly).

White is the new Black.

BobGeorge909 said:

paintedlady said:

I hope so too...

I reported the page to my building management office... since they photographed tennant stubs and it seems the administrator of the page is making criminal claims against the managers and attacks on my neighbors.

I am sure I will be talking to the mothers in our group about this ... it might get ugly because this woman is a relative to two of my friends my age. I am sure she is not alone in her thoughts since one of my other friends asked my daughter if she was really black because "didn't look like a n----- " . That was 3 years ago... fun times.

Well i'd rather have a turd in my pool than have that happen....not cool AT ALL. [img:$uid]http://www.easymemes.com/uploads/memes/35201_kNEpdid6wchuUDi.jpg[/img:$uid]

Well, the n-word comment issue was resolved quickly and easily. The aunt ( the mother of my daughter's playmate) avoided me like the plauge for months after but then apologised profusely again and said she was an a--hole for not teaching her kids better. I forgave her and we moved on from that. Everything was good until yesterday.

___UP DATE___

Oh and she jumped off that page today and removed her comments. I guess after she saw my post on FB. I am sure she noticed the de-friend.... maybe not????

Any ways, I am glad she isn't on that page liking hateful posts. Maybe she had a person on her boyfriend's side of that family check her?

Its a shame really... I would like to think she was genuinely happy with her life and family. Her family knows she is in a biracial relationship and I thought to them that racism wasn't an issue. Maybe the girl is just young and dumb.

I hope she changes and soon.

PurpleJedi said:

If she is truly someone that you consider a "friend" then you owe it to her & yourself to resolve this. Have an open discussion. Ask her why she feels the need to partake in that group.

She is either just stupid and running out of sheer emotion (everyone does that once in a while) or she is venting feelings & emotions that she's been keeping under wraps.

Considering that she has bi-racial children from an african-American who she choses to live her life with...I tend to think she's just stupid (not thinking clearly).

I don't think you can teach a person who doesn't want to learn from you. Her man may reach her because she may want to keep her family together.

But she may not want to talk to me because it seems like the Latinos (men) are killing folks all over the USA headlines recently and if she says something dumb, ya'll might see my Latino ass in and orange jumpsuit.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

White is the new Black.

I am so disappointed in her... this situation really took me by surprise.

Maybe she was dragged into this by someone she didn't feel telling "no" to. That's currently the only explaination I can think of at this point. Strange situation

aardvark15 said:

Maybe she was dragged into this by someone she didn't feel telling "no" to. That's currently the only explaination I can think of at this point. Strange situation

Yeah, I hope so.

She is in her twenties and may be upset about the murder of Amy Lords. Many people here are pissed about her death. She may have known her?