Deadflow3r said:

You don't want to make a move that makes both of you uncomfortable should your attraction not be mutual. It helps to have a sense of humor and use it to draw the person in. Really, all you want them to do to begin with is talk to you.

We talk all the time,and he is always ofering up info about himself that I never even ask about. He is always wanting to do things for me,trying to make me laugh,he has even told another guy that he likes my laugh.He is very respectful to me (ie: no swearing) in front of me,and if he does,even though I don't mind it,he always says sorry for his language. He touches me occasionally,always stands close when he can.

There are more things,but he seems to be giving all the signs that he is interested,but he is just not making the move to ask me out. We work together,so the only thing I can think of is he is afraid of losing his job should things go bad,which sucks for me,cause I really like him.

EmeraldSkies said:

Deadflow3r said:

You don't want to make a move that makes both of you uncomfortable should your attraction not be mutual. It helps to have a sense of humor and use it to draw the person in. Really, all you want them to do to begin with is talk to you.

We talk all the time,and he is always ofering up info about himself that I never even ask about. He is always wanting to do things for me,trying to make me laugh,he has even told another guy that he likes my laugh.He is very respectful to me (ie: no swearing) in front of me,and if he does,even though I don't mind it,he always says sorry for his language. He touches me occasionally,always stands close when he can.

There are more things,but he seems to be giving all the signs that he is interested,but he is just not making the move to ask me out. We work together,so the only thing I can think of is he is afraid of losing his job should things go bad,which sucks for me,cause I really like him.

time to jump in... just say "hey do you want to hang out this weekend?... maybe grab a coffee or something?"

JustErin said:

Men always say they do but when it comes down to reality, most men think women who make the first move are either just whores that they will fuck but never respect or that she is just desperate.

However, most women won't make the first move because they never, ever have to.

you know, you seem to like lumping dudes together in to one box a fair bit... the guys you're talking about might be the guys that you're used to having in your life... but we're a pretty diverse bunch

EmeraldSkies said:

Deadflow3r said:

You don't want to make a move that makes both of you uncomfortable should your attraction not be mutual. It helps to have a sense of humor and use it to draw the person in. Really, all you want them to do to begin with is talk to you.

We talk all the time,and he is always ofering up info about himself that I never even ask about. He is always wanting to do things for me,trying to make me laugh,he has even told another guy that he likes my laugh.He is very respectful to me (ie: no swearing) in front of me,and if he does,even though I don't mind it,he always says sorry for his language. He touches me occasionally,always stands close when he can.

There are more things,but he seems to be giving all the signs that he is interested,but he is just not making the move to ask me out. We work together,so the only thing I can think of is he is afraid of losing his job should things go bad,which sucks for me,cause I really like him.

In my experience, if men are truly interested in you (and you have given off the vibes that you are interested too) then they will definitely make the first move and ask you out on a date or ask to hang out with you. End of story.

If you are feeling frustrated because he's showing you all of this attention which makes it seem like he's interested in you but he isn't asking you out, then he isn't really truly interested. That's how I would take it and move on.

[Edited 6/26/13 4:55am]

MoBetterBliss said:

JustErin said:

Men always say they do but when it comes down to reality, most men think women who make the first move are either just whores that they will fuck but never respect or that she is just desperate.

However, most women won't make the first move because they never, ever have to.

you know, you seem to like lumping dudes together in to one box a fair bit... the guys you're talking about might be the guys that you're used to having in your life... but we're a pretty diverse bunch

Not really, people are generally the same. Not nearly as diverse as one would like to think.

But it's quite the opposite in my experience actually. I have not been involved with men like that because I have no time for lame guys that think that way. And if you count yourself as one of the guys that does not think that way, cool.

However, a few exceptions do not dispel the general rule.

JustErin said:

Not really, people are generally the same.

this is where you and i fundamentally disagree

JustErin said:

MoBetterBliss said:

you know, you seem to like lumping dudes together in to one box a fair bit... the guys you're talking about might be the guys that you're used to having in your life... but we're a pretty diverse bunch

Not really, people are generally the same. Not nearly as diverse as one would like to think.

But it's quite the opposite in my experience actually. I have not been involved with men like that because I have no time for lame guys that think that way. And if you count yourself as one of the guys that does not think that way, cool.

However, a few exceptions do not dispel the general rule.

Erin you and I are nothing alike. Nothing.

I appretiate your comments specifically because you see things totally differently then I do.

Since you and I are only in each others world due to Prince.org and we live in two different countries, I know you don't write things to contradict me but just simply to express a totally different viewpoint.

I am not attracted to sexually dominating men; I just am not. I enjoy men who prefer to be the less aggressive person in a sexual relationship. Many of the ones that I have met have jobs that are highly competitve and macho. They have plenty of opportunities in their life to express that side of themselves.

I no more think that men who take the more submissive role in a sexual relationship are "lame" then you are "lame" ( a woman who clearly prefers the more submissive role).

Submissive people in general are not lame. They just simply feel more comfortable making the second move then the first one. They are often well educated and accomplished.

Now, not necessarily is everone submissive who would prefer to be asked then do the asking but I think it is common.

[Edited 6/26/13 7:50am]

[Edited 6/26/13 7:53am]

[Edited 6/26/13 8:02am]

MoBetterBliss said:

EmeraldSkies said:

We talk all the time,and he is always ofering up info about himself that I never even ask about. He is always wanting to do things for me,trying to make me laugh,he has even told another guy that he likes my laugh.He is very respectful to me (ie: no swearing) in front of me,and if he does,even though I don't mind it,he always says sorry for his language. He touches me occasionally,always stands close when he can.

There are more things,but he seems to be giving all the signs that he is interested,but he is just not making the move to ask me out. We work together,so the only thing I can think of is he is afraid of losing his job should things go bad,which sucks for me,cause I really like him.

time to jump in... just say "hey do you want to hang out this weekend?... maybe grab a coffee or something?"

Yes, I agree with this.

I knew a female bartender once who worked at her families restaurant. Her aunt also worked the bar. There was a working man who came in on a regular basis after his shift was over. The aunt noticed that he clearly was more interested in talking to her neice then drinking. He came in over and over again. The niece, a petite but fiesty lass, was raised to wait to be asked out on a date (that is what ALL men like,lol). She could not understand why he seemed to like her so very much yet never ever asked her out. Finally the aunt told her "You must make the first move with this one!!!" "If you do not make the first move, the two of you will be going on like this forever!"

True enough, the barmaid listened to her aunts advice and it wasn't long before they were engaged. I think they have been married now for over 20 years.

[Edited 6/26/13 8:10am]

Not really-

My thinking in that situation is that she probably has had a bit too much "practice"

with this technique with men before me and thats a huge turn off!

Deadflow3r said:

JustErin said:

Not really, people are generally the same. Not nearly as diverse as one would like to think.

But it's quite the opposite in my experience actually. I have not been involved with men like that because I have no time for lame guys that think that way. And if you count yourself as one of the guys that does not think that way, cool.

However, a few exceptions do not dispel the general rule.

Erin you and I are nothing alike. Nothing.

I appretiate your comments specifically because you see things totally differently then I do.

Since you and I are only in each others world due to Prince.org and we live in two different countries, I know you don't write things to contradict me but just simply to express a totally different viewpoint.

I am not attracted to sexually dominating men; I just am not. I enjoy men who prefer to be the less aggressive person in a sexual relationship. Many of the ones that I have met have jobs that are highly competitve and macho. They have plenty of opportunities in their life to express that side of themselves.

I no more think that men who take the more submissive role in a sexual relationship are "lame" then you are "lame" ( a woman who clearly prefers the more submissive role).

Submissive people in general are not lame. They just simply feel more comfortable making the second move then the first one. They are often well educated and accomplished.

Now, not necessarily is everone submissive who would prefer to be asked then do the asking but I think it is common.

[Edited 6/26/13 7:50am]

[Edited 6/26/13 7:53am]

[Edited 6/26/13 8:02am]

Your posts confuse me.

JustErin said:

JoeTyler said:

I can see you have a very high opinion of men

It's neither a high or low opinion.

All opinions are "high" or "low". IF they weren't, they'd be facts.

Byron said:

JustErin said:

It's neither a high or low opinion.

All opinions are "high" or "low". IF they weren't, they'd be facts.

I know for a FACT that I have neither a high or low opinion of men.

JustErin said:

Byron said:

All opinions are "high" or "low". IF they weren't, they'd be facts.

I know for a FACT that I have neither a high or low opinion of men.

Which means you have no opinion of men lol...

Byron said:

JustErin said:

I know for a FACT that I have neither a high or low opinion of men.

Which means you have no opinion of men lol...

No, it means I am neutral.

EMPEROR101 said:

Not really-

My thinking in that situation is that she probably has had a bit too much "practice"

with this technique with men before me and thats a huge turn off!

Well, of course it should come naturally and not be merely an "act". We, as men, should not simply let our "practice" show either, just because we are expected to make the first move. Sincerity is a must, both ways.

JustErin said:

Byron said:

All opinions are "high" or "low". IF they weren't, they'd be facts.

I know for a FACT that I have neither a high or low opinion of men.

I always have to make the 1st move like tonight

It is unfortunate that women are taught that they should not make the first move. It takes a while to move past that training. It feels extremely awkward and the last thing you want to do is come across as a very awkward individual.