^, oh, I paid the price. won't do it again, either. i really really really hate not being able to eat things i want to eat. bah. but the good news is, my guilt is gone, replaced by a healthy self-loathing

JustErin said:

dJJ said:

well, that indeed is a turn of events that is regretable. Did anybody get hurt, or did they get out ok?

Unfortunately as it turned out, it's the hindsight that inflicts the guilt.

If any of you knew in advance what would have happened, everybody involved probably made different choices. So, don't be to hard on yourself.

It's unwise to drive when upset, but sometimes, I guess, in the heat of the moment that happens.

Did you all manage to talk about the issue that evoked the emotional argument in a more calm and rational manner?

They were hurt and spent some time in the hospital but they will be ok.

It's hard not to feel somewhat responsible but I do know that it's not really my fault at all.

If you would not feel concerned about them, I would get worried. You'r not a monster.

It is humane to care about them in this chain of events.

Did you all have had contact again? Did you send a card or flowers?

Nobody can change what happened, but you guys can influence how it goes from now on.

dJJ said:

JustErin said:

They were hurt and spent some time in the hospital but they will be ok.

It's hard not to feel somewhat responsible but I do know that it's not really my fault at all.

If you would not feel concerned about them, I would get worried. You'r not a monster.

It is humane to care about them in this chain of events.

Did you all have had contact again? Did you send a card or flowers?

Nobody can change what happened, but you guys can influence how it goes from now on.

I had no idea it even happened for 5 days, even though I tried and tried to get them all that time.

We have talked about it and things are ok.

JustErin said:

dJJ said:

If you would not feel concerned about them, I would get worried. You'r not a monster.

It is humane to care about them in this chain of events.

Did you all have had contact again? Did you send a card or flowers?

Nobody can change what happened, but you guys can influence how it goes from now on.

I had no idea it even happened for 5 days, even though I tried and tried to get them all that time.

We have talked about it and things are ok.

That's though. Probably plays a role in how you experience it now. If you would have been able to talk to them immediately, you would not have felt the frustration and worrying about them. Surely that elevated your guilt levels somewhat.

Good that you did manage to talk about it and you'r all good again.

Don't be to hard on yourself, you'r a good person, you know you did not wish them any harm.

XxAxX said:

^, oh, I paid the price. won't do it again, either. i really really really hate not being able to eat things i want to eat. bah. but the good news is, my guilt is gone, replaced by a healthy self-loathing

No, nothing healthy about self-loating.

I don't think there are a lot elderly, who look back at their lives, and regret that they did not feel more horrible about themselves for eating a pizza.

I mean, do you know people who wished they would have spoiled their life more with self-loating over the very important, however rare, event of eating a pizza with gluten?

My bet is that they wished to cherish their life and apreciate themselves for who they are.

Including an occasional pizza.

XxAxX said:

^, oh, I paid the price. won't do it again, either. i really really really hate not being able to eat things i want to eat. bah. but the good news is, my guilt is gone, replaced by a healthy self-loathing

I have the kind of guilt that is extremely delayed. Sometimes it will take me years to feel guilty for

something I did or said. Most of my guilt has to do with the way I treated some people back in

high school and my privilege (it is hard for me to look at how my mom and siblings live and not

feel like I shouldn't have the life that I do).

Most of the time, if I know that I am in the wrong I try to make it right in someway. That way,

I don't end up feeling guilty. For me, guilty isn't the same as just feeling bad or sorry, it is more

of a lingering feeling that never really goes completely away, even if I do apologize etc.

dJJ said:

XxAxX said:

^, oh, I paid the price. won't do it again, either. i really really really hate not being able to eat things i want to eat. bah. but the good news is, my guilt is gone, replaced by a healthy self-loathing

^^^That sounds great to me.

I think real guilt would be like accidently kiling someone. (Like with a car or one of IMAGO's roofies.).

Never..........

JustErin said:

dJJ said:

What is bothering you, the fact that you feel somewhat responsible for something or the event itself?

And what is bothersome about feeling that you played a role in a chain of events?

All of it. I had a very emotional argument with someone then they got in a car, drove upset and had an accident that almost killed them.

Don't be so full of yourself.....maybe the accident had nothing to do with u...maybe they are just a bad driver.....just joking...LOL.

JustErin said:

Are you someone that generally deals with feelings of guilt? How do you deal with these feelings? Do you just keep all inside? Do you lash out at others?

Do you often have feelings of guilt even when you clearly are not at fault at all?

I feel guilty about everything, but try not to show it so people won't take advantage of it. It still happens though.