kitbradley said:

iaminparties said:

When it comes to HIV.It's safer for a male to sleep with 100 different random female prostitutes than it is to be in a monogamous relationship with a single woman.

Figure that out

[Edited 2/18/13 15:41pm]

Any man willing to test/prove that theory is a complete moron.

It's a fact,not a theory.Note I said HIV and not other STDS.

Im waiting for someone to figure it out.

[Edited 2/18/13 16:45pm]

kitbradley said:

iaminparties said:

When a man sees a hooker,he's not paying just for the sex,but for her to leave.It's just sex.Sometimes it's like that with random casual pickup.

People need to seperate sex and love.

I asked a married friend of mine who has sex with prostitutes why on earth would he pay $300 or $400 to be with a prostitute when there are women who are willing to do the same thing for free??? He said because there is no committment. There are no emotional feelings. Prostitutes don't call you. You call them. While I personally cant relate to that line of thinking, I understood what he was saying. but at the same time, I felt so bad for him because, IMO, if you reduce yourself to having sex with prostitutes, there is a lot lacking in your life and your spirit. Not to mention the enormous risks you are taking with your health.

[Edited 2/18/13 16:26pm]

You're not taking enourmous risk with your health,if you use a condom.God forbid do not go down on a hooker.I read these stories on other forums on guys doing this.OMG

It's more dangerous on your way seeing the hooker than having sex with her.You're likely to get into car accident or run into a sting operation or get stood up by shady prostitute than something bad sexually happening to you.But this can be avoided by thorough research.

iaminparties said:

You're not taking enourmous risk with your health,if you use a condom.

Same thing if a man if having sex with another healthy man. As long as a condom is being used, there is no enormous health risk involved.

[Edited 2/18/13 17:23pm]

iaminparties said:

You're likely to get into car accident or run into a sting operation or get stood up by shady prostitute than something bad sexually happening to you.But this can be avoided by thorough research.

Research on the prostitute??? Guys who are into prostitutues usually aren't that smart to begin with.

aardvark15 said:

If only kids and young adults were taught about safe sex instead of simply being told not to do it at all this crap might not be happening

Yes.

Less abortions too.

JustErin said:

imago said:

I believe men are only monogomous by his options or opportunities.

I really believe that men are inclined to cheat. Some of my closest friends (straight), who are genuinely nice people, have cheated on their wives. All it took was the right mood, the right night out with the guys, etc. It really seems to be built into men.

And so many women think their guys are faithful--like they rae the 'one' who isn't being cheated on. This might be true, but more times than not, I think they've got blinders on.

I think alot of women cheat on their lovers too. Just not as many.

I can't blame men for wanting to basically screw everything in sight because it's biologically what is ingrained in them. Those urges are completely natural - whether we want to admit it or not.

Marriage was not traditionally about monogamy (when it came to the man) or even love. It was a property transaction and men married to ensure that their offspring were theirs and to eliminate competition. Their extramarital affairs were not only standard practice, they were actually not considered inappropriate by anyone.

It's only in very recent years that monogamy for both partners became the "ideal". So basically in order for it become an equal union, we decided to not allow women to have the same freedom that men traditionally have had, we decided put the same limitations on men that women had since pretty much day one.

It's a really nice idea...on paper, however, not very practical.

I do have an higher opinion of men. I think they are capable of being civilized and adjusted. They can behave more sophisticated than an animal who is lead by his instinct.

I think men are capable of making responsible decisions.

Or do you think they are at the same level of wild animals and therefore not responsible for their actions?

Do you agree with the adagium among Muslim men, that woman should cover themselves up, because it can't be expected from men to inhibit themselves if a woman shows her ankles, hair or anything of her skin for that matter?

kitbradley said:

iaminparties said:

Research on the prostitute??? Guys who are into prostitutues usually aren't that smart to begin with.

The smartest and most powerful men use prostitutes.They don't want emotional baggage or possibility of 18 years 18 years.People are likely to make mistakes like unprotected sex in a monogamous relationship.

I don't think it's in men's nature to be pigs. Maybe that's how society looks at it (and Eddie Murphy's conniving ass even said this on Raw, which had the men booing lol). But I think both sexes have done things that are not real cool as far as sexual matters go especially if they know they have a STI and still use it on unknowing victims. I stress having a condom can help for safety reasons. I don't think you can't get one if you don't use it, that's not really a fact unless really proven.

stupid people just keep having sex without using the brain

JoeTyler said:

stupid people just keep having sex without using the brain

Pretty much.

Men are not cheaters

I guess the vast majority of men just need ONE hot & sexually hungry wife

the problem is, many men just don't have the possibility to marry a woman like that...

dJJ said:

JustErin said:

I can't blame men for wanting to basically screw everything in sight because it's biologically what is ingrained in them. Those urges are completely natural - whether we want to admit it or not.

Marriage was not traditionally about monogamy (when it came to the man) or even love. It was a property transaction and men married to ensure that their offspring were theirs and to eliminate competition. Their extramarital affairs were not only standard practice, they were actually not considered inappropriate by anyone.

It's only in very recent years that monogamy for both partners became the "ideal". So basically in order for it become an equal union, we decided to not allow women to have the same freedom that men traditionally have had, we decided put the same limitations on men that women had since pretty much day one.

It's a really nice idea...on paper, however, not very practical.

I do have an higher opinion of men. I think they are capable of being civilized and adjusted. They can behave more sophisticated than an animal who is lead by his instinct.

I think men are capable of making responsible decisions.

Or do you think they are at the same level of wild animals and therefore not responsible for their actions?

Do you agree with the adagium among Muslim men, that woman should cover themselves up, because it can't be expected from men to inhibit themselves if a woman shows her ankles, hair or anything of her skin for that matter?

I'm sorry DJJ, this last question is so ridiculous that I can't even answer it.

But as for the question about being responsible for their actions, of course I think everyone should be responsible for what they do. I never said that men shouldn't be. Every single person is capable of making responsible decisions. I am simply saying that I understand that basic biological urge and how some men struggle more with repressing it than others. And it is really fair to insist that it is fully repressed?

Humans are capable of being civilized and adjusted. We are more sophisticated than an animal who is just lead by his instinct. But there is no denying that we still are lead to a certain degree by instinct. I mean, there are definite instinctual behaviours that women have, and no one seems to have a problem with those - in fact, it is celebrated.

But men's natural instincts? Oh, they are more "civilized" and must rise above it, no questions asked.

I'm in no way excusing cheating, I think it's wrong. But in the culture we live in, I can definitely understand why it happens...and happens A LOT.

Oh, and my boyfriend completely disagrees with everything I say about this topic.

JustErin said:

Oh, and my boyfriend completely disagrees with everything I say about this topic.

Of course

I (have) know(n) a lot of women who cheat(ed). In general women also can cheat much more than most men. And most women do not carry any condoms. Ever.

Tremolina said:

JustErin said:

Oh, and my boyfriend completely disagrees with everything I say about this topic.

Of course

Yes, of course!

But I know better.

Lets face it, people get married to a person they have sexual feelings for.

They think those sexual feelings will last a life time.

They don't.

That does not mean that they stop caring about the person. The sex dwindles. The sex isn't very exciting at all. Here we have 2 fun people sometimes under 40 years old committed to monogamy for the rest of their life with a person they truly care about but who just doesn't do it for them anymore.

When cheating makes itself available, they take advantage of it.

Sorry, I blame no one.

I blame our expectations as a society on eachother.

I am a single 51 year old woman and men lie to me all the time.

"I am getting a divorce"

"We sleep in seperate beds"

"She is just a friend".

I carry condoms. period.

When free pussy is involved, men WILL lie.

A lot of people cheat, that I'll agree with.

That doesn't mean we should change our expectations, especially with skyrocketing STI rates.

It may be naive NOT to talk about it with your partner, but it's not naive to ask for and expect fidelity.

CarrieMpls said:

A lot of people cheat, that I'll agree with.

That doesn't mean we should change our expectations, especially with skyrocketing STI rates.

It may be naive NOT to talk about it with your partner, but it's not naive to ask for and expect fidelity.

I think that there are many men and women that still love the person that they are cheating on and that is something that we don't put together. Open relationships are taboo.

Yes we should have expectations. When a thirty year old man tells his 28 year old girlfriend that he wants no one else but her for the rest of his life, he means it.

When he is fifty and she is 48, well things aren't the same. He DOES still love her. We don't have a means to openly discuss this. There is no grey area. If he asks for an open marriage the answer is "no". "If I find out you are with another woman, I will leave you".

He doesn't want to end the marriage.

Many an "other woman" can tell you that it is not easy to get a man to leave his wife.

I think we as a society make cheating men and women out to be villians.

Nobody want to be a "villian" except Marilyn Manson.

So everyone has their secrets and the secrets make us sick, literally.

Deadflow3r said:

I carry condoms. period.

When free pussy is involved, men WILL lie.

You are SMART!!!!! Unfortunately, too many women just don't get that! A dude will tell you WHATEVER you want to hear to get the sex.

Deadflow3r said:

CarrieMpls said:

A lot of people cheat, that I'll agree with.

That doesn't mean we should change our expectations, especially with skyrocketing STI rates.

It may be naive NOT to talk about it with your partner, but it's not naive to ask for and expect fidelity.

I think that there are many men and women that still love the person that they are cheating on and that is something that we don't put together. Open relationships are taboo.

Yes we should have expectations. When a thirty year old man tells his 28 year old girlfriend that he wants no one else but her for the rest of his life, he means it.

When he is fifty and she is 48, well things aren't the same. He DOES still love her. We don't have a means to openly discuss this. There is no grey area. If he asks for an open marriage the answer is "no". "If I find out you are with another woman, I will leave you".

He doesn't want to end the marriage.

Many an "other woman" can tell you that it is not easy to get a man to leave his wife.

I think we as a society make cheating men and women out to be villians.

Nobody want to be a "villian" except Marilyn Manson.

So everyone has their secrets and the secrets make us sick, literally.

If you want an open marriage and ask for it and your partner doesn't then you either need to leave the marriage or abide by your partner's wishes. Why would you want to stay in a marriage where your needs aren't being met?

Cheaters ARE villians. I have no sympathy for someone who wants to have their cake and eat it too.

Is it human to make mistakes? Absolutely. We all make mistakes. But I won't pretend that it's OK to cheat on someone just because they have some kind of biological urge. That's ridiculous.

[Edited 2/19/13 10:48am]

CarrieMpls said:

Deadflow3r said:

I think that there are many men and women that still love the person that they are cheating on and that is something that we don't put together. Open relationships are taboo.

Yes we should have expectations. When a thirty year old man tells his 28 year old girlfriend that he wants no one else but her for the rest of his life, he means it.

When he is fifty and she is 48, well things aren't the same. He DOES still love her. We don't have a means to openly discuss this. There is no grey area. If he asks for an open marriage the answer is "no". "If I find out you are with another woman, I will leave you".

He doesn't want to end the marriage.

Many an "other woman" can tell you that it is not easy to get a man to leave his wife.

I think we as a society make cheating men and women out to be villians.

Nobody want to be a "villian" except Marilyn Manson.

So everyone has their secrets and the secrets make us sick, literally.

If you want an open marriage and ask for it and your partner doesn't then you either need to leave the marriage or abide by your partner's wishes. Why would you want to stay in a marriage where your needs aren't being met?

Cheaters ARE villians. I have no sympathy for someone who wants to have their cake and eat it too.

Is it human to make mistakes? Absolutely. We all make mistakes. But I won't pretend that it's OK to cheat on someone just because they have some kind of biological urge. That's ridiculous.

[Edited 2/19/13 10:48am]

Carrie they are not villians. I have sympathy for all involved. I how ever do not want to be the secret lover hidden under the bed.

There are often children involved not to mention equity.

Again, it is not my fault that a man's is married to a woman that does sexually interest him anylonger and I deserve a man I can walk down the street holding hands with as much as she does.

Most women don't want to sleep with married men.

Most married men know that so they lie to single women like myself.

Given that reality, most women who are having sex with a man they met recently should carry protection.

JustErin said:

dJJ said:

I do have an higher opinion of men. I think they are capable of being civilized and adjusted. They can behave more sophisticated than an animal who is lead by his instinct.

I think men are capable of making responsible decisions.

Or do you think they are at the same level of wild animals and therefore not responsible for their actions?

Do you agree with the adagium among Muslim men, that woman should cover themselves up, because it can't be expected from men to inhibit themselves if a woman shows her ankles, hair or anything of her skin for that matter?

I'm sorry DJJ, this last question is so ridiculous that I can't even answer it.

But as for the question about being responsible for their actions, of course I think everyone should be responsible for what they do. I never said that men shouldn't be. Every single person is capable of making responsible decisions. I am simply saying that I understand that basic biological urge and how some men struggle more with repressing it than others. And it is really fair to insist that it is fully repressed?

Humans are capable of being civilized and adjusted. We are more sophisticated than an animal who is just lead by his instinct. But there is no denying that we still are lead to a certain degree by instinct. I mean, there are definite instinctual behaviours that women have, and no one seems to have a problem with those - in fact, it is celebrated.

But men's natural instincts? Oh, they are more "civilized" and must rise above it, no questions asked.

I'm in no way excusing cheating, I think it's wrong. But in the culture we live in, I can definitely understand why it happens...and happens A LOT.

I understand that basic biological urge and how some men struggle more with repressing it than others. And it is really fair to insist that it is fully repressed?

No, I don't think it's good to repress an urge if that hurts other people. I do think it's good people get hurt when it is not repressed.

I think man have the capacity to know if they want to be monogomous or not. If they don't want to commit to one person, they should say so.

If they lie about it to their spouse, they knowingly hurt somebody who loves them. And even worse, they prevent their spouse to make decision for their own life by witholding information that is very important for them.

here are definite instinctual behaviours that women have, and no one seems to have a problem with those - in fact, it is celebrated.

What kind of behaviours are you reffering to?

And you find my question ridiculous. But you seem to reason in the similar way. Men can't help themselves, and therefore should be judged lightly. And because men can't help themselves, women should cover up.

CarrieMpls said:

Deadflow3r said:

I think that there are many men and women that still love the person that they are cheating on and that is something that we don't put together. Open relationships are taboo.

Yes we should have expectations. When a thirty year old man tells his 28 year old girlfriend that he wants no one else but her for the rest of his life, he means it.

When he is fifty and she is 48, well things aren't the same. He DOES still love her. We don't have a means to openly discuss this. There is no grey area. If he asks for an open marriage the answer is "no". "If I find out you are with another woman, I will leave you".

He doesn't want to end the marriage.

Many an "other woman" can tell you that it is not easy to get a man to leave his wife.

I think we as a society make cheating men and women out to be villians.

Nobody want to be a "villian" except Marilyn Manson.

So everyone has their secrets and the secrets make us sick, literally.

If you want an open marriage and ask for it and your partner doesn't then you either need to leave the marriage or abide by your partner's wishes. Why would you want to stay in a marriage where your needs aren't being met?

Cheaters ARE villians. I have no sympathy for someone who wants to have their cake and eat it too.

Is it human to make mistakes? Absolutely. We all make mistakes. But I won't pretend that it's OK to cheat on someone just because they have some kind of biological urge. That's ridiculous.

[Edited 2/19/13 10:48am]

I agree with everything you just said

There's a lot of interesting comments on this thread. Good stuff.

Personally i know a lot of people who cheat on their significant other(s). It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that cheating is RAMPANT amongst the men i know. Most of them are in long term relationships but its like once they get away from their significant other(s)for any length of time they act like they're single.

I'm most definitely no saint and i have cheated in a relationship(once). I found out she was cheating on me and instead of having the courage to leave the relationship or allow each of us to see other people, i cheated on her. After reflecting on the whole situation i came to the conclusion that no matter the reason, i shouldn't have done something to someone that i wouldn't want done to me. And i feel the same way about others who cheat.

Like i said. I know a lot of men who cheat but one situation in particular should be a lesson to all who think its ok to cheat or take people for granted.

I know this guy who was a serial cheater. Not too long ago this guy was messing around on his girl and almost got caught. He got reckless, careless and assumed he was too smart to get caught. Somehow word got back to his girl that he was cheating and shit hit the fan. There was a bunch of drama and the guy almost lost everything... And i mean, everything. Anyway, his girl didn't have definitive proof of his infidelity so she stayed with him.

Fast forward a couple years...

This guy developed some severe health problems and almost died. As a result of those health problems he's now become somewhat incapacitated. He needs assistance to do a lot of basic things. The guy does have kids and other family members to help with his recovery BUT the main person who takes on most of the burden and hardship of his recovery ? You guessed it... His wife.

The lesson i got out of that whole situation is... Don't take people's love, feelings or emotions for granted. The person you fuck over might just end up being the person you have to rely on to wipe your ass.

And as for his jump off. She got pregnant by some other dude and is no where to be found.

Peace.

[Edited 2/19/13 22:16pm]

JoeyC said:

There's a lot of interesting comments on this thread. Good stuff.

Personally i know a lot of people who cheat on their significant other(s). It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that cheating is RAMPANT amongst the men i know. Most of them are in long term relationships but its like once they get away from their significant other(s)for any length of time they act like they're single.

I'm most definitely no saint and i have cheated in a relationship(once). I found out she was cheating on me and instead of having the courage to leave the relationship or allow each of us to see other people, i cheated on her. After reflecting on the whole situation i came to the conclusion that no matter the reason, i shouldn't have done something to someone that i wouldn't want done to me. And i feel the same way about others who cheat.

Like i said. I know a lot of men who cheat but one situation in particular should be a lesson to all who think its ok to cheat or take people for granted.

I know this guy who was a serial cheater. Not too long ago this guy was messing around on his girl and almost got caught. He got reckless, careless and assumed he was too smart to get caught. Somehow word got back to his girl that he was cheating and shit hit the fan. There was a bunch of drama and the guy almost lost everything... And i mean, everything. Anyway, his girl didn't have definitive proof of his infidelity so she stayed with him.

Fast forward a couple years...

This guy developed some severe health problems and almost died. As a result of those health problems he's now become somewhat incapacitated. He needs assistance to do a lot of basic things. The guy does have kids and other family members to help with his recovery BUT the main person who takes on most of the burden and hardship of his recovery ? You guessed it... His wife.

The lesson i got out of that whole situation is... Don't take people's love, feelings or emotions for granted. The person you fuck over might just end up being the person you have to rely on to wipe your ass.

And as for his jump off. She got pregnant by some other dude and is no where to be found.

Peace.

[Edited 2/19/13 22:16pm]

This is what I keep trying to tell these dudes I care about. Be careful because what goes around comes around and the Piper must be paid. What you put out in the universe you will receive back. It's just the law of life that none of us can escape. These people who you are partying with and having a good time with probably won't be there for you when the chips are down. If you are lucky, the person you took for granted and deceived will more than likely be the one who's there for you when no one else will.

I don't know. I guess I really shouldn't care so much. But, I just hate it when relatively intelligent men go all stupid just for some sex.

[Edited 2/20/13 6:16am]