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Thread started 01/21/13 5:43pm

Cow

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Share Any Cow News Here

Hello humans. The Internet has been down in the barnyard due to the farmer not paying his Time Warner bill on time. Anyone heard any cow news or cow gossip or cow rumors?

Eat Mor Horses
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Reply #1 posted 01/21/13 5:49pm

aardvark15

Anderson Area Crimestoppers is offering a reward of $1,000 for information that will help lead to an arrest of any individual(s) responsible for the killing of a prized Watusi Cow on a farm located in Belton. The cow was shot in the abdomen and left to die on Christmas Eve. The cow’s breed is native to Africa and had horns that spanned 7 feet from tip to tip.

The incident occurred on Christmas Eve at Cherokee Farms located on West Road just outside of Belton City Limits. The reward is being offered in conjunction with a donation made to Crimestoppers. Crimestoppers ask that anyone with information in this incident to call 1-888-CRIMESC (274-6372) or online at www.andersonareacrimestoppers.com.

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Reply #2 posted 01/21/13 5:55pm

Cow

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aardvark15 said:

Anderson Area Crimestoppers is offering a reward of $1,000 for information that will help lead to an arrest of any individual(s) responsible for the killing of a prized Watusi Cow on a farm located in Belton. The cow was shot in the abdomen and left to die on Christmas Eve. The cow’s breed is native to Africa and had horns that spanned 7 feet from tip to tip.

The incident occurred on Christmas Eve at Cherokee Farms located on West Road just outside of Belton City Limits. The reward is being offered in conjunction with a donation made to Crimestoppers. Crimestoppers ask that anyone with information in this incident to call 1-888-CRIMESC (274-6372) or online at www.andersonareacrimestoppers.com.

That's really sad but at least they are offering a reward for the senseless slaughter.

Cows are peaceful by nature but stuff like this makes us cows want to gather some bulls together and go medieval on these dudes.

Eat Mor Horses
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Reply #3 posted 01/21/13 6:18pm

babynoz

There were no cows at the inauguration...go figure.

Prince, in you I found a kindred spirit...Rest In Paradise.
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Reply #4 posted 01/21/13 6:19pm

Rococo

this is ultra consparicy theory here.

but is it thought that the cows of earth and and people from neptune are joining the ORDER OF THE PEARLY MILK DROP or OTPMD also known as OPP. there plan is to take over earth and destory the morality of americans. there are signs all around us...popstars..got milk commercial, the lack of info on the people of neptune!

[Edited 1/21/13 18:20pm]

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Reply #5 posted 01/21/13 6:20pm

Rococo

being from neptune, i can get in trouble.

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Reply #6 posted 01/21/13 6:21pm

Cow

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babynoz said:

There were no cows at the inauguration...go figure.

I heard Katy Perry was milking her perfomance on Saturday.

OK, bad joke. I'm a bit rusty and I'm standing out here in 20 degree weather. Give me a break.

Eat Mor Horses
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Reply #7 posted 01/21/13 6:23pm

purplethunder3
121

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Dairy Farmer Has No Regrets About Doing It The Old-Fashioned Way

Hollywood’s latest starlet is gazing enigmatically into the camera lens with her huge melting brown eyes, framed with lashes long enough to catch snowflakes. She radiates an air of serenity amid the flashbulbs and satellite dishes and is the very epitome of poise – until an enormous rough pink tongue emerges from the side of her mouth and flicks into her nostril.

“This is Ration, she’s our Red Carpet Cow,” says her owner, East Sussex dairy farmer Steve Hook, as he massages her neck. “A handful of cow nuts and you can do anything you like with her.”

That pretty much makes her every director’s dream, but she won’t be accompanying him to Sundance Film Festival this weekend, where her screen debut – The Moo Man – has been chosen to compete in the prestigious World Cinema category.

The Moo Man is ostensibly a documentary about Longleys Farm, Hailsham, where Steve and his father, Phil, have turned around their loss-making dairy business by thumbing their noses at the supermarket big boys and marketing and selling their own raw, unpasteurised and organic milk.

But this fascinating, unsentimental yet tender film is much more than a classic David-and-Goliath clash of values; it is a moving portrait of the ancient relationship between a farmer and his animals, set against a backdrop of changing seasons, changing fortunes, birth, death and, of course, milk. Gallons and gallons of the white stuff.

Hook, 47, and his wife Claire have four sons aged 12 to 20. Not so long ago, the future of their inheritance looked decidedly bleak.

“We converted to organic milk in 2000 because back then there was a 10p premium on every litre,” says Hook. “As we use traditional methods on the farm already, it was a natural step. But then milk prices – organic and standard – fell away and we were being paid below the cost of production, which was completely untenable.”

For five years Hook struggled to stay afloat, relying on family tax credits to meet his bills. Then he took the risky decision to cut himself adrift and sell his milk, cream and butter direct to the public. Moreover, his USP would be that the milk was raw and unpasteurised, something that’s not available through large retailers as, for legal reasons, it can only be sold by the farm that produces it.

“Raw milk is an entirely different product from the homogenised stuff you buy,” says Hook. “It’s full of health-giving properties that make it more valuable, and people are willing to pay more.”

An ordinary pint of milk costs from 25p to 45p. A pint of Hook’s finest fetches anything from £1 to £2; much of it is sold via the internet and dispatched, by courier, in insulated boxes to addresses across the country.

In February 2010, Hook was sending out 700 pints of Hook & Son a week. By 2013, that figure has risen to 3,500 pints, enabling him to employ six full-time and eight part-time staff, and reinvest in the farm.

Unpasteurised milk is creamier and has a more distinctive, “milky” taste than the pasteurised version, but there are other reasons for its resurgence.

“Raw milk lowers 'bad’ cholesterol and can be drunk by people who are lactose-intolerant because it contains active enzymes,” says Hook. “There is also evidence it effectively treats asthma, hay fever and eczema.”

It was this health dimension that drew local documentary makers Andy Heathcote and Heike Bachelier to the farm. They had been ordering the milk from their delivery man and were so astonished when it successfully treated their eczema that they were keen to know more.

“Something else we found funny and intriguing were the little anecdotes and pictures of cows featured on the milk bottles and on the website,” says German-born Bachelier. “I had never thought about the process by which milk gets from the animal to me and I initially thought it was odd to claim cows had their own personalities and idiosyncrasies.”

She was rapidly disabused of the notion that all cows are identical, not least by the film’s leading lady, Ida, aged 12, who steals the show.

The average lifespan of a dairy cow is six years, but Hook’s cows live at least 10 years, a testament to high welfare standards and the fact they aren’t stressed by overmilking.

As befits a grande dame of any species, Ida comes across as bold, opinionated and happiest when centre-stage. There is footage of Steve taking her to the beach at Eastbourne to drum up publicity, only to discover she likes it so much she refuses to leave. Little wonder, then, that her story arc rivals that of Anna Karenina.

And so what began as a fly-on-the-milking-parlour-partition look at Hook’s business – of 10,000 dairy farmers in Britain, only 100 or so sell raw, unpasteurised milk – became a rather more reflective, even spiritual, examination of the dynamic between man and beast.

There’s Clever Kate, a born escapologist able to find a hole in even the best-maintained of fences. Jill is prone to get a bit antsy and kick out; Rowena is highly prized for her superior butterfat milk; and Kitty is loved no less for her friendly nature.

For to call the bond Steve has with all 70 of his pedigree Holstein Friesians love is no exaggeration. Far from it.

I love my animals,” he says simply. “I rear them from calves, I watch them thrive and grow. I milk them, watch over them and I respect them.

“Cows have a great dignity about them; they’re noble and graceful and very expressive. They will shake their heads if they’re fed up with you or push their foreheads into you, nudging you to do more of what you’re doing.”

To her credit, Ration – nobody can recall why she’s called that – is still obligingly showing off her best side out front. She is heavily pregnant, which bodes well for the future herd.

But back in a pen behind the barn, where the animals are wintered, a lone cow stands over a lifeless calf, endlessly licking its cold body. The calf died in utero and was “born” earlier in the day – hauled out of its mother with a rope by Hook. He has left her the body so she can come to terms with the loss; she licks and licks, trying to stir her offspring, refusing to eat or to drink. No-one could doubt that she is grieving.

Meanwhile, the cycle of nature continues around her; fat hens scratch in the silage, the farm cat slinks by, the twice daily ritual of milking begins.

In a few days, Steve Hook and his father will be at Sundance, where their quietly profound story will vie for attention among performances by Hollywood A-listers such as Ashton Kutcher and Scarlett Johansson.

The farmers been invited to brunch with festival founder Robert Redford. It’s a fair bet they will raise a toast to The Moo Man. Let’s hope it is with a glass of raw, unpasteurised milk.


"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
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Reply #8 posted 01/21/13 6:23pm

Cow

avatar

Rococo said:

this is ultra consparicy theory here.

but is it thought that the cows of earth and and people from neptune are joining the ORDER OF THE PEARLY MILK DROP or OTPMD also known as OPP. there plan is to take over earth and destory the morality of americans. there are signs all around us...popstars..got milk commercial, the lack of info on the people of neptune!

[Edited 1/21/13 18:20pm]

Shhhhhh...you've said too much. One they start looking into the Kardashian's finances the whole plan is shot.

Eat Mor Horses
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Reply #9 posted 01/21/13 6:24pm

babynoz

Cow said:

babynoz said:

There were no cows at the inauguration...go figure.

I heard Katy Perry was milking her perfomance on Saturday.

OK, bad joke. I'm a bit rusty and I'm standing out here in 20 degree weather. Give me a break.

comfort

Prince, in you I found a kindred spirit...Rest In Paradise.
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Reply #10 posted 01/21/13 6:27pm

Cow

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purplethunder3121 said:

Dairy Farmer Has No Regrets About Doing It The Old-Fashioned Way

Hollywood’s latest starlet is gazing enigmatically into the camera lens with her huge melting brown eyes, framed with lashes long enough to catch snowflakes. She radiates an air of serenity amid the flashbulbs and satellite dishes and is the very epitome of poise – until an enormous rough pink tongue emerges from the side of her mouth and flicks into her nostril.

“This is Ration, she’s our Red Carpet Cow,” says her owner, East Sussex dairy farmer Steve Hook, as he massages her neck. “A handful of cow nuts and you can do anything you like with her.”

That pretty much makes her every director’s dream, but she won’t be accompanying him to Sundance Film Festival this weekend, where her screen debut – The Moo Man – has been chosen to compete in the prestigious World Cinema category.

The Moo Man is ostensibly a documentary about Longleys Farm, Hailsham, where Steve and his father, Phil, have turned around their loss-making dairy business by thumbing their noses at the supermarket big boys and marketing and selling their own raw, unpasteurised and organic milk.

But this fascinating, unsentimental yet tender film is much more than a classic David-and-Goliath clash of values; it is a moving portrait of the ancient relationship between a farmer and his animals, set against a backdrop of changing seasons, changing fortunes, birth, death and, of course, milk. Gallons and gallons of the white stuff.

Hook, 47, and his wife Claire have four sons aged 12 to 20. Not so long ago, the future of their inheritance looked decidedly bleak.

“We converted to organic milk in 2000 because back then there was a 10p premium on every litre,” says Hook. “As we use traditional methods on the farm already, it was a natural step. But then milk prices – organic and standard – fell away and we were being paid below the cost of production, which was completely untenable.”

For five years Hook struggled to stay afloat, relying on family tax credits to meet his bills. Then he took the risky decision to cut himself adrift and sell his milk, cream and butter direct to the public. Moreover, his USP would be that the milk was raw and unpasteurised, something that’s not available through large retailers as, for legal reasons, it can only be sold by the farm that produces it.

“Raw milk is an entirely different product from the homogenised stuff you buy,” says Hook. “It’s full of health-giving properties that make it more valuable, and people are willing to pay more.”

An ordinary pint of milk costs from 25p to 45p. A pint of Hook’s finest fetches anything from £1 to £2; much of it is sold via the internet and dispatched, by courier, in insulated boxes to addresses across the country.

In February 2010, Hook was sending out 700 pints of Hook & Son a week. By 2013, that figure has risen to 3,500 pints, enabling him to employ six full-time and eight part-time staff, and reinvest in the farm.

Unpasteurised milk is creamier and has a more distinctive, “milky” taste than the pasteurised version, but there are other reasons for its resurgence.

“Raw milk lowers 'bad’ cholesterol and can be drunk by people who are lactose-intolerant because it contains active enzymes,” says Hook. “There is also evidence it effectively treats asthma, hay fever and eczema.”

It was this health dimension that drew local documentary makers Andy Heathcote and Heike Bachelier to the farm. They had been ordering the milk from their delivery man and were so astonished when it successfully treated their eczema that they were keen to know more.

“Something else we found funny and intriguing were the little anecdotes and pictures of cows featured on the milk bottles and on the website,” says German-born Bachelier. “I had never thought about the process by which milk gets from the animal to me and I initially thought it was odd to claim cows had their own personalities and idiosyncrasies.”

She was rapidly disabused of the notion that all cows are identical, not least by the film’s leading lady, Ida, aged 12, who steals the show.

The average lifespan of a dairy cow is six years, but Hook’s cows live at least 10 years, a testament to high welfare standards and the fact they aren’t stressed by overmilking.

As befits a grande dame of any species, Ida comes across as bold, opinionated and happiest when centre-stage. There is footage of Steve taking her to the beach at Eastbourne to drum up publicity, only to discover she likes it so much she refuses to leave. Little wonder, then, that her story arc rivals that of Anna Karenina.

And so what began as a fly-on-the-milking-parlour-partition look at Hook’s business – of 10,000 dairy farmers in Britain, only 100 or so sell raw, unpasteurised milk – became a rather more reflective, even spiritual, examination of the dynamic between man and beast.

There’s Clever Kate, a born escapologist able to find a hole in even the best-maintained of fences. Jill is prone to get a bit antsy and kick out; Rowena is highly prized for her superior butterfat milk; and Kitty is loved no less for her friendly nature.

For to call the bond Steve has with all 70 of his pedigree Holstein Friesians love is no exaggeration. Far from it.

I love my animals,” he says simply. “I rear them from calves, I watch them thrive and grow. I milk them, watch over them and I respect them.

“Cows have a great dignity about them; they’re noble and graceful and very expressive. They will shake their heads if they’re fed up with you or push their foreheads into you, nudging you to do more of what you’re doing.”

To her credit, Ration – nobody can recall why she’s called that – is still obligingly showing off her best side out front. She is heavily pregnant, which bodes well for the future herd.

But back in a pen behind the barn, where the animals are wintered, a lone cow stands over a lifeless calf, endlessly licking its cold body. The calf died in utero and was “born” earlier in the day – hauled out of its mother with a rope by Hook. He has left her the body so she can come to terms with the loss; she licks and licks, trying to stir her offspring, refusing to eat or to drink. No-one could doubt that she is grieving.

Meanwhile, the cycle of nature continues around her; fat hens scratch in the silage, the farm cat slinks by, the twice daily ritual of milking begins.

In a few days, Steve Hook and his father will be at Sundance, where their quietly profound story will vie for attention among performances by Hollywood A-listers such as Ashton Kutcher and Scarlett Johansson.

The farmers been invited to brunch with festival founder Robert Redford. It’s a fair bet they will raise a toast to The Moo Man. Let’s hope it is with a glass of raw, unpasteurised milk.


Milk is better raw! If it's good enough for calves, it's good enough for y'all. Hope this movie wins best pciture next year.

Eat Mor Horses
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Reply #11 posted 01/21/13 9:05pm

LadyCasanova

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I had really really amazing steak for dinner tonight!!

"Aren't you even curious? Don't you want to see the dragon behind the door?"
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Reply #12 posted 01/21/13 9:47pm

Rococo

LadyCasanova said:

I had really really amazing steak for dinner tonight!!

meat is murder lol

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Reply #13 posted 01/21/13 9:49pm

LadyCasanova

avatar

Rococo said:

LadyCasanova said:

I had really really amazing steak for dinner tonight!!

meat is murder lol

mmm, murder...tasty tasty murder cow

"Aren't you even curious? Don't you want to see the dragon behind the door?"
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Reply #14 posted 01/21/13 10:11pm

nastyarse

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neutral

[Edited 1/21/13 22:11pm]

dancing jig Hey, it's time to jam! Nastyarse, dance, dance, dance!!! dancing jig sperm flag
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Reply #15 posted 01/22/13 2:57am

AnckSuNamun

avatar

Aww, Cow hug

rose looking for you in the woods tonight rose Switch FC SW-2874-2863-4789 (Rum&Coke)
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Reply #16 posted 01/22/13 3:43am

XxAxX

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Boston Cow Paths

In the 1930s and 1940s, folklore abounded that the windy streets of Boston were originally determined by cows wandering aimlessly about the town. The old postcard below muses, "In Boston town, of old renown, the gentle cows the pathways made, which grew the streets that keep the stranger quite dismayed."

Analyzing this assertion, it is most likely that topography and a lack of urban planning were the main reasons why Boston's streets were laid out so randomly. Boston was a small village, originally modeled after hamlets in Lincolnshire, England. The town was borne on a peninsula located in the combined delta of the Charles, Mystic, and Chelsea Rivers. Boston Proper had several hills, with Beacon, Copp's and Fort Hills being the most prominent.

Looking at the original peninsula, one can infer the streets were laid out for the following reasons:

Cow Paths In Boston
A Boston Bull

Forests. Boston was a wilderness. The peninsula undoubtedly had deer paths and Native American trails all over it. Deer paths general traverse hills from bedding areas to feeding and watering places (Spring Lane was likely a popular watering hole).

Topography. The town was very hilly, with many run-off brooks that were dry in summer. It is likely that some of the original streets from Tremont Street to the waterfront followed such brooks. Hanover, State, and Summer Streets are likely examples.

Natural Obstacles. Some areas of the ancient town could only be accessed via hasty dirt abutments built across marshes. Streets were laid out to avoid such bogs and obstacles. An example is Post Office Square, which was probably a low-lying area 300 years ago.

Native American, Pirate, or French Attacks. Pockets of narrow streets were much easier to defend than broad avenues. Many of the original wooden buildings had an overhanging 2nd story, which allowed the street-level windows to be boarded up very quickly.

Commerce. Boston was a bustling seaport for more than 200 years. Tidal flats were hastily filled-in to meet the needs of the shipping industry. The Beach Street are to the south once contained wharves (the Boston Tea Party took place at Griffin's Wharf, off Atlantic Avenue at Pearl Street). Street patterns were often "unscientific" when areas were filled-in. Mill Cove near North Station was filled-in to support the shipping industry, with warehouses constructed along Portland, Friend, and Canal Streets. Mayor Josiah Quincy had originally reclaimed the land at the foot of Long Wharf to build Quincy Market. Several other land additions in that area led to buildings such as Mercantile Wharf being constructed, which is today land-locked at a strange angle relative to the new Greenway.

Land Speculation. By the early 1800s, the Merchant Princes of Boston deliberately took down Beacon Hill and developed the Back Bay District. Beautiful and expensive brownstone residences were built there, in a pre-planned grid of streets.

Thus, one can deduce that cows did not lay out the streets in ancient Boston, although they like roamed freely in the early days to pasture on Boston Common. The only hint of truth in such folklore is that High Street was once known as Cow Lane.

But when you are stuck in traffic in downtown Boston, or cannot get to your destination due to a one-way street, that may be a good time to blame those cows for the narrow and windy streets!

http://www.celebratebosto...-paths.htm

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Reply #17 posted 01/22/13 8:03am

RodeoSchro

My daughter will be competing in a Calf Scramble in a couple months. What advice can you, as a cow, give about catching a calf and then leading it into the holding area via rope?

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Reply #18 posted 01/22/13 9:28am

PurpleJedi

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Are there are truths to the rumors that the Snuffaluffagus had a lovechild with one of your brethren?

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #19 posted 01/22/13 9:40am

KingBAD

McDonalds Expands into Siberia

sibiria has a McDonalds now...

i'm sure they don't have enough cows to supply meat

so the good news for cow is, they'll prolly serve more horse and goat meat.

still, if you decide on world travel, stick to india, where they love you for what you are... ALIVE!!!

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #20 posted 01/22/13 9:45am

purplethunder3
121

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Cow Attack Survival Guide: How to Steer Clear of an Angry Bovine

While the world worries about being eaten alive by sharks, statistics show that far more Americans are killed each year by a more menacing animal: the cow. Don't let yourself become a statistic: We talk to experts on livestock and farm-related fatalities, who explain what to do to avoid the unpleasant company of a grumpy mooing beast.

By Gulnaz Saiyed

law_keven/Flickr

Scary movies and TV specials may focus on the most frightening-looking predators (Shark Week, anyone?), but that fearmongering is misdirected. The next time you're nervously scanning the surface of the sea for a dorsal fin, remember one thing: Statistically speaking, you are much more likely to be killed by a cow than a shark.

Between 2003 and 2008, 108 people died from cattle-induced injuries across the United States, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. That's 27 times the whopping four people killed in shark attacks in the United States during the same time period, according to the International Shark Attack File. Nearly all those cow-related fatalities were caused by blunt force trauma to the head or chest; a third of the victims were working in enclosed spaces with cattle.

While the ongoing battle between cow and man is overwhelmingly one-sided (and delicious), the people who work closely with cattle take major risks. "I've been kicked, I've been pushed, I've been charged," says 22-year-old Margaret Dunn, a graduate research assistant studying animal science at Iowa State University. "Like what they say about dogs, they can smell fear." Once, while she was attempting to inoculate a newborn calf as its mother stood nearby, another cow came out of nowhere and knocked her over. Dunn has survived these assaults, and they have not dissuaded her from planning to acquire her own dairy cows someday. The dangers of a farm are just "an occupational hazard," she says.

Close encounters of the bovine kind are not the most lethal aspect of the agriculture industry: That title might go to tractor accidents, which kill about 120 people each year, according to Wayne Sanderson, who conducted the CDC report on cattle-related fatalities. (Sanderson, a professor in the epidemiology department at the University of Kentucky, says farm safety does not fall under the jurisdiction of OSHA and is therefore largely unchecked.) Nevertheless, he says, just as the right equipment and careful driving can keep a tractor from flipping, the right precautions can keep cattle from charging:

If you have a cow or bull that you know to be prone to violent outbursts, Sanderson says, get rid of it. Have a nice steak dinner. Invite your friends.

Speaking of friends: The buddy system can be lifesaving when you're in close proximity to large animals, whether you're a rookie or a veteran at dealing with cattle. In fact, the majority of deaths in the CDC study involved older men who had worked with the animals for years. Farms stay within a family less frequently these days, so fewer sons are replacing their fathers, Sanderson says, and more farmers in their 60s and 70s must deal with the animals alone. "They used to be able to get out of the way," he says, but that's no longer always the case.

Though Dunn was an Ivy League undergrad who didn't grow up on a farm, she has become wise about familiarity with cattle: "Trust them and get used to how they work, but don't trust them so much that you turn your back on them."

Avoid getting into a confined space with cows. Sanderson says he knows of people killed when cows smashed them against the sides of gates, fences and barns.

If you do find yourself staring down an angry cow, Dunn says the solution is simple, in theory: Get away from the animal as fast as possible with any means necessary. "Don't be afraid to kick, yell, punch, whatever," she says. Although it's important to consider the welfare of animals, your life could be at risk, and Dunn points out that it's unlikely she or anyone else could kick or punch hard enough to hurt a 1,400-pound cow.

If you're not in immediate danger, but a cow or bull is making you nervous by pawing or snorting, there are steps you can take to keep the animal from charging. "Get something between you and her," Dunn says, suggesting nearby "trees, feed bunk, or other cows as long as they're chill."

A calf might be cute, but Sanderson reminds us that its threatened, angry, protective and charging-at-you mama is not. "The golden rule for mama cows is that as soon as she calves, she's a whole different cow," Dunn says.

Remember, you are in charge. You need to know you're in control for the cows to know you're in control, Dunn says. "In general, they respect that."

Carry a broom. "Not necessarily to smack the cows," Dunn says, "but to make yourself look taller."

Be careful what you carry. The CDC study includes the story of a 38-year-old Nebraska farmer who had a syringe full of Micotil, a bovine antibiotic, in his pocket when a cow knocked him down. The medicine was accidentally injected into his body and killed him.

Drive slowly on rural roads, because farm animals sometimes escape their fences. A speeding car plus a massive critter does not equal a pretty picture. There isn't much data on how often these collisions are fatal, but they are often enough that Sanderson is researching them to determine the frequency.

Finally, when you are in proximity to the large, vacant-eyed, masticating critters, try not to forget Dunn's simple message: "They are animals with minds of their own."


"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
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Reply #21 posted 01/22/13 10:31am

Cow

avatar

LadyCasanova said:

Rococo said:

meat is murder lol

mmm, murder...tasty tasty murder cow

That was my Aunt Betty you just ate. Sure she was always deleting stuff from my DVR and was inviting me to join in on Facebook games that I have no interest in but that doesn't mean she deserved to die.

Eat Mor Horses
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Reply #22 posted 01/22/13 10:34am

Cow

avatar

XxAxX said:

Boston Cow Paths

In the 1930s and 1940s, folklore abounded that the windy streets of Boston were originally determined by cows wandering aimlessly about the town. The old postcard below muses, "In Boston town, of old renown, the gentle cows the pathways made, which grew the streets that keep the stranger quite dismayed."

Analyzing this assertion, it is most likely that topography and a lack of urban planning were the main reasons why Boston's streets were laid out so randomly. Boston was a small village, originally modeled after hamlets in Lincolnshire, England. The town was borne on a peninsula located in the combined delta of the Charles, Mystic, and Chelsea Rivers. Boston Proper had several hills, with Beacon, Copp's and Fort Hills being the most prominent.

Looking at the original peninsula, one can infer the streets were laid out for the following reasons:

Cow Paths In Boston
A Boston Bull

Forests. Boston was a wilderness. The peninsula undoubtedly had deer paths and Native American trails all over it. Deer paths general traverse hills from bedding areas to feeding and watering places (Spring Lane was likely a popular watering hole).

Topography. The town was very hilly, with many run-off brooks that were dry in summer. It is likely that some of the original streets from Tremont Street to the waterfront followed such brooks. Hanover, State, and Summer Streets are likely examples.

Natural Obstacles. Some areas of the ancient town could only be accessed via hasty dirt abutments built across marshes. Streets were laid out to avoid such bogs and obstacles. An example is Post Office Square, which was probably a low-lying area 300 years ago.

Native American, Pirate, or French Attacks. Pockets of narrow streets were much easier to defend than broad avenues. Many of the original wooden buildings had an overhanging 2nd story, which allowed the street-level windows to be boarded up very quickly.

Commerce. Boston was a bustling seaport for more than 200 years. Tidal flats were hastily filled-in to meet the needs of the shipping industry. The Beach Street are to the south once contained wharves (the Boston Tea Party took place at Griffin's Wharf, off Atlantic Avenue at Pearl Street). Street patterns were often "unscientific" when areas were filled-in. Mill Cove near North Station was filled-in to support the shipping industry, with warehouses constructed along Portland, Friend, and Canal Streets. Mayor Josiah Quincy had originally reclaimed the land at the foot of Long Wharf to build Quincy Market. Several other land additions in that area led to buildings such as Mercantile Wharf being constructed, which is today land-locked at a strange angle relative to the new Greenway.

Land Speculation. By the early 1800s, the Merchant Princes of Boston deliberately took down Beacon Hill and developed the Back Bay District. Beautiful and expensive brownstone residences were built there, in a pre-planned grid of streets.

Thus, one can deduce that cows did not lay out the streets in ancient Boston, although they like roamed freely in the early days to pasture on Boston Common. The only hint of truth in such folklore is that High Street was once known as Cow Lane.

But when you are stuck in traffic in downtown Boston, or cannot get to your destination due to a one-way street, that may be a good time to blame those cows for the narrow and windy streets!

http://www.celebratebosto...-paths.htm

Well, we don't really wander "aimlessly". We knew what we were doing in Boston, we had the vision. None of us knew that Bill Belichick was going to be such a prick though.

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Reply #23 posted 01/22/13 10:36am

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RodeoSchro said:

My daughter will be competing in a Calf Scramble in a couple months. What advice can you, as a cow, give about catching a calf and then leading it into the holding area via rope?


Cows are virtuous creatures but we have financial needs too. Slip the calf a $20 and he'll pretty much go wherever you want.

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Reply #24 posted 01/22/13 10:38am

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PurpleJedi said:

Are there are truths to the rumors that the Snuffaluffagus had a lovechild with one of your brethren?

Actually, it looks more like Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Not that I'm speculating...

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Reply #25 posted 01/22/13 10:40am

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KingBAD said:

McDonalds Expands into Siberia

sibiria has a McDonalds now...

i'm sure they don't have enough cows to supply meat

so the good news for cow is, they'll prolly serve more horse and goat meat.

still, if you decide on world travel, stick to india, where they love you for what you are... ALIVE!!!

I like India. Can just walk right into the store and we're like "What are you going to do about it?" Such nice people in India, and so well-grounded in the belief of the importance of cows. Meanwhile horses are responsible for wars, disease, and shows getting greenlighted on the E network. Eat up Siberia!

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Reply #26 posted 01/22/13 10:44am

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purplethunder3121 said:

Cow Attack Survival Guide: How to Steer Clear of an Angry Bovine

While the world worries about being eaten alive by sharks, statistics show that far more Americans are killed each year by a more menacing animal: the cow. Don't let yourself become a statistic: We talk to experts on livestock and farm-related fatalities, who explain what to do to avoid the unpleasant company of a grumpy mooing beast.

By Gulnaz Saiyed

law_keven/Flickr

Scary movies and TV specials may focus on the most frightening-looking predators (Shark Week, anyone?), but that fearmongering is misdirected. The next time you're nervously scanning the surface of the sea for a dorsal fin, remember one thing: Statistically speaking, you are much more likely to be killed by a cow than a shark.

Between 2003 and 2008, 108 people died from cattle-induced injuries across the United States, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. That's 27 times the whopping four people killed in shark attacks in the United States during the same time period, according to the International Shark Attack File. Nearly all those cow-related fatalities were caused by blunt force trauma to the head or chest; a third of the victims were working in enclosed spaces with cattle.

While the ongoing battle between cow and man is overwhelmingly one-sided (and delicious), the people who work closely with cattle take major risks. "I've been kicked, I've been pushed, I've been charged," says 22-year-old Margaret Dunn, a graduate research assistant studying animal science at Iowa State University. "Like what they say about dogs, they can smell fear." Once, while she was attempting to inoculate a newborn calf as its mother stood nearby, another cow came out of nowhere and knocked her over. Dunn has survived these assaults, and they have not dissuaded her from planning to acquire her own dairy cows someday. The dangers of a farm are just "an occupational hazard," she says.

Close encounters of the bovine kind are not the most lethal aspect of the agriculture industry: That title might go to tractor accidents, which kill about 120 people each year, according to Wayne Sanderson, who conducted the CDC report on cattle-related fatalities. (Sanderson, a professor in the epidemiology department at the University of Kentucky, says farm safety does not fall under the jurisdiction of OSHA and is therefore largely unchecked.) Nevertheless, he says, just as the right equipment and careful driving can keep a tractor from flipping, the right precautions can keep cattle from charging:

If you have a cow or bull that you know to be prone to violent outbursts, Sanderson says, get rid of it. Have a nice steak dinner. Invite your friends.

Speaking of friends: The buddy system can be lifesaving when you're in close proximity to large animals, whether you're a rookie or a veteran at dealing with cattle. In fact, the majority of deaths in the CDC study involved older men who had worked with the animals for years. Farms stay within a family less frequently these days, so fewer sons are replacing their fathers, Sanderson says, and more farmers in their 60s and 70s must deal with the animals alone. "They used to be able to get out of the way," he says, but that's no longer always the case.

Though Dunn was an Ivy League undergrad who didn't grow up on a farm, she has become wise about familiarity with cattle: "Trust them and get used to how they work, but don't trust them so much that you turn your back on them."

Avoid getting into a confined space with cows. Sanderson says he knows of people killed when cows smashed them against the sides of gates, fences and barns.

If you do find yourself staring down an angry cow, Dunn says the solution is simple, in theory: Get away from the animal as fast as possible with any means necessary. "Don't be afraid to kick, yell, punch, whatever," she says. Although it's important to consider the welfare of animals, your life could be at risk, and Dunn points out that it's unlikely she or anyone else could kick or punch hard enough to hurt a 1,400-pound cow.

If you're not in immediate danger, but a cow or bull is making you nervous by pawing or snorting, there are steps you can take to keep the animal from charging. "Get something between you and her," Dunn says, suggesting nearby "trees, feed bunk, or other cows as long as they're chill."

A calf might be cute, but Sanderson reminds us that its threatened, angry, protective and charging-at-you mama is not. "The golden rule for mama cows is that as soon as she calves, she's a whole different cow," Dunn says.

Remember, you are in charge. You need to know you're in control for the cows to know you're in control, Dunn says. "In general, they respect that."

Carry a broom. "Not necessarily to smack the cows," Dunn says, "but to make yourself look taller."

Be careful what you carry. The CDC study includes the story of a 38-year-old Nebraska farmer who had a syringe full of Micotil, a bovine antibiotic, in his pocket when a cow knocked him down. The medicine was accidentally injected into his body and killed him.

Drive slowly on rural roads, because farm animals sometimes escape their fences. A speeding car plus a massive critter does not equal a pretty picture. There isn't much data on how often these collisions are fatal, but they are often enough that Sanderson is researching them to determine the frequency.

Finally, when you are in proximity to the large, vacant-eyed, masticating critters, try not to forget Dunn's simple message: "They are animals with minds of their own."


We weigh half a ton okay. Give us some space, get out of our way if you see a whole bunch of us looking pissed off and headed in your direction, and you'll be fine.

I laughed a little bit at that "You are in charge" business. You're in control because we have no thumbs and can't milk ourselves. Once we figure that whole thing out, it's on.

But I love you Org. MOST of y'all will be okay.

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Reply #27 posted 01/24/13 7:02am

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Check out this great article on cow poo. We're awesome!

http://www.nydailynews.co...-1.1245260

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Reply #28 posted 03/07/13 10:49am

imago

Swear to god, I heard this cow mooing a few days ago.

I live on the 13th floor of my building so they mooing had to ahve been loud.

I finally went down to look for it. As I approached the mooing, having walked

a couple of blooks away from my building, the mooing got intensively louder

until....suddenly it stopped.

Perplexed, I walked back towards my place when the mooing started back

up again.

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Reply #29 posted 03/07/13 10:56am

RodeoSchro

My daughter was in the Calf Scramble at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo last night but alas, she did not catch a calf.

It was still great fun, though!

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