Since three weeks or so, I've been sort of dating again.

Guy who asked me out after I was in his shop, seemed nice.

We went to a flee market and saw a mover together. We got on very well, in a very natural way.

So, we agreed to see eachother soon again.

I've asked some friends if they know him, in Amsterdam everybody knows everybody, one of the perks of living in a small town

So, I got some bad news. A very good friend, who is a very good friend because he is not judgemental and we share many values, responded that he didn't hear good stories about this guy and to ask a mutual friend about him.

I did, however, she didn't respond yet.

And now I'm confused.

I liked him. But also had some reservations, shallow ones, though. He's old (42), not pretty, to much hippie for me. First I thought nobody is perfect and I wanted to keep an open mind. However, now that I heard somebody I respect had beef with him, I'm not so sure anymore.

I'm avoiding him now, because I just don't know what to do.

So, how do you deal with the advice or opinions of your friends?

I'm completely ignoring everything ELSE you said and want to focus on the fact that you think that I'm "old" (because I too am 42 years old).

PurpleJedi said:

I'm completely ignoring everything ELSE you said and want to focus on the fact that you think that I'm "old" (because I too am 42 years old).

Me Too

If you are <30 then 42 is "old" for you and you should date younger unless he was exceptional... but if a male friend tells you he is no good, then I would trust it.

If the male friend you have is an ex-boyfriend then I would take what he says with a grain of salt, particulary if it was a messy break-up. Sour grapes and all.

If a female friend is in a "good" place, then I would trust her opinion on the matter completely, if she was depressed then I would take what she says with a grain of salt.

So in this situation, you should wait on the friend to give you a second opinion, if she says he is a nuttter, then run. If she says he's cool... then proceed with caution and look for red-flags.

[Edited 12/5/12 8:06am]

paintedlady said:

If you are >30 then 42 is "old" for you and you should date younger unless he was exceptional... but if a male friend tells you he is no good, then I would trust it.

If the male friend you have is an ex-boyfriend then I would take what he says with a grain of salt, particulary if it was a messy break-up. Sour grapes and all.

If a female friend is in a "good" place, then I would trust her opinion on the matter completely, if she was depressed then I would take what she says with a grain of salt.

So in this situation, you should wait on the friend to give you a second opinion, if she says he is a nuttter, then run. If she says he's cool... then proceed with caution and look for red-flags.

You meant to type <30 (as in LESS THAN 30) right?

Which in itself is a conundrum, since 40-something guys are going through midlife crisis issues and are inexplicably attracted to twenty-somethings.

Allegedly.

I've been told.

PurpleJedi said:

paintedlady said:

If you are >30 then 42 is "old" for you and you should date younger unless he was exceptional... but if a male friend tells you he is no good, then I would trust it.

If the male friend you have is an ex-boyfriend then I would take what he says with a grain of salt, particulary if it was a messy break-up. Sour grapes and all.

If a female friend is in a "good" place, then I would trust her opinion on the matter completely, if she was depressed then I would take what she says with a grain of salt.

So in this situation, you should wait on the friend to give you a second opinion, if she says he is a nuttter, then run. If she says he's cool... then proceed with caution and look for red-flags.

You meant to type <30 (as in LESS THAN 30) right?

Which in itself is a conundrum, since 40-something guys are going through midlife crisis issues and are inexplicably attracted to twenty-somethings.

Allegedly.

I've been told.

Yes...

thank you sir.

paintedlady said:

PurpleJedi said:

You meant to type <30 (as in LESS THAN 30) right?

Which in itself is a conundrum, since 40-something guys are going through midlife crisis issues and are inexplicably attracted to twenty-somethings.

Allegedly.

I've been told.

Yes...

thank you sir.

paintedlady said:

If you are >30 then 42 is "old" for you and you should date younger unless he was exceptional... but if a male friend tells you he is no good, then I would trust it.

If the male friend you have is an ex-boyfriend then I would take what he says with a grain of salt, particulary if it was a messy break-up. Sour grapes and all.

If a female friend is in a "good" place, then I would trust her opinion on the matter completely, if she was depressed then I would take what she says with a grain of salt.

So in this situation, you should wait on the friend to give you a second opinion, if she says he is a nuttter, then run. If she says he's cool... then proceed with caution and look for red-flags.

Thank you. You are the best adviser on the board!

I'm 38, so I guess I should not be so harsh on 'older' guys. It's just that younger guys flirt with me a lot, and I sort of like young. Sorry, guys, did not want to hurt your feelings.

Male friend is not my ex and actually celebrating his 21st marriage anniverary this week. He's a very good friend, sort of older brother/little sister relationship. He's 55. So, I don't discriminate on age in friendships

And yes, female friend is at a good place at the moment. Exactly that is what worries me. She didn't respond yet, and wait for her story.

But I've found out that it's wise to listen to the advice of good and true friends. So, I think I'm going to cancel this guy.

PurpleJedi said:

I'm completely ignoring everything ELSE you said and want to focus on the fact that you think that I'm "old" (because I too am 42 years old).

I'm sorry. How can I make it up to you?

banks said:

PurpleJedi said:

I'm completely ignoring everything ELSE you said and want to focus on the fact that you think that I'm "old" (because I too am 42 years old).

Me Too

What can I do to make you feel better?

dJJ said:

paintedlady said:

If you are >30 then 42 is "old" for you and you should date younger unless he was exceptional... but if a male friend tells you he is no good, then I would trust it.

If the male friend you have is an ex-boyfriend then I would take what he says with a grain of salt, particulary if it was a messy break-up. Sour grapes and all.

If a female friend is in a "good" place, then I would trust her opinion on the matter completely, if she was depressed then I would take what she says with a grain of salt.

So in this situation, you should wait on the friend to give you a second opinion, if she says he is a nuttter, then run. If she says he's cool... then proceed with caution and look for red-flags.

Thank you. You are the best adviser on the board!

I'm 38, so I guess I should not be so harsh on 'older' guys. It's just that younger guys flirt with me a lot, and I sort of like young. Sorry, guys, did not want to hurt your feelings.

Male friend is not my ex and actually celebrating his 21st marriage anniverary this week. He's a very good friend, sort of older brother/little sister relationship. He's 55. So, I don't discriminate on age in friendships

And yes, female friend is at a good place at the moment. Exactly that is what worries me. She didn't respond yet, and wait for her story.

But I've found out that it's wise to listen to the advice of good and true friends. So, I think I'm going to cancel this guy.

OK having this information... I would say RUN hard and fast!

and thank you I enjoy your posts as well!

dJJ said:

paintedlady said:

If you are >30 then 42 is "old" for you and you should date younger unless he was exceptional... but if a male friend tells you he is no good, then I would trust it.

If the male friend you have is an ex-boyfriend then I would take what he says with a grain of salt, particulary if it was a messy break-up. Sour grapes and all.

If a female friend is in a "good" place, then I would trust her opinion on the matter completely, if she was depressed then I would take what she says with a grain of salt.

So in this situation, you should wait on the friend to give you a second opinion, if she says he is a nuttter, then run. If she says he's cool... then proceed with caution and look for red-flags.

Thank you. You are the best adviser on the board!

I'm 38, so I guess I should not be so harsh on 'older' guys. It's just that younger guys flirt with me a lot, and I sort of like young. Sorry, guys, did not want to hurt your feelings.

Male friend is not my ex and actually celebrating his 21st marriage anniverary this week. He's a very good friend, sort of older brother/little sister relationship. He's 55. So, I don't discriminate on age in friendships

And yes, female friend is at a good place at the moment. Exactly that is what worries me. She didn't respond yet, and wait for her story.

But I've found out that it's wise to listen to the advice of good and true friends. So, I think I'm going to cancel this guy.

You're 38 and you're calling someone who's 42 old?

And the guy is not well kept for his age.

You can read a life style after a certain age on a guy;s skin, eyes, wrinkles, etc. And I don't feel like a guy of 42 who still needs his alcohol to deal with his emotions. Very immature.

I'd rather have immaturity without the wrinkles then.

banks said:

PurpleJedi said:

I'm completely ignoring everything ELSE you said and want to focus on the fact that you think that I'm "old" (because I too am 42 years old).

Me Too

You all need a

Men don't like being called old but you either get older or die at an early age, take your pick.

I agree with paintedlady, if a good friend(s) have concerns or warns you about anybody, I'd listened. We all have friends who run off at the mouth and those who think before they speak, don't readily pass judgment, and choose their words carefully. I always listen to the latter group, they've yet to be wrong.

Genesia said:

dJJ said:

Thank you. You are the best adviser on the board!

I'm 38, so I guess I should not be so harsh on 'older' guys. It's just that younger guys flirt with me a lot, and I sort of like young. Sorry, guys, did not want to hurt your feelings.

Male friend is not my ex and actually celebrating his 21st marriage anniverary this week. He's a very good friend, sort of older brother/little sister relationship. He's 55. So, I don't discriminate on age in friendships

And yes, female friend is at a good place at the moment. Exactly that is what worries me. She didn't respond yet, and wait for her story.

But I've found out that it's wise to listen to the advice of good and true friends. So, I think I'm going to cancel this guy.

You're 38 and you're calling someone who's 42 old?

I know. It's just that young guys like me, so, when they are that available, why bother with the oldies?

And I have been with guys of my own age. And they weren't a tiny bit more mature than the young guys I've been with. So, if I have to deal with the same immature teenage ideals of a guy, no matter if he's 26 or 36, I prefer the younger studs.

dJJ said:

PurpleJedi said:

I'm completely ignoring everything ELSE you said and want to focus on the fact that you think that I'm "old" (because I too am 42 years old).

I'm sorry. How can I make it up to you?

...you buy the first round of Dos Equis in Seattle.

PurpleJedi said:

dJJ said:

I'm sorry. How can I make it up to you?

...you buy the first round of Dos Equis in Seattle.

Now that would be great! And yes, if in osme miraculous way I can afford to meet you guys in Seattle, than yes, first round is on me

dJJ said:

And the guy is not well kept for his age.

You can read a life style after a certain age on a guy;s skin, eyes, wrinkles, etc. And I don't feel like a guy of 42 who still needs his alcohol to deal with his emotions. Very immature.

I'd rather have immaturity without the wrinkles then.

Why did you go out with him in the first place?

And keep your friends out of your personal relationships.

PurpleJedi said:

dJJ said:

I'm sorry. How can I make it up to you?

...you buy the first round of Dos Equis in Seattle.

Maya's on Rainer Ave serves great Cadillac Margaritas, apparently.......

dJJ said:

Genesia said:

You're 38 and you're calling someone who's 42 old?

I know. It's just that young guys like me, so, when they are that available, why bother with the oldies?

And I have been with guys of my own age. And they weren't a tiny bit more mature than the young guys I've been with. So, if I have to deal with the same immature teenage ideals of a guy, no matter if he's 26 or 36, I prefer the younger studs.

Yeah, well...most of the gay men I've known (and I've known plenty) behaved like 15-year-old girls, so...

dJJ said:

PurpleJedi said:

...you buy the first round of Dos Equis in Seattle.

Maya's on Rainer Ave serves great Cadillac Margaritas, apparently.......

You need a young,good looking choir boy like myself.

Woman age badly,particularly at 38,if they don't work out regularly or after having couple of kids.Most men at 42 look better than women at 38

42 old man>>>>>>>>38 old woman

iaminparties said:

Woman age badly,particularly at 38,if they don't work out regularly or after having couple of kids.Most men at 42 look better than women at 38

42 old man>>>>>>>>38 old woman

yeah, you'r the expertluva, right?

It's just my experience that man of 42 don't look as good as they think.

Drinking and fat diet does show at that age. Women tend to have healthier life style.

And yes, kids are the biggest thread to a women's physical wellbeing. Still, I think they look sexy.

And the fairitale of young girls thinking old guys are hansome is over since girls don't need those guys for their income anymore. Guys don't age well, generally speaking.

Since you don't think men age well at 42.

Describe yourself or post a pic.

Im 32 and some people think I look 25.That's what happens you are a good boy like me,but girls prefer bad boys who smoke,drink,do dope and smack them around.

iaminparties said:

Woman age badly,particularly at 38,if they don't work out regularly or after having couple of kids.Most men at 42 look better than women at 38

42 old man>>>>>>>>38 old woman

I know plenty of paunchy, bald (or balding) 42-year-old men. I know no bald 42-year-old women.

Get over yourself.

PurpleJedi said:

I'm completely ignoring everything ELSE you said and want to focus on the fact that you think that I'm "old" (because I too am 42 years old).

cough:codger:cough

iaminparties said:

Since you don't think men age well at 42.

Describe yourself or post a pic.

Im 32 and some people think I look 25.That's what happens you are a good boy like me,but girls prefer bad boys who smoke,drink,do dope and smack them around.

You are a 32 year old virgin?

paintedlady said:

iaminparties said:

Since you don't think men age well at 42.

Describe yourself or post a pic.

Im 32 and some people think I look 25.That's what happens you are a good boy like me,but girls prefer bad boys who smoke,drink,do dope and smack them around.

You are a 32 year old virgin?

This flamer has it for me.

iaminparties said:

paintedlady said:

You are a 32 year old virgin?

This flamer has it for me.

Wait.... aren't YOU the one tellin' folks here that you have no experience with the fairer sex? You made that bed for yourself.

my surprise is not stating that its a bad thing... its just unusual that's all.

Besides, ladies here might actually dig a virgin, and the OP stated she likes younger guys... she may be a good teacher.

Just sayin...

[Edited 12/5/12 10:45am]