You my Uncle Teddy-the one who, legend had it, watched Motown 25-he woke up from a Wild Turkey induced bender, saw Debarge and said, "I didn't know Motown was hiring Puerto Ricans" and then passed back out.

In drunk Uncle Teddy's honor, I think you need to post some of his most famous stories that you've shared on the org through the years...somehow with the stuff he used to say that you've posted here reminds me of stuff vainandy would say

Ottensen said:

In drunk Uncle Teddy's honor, I think you need to post some of his most famous stories that you've shared on the org through the years...somehow with the stuff he used to say that you've posted here reminds me of stuff vainandy would say

I've heard some of the stories about him. Me and him would have turned that family out!

Ottensen said:

In drunk Uncle Teddy's honor, I think you need to post some of his most famous stories that you've shared on the org through the years...somehow with the stuff he used to say that you've posted here reminds me of stuff vainandy would say

I concur...I love those Uncle Teddy stories!

do tell

scriptgirl said:

You my Uncle Teddy-the one who, legend had it, watched Motown 25-he woke up from a Wild Turkey induced bender, saw Debarge and said, "I didn't know Motown was hiring Puerto Ricans" and then passed back out.

I feel as though I know him. I hope he is RIP and having a funky good time.

I raise a glass (of bourbon) a toast to the late beloved Uncle Teddy; he maybe gone but he's surely not forgotten.

Well, Ms Trina, if Uncle Teddy were here, there would be more than Bourbon imbibed and it would be done over several weeks and cops would be called and cussed out by Uncle Teddy. Andy, if you like Wild Turkey and you and Uncle woulda had a time. Ms Trina, would you have repped Uncle Teddy in court? Here are some stories I have previously told on here-did a search for em on the org as I am too lazy to type em up anew:

This is the Jehovah Witness story along with some others:

My cousins and I were talking recently about our beloved drunk Uncle Teddy. He was a COLORFUL character and an absolutely beautiful man-looked like a cross between Billy Eckstine and Phillip Michael Thomas. But in spite of that, he was batshit crazy-we are talking a cross between ODB and DMX with some Bobby Brown liberally sprinkled in. He is the relative that when you see him coming, you put the double locks on. Anyway, my cousins and I were talking about Uncle Teddy's greatest hits.

Some of you already know the legendary Debarge story:

My older cousins said he took one look at Debarge during Motown 25 and said, "I didn't know Motown was hiring Puerto Ricans" and then he passed out from having consumed 3 bottles of Wild Turkey in one hour.

And then this one:

Rumor has it that when he was 17, Uncle Teddy tried to pick up the 100 year old aunt of his best friend at a funeral. He said he did it cause he was a young man and she had a lot to teach.

Plus this one:

And then there was the time he cussed out a troop of Girl Scouts trying to sell him cookies-they had run out of Thin Mints & all they had were Samoas. Uncle Teddy told them to take their "skinny asses off his porch because everyone knew that Thin Mints went better with Jack"-as in Jack Daniels.

Those stories I have already shared on the board, but then this one I never heard before:

At one point, Uncle Teddy lived in an area where Jehovah Witnesses going door to door was common. UncleTeddy got sick of it. After all, he reasoned, "how was a god fearing drunk" like himself supposed to sleep off a hangover "if a bunch of dried up old pussies" kept ringing his doorbell "like those jackasses ringing them Salvation Army bells?"

Anyway, one time Uncle had enough. He got up answered the door stark naked-but across his chest he had written "Jesus Saves" and drew an arrow pointing down to his penis. One of the little old ladies called the cops on him. My Aunt Consuela had to bail him out. Do you know that fool strutted out of the jail, singing "My Ding A Ling" by Chuck Berry?"

I am truly laughing out loud here at my desk at work. These folks around here think I have lost my damn mind.

I stayed away from representing family and friend drunks. Mainly because they usually cut up on holidays and weekends, I would've never seen a holiday nor a weekend. However, I would've represented your Uncle on coming to his door without a stitch an arrow point "south". They came to his door.... oh well.

My family is from Louisville Ky.... drinking was and is taken very seriously. For real, I don't know too many people who would drink... touch Wild Turkey, that is some serious shit and I love Burbon.

=========================

[Edited 10/26/12 16:33pm]

Ms Trina, my Uncle Teddy was truly special, bless his heart.

Did I ever tell you about the time old boy was dating both the minister and the deacon's wife (wait let me correct that-not sure if the Pentecostals have deacons, but that is what Uncle Teddy called the woman) at the local Pentecostal church and then when he was done with them, would take the bus uptown to see the wife of a Methodist minister to "give her a jingle", as he put it?

One time he was 6 hours late for Thanksgiving dinner cause he did exactly that. That fool had the nerve to put his feet under my granny's table and said he had done the "Lord's work" and that because of that, he never had to go get sanctifed again, cause he KNEW his ass was going to heaven. Shit, said Uncle Teddy, if he hadn't been doing the Lord's work, how come those ladies kept screaming out "Yes, Jesus."

Let's just say that me and my younger cousins damn near had to eat Thanksgiving dinner in the yard, because my aunt moved the little kids table to the porch after Uncle Teddy let loose with that.

[Edited 10/26/12 16:17pm]

scriptgirl said:

Ms Trina, my Uncle Teddy was truly special, bless his heart.

Did I ever tell you about the time old boy was dating both the minister and the deacon's wife (wait let me correct that-not sure if the Pentecostals have deacons, but that is what Uncle Teddy called the woman) at the local Pentecostal church and then when he was done with them, would take the bus uptown to see the wife of a Methodist minister to "give her a jingle", as he put it?

One time he was 6 hours late for Thanksgiving dinner cause he did exactly that. That fool had the nerve to put his feet under my granny's table and said he had done the "Lord's work" and that because of that, he never had to go get sanctifed again, cause he KNEW his ass was going to heaven. Shit, said Uncle Teddy, if he hadn't been doing the Lord's work, how come those ladies kept screaming out "Yes, Jesus."

Let's just say that me and my younger cousins damn near had to eat Thanksgiving dinner in the yard, because my aunt moved the little kids table to the porch after Uncle Teddy let loose with that.

[Edited 10/26/12 16:17pm]

Oh something tells me, your Uncle and I would get along swimmingly.

I think you would have. Uncle Teddy was a big music fan.

as many beers as i have had tonight I do not have any idea what you are on about but I kind of dug el debatage... so rip uncle teddy!

scriptgirl said:

Ms Trina, my Uncle Teddy was truly special, bless his heart.

Did I ever tell you about the time old boy was dating both the minister and the deacon's wife (wait let me correct that-not sure if the Pentecostals have deacons, but that is what Uncle Teddy called the woman) at the local Pentecostal church and then when he was done with them, would take the bus uptown to see the wife of a Methodist minister to "give her a jingle", as he put it?

One time he was 6 hours late for Thanksgiving dinner cause he did exactly that. That fool had the nerve to put his feet under my granny's table and said he had done the "Lord's work" and that because of that, he never had to go get sanctifed again, cause he KNEW his ass was going to heaven. Shit, said Uncle Teddy, if he hadn't been doing the Lord's work, how come those ladies kept screaming out "Yes, Jesus."

Let's just say that me and my younger cousins damn near had to eat Thanksgiving dinner in the yard, because my aunt moved the little kids table to the porch after Uncle Teddy let loose with that.

[Edited 10/26/12 16:17pm]

girl I wish I could see a picture of Uncle Teddy. So I guess your aunt, his sister, had a helluva time just tolerating his shenanigians..she seemed no nonsense.

No one likes to talk about it, but the word in the family is that my aunt got a bit too attached to valium. I'm not pointing fingers, but..

scriptgirl said:

No one likes to talk about it, but the word in the family is that my aunt got a bit too attached to valium. I'm not pointing fingers, but..

I guess so, dealing with Uncle Teddy.

I adore your stories of your late uncle Teddy.... I am so glad he left you with such wonderful memories of him. He was a riot!

Thank you for sharing your memories of him with us love.

Thank y'all for letting me share my memories. He was a character and in spite of all, a decent human.

[Edited 10/27/12 1:09am]

vainandy said:

Ottensen said:

In drunk Uncle Teddy's honor, I think you need to post some of his most famous stories that you've shared on the org through the years...somehow with the stuff he used to say that you've posted here reminds me of stuff vainandy would say

I've heard some of the stories about him. Me and him would have turned that family out!

I bet'chu you shole woulda- to me you're like the Uncle Teddy of prince.org

scriptgirl said:

Thank y'all for letting me share my memories. He was a character and in spite of all, a decent human.

[Edited 10/27/12 1:09am]

I love these stories. When you talk about him and mention that he looked like Billy Eckstine it reminds me of my favorite auntie that passed recently: she was a character too, and loved her some crazy-funny Billy Ekstine looking men. She probably would have been chasing your Uncle Teddy like crazy had she ever known him She was many times married but everybody always referred to her by her last name (the name of her first and favorite dearly departed husband); she had very big hair, chain smoked menthol cigarettes, had a gold tooth, carried a Smith & Wesson in her big designer purses everywhere she went & dressed liked Dorothy Dandridge and "Carmen Jones" till the day she died. She was one of those ladies who was always batting her eyelashes and speaking in a soft feminine voice, but I heard from my mom & other auties when one of her husbands tried to hit her once, she cold cocked him with the skillet my Grandma used to bake cornbread and filed for divorce within the week. She was kind of a femme fatale, but not really so fatale, you just couldn't cross her or underestimate her because she was always packing that big ole gun in her purse, or wasn't afraid to pull out my Grandma's skillet. I wish I had pictures of her...in another life you and me probably coulda ended up related between those two

Here's a toast to Uncle Teddy, my Auntie Stallworth, and colorful family hell raisers everywhere

scriptgirl said:

Ms Trina, my Uncle Teddy was truly special, bless his heart.

Did I ever tell you about the time old boy was dating both the minister and the deacon's wife (wait let me correct that-not sure if the Pentecostals have deacons, but that is what Uncle Teddy called the woman) at the local Pentecostal church and then when he was done with them, would take the bus uptown to see the wife of a Methodist minister to "give her a jingle", as he put it?

One time he was 6 hours late for Thanksgiving dinner cause he did exactly that. That fool had the nerve to put his feet under my granny's table and said he had done the "Lord's work" and that because of that, he never had to go get sanctifed again, cause he KNEW his ass was going to heaven. Shit, said Uncle Teddy, if he hadn't been doing the Lord's work, how come those ladies kept screaming out "Yes, Jesus."

Let's just say that me and my younger cousins damn near had to eat Thanksgiving dinner in the yard, because my aunt moved the little kids table to the porch after Uncle Teddy let loose with that.

[Edited 10/26/12 16:17pm]

Oh my damn....