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Reply #90 posted 10/19/12 4:02am

ZombieKitten

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sexton said:



ZombieKitten said:




1/5


5 minutes in I realised this was Alien Twilight and went to bed early instead. Good call mr.green




You rated a movie after wathcing only five minutes of it? hmm


I watched 3/4 lol
I'm the mistake you wanna make
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Reply #91 posted 10/19/12 11:48am

PREDOMINANT

avatar

morningsong said:

Wit - 4.8/5 Terribly heartbreaking, completely engaging. I never thought I would get so much meaning from a children's book. Emma was awesome.

A renowned professor is forced to reassess her life when she is diagnosed with terminal ovarian cancer.

This is a great film, one of Emma's best. Truely moving.

[Edited 10/19/12 4:48am]

Happy is he who finds out the causes for things.Virgil (70-19 BC). Virgil was such a lying bastard!
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Reply #92 posted 10/19/12 11:51am

PREDOMINANT

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5/5 Simply a great film with a bit of everything - except romance - a perfect film

Happy is he who finds out the causes for things.Virgil (70-19 BC). Virgil was such a lying bastard!
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Reply #93 posted 10/19/12 5:59pm

sexton

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PREDOMINANT said:

5/5 Simply a great film with a bit of everything - except romance - a perfect film

I liked this movie a lot. Brendan Gleeson romanced those two ladies quite well, I thought. smile

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Reply #94 posted 10/20/12 6:30am

morningsong

Looper 5/5 Deep, well thought out storyline. That song at the end, tears, I nearly embarassed myself, I almost completely lost it.

Argo 5/5 About damned time a movie like this came along. Theatre was packed.

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Reply #95 posted 10/20/12 6:43am

kewlschool

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1/10

Taken 2! mad Crappy action movie-the premise was a stretch. SPOILER ALERT The idea that the bad guys relatives are going to seek revenge would have worked better had they been involved in the business of forced prostitution. Instead they seek revenge at all costs? I also think the movie would have been better if it just involved his xwife and not the kid. This film unlike the first film didn't have the suspense needed.

99.9% of everything I say is strictly for my own entertainment
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Reply #96 posted 10/20/12 6:46am

alphastreet

Baby Mama

7.5/10 turned out better than I thought, and I love Amy Pohler

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Reply #97 posted 10/20/12 9:32am

morningsong

Seven Psychopaths 4/5 Very Funny. Sick, but funny.

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Reply #98 posted 10/20/12 12:53pm

damosuzuki

morningsong said:

Seven Psychopaths 4/5 Very Funny. Sick, but funny.

I very much want to see this (it's the latest from the In Bruges guy, I believe), but I still haven't made it to the Master or Looper yet, so it's at least 3rd in line.

I watched Trick r Treat last night. It is the season for horror & I'd heard this movie was a cut above the usual halloween fare, and I suppose it is, but it's not that much better IMO. Dylan Baker is usually worth watching. 3/5

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Reply #99 posted 10/20/12 4:06pm

RodeoSchro

kewlschool said:

1/10

Taken 2! mad Crappy action movie-the premise was a stretch. SPOILER ALERT The idea that the bad guys relatives are going to seek revenge would have worked better had they been involved in the business of forced prostitution. Instead they seek revenge at all costs? I also think the movie would have been better if it just involved his xwife and not the kid. This film unlike the first film didn't have the suspense needed.

Did you not read my synopsis?!?

Sorry you had to sit through this turkey of a film!

Read my "Taken 2" synopsis a couple pages back if you want a good laugh at this horrible movie.

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Reply #100 posted 10/20/12 6:24pm

SPYZFAN1

Finally watched "A Cabin In The Woods"....a total mindfuck of a movie. Totally NOT what I expected in a horror flick. A lot of twists and turns in the storyline.

But I dug the surprise celeb cameo at the end of the movie. For that alone I gave it a 7.

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Reply #101 posted 10/20/12 10:54pm

RicoN

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hugo - 8/10 better than i expected because it was the least scorcese scorsese movie i've seen in a while...

Hamburger, Hot Dog, Root Beer, Pussy
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Reply #102 posted 10/20/12 11:04pm

Tittypants

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Definitely better than I thought it would be: star star star & a Half Stars


The Amazing Spider Man

I really enjoyed this one: star star star star

The beguiled


الحيوان النادلة ((((|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|)))) ...AND THAT'S THE WAY THE "TITTY" MILKS IT!
My Albums: https://zillzmp.bandcamp.com/music
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Reply #103 posted 10/21/12 5:01am

kewlschool

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RodeoSchro said:

kewlschool said:

1/10

Taken 2! mad Crappy action movie-the premise was a stretch. SPOILER ALERT The idea that the bad guys relatives are going to seek revenge would have worked better had they been involved in the business of forced prostitution. Instead they seek revenge at all costs? I also think the movie would have been better if it just involved his xwife and not the kid. This film unlike the first film didn't have the suspense needed.

Did you not read my synopsis?!?

Sorry you had to sit through this turkey of a film!

Read my "Taken 2" synopsis a couple pages back if you want a good laugh at this horrible movie.

No, I did not. confused

I just know that it did like 50 million in the first week. Normally a good sign.

99.9% of everything I say is strictly for my own entertainment
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Reply #104 posted 10/22/12 3:03pm

sexton

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The Adventures of Tintin (2011) - Intrepid reporter Tintin and Captain Haddock set off on a treasure hunt for a sunken ship commanded by Haddock's ancestor.

The animation really excelled during the intricate action scenes. The story was okay. star star star

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Reply #105 posted 10/22/12 4:21pm

RodeoSchro

DARK SHADOWS - 1/2 bat out of however many bats you wish to include.

Let me say this first off - I blame YOU for the wasting of two hours of my time, plus the further cementing (in my wife's eyes) of the felonious fallacy that I cannot pick a good movie.

You see, I recommended we watch this turkey based on several of you who reviewed this "movie" said, "Oh, it's great! The best Tim Burton movie ever! Johnny Depp is a scream!" Thanks - thanks for NOTHING.

So now you all owe me. At least, you alleged filmophiles who pimped this snorefest owe me.

Let's examine all the ways this movie failed. The failures can be broken down into various categories - CAST; ANGELIQUE; PLOT; SCENERY; MONSTERS; CAMEOS; SMOKING and SOUNDTRACK.

CAST - As usual, Johnny Depp was great. Too bad he was in a horrible film. The rest of the cast sucked. And that's not a vampire-related pun either. They just sucked. Literally. Michelle Pfeiffer had her make-up done in Prince Style. You know, it looked like she was always sucking on a lemon ("sucking" on a lemon. Get it? Get it?). I don't know who the googly-eyed old guy was, but he was alright. It was like they forgot about the Victoria Winters character about 30 minutes into the movie (not that I'm complaining. The more characters they forgot about, the better). The kids were horrible. The ghosts were even worse. The brother was so bad that I forgot he was in the movie, and had to add this sentence way after I wrote all the paragraphs below. Oh yeah, there was a psychiatrist too. I forgot her. Also, there was an old lady family member. WTF was up with her? She did nothing. I thought for sure that at the end, she'd be revealed as the Mother Of All Witches or something, but she never even had a line. Just a dustpan.

ANGELIQUE - If I ever see Tim Burton, I'm going to slap him for making my childhood crush into a villian. How dare he! The REAL Angelique was a princess and was always sorry for making Baranbas a vampire, and tried to reverse the spell. THAT is the Angelique that a ten-year-old RodeoSchro swore he would one day marry. Grrrrrrrrr! Now that we've established the mistake of the Angelique character, let's pick at the actress that played her. This chick might be a lot of things, but pretty ain't one of them. Not that she's coyote ugly, but as anyone who watched the real "Dark Shadows" TV series and/or movies knows, the REAL Angelique's beauty cannot be matched by anyone on Earth or Ghost World. The Angelique in this movie doesn't have 1/10th the looks needed to portray a goddess such as Angelique.

PLOT - Ugh. Stupid. Made no sense. By the end, who cared if Barnabas won or lost? Hell, after watching that movie, who even KNOWS if Barnabas won or lost? Really, this whole movie was just stupid. I think the epitome of the stupidity was when the daughter says, "Yeah, I'm a werewolf" and then proceeds to get her werewolf ass kicked by Ugly Angelique. And the ghost killed Angelique by throwing her onto a chandelier? One time? A ghost who couldn't protect herself in real life, or anyone else for that matter, and is always asking the forgotten Victoria Winters to "Help me!" all of a sudden can kill the baddest witch of all time? Give me a break. HINT: When watching the opening of a movie, if you see mulitple writers listed with the word "and" in between them, you know you're screwed. Because the "and" means that one guy wrote it but messed it up so bad they had to bring in another guy to try and save it. Yep - this movie has the dreaded "and" in its writing credits, so I knew from the get-go there was going to be trouble. I just wish I knew which writer to blame for Barnabas eating the hippies. Again, what a stupid scene that had nothing to do with anything at all.

SCENERY - Meh. It was OK. I guess the scenery and the overall cool of Johnny Depp are why I gave this movie the 1/2 bat, instead of zero bats. Well that, and the 1970 convertible 'Cuda that Angelique drove. That car was great.

MONSTERS - OMFG were they bad. First of all, when you've got to attach prostetic fingers in order to make a guy look like a vampire, you should know you have vampire problems. On one hand (get it?!?), I bet after all that finger-stretching by Depp that he can make chords on his guitar that he couldn't make before! Which, if you think about it, is probably a worse curse than being made a vampire because all those new chords will be jazz chords and no one likes to listen to anyone play jazz chords. I've already covered the total ineptitude of the teen-girl-with-PMS/werewolf. I'm not sure if the little boy was supposed to be a monster or not. For some reason I kept thinking he was Eddie Munster, which then brought to mind horrible images of Paul Ryan working out, so I guess that makes the boy a monster in my book. The psychiatrist is now a monster, so let's include her here. What a stereotype she was! Although, I did not see her giving Barnabas a blow-job coming. And like everything else in that movie, it was gratuitous. Oh yeah - it turns out at the end of the movie that Angelique's company's entire board of directors are warlocks! Or zombies. Or something. At least, they entombed and carried Barnabas in a coffin with all the nonchalence of passing a Unanimous Consent decree concerning filing an application for an extension to file various state tax forms.

CAMEOS - I heard that Jonathon Frid - the original Barnabas Collins - had a cameo in this movie. Really? Who was he? One of Alice Cooper's guitar players? Someone help me out here, because I have no idea if Frid was in this movie or not. Thinking about it, the only character I think he could have been was the old lady family member/non-Mother Of All Witches. I'd go on wikipedia and look, but you know what? I really don't care that much.

SMOKING - Of COURSE some of the characters smoked. Specifically, the alcoholic, vampire-blowing psychiatrist, and the brother. There was no reason at all for them to smoke, so clearly Burton was paid off by Big Death (tobacco companies). I am not surprised. Burton obviously thought that actually selling his soul to the devil would help this fictitious movie but guess what? FAIL! But the even dumber smoker was Angelique. As I'm sure you can guess, I am less than pleased that Burton had Angelique smoke. Angelique is a goddess and as such would never touch a cancer stick. However, the Angelique of this movie was so messed up that she never even really smoked! All she did was hold a cigarette at various times. She never took a puff! I honestly don't know whether to say "YAY!" or "WTF?!?" Maybe she's like Tom Cruise in "Risky Business" - an actual non-smoker who is forced to be around cigarettes and make it look like they smoke, because Big Death paid for that. Scientology, perhaps? Who knows! Who cares!

SOUNDTRACK - For all the good music of that era, Burton sure picked horrible songs. This soundtrack is even worse than the "Batman" soundtrack. At least with "Batman", the Prince songs were great songs that just didn't fit in Burton's movie. For "Dark Shadows", Burton picked crappy songs for a crappy movie. Being consistent in that way didn't help anything. Now let's rag on Alice Cooper. I like Alice Cooper as well as the next guy, but really? He was 63 when this movie was filmed which, in rock star years, is 172. And he looked it! He's in great shape for a 172-year-old rocker, but why put 2011 Alice Cooper in 1972? And where the F was his snake?!? How can you have Alice Cooper rocking Collinswood and all those monsters, and leave out his F'ing snake?!?!?!?!?!?

I know what you're thinking - RodeoSchro, you just don't get Tim Burton. Guilllllllllllty! But I DO get movies that at least make a modicum of sense. This one doesn't.

And I damn sure get Angelique!

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Reply #106 posted 10/22/12 4:22pm

RodeoSchro

kewlschool said:

RodeoSchro said:

Did you not read my synopsis?!?

Sorry you had to sit through this turkey of a film!

Read my "Taken 2" synopsis a couple pages back if you want a good laugh at this horrible movie.

No, I did not. confused

I just know that it did like 50 million in the first week. Normally a good sign.

Read it and appreciate it, because you feel exactly the same about that turdburger with cheese of a movie as I do!

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Reply #107 posted 10/22/12 5:18pm

morningsong

RodeoSchro said:

DARK SHADOWS - 1/2 bat out of however many bats you wish to include.

Let me say this first off - I blame YOU for the wasting of two hours of my time, plus the further cementing (in my wife's eyes) of the felonious fallacy that I cannot pick a good movie.

lol

I can honestly say in this case, It wasn't me. lol

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Reply #108 posted 10/22/12 5:21pm

RodeoSchro

morningsong said:

RodeoSchro said:

DARK SHADOWS - 1/2 bat out of however many bats you wish to include.

Let me say this first off - I blame YOU for the wasting of two hours of my time, plus the further cementing (in my wife's eyes) of the felonious fallacy that I cannot pick a good movie.

lol

I can honestly say in this case, It wasn't me. lol

smile I went back and looked and to be honest, most people gave this movie not such a good review. All the glowing comments about it were actually about the trailer, which had a thread about it a couple months before the movie came out.

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Reply #109 posted 10/22/12 5:50pm

Stymie

Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Well made movie, even though the end pissed me off. 3 stars.

Going to see Argo after work.

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Reply #110 posted 10/22/12 8:47pm

ZombieKitten

avatar

RodeoSchro said:

DARK SHADOWS - 1/2 bat out of however many bats you wish to include.



Let me say this first off - I blame YOU for the wasting of two hours of my time, plus the further cementing (in my wife's eyes) of the felonious fallacy that I cannot pick a good movie.



You see, I recommended we watch this turkey based on several of you who reviewed this "movie" said, "Oh, it's great! The best Tim Burton movie ever! Johnny Depp is a scream!" Thanks - thanks for NOTHING.



So now you all owe me. At least, you alleged filmophiles who pimped this snorefest owe me.



Let's examine all the ways this movie failed. The failures can be broken down into various categories - CAST; ANGELIQUE; PLOT; SCENERY; MONSTERS; CAMEOS; SMOKING and SOUNDTRACK.



CAST - As usual, Johnny Depp was great. Too bad he was in a horrible film. The rest of the cast sucked. And that's not a vampire-related pun either. They just sucked. Literally. Michelle Pfeiffer had her make-up done in Prince Style. You know, it looked like she was always sucking on a lemon ("sucking" on a lemon. Get it? Get it?). I don't know who the googly-eyed old guy was, but he was alright. It was like they forgot about the Victoria Winters character about 30 minutes into the movie (not that I'm complaining. The more characters they forgot about, the better). The kids were horrible. The ghosts were even worse. The brother was so bad that I forgot he was in the movie, and had to add this sentence way after I wrote all the paragraphs below. Oh yeah, there was a psychiatrist too. I forgot her. Also, there was an old lady family member. WTF was up with her? She did nothing. I thought for sure that at the end, she'd be revealed as the Mother Of All Witches or something, but she never even had a line. Just a dustpan.



ANGELIQUE - If I ever see Tim Burton, I'm going to slap him for making my childhood crush into a villian. How dare he! The REAL Angelique was a princess and was always sorry for making Baranbas a vampire, and tried to reverse the spell. THAT is the Angelique that a ten-year-old RodeoSchro swore he would one day marry. Grrrrr! Now that we've established the mistake of the Angelique character, let's pick at the actress that played her. This chick might be a lot of things, but pretty ain't one of them. Not that she's coyote ugly, but as anyone who watched the real "Dark Shadows" TV series and/or movies knows, the REAL Angelique's beauty cannot be matched by anyone on Earth or Ghost World. The Angelique in this movie doesn't have 1/10th the looks needed to portray a goddess such as Angelique.



PLOT - Ugh. Stupid. Made no sense. By the end, who cared if Barnabas won or lost? Hell, after watching that movie, who even KNOWS if Barnabas won or lost? Really, this whole movie was just stupid. I think the epitome of the stupidity was when the daughter says, "Yeah, I'm a werewolf" and then proceeds to get her werewolf ass kicked by Ugly Angelique. And the ghost killed Angelique by throwing her onto a chandelier? One time? A ghost who couldn't protect herself in real life, or anyone else for that matter, and is always asking the forgotten Victoria Winters to "Help me!" all of a sudden can kill the baddest witch of all time? Give me a break. HINT: When watching the opening of a movie, if you see mulitple writers listed with the word "and" in between them, you know you're screwed. Because the "and" means that one guy wrote it but messed it up so bad they had to bring in another guy to try and save it. Yep - this movie has the dreaded "and" in its writing credits, so I knew from the get-go there was going to be trouble. I just wish I knew which writer to blame for Barnabas eating the hippies. Again, what a stupid scene that had nothing to do with anything at all.



SCENERY - Meh. It was OK. I guess the scenery and the overall cool of Johnny Depp are why I gave this movie the 1/2 bat, instead of zero bats. Well that, and the 1970 convertible 'Cuda that Angelique drove. That car was great.



MONSTERS - OMFG were they bad. First of all, when you've got to attach prostetic fingers in order to make a guy look like a vampire, you should know you have vampire problems. On one hand (get it?!?), I bet after all that finger-stretching by Depp that he can make chords on his guitar that he couldn't make before! Which, if you think about it, is probably a worse curse than being made a vampire because all those new chords will be jazz chords and no one likes to listen to anyone play jazz chords. I've already covered the total ineptitude of the teen-girl-with-PMS/werewolf. I'm not sure if the little boy was supposed to be a monster or not. For some reason I kept thinking he was Eddie Munster, which then brought to mind horrible images of Paul Ryan working out, so I guess that makes the boy a monster in my book. The psychiatrist is now a monster, so let's include her here. What a stereotype she was! Although, I did not see her giving Barnabas a blow-job coming. And like everything else in that movie, it was gratuitous. Oh yeah - it turns out at the end of the movie that Angelique's company's entire board of directors are warlocks! Or zombies. Or something. At least, they entombed and carried Barnabas in a coffin with all the nonchalence of passing a Unanimous Consent decree concerning filing an application for an extension to file various state tax forms.



CAMEOS - I heard that Jonathon Frid - the original Barnabas Collins - had a cameo in this movie. Really? Who was he? One of Alice Cooper's guitar players? Someone help me out here, because I have no idea if Frid was in this movie or not. Thinking about it, the only character I think he could have been was the old lady family member/non-Mother Of All Witches. I'd go on wikipedia and look, but you know what? I really don't care that much.



SMOKING - Of COURSE some of the characters smoked. Specifically, the alcoholic, vampire-blowing psychiatrist, and the brother. There was no reason at all for them to smoke, so clearly Burton was paid off by Big Death (tobacco companies). I am not surprised. Burton obviously thought that actually selling his soul to the devil would help this fictitious movie but guess what? FAIL! But the even dumber smoker was Angelique. As I'm sure you can guess, I am less than pleased that Burton had Angelique smoke. Angelique is a goddess and as such would never touch a cancer stick. However, the Angelique of this movie was so messed up that she never even really smoked! All she did was hold a cigarette at various times. She never took a puff! I honestly don't know whether to say "YAY!" or "WTF?!?" Maybe she's like Tom Cruise in "Risky Business" - an actual non-smoker who is forced to be around cigarettes and make it look like they smoke, because Big Death paid for that. Scientology, perhaps? Who knows! Who cares!



SOUNDTRACK - For all the good music of that era, Burton sure picked horrible songs. This soundtrack is even worse than the "Batman" soundtrack. At least with "Batman", the Prince songs were great songs that just didn't fit in Burton's movie. For "Dark Shadows", Burton picked crappy songs for a crappy movie. Being consistent in that way didn't help anything. Now let's rag on Alice Cooper. I like Alice Cooper as well as the next guy, but really? He was 63 when this movie was filmed which, in rock star years, is 172. And he looked it! He's in great shape for a 172-year-old rocker, but why put 2011 Alice Cooper in 1972? And where the F was his snake?!? How can you have Alice Cooper rocking Collinswood and all those monsters, and leave out his F'ing snake?!?!?!?!?!?



I know what you're thinking - RodeoSchro, you just don't get Tim Burton. Guilllllty! But I DO get movies that at least make a modicum of sense. This one doesn't.



And I damn sure get Angelique!




falloff falloff
Thank you for another movie I won't have to see!

When my dad goes to the video shop he always comes home with films that have women dressed in animal skins with swords on the covers. We can't trust him to choose a movie EVER.
I'm the mistake you wanna make
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Reply #111 posted 10/23/12 1:12am

Stymie

morningsong said:



Looper 5/5 Deep, well thought out storyline. That song at the end, tears, I nearly embarassed myself, I almost completely lost it.





Argo 5/5 About damned time a movie like this came along. Theatre was packed.


I saw these both too and they were great. I just got back from seeing Argo.
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Reply #112 posted 10/23/12 1:37am

TD3

avatar

Tittypants said:

Definitely better than I thought it would be: star star star & a Half Stars


I really enjoyed this one: star star star star

The beguiled


This movie should be retitled...

It Pays Not To Be A Ho' (If You Want To Keep A Leg)


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Reply #113 posted 10/23/12 1:43am

Tittypants

avatar

TD3 said:

Tittypants said:

Definitely better than I thought it would be: star star star & a Half Stars


I really enjoyed this one: star star star star

The beguiled


This movie should be retitled...

It Pays Not To Be A Ho' (If You Want To Keep A Leg)


lol YES! He fucked his self up with that one. The way the little girl did him in was out-cold, but hey, he asked for it. lol

الحيوان النادلة ((((|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|)))) ...AND THAT'S THE WAY THE "TITTY" MILKS IT!
My Albums: https://zillzmp.bandcamp.com/music
My Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/zillz82
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Reply #114 posted 10/23/12 1:53am

TD3

avatar

Tittypants said:

TD3 said:

This movie should be retitled...

It Pays Not To Be A Ho' (If You Want To Keep A Leg)


lol YES! He fucked his self up with that one. The way the little girl did him in was out-cold, but hey, he asked for it. lol

"And I thought you loved me...."

saw chainsaw

giggle

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Reply #115 posted 10/23/12 1:56am

Tittypants

avatar

TD3 said:

Tittypants said:

lol YES! He fucked his self up with that one. The way the little girl did him in was out-cold, but hey, he asked for it. lol

"And I thought you loved me...."

saw chainsaw

giggle

falloff nod

الحيوان النادلة ((((|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|)))) ...AND THAT'S THE WAY THE "TITTY" MILKS IT!
My Albums: https://zillzmp.bandcamp.com/music
My Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/zillz82
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Reply #116 posted 10/23/12 4:08am

ZombieKitten

avatar

Stymie said:

morningsong said:

Looper 5/5 Deep, well thought out storyline. That song at the end, tears, I nearly embarassed myself, I almost completely lost it.

Argo 5/5 About damned time a movie like this came along. Theatre was packed.

I saw these both too and they were great. I just got back from seeing Argo.

Saw Looper today, it was great!

Argo is next hammer

I'm the mistake you wanna make
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Reply #117 posted 10/23/12 5:05pm

cfunk

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ARGO

This movie had my heart racing like no other in recent memory. If you like a good thriller, this is what I rate---MANDATORY VIEWING!!

"Might as well enjoy the view..."
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Reply #118 posted 10/23/12 5:08pm

Stymie

cfunk said:

ARGO

This movie had my heart racing like no other in recent memory. If you like a good thriller, this is what I rate---MANDATORY VIEWING!!

That is a perfect way to describe watching this movie.

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Reply #119 posted 10/23/12 5:12pm

XxAxX

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Trust - british miniseries - 4 stars, because you kind of see the surprise ending coming

Columbus Circle - 5 stars even though you see the twist coming you don't see the end coming

Up the Creek with seth green - 5 stars. simply hilarious

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