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Thread started 09/08/12 7:40pm

DaVanity

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Need help figuring this out! Ever been with someone who ++

Ok guys and girls! Have you ever been with someone (dating/marrid/friends) who are any of these things.

Celeb obsessed

Stuck on themselves (as in they think they aer hot shit and brag about themselves to you constantly)

Talk about how much celebs/athletes/rappers make down to the $$

This guy, my baby daddy, is all of the above. To the point that it is not normal and passing into obessive territoty. I've known him for 10 years and I noticed it about him after we starting dating. Then it got more and more often. We've had an on/off relationship and have been more "off" than "on". We have not lived together since the last time 2 years ago. We have 2 kids together and instead of having conversations and questions about them as a normal caring attentive father would do, he's all up celebrities and his own ass! This is a 36 year old black man mind you. Some great examples of his self-absorbed behavior that has been going on for years include but are not limited too:

For a few years he is on this extreme workout fitness health kick shit. He brags on this to me and about it on Facebook. Posting self pics of him in the gym and lifting. Ok he will call to me and brag about how much he lifted, about his workout supplements, about how men AND woman will come up to him (he says LOL) in and out of the gym and how they brag on him and what they say to him and talk about how "strong" they say he is and so on and so forth!! Any little bt of attention this guy gets he just eats it up!!!! And he will call me, no matter the time or how many times it takes for me to answer the phone) to report back to me about it!!! Besides the gym/workout thing, he's always been a "run tell me what so and so just said to/about me" kind of person!! Like he has to report to me any time someone says anything to him. It's always the stuff to make him look good though LOL!! NEVER anything bad or negative it's always something to make me think people brag on him all the time!! Which I don't believe 1/2 of what I hear from him, habitual liar you know!! I guess where I never brag on him (and we're not together and haven't been for 2 years so why should I!!!!) he feels the compulsion to tell me straight away when anyone does. More example on that below!

Another thing, since he is Black, he brags on black celebs/actors/rappers/athelets/President. It's always been about the Blacks with him!! Like us White Folk aren't successful, wealthy talented too?!?! Never mentions or compliments on that, only about how much the Black folk make and who's on top and top earner and such. His obsessions are: Obama, Jay Z, Puff Daddy, Tiger Woods, Lebron James & Oprah. I really don't wanna hear about it or care to know!! Like he talks about how much they make, are worth, the lattest deals they get paid, who's #1, who's the top earner......down to the DOLLAR!!!

Just last week he wanted to come down and spend the weekend with me and the kids. He lives in NC so he never sees them so I didn't want to really but I said whatever. His mom is deceased and his dad he never knew so he has no concept of a family or a family life. Well when he was here he just had to wake up and hit the gym both mornings. All I heard was bragging going on (he says) from people there. Oh someone said " to be so small man you are STRONG!!!" then another apparently said " man you look 19 they ain't no way you're 36!!!". So I said "well honey if you look 19 I bet I look like I'm 12 without no makeup on!!" So this is the kind of stuff I heard when he'd come back from the gym. So while he was doing his boasting I just let him ramble on and wouldn't feed into it. Like I said, he would always call me to tell me this shit so it's nothing new, I am used to it. I change the subject or don't say anything at all. And later he asks me who I think the top Entertainer of this year is. Hell I don't know! So I said Lady GaGa, Kim Kardashian, Jay Z, Lil' Wayne??? No he said is was Dr. Dre. I said ok how's that?! Well he goes on to tell me how Dre is a prducer now and has those beats things....headphones?? And then quoted me a figure on how much he earned this year! Like he's got the salaries of these Black celenbs memorized and will qoute me about it right on the spot! Especially if say something about a Black person, he comes back with how wealthy/famous/successful they are! And he took it a step further that night too when he gets on my computer and starts looking up images of Lebron James Mansion and sitting there starting at it! I swear to God!! We were sitting on the couch and I thought he turned into a damn statue or fell asleep or something!! He was dead still just staring at those pictures!! I was playing with my son so I just let him have his moment LOL!!

It is a constant thing with him to the point of being self-obsessed and Black celeb-obsessed! BOTH are which TOTAL TURN OFFS!!!!! He drives it into the damn ground! I've got to the point to where I have nothing in common with him (I see that now and as explained above you know why) he's a deadbeat dirtbag horrible excuse for a father or boyfriend. He is pussy crazy and would chase a piece to the ends of the earth if he knew he would get it instead of making time for his kids. Which by the way is what he was trying to do while I was delivering our baby instead of being at the hospital with me in my time! He is a 36 year old man who has 4 kids with 3 different woman (maybe more who knows) and has been living with his best friend and his wife and daughter for a year now. He did have a good job working for the Railroad for almost 2 years and just recently quit that. I believe he got fired but I'll never know the truth so oh well! Now he drives a truch only part time! And he always gets on Facebook posting pictures and rambling on about how much "swagg" he has and about how others want to be like him! Yeah ok, real men strive to have 4 kids, not be a father to any of them, live in a different state, have a part time job, live with your friend and his family and have to share a bathroom with a little girl LOL!!!!! Yeah man that's some hard core "swagg" shit right there!! Watch out now!!

I know there is something mentally off about this guy. The older he gets the more worse he gets!!! I thought for sure he would grow out of it by now and be a mature man!!! HELL NO!!!! I took Psychology, Sociology and Human Relations to know this man ain't right in the head!! I have 4 college degrees and enough sense to know better to ever get involved with him (he had 2 kids, a wife who he was separated from and a criminal past) but you can't help who you fall in love with and I was young and it was my first relationship and I never thought it would go on far or have 2 kids from it!! So having had told him all that stuff above he started screaming at me over the phone on Tuesday. Like voice was getting high like a female and shit! Because he called to brag that Michelle Obamo was closeby so I was like so??!?!?! Then proceeds to tell me about Chris Rock's mom was there too (he lives in Charlotte when that thing was going on last week) and again I was like YEAH AND......!?!?! Everbody has a mom!!!! So he goes on again and is like "you know that movie Armageddon" Yeah ok....I thought he was gonna tell me some good shit like he met Bruce Willis or something! He goes on to tell me like some extra or bit player that was in it was also down there that day!!! Like WTH do I care man!!!! So I stopped him right there and shut his ass down and told it how it was and about how weird he is and that's when he started screaming at me, trying to defend himself, he said I was hard to communicate with!! I said damn we have 2 kids together talk to me about something I can relate to!!!! Ask about how our daughter likes school, how's she doing, are the kids ok, do they need anything!!!!!! Talk about good positive things!!Stuff like that!!! And I told him don't talk to me about no damn Black celebrities when you'll never have any of that fame or money and I won't either! Get your damn head out of your ass and come back down to Earth! Worry about your own damn finances and getting a damn place of your own!!!! I think he is sooooooo JEALOUS with those people because he knows he will NEVER have that lifestyle, that fame or $$$$!!! And it eats him up!!!!! That's why he fantasizes about it!! He gets so excited like a little girl when he talks about what all I mentioned above and when someone says something to him! Oh honey and he does it all with a straight face too LOL!!

Ok I've wrote a lot!!! What do think about all this? Normal or no??? Have you had any experiences with what I mention above? Any friends or significant others like so conceited and stuck on themselves?? Anybody celeb obsessed?? How do you handle a person like this? Especially since this is not who you are or what you care about it? Do you think it needs counseling? I haven't talked to him since this convo 5 days ago. It escalated to where he was screaming at me like a woman because I called him out on his shit and him trying to make me think he's normal, that he mashed a button down on his phone for 20 seconds while I was trying to talk before I finally hung up on him. I mean come on dude, you're like almost 40 years old? Such a sad pathetic little man he is! He's been ringing my home and cell phone off the hook since then. Are you self absorbed or celeb obsessed? Thanks for reading! I would appreciate your thoughts and comments about everyhting smile!

PS--I don't know if this a Black thing......or a man thing.....or ????

I wanna b ur fantasy and maybe u could be mine!
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Reply #1 posted 09/08/12 7:44pm

RenHoek

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moderator

Well damn... I'm just dying to see how this thread plays out...

I might be able to formulate a response in a bit but right now I'm just too stoned

A working class Hero is something to be ~ Lennon
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Reply #2 posted 09/08/12 7:52pm

DaVanity

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RenHoek said:

Well damn... I'm just dying to see how this thread plays out...

I might be able to formulate a response in a bit but right now I'm just too stoned

I'm so sorry to write so much but I tried to include the details about things and the situation and about what kind of person he is. I have no friends to talk to so I waned to get other's input about things. My mom cracked up when I told her all this stuff and about how last week went. She agreed he is taking shit too far and is a little boy in a grown man's body. Maybe I should just cut all ties with him since he will never change or grow up, 10 years later and I see no change on anything ever from him!! He needs me and our 2 kids more than I will ever need him!!

I wanna b ur fantasy and maybe u could be mine!
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Reply #3 posted 09/08/12 8:04pm

paintedlady

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Why'd you pick him? hmm 'Cause he was fione? Girl you shouldda seen that mess coming a mile away... those red flags were waving when you met him and you ignored them. There is no way all this is brand new.

Oh, and that's NOT a "black" thing or a "man" thing... its a self/celebrity obsessed thing.

Just focus on your children's needs and leave that hot mess of a man alone.

lol comfort

[Edited 9/8/12 20:47pm]

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Reply #4 posted 09/08/12 8:52pm

paintedlady

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And girlfriend I must say... you are mad as hell! But I thoroughly understand because I have to deal with a trifiling babydaddy too. Sued his azz for childsupport and now life is peachy.

Just focus on the kids because a mofo like that will age you!

hug Can't change these type men, just gotts change what you allow.

rose

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Reply #5 posted 09/08/12 9:09pm

Billmenever

^ That statement is too much to read. shrug
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Reply #6 posted 09/08/12 9:36pm

DaVanity

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Girrrrrrl you ain't lying smile!!!! Trifiling ass trollup is right indeed smile!!! Thanks for understanding smile!! I too had to take this jerk to court in order to get him to pay out for his 2 kids, knowing I didn't have a job and no other money coming in! Cause his ass sure wasn't offering me any money voluntarily sad. When I was pregnant with our 2nd child, my refridgerator broke down and was tore up to the point I may as well get a new one. Well when I told him and figured he would at least give me some towards it or maybe buy me one LOL! You know what he said to me? "Go and get a styrofoam cooler". This was 3 years ago when he was making $3000 a month (that's good money for down here in the country anyway) and wouldn't even give me any to get a new fridge. None at all sad. Knowing I was 5 or 6 months along and my food that I did have was ruining in the dead of Summer too and me weighing only 115 pounds at most and needing good fresh food for the baby I was carrying and for me and my daughter. We were not living together at that time but damn how cold hearted can you get. Not to mention around that time he told he me he didn't care if I lived or died at that point because he demanded to know about if I had been with anybody but him. I refused to tell him. He had no reason or suspiscion to know or to expect anything at all. Just FYI asshole, the answer was NO! Let's just say I did a lot of crying thru that pregnancy sad. He had looks but those are fading too. He sure has no good qualities on the inside. Maybe some of his "fans" he tells me brags on him will sit and talk celebrity shit all day LOL smile!!

Is it safe to say that men NEVER mature????? They won't get it right even after the millionth time!!

I wanna b ur fantasy and maybe u could be mine!
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Reply #7 posted 09/08/12 10:06pm

paintedlady

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disbelief Some guys like that do not change... you say he's pushing 40? Heck at this point seems like the law can't even change him.

Child support is a good thing! Atleast the support keep the kids life stable when he is inconsistent.

I am sorry you have to deal with all that hun. I know all too well, sigh

the worst was listening to all the empty promises... but no longer. I put a deaf ear to all the bitchassery and force him to man up and focus on those precious babies!

Aren't you so glad you didn't marry him! whew

Atleast he will learn to be a better man because of you and the kids. nod

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Reply #8 posted 09/08/12 11:27pm

OzlemUcucu

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DaVanity said:

Ok guys and girls! Have you ever been with someone (dating/marrid/friends) who are any of these things.

Celeb obsessed

Stuck on themselves (as in they think they aer hot shit and brag about themselves to you constantly)

Talk about how much celebs/athletes/rappers make down to the $$

This guy, my baby daddy, is all of the above. To the point that it is not normal and passing into obessive territoty. I've known him for 10 years and I noticed it about him after we starting dating. Then it got more and more often. We've had an on/off relationship and have been more "off" than "on". We have not lived together since the last time 2 years ago. We have 2 kids together and instead of having conversations and questions about them as a normal caring attentive father would do, he's all up celebrities and his own ass! This is a 36 year old black man mind you. Some great examples of his self-absorbed behavior that has been going on for years include but are not limited too:

For a few years he is on this extreme workout fitness health kick shit. He brags on this to me and about it on Facebook. Posting self pics of him in the gym and lifting. Ok he will call to me and brag about how much he lifted, about his workout supplements, about how men AND woman will come up to him (he says LOL) in and out of the gym and how they brag on him and what they say to him and talk about how "strong" they say he is and so on and so forth!! Any little bt of attention this guy gets he just eats it up!!!! And he will call me, no matter the time or how many times it takes for me to answer the phone) to report back to me about it!!! Besides the gym/workout thing, he's always been a "run tell me what so and so just said to/about me" kind of person!! Like he has to report to me any time someone says anything to him. It's always the stuff to make him look good though LOL!! NEVER anything bad or negative it's always something to make me think people brag on him all the time!! Which I don't believe 1/2 of what I hear from him, habitual liar you know!! I guess where I never brag on him (and we're not together and haven't been for 2 years so why should I!!!!) he feels the compulsion to tell me straight away when anyone does. More example on that below!

Another thing, since he is Black, he brags on black celebs/actors/rappers/athelets/President. It's always been about the Blacks with him!! Like us White Folk aren't successful, wealthy talented too?!?! Never mentions or compliments on that, only about how much the Black folk make and who's on top and top earner and such. His obsessions are: Obama, Jay Z, Puff Daddy, Tiger Woods, Lebron James & Oprah. I really don't wanna hear about it or care to know!! Like he talks about how much they make, are worth, the lattest deals they get paid, who's #1, who's the top earner......down to the DOLLAR!!!

Just last week he wanted to come down and spend the weekend with me and the kids. He lives in NC so he never sees them so I didn't want to really but I said whatever. His mom is deceased and his dad he never knew so he has no concept of a family or a family life. Well when he was here he just had to wake up and hit the gym both mornings. All I heard was bragging going on (he says) from people there. Oh someone said " to be so small man you are STRONG!!!" then another apparently said " man you look 19 they ain't no way you're 36!!!". So I said "well honey if you look 19 I bet I look like I'm 12 without no makeup on!!" So this is the kind of stuff I heard when he'd come back from the gym. So while he was doing his boasting I just let him ramble on and wouldn't feed into it. Like I said, he would always call me to tell me this shit so it's nothing new, I am used to it. I change the subject or don't say anything at all. And later he asks me who I think the top Entertainer of this year is. Hell I don't know! So I said Lady GaGa, Kim Kardashian, Jay Z, Lil' Wayne??? No he said is was Dr. Dre. I said ok how's that?! Well he goes on to tell me how Dre is a prducer now and has those beats things....headphones?? And then quoted me a figure on how much he earned this year! Like he's got the salaries of these Black celenbs memorized and will qoute me about it right on the spot! Especially if say something about a Black person, he comes back with how wealthy/famous/successful they are! And he took it a step further that night too when he gets on my computer and starts looking up images of Lebron James Mansion and sitting there starting at it! I swear to God!! We were sitting on the couch and I thought he turned into a damn statue or fell asleep or something!! He was dead still just staring at those pictures!! I was playing with my son so I just let him have his moment LOL!!

It is a constant thing with him to the point of being self-obsessed and Black celeb-obsessed! BOTH are which TOTAL TURN OFFS!!!!! He drives it into the damn ground! I've got to the point to where I have nothing in common with him (I see that now and as explained above you know why) he's a deadbeat dirtbag horrible excuse for a father or boyfriend. He is pussy crazy and would chase a piece to the ends of the earth if he knew he would get it instead of making time for his kids. Which by the way is what he was trying to do while I was delivering our baby instead of being at the hospital with me in my time! He is a 36 year old man who has 4 kids with 3 different woman (maybe more who knows) and has been living with his best friend and his wife and daughter for a year now. He did have a good job working for the Railroad for almost 2 years and just recently quit that. I believe he got fired but I'll never know the truth so oh well! Now he drives a truch only part time! And he always gets on Facebook posting pictures and rambling on about how much "swagg" he has and about how others want to be like him! Yeah ok, real men strive to have 4 kids, not be a father to any of them, live in a different state, have a part time job, live with your friend and his family and have to share a bathroom with a little girl LOL!!!!! Yeah man that's some hard core "swagg" shit right there!! Watch out now!!

I know there is something mentally off about this guy. The older he gets the more worse he gets!!! I thought for sure he would grow out of it by now and be a mature man!!! HELL NO!!!! I took Psychology, Sociology and Human Relations to know this man ain't right in the head!! I have 4 college degrees and enough sense to know better to ever get involved with him (he had 2 kids, a wife who he was separated from and a criminal past) but you can't help who you fall in love with and I was young and it was my first relationship and I never thought it would go on far or have 2 kids from it!! So having had told him all that stuff above he started screaming at me over the phone on Tuesday. Like voice was getting high like a female and shit! Because he called to brag that Michelle Obamo was closeby so I was like so??!?!?! Then proceeds to tell me about Chris Rock's mom was there too (he lives in Charlotte when that thing was going on last week) and again I was like YEAH AND......!?!?! Everbody has a mom!!!! So he goes on again and is like "you know that movie Armageddon" Yeah ok....I thought he was gonna tell me some good shit like he met Bruce Willis or something! He goes on to tell me like some extra or bit player that was in it was also down there that day!!! Like WTH do I care man!!!! So I stopped him right there and shut his ass down and told it how it was and about how weird he is and that's when he started screaming at me, trying to defend himself, he said I was hard to communicate with!! I said damn we have 2 kids together talk to me about something I can relate to!!!! Ask about how our daughter likes school, how's she doing, are the kids ok, do they need anything!!!!!! Talk about good positive things!!Stuff like that!!! And I told him don't talk to me about no damn Black celebrities when you'll never have any of that fame or money and I won't either! Get your damn head out of your ass and come back down to Earth! Worry about your own damn finances and getting a damn place of your own!!!! I think he is sooooooo JEALOUS with those people because he knows he will NEVER have that lifestyle, that fame or $$$$!!! And it eats him up!!!!! That's why he fantasizes about it!! He gets so excited like a little girl when he talks about what all I mentioned above and when someone says something to him! Oh honey and he does it all with a straight face too LOL!!

Ok I've wrote a lot!!! What do think about all this? Normal or no??? Have you had any experiences with what I mention above? Any friends or significant others like so conceited and stuck on themselves?? Anybody celeb obsessed?? How do you handle a person like this? Especially since this is not who you are or what you care about it? Do you think it needs counseling? I haven't talked to him since this convo 5 days ago. It escalated to where he was screaming at me like a woman because I called him out on his shit and him trying to make me think he's normal, that he mashed a button down on his phone for 20 seconds while I was trying to talk before I finally hung up on him. I mean come on dude, you're like almost 40 years old? Such a sad pathetic little man he is! He's been ringing my home and cell phone off the hook since then. Are you self absorbed or celeb obsessed? Thanks for reading! I would appreciate your thoughts and comments about everyhting smile!

PS--I don't know if this a Black thing......or a man thing.....or ????

I just had to highlight all the stuff that really made me LOL. Looks like he's a helpless case. You would have to re-consider if you want him out of your life for good, and the consequences with your kids. I don't think such an unstable men to have around is a good idea. His self esteem is extremely low. I kinda feel sorry for him too.

Prince I will always miss and love U.
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Reply #9 posted 09/09/12 11:19am

RenHoek

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moderator

Upon reflection I have come to realize...

boogie THIS SHIT IS GOLD!!!! boogie

There's GOT to be a sitcom in this somewhere... Maybe a Lifetime movie?? hmmm

"And he took it a step further that night too when he gets on my computer and starts looking up images of Lebron James Mansion and sitting there starting at it! I swear to God!! We were sitting on the couch and I thought he turned into a damn statue or fell asleep or something!! He was dead still just staring at those pictures!! I was playing with my son so I just let him have his moment LOL!!"

this scene alone is popcorn

A working class Hero is something to be ~ Lennon
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Reply #10 posted 09/09/12 11:48am

jfrost

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Not wanting to sound cruel...which means you'll probably be hurt by it.....But I actually think your children are more mature then the two of you's together.

You both are a pair of kids, both self involved...you are here writting about your problem asking is this guy useless....it just shows how useless you are if you need a bunch of strangers only hearing one side of the story to give an answer you want to hear.

The fact you wonder if it is a Black thing leads me to believe the only reason you were with this clown was to put out your parents.

Grow the FUCK Up.

This man has a bunch of kids to abunch of women is only cause you and the other women are bed-sitting the fucker with bonuses.

so Once again Grow the FUCK UP.

so get off this page and go spend quality and proper time with your kids and be an adult!!!

The right to free discussion is protected!!
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Reply #11 posted 09/09/12 12:00pm

Stymie

How much of this shit is on you?

He has four kids by three different women. You knew this and you got with him anyway. If it wasn't a problem then, why is it a problem now? He was trifling before he got with you ? Did you expect him to change?

And all tat shit you posted about it being a black thing is just fucked up. The wo of you sound perfect for each other.
[Edited 9/9/12 12:02pm]
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Reply #12 posted 09/09/12 12:56pm

Neophyte

DaVanity said:

Ok guys and girls! Have you ever been with someone (dating/marrid/friends) who are any of these things.

Celeb obsessed

Stuck on themselves (as in they think they aer hot shit and brag about themselves to you constantly)

Talk about how much celebs/athletes/rappers make down to the $$

This guy, my baby daddy, is all of the above. To the point that it is not normal and passing into obessive territoty. I've known him for 10 years and I noticed it about him after we starting dating. Then it got more and more often. We've had an on/off relationship and have been more "off" than "on". We have not lived together since the last time 2 years ago. We have 2 kids together and instead of having conversations and questions about them as a normal caring attentive father would do, he's all up celebrities and his own ass! This is a 36 year old black man mind you. Some great examples of his self-absorbed behavior that has been going on for years include but are not limited too:

For a few years he is on this extreme workout fitness health kick shit. He brags on this to me and about it on Facebook. Posting self pics of him in the gym and lifting. Ok he will call to me and brag about how much he lifted, about his workout supplements, about how men AND woman will come up to him (he says LOL) in and out of the gym and how they brag on him and what they say to him and talk about how "strong" they say he is and so on and so forth!! Any little bt of attention this guy gets he just eats it up!!!! And he will call me, no matter the time or how many times it takes for me to answer the phone) to report back to me about it!!! Besides the gym/workout thing, he's always been a "run tell me what so and so just said to/about me" kind of person!! Like he has to report to me any time someone says anything to him. It's always the stuff to make him look good though LOL!! NEVER anything bad or negative it's always something to make me think people brag on him all the time!! Which I don't believe 1/2 of what I hear from him, habitual liar you know!! I guess where I never brag on him (and we're not together and haven't been for 2 years so why should I!!!!) he feels the compulsion to tell me straight away when anyone does. More example on that below!

Another thing, since he is Black, he brags on black celebs/actors/rappers/athelets/President. It's always been about the Blacks with him!! Like us White Folk aren't successful, wealthy talented too?!?! Never mentions or compliments on that, only about how much the Black folk make and who's on top and top earner and such. His obsessions are: Obama, Jay Z, Puff Daddy, Tiger Woods, Lebron James & Oprah. I really don't wanna hear about it or care to know!! Like he talks about how much they make, are worth, the lattest deals they get paid, who's #1, who's the top earner......down to the DOLLAR!!!

Just last week he wanted to come down and spend the weekend with me and the kids. He lives in NC so he never sees them so I didn't want to really but I said whatever. His mom is deceased and his dad he never knew so he has no concept of a family or a family life. Well when he was here he just had to wake up and hit the gym both mornings. All I heard was bragging going on (he says) from people there. Oh someone said " to be so small man you are STRONG!!!" then another apparently said " man you look 19 they ain't no way you're 36!!!". So I said "well honey if you look 19 I bet I look like I'm 12 without no makeup on!!" So this is the kind of stuff I heard when he'd come back from the gym. So while he was doing his boasting I just let him ramble on and wouldn't feed into it. Like I said, he would always call me to tell me this shit so it's nothing new, I am used to it. I change the subject or don't say anything at all. And later he asks me who I think the top Entertainer of this year is. Hell I don't know! So I said Lady GaGa, Kim Kardashian, Jay Z, Lil' Wayne??? No he said is was Dr. Dre. I said ok how's that?! Well he goes on to tell me how Dre is a prducer now and has those beats things....headphones?? And then quoted me a figure on how much he earned this year! Like he's got the salaries of these Black celenbs memorized and will qoute me about it right on the spot! Especially if say something about a Black person, he comes back with how wealthy/famous/successful they are! And he took it a step further that night too when he gets on my computer and starts looking up images of Lebron James Mansion and sitting there starting at it! I swear to God!! We were sitting on the couch and I thought he turned into a damn statue or fell asleep or something!! He was dead still just staring at those pictures!! I was playing with my son so I just let him have his moment LOL!!

It is a constant thing with him to the point of being self-obsessed and Black celeb-obsessed! BOTH are which TOTAL TURN OFFS!!!!! He drives it into the damn ground! I've got to the point to where I have nothing in common with him (I see that now and as explained above you know why) he's a deadbeat dirtbag horrible excuse for a father or boyfriend. He is pussy crazy and would chase a piece to the ends of the earth if he knew he would get it instead of making time for his kids. Which by the way is what he was trying to do while I was delivering our baby instead of being at the hospital with me in my time! He is a 36 year old man who has 4 kids with 3 different woman (maybe more who knows) and has been living with his best friend and his wife and daughter for a year now. He did have a good job working for the Railroad for almost 2 years and just recently quit that. I believe he got fired but I'll never know the truth so oh well! Now he drives a truch only part time! And he always gets on Facebook posting pictures and rambling on about how much "swagg" he has and about how others want to be like him! Yeah ok, real men strive to have 4 kids, not be a father to any of them, live in a different state, have a part time job, live with your friend and his family and have to share a bathroom with a little girl LOL!!!!! Yeah man that's some hard core "swagg" shit right there!! Watch out now!!

I know there is something mentally off about this guy. The older he gets the more worse he gets!!! I thought for sure he would grow out of it by now and be a mature man!!! HELL NO!!!! I took Psychology, Sociology and Human Relations to know this man ain't right in the head!! I have 4 college degrees and enough sense to know better to ever get involved with him (he had 2 kids, a wife who he was separated from and a criminal past) but you can't help who you fall in love with and I was young and it was my first relationship and I never thought it would go on far or have 2 kids from it!! So having had told him all that stuff above he started screaming at me over the phone on Tuesday. Like voice was getting high like a female and shit! Because he called to brag that Michelle Obamo was closeby so I was like so??!?!?! Then proceeds to tell me about Chris Rock's mom was there too (he lives in Charlotte when that thing was going on last week) and again I was like YEAH AND......!?!?! Everbody has a mom!!!! So he goes on again and is like "you know that movie Armageddon" Yeah ok....I thought he was gonna tell me some good shit like he met Bruce Willis or something! He goes on to tell me like some extra or bit player that was in it was also down there that day!!! Like WTH do I care man!!!! So I stopped him right there and shut his ass down and told it how it was and about how weird he is and that's when he started screaming at me, trying to defend himself, he said I was hard to communicate with!! I said damn we have 2 kids together talk to me about something I can relate to!!!! Ask about how our daughter likes school, how's she doing, are the kids ok, do they need anything!!!!!! Talk about good positive things!!Stuff like that!!! And I told him don't talk to me about no damn Black celebrities when you'll never have any of that fame or money and I won't either! Get your damn head out of your ass and come back down to Earth! Worry about your own damn finances and getting a damn place of your own!!!! I think he is sooooooo JEALOUS with those people because he knows he will NEVER have that lifestyle, that fame or $$$$!!! And it eats him up!!!!! That's why he fantasizes about it!! He gets so excited like a little girl when he talks about what all I mentioned above and when someone says something to him! Oh honey and he does it all with a straight face too LOL!!

Ok I've wrote a lot!!! What do think about all this? Normal or no??? Have you had any experiences with what I mention above? Any friends or significant others like so conceited and stuck on themselves?? Anybody celeb obsessed?? How do you handle a person like this? Especially since this is not who you are or what you care about it? Do you think it needs counseling? I haven't talked to him since this convo 5 days ago. It escalated to where he was screaming at me like a woman because I called him out on his shit and him trying to make me think he's normal, that he mashed a button down on his phone for 20 seconds while I was trying to talk before I finally hung up on him. I mean come on dude, you're like almost 40 years old? Such a sad pathetic little man he is! He's been ringing my home and cell phone off the hook since then. Are you self absorbed or celeb obsessed? Thanks for reading! I would appreciate your thoughts and comments about everyhting smile!

PS--I don't know if this a Black thing......or a man thing.....or ????

Okay I didn't read your whole post...cause yeah, you wrote alot but sounds like to you picked a loser and now you have to deal with it.

Oh yeah, and the PS wasn't even necessary; is he the only black person that you know that you felt the need to ask if it's a Black thing. :eyeroll:

"I know that living with u baby, was sometimes hard...but I'm willing 2 give it another try.
Cause nothing compares....nothing compares 2 u!"
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Reply #13 posted 09/09/12 1:37pm

RicoN

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short man syndrome

Hamburger, Hot Dog, Root Beer, Pussy
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Reply #14 posted 09/09/12 6:28pm

luv4u

Moderator

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moderator

paintedlady said:

Why'd you pick him? hmm 'Cause he was fione? Girl you shouldda seen that mess coming a mile away... those red flags were waving when you met him and you ignored them. There is no way all this is brand new.

Oh, and that's NOT a "black" thing or a "man" thing... its a self/celebrity obsessed thing.

Just focus on your children's needs and leave that hot mess of a man alone.

lol comfort

[Edited 9/8/12 20:47pm]

yeahthat

Edmonton, AB - canada
Mod Goddess of the SNIP & BAN Making Moves - OF4S
Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture!
REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince
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Reply #15 posted 09/09/12 10:16pm

PurpleJedi

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luv4u said:

paintedlady said:

Why'd you pick him? hmm 'Cause he was fione? Girl you shouldda seen that mess coming a mile away... those red flags were waving when you met him and you ignored them. There is no way all this is brand new.

Oh, and that's NOT a "black" thing or a "man" thing... its a self/celebrity obsessed thing.

Just focus on your children's needs and leave that hot mess of a man alone.

lol comfort

[Edited 9/8/12 20:47pm]

yeahthat

nod

Can't go wrong listening to Paintedlady.

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #16 posted 09/10/12 5:39pm

Ace

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[img:$uid]http://i601.photobucket.com/albums/tt94/Fan_since_79/catmonitortldr.png[/img:$uid]

"Acceptance, forgiveness, and love."
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Reply #17 posted 09/19/12 4:15am

Flow

LOL Da Resentments DaVanity said:

Ok guys and girls! Have you ever been with someone (dating/marrid/friends) who are any of these things.

Celeb obsessed

Stuck on themselves (as in they think they aer hot shit and brag about themselves to you constantly)

Talk about how much celebs/athletes/rappers make down to the $$

This guy, my baby daddy, is all of the above. To the point that it is not normal and passing into obessive territoty. I've known him for 10 years and I noticed it about him after we starting dating. Then it got more and more often. We've had an on/off relationship and have been more "off" than "on". We have not lived together since the last time 2 years ago. We have 2 kids together and instead of having conversations and questions about them as a normal caring attentive father would do, he's all up celebrities and his own ass! This is a 36 year old black man mind you. Some great examples of his self-absorbed behavior that has been going on for years include but are not limited too:

For a few years he is on this extreme workout fitness health kick shit. He brags on this to me and about it on Facebook. Posting self pics of him in the gym and lifting. Ok he will call to me and brag about how much he lifted, about his workout supplements, about how men AND woman will come up to him (he says LOL) in and out of the gym and how they brag on him and what they say to him and talk about how "strong" they say he is and so on and so forth!! Any little bt of attention this guy gets he just eats it up!!!! And he will call me, no matter the time or how many times it takes for me to answer the phone) to report back to me about it!!! Besides the gym/workout thing, he's always been a "run tell me what so and so just said to/about me" kind of person!! Like he has to report to me any time someone says anything to him. It's always the stuff to make him look good though LOL!! NEVER anything bad or negative it's always something to make me think people brag on him all the time!! Which I don't believe 1/2 of what I hear from him, habitual liar you know!! I guess where I never brag on him (and we're not together and haven't been for 2 years so why should I!!!!) he feels the compulsion to tell me straight away when anyone does. More example on that below!

Another thing, since he is Black, he brags on black celebs/actors/rappers/athelets/President. It's always been about the Blacks with him!! Like us White Folk aren't successful, wealthy talented too?!?! Never mentions or compliments on that, only about how much the Black folk make and who's on top and top earner and such. His obsessions are: Obama, Jay Z, Puff Daddy, Tiger Woods, Lebron James & Oprah. I really don't wanna hear about it or care to know!! Like he talks about how much they make, are worth, the lattest deals they get paid, who's #1, who's the top earner......down to the DOLLAR!!!

Just last week he wanted to come down and spend the weekend with me and the kids. He lives in NC so he never sees them so I didn't want to really but I said whatever. His mom is deceased and his dad he never knew so he has no concept of a family or a family life. Well when he was here he just had to wake up and hit the gym both mornings. All I heard was bragging going on (he says) from people there. Oh someone said " to be so small man you are STRONG!!!" then another apparently said " man you look 19 they ain't no way you're 36!!!". So I said "well honey if you look 19 I bet I look like I'm 12 without no makeup on!!" So this is the kind of stuff I heard when he'd come back from the gym. So while he was doing his boasting I just let him ramble on and wouldn't feed into it. Like I said, he would always call me to tell me this shit so it's nothing new, I am used to it. I change the subject or don't say anything at all. And later he asks me who I think the top Entertainer of this year is. Hell I don't know! So I said Lady GaGa, Kim Kardashian, Jay Z, Lil' Wayne??? No he said is was Dr. Dre. I said ok how's that?! Well he goes on to tell me how Dre is a prducer now and has those beats things....headphones?? And then quoted me a figure on how much he earned this year! Like he's got the salaries of these Black celenbs memorized and will qoute me about it right on the spot! Especially if say something about a Black person, he comes back with how wealthy/famous/successful they are! And he took it a step further that night too when he gets on my computer and starts looking up images of Lebron James Mansion and sitting there starting at it! I swear to God!! We were sitting on the couch and I thought he turned into a damn statue or fell asleep or something!! He was dead still just staring at those pictures!! I was playing with my son so I just let him have his moment LOL!!

It is a constant thing with him to the point of being self-obsessed and Black celeb-obsessed! BOTH are which TOTAL TURN OFFS!!!!! He drives it into the damn ground! I've got to the point to where I have nothing in common with him (I see that now and as explained above you know why) he's a deadbeat dirtbag horrible excuse for a father or boyfriend. He is pussy crazy and would chase a piece to the ends of the earth if he knew he would get it instead of making time for his kids. Which by the way is what he was trying to do while I was delivering our baby instead of being at the hospital with me in my time! He is a 36 year old man who has 4 kids with 3 different woman (maybe more who knows) and has been living with his best friend and his wife and daughter for a year now. He did have a good job working for the Railroad for almost 2 years and just recently quit that. I believe he got fired but I'll never know the truth so oh well! Now he drives a truch only part time! And he always gets on Facebook posting pictures and rambling on about how much "swagg" he has and about how others want to be like him! Yeah ok, real men strive to have 4 kids, not be a father to any of them, live in a different state, have a part time job, live with your friend and his family and have to share a bathroom with a little girl LOL!!!!! Yeah man that's some hard core "swagg" shit right there!! Watch out now!!

I know there is something mentally off about this guy. The older he gets the more worse he gets!!! I thought for sure he would grow out of it by now and be a mature man!!! HELL NO!!!! I took Psychology, Sociology and Human Relations to know this man ain't right in the head!! I have 4 college degrees and enough sense to know better to ever get involved with him (he had 2 kids, a wife who he was separated from and a criminal past) but you can't help who you fall in love with and I was young and it was my first relationship and I never thought it would go on far or have 2 kids from it!! So having had told him all that stuff above he started screaming at me over the phone on Tuesday. Like voice was getting high like a female and shit! Because he called to brag that Michelle Obamo was closeby so I was like so??!?!?! Then proceeds to tell me about Chris Rock's mom was there too (he lives in Charlotte when that thing was going on last week) and again I was like YEAH AND......!?!?! Everbody has a mom!!!! So he goes on again and is like "you know that movie Armageddon" Yeah ok....I thought he was gonna tell me some good shit like he met Bruce Willis or something! He goes on to tell me like some extra or bit player that was in it was also down there that day!!! Like WTH do I care man!!!! So I stopped him right there and shut his ass down and told it how it was and about how weird he is and that's when he started screaming at me, trying to defend himself, he said I was hard to communicate with!! I said damn we have 2 kids together talk to me about something I can relate to!!!! Ask about how our daughter likes school, how's she doing, are the kids ok, do they need anything!!!!!! Talk about good positive things!!Stuff like that!!! And I told him don't talk to me about no damn Black celebrities when you'll never have any of that fame or money and I won't either! Get your damn head out of your ass and come back down to Earth! Worry about your own damn finances and getting a damn place of your own!!!! I think he is sooooooo JEALOUS with those people because he knows he will NEVER have that lifestyle, that fame or $$$$!!! And it eats him up!!!!! That's why he fantasizes about it!! He gets so excited like a little girl when he talks about what all I mentioned above and when someone says something to him! Oh honey and he does it all with a straight face too LOL!!

Ok I've wrote a lot!!! What do think about all this? Normal or no??? Have you had any experiences with what I mention above? Any friends or significant others like so conceited and stuck on themselves?? Anybody celeb obsessed?? How do you handle a person like this? Especially since this is not who you are or what you care about it? Do you think it needs counseling? I haven't talked to him since this convo 5 days ago. It escalated to where he was screaming at me like a woman because I called him out on his shit and him trying to make me think he's normal, that he mashed a button down on his phone for 20 seconds while I was trying to talk before I finally hung up on him. I mean come on dude, you're like almost 40 years old? Such a sad pathetic little man he is! He's been ringing my home and cell phone off the hook since then. Are you self absorbed or celeb obsessed? Thanks for reading! I would appreciate your thoughts and comments about everyhting smile!

PS--I don't know if this a Black thing......or a man thing.....or ????

HueMan
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Reply #18 posted 09/19/12 1:00pm

Ottensen

Neophyte said:

DaVanity said:

Ok guys and girls! Have you ever been with someone (dating/marrid/friends) who are any of these things.

Celeb obsessed

Stuck on themselves (as in they think they aer hot shit and brag about themselves to you constantly)

Talk about how much celebs/athletes/rappers make down to the $$

This guy, my baby daddy, is all of the above.

blahblah

I know there is something mentally off about this guy. The older he gets the more worse he gets!!! I thought for sure he would grow out of it by now and be a mature man!!! HELL NO!!!! I took Psychology, Sociology and Human Relations to know this man ain't right in the head!! I have 4 college degrees and enough sense to know better to ever get involved with him (he had 2 kids, a wife who he was separated from and a criminal past) but you can't help who you fall in love with and I was young and it was my first relationship and I never thought it would go on far or have 2 kids from it!!

blahblah

Okay I didn't read your whole post...cause yeah, you wrote alot but sounds like to you picked a loser and now you have to deal with it. DITTO.

Oh yeah, and the PS wasn't even necessary; is he the only black person that you know that you felt the need to ask if it's a Black thing. :eyeroll:

With all due respect you have four college degrees, studies under your belt in Psychology, Sociology and Human Relations, and apparently not an iota of common sense neutral .

1. Please know that whether or not you have a realtionship with a man is ALWAYS a choice. ALWAYS.

2. Please know that in life, you attract what you are: if you weren't aware of that when you were younger, then fine- cause it happens to the best of us, but at this point in the game you need to have clarity, focus, and a sense of purpose in your life, and who you choose to be part of your life journey should reflect that and enrich what is there rather than detract from it.

3. For everything that you've written about your "babydaddy" (and I cannot express enough how much I absolutely abhor that term because it takes away from the sense of seriousness involved with bringing a child into the world) you don't exactly sound as if you've figured yourself out all to well, either. Instead of seeking advice here in the GD forum of a pop music board, it might be more beneficial and more productive for you to seek professional help from a life coach, or put your familiarity with Psychology and Human Relations to work in finding an analyst/psychologist to help you figure out why you're making these poor choices, and more importantly, how to stop.

Sorry, but that's all I got.

I really do wish you the best while you are on this journey to get to a better place. It is my hope that along the way you will find the clarity and sense of purpose that I mentioned earlier, as well as strength that will eventually get you to the point of having that peace which surpasses all understanding. But until you get going with all of that, perhaps begin by asking yourself honestly, "What kind of life do I want for myself? What do the people look like who are part of that life?" - then after that, from here on out take responsibility for your own choices in the scenarios that make up your life, and get to work with cleaning your house accordingly. butterfly

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