CarrieMpls said:

I've never stayed in a relationship where the sex wasn't good.

That said, sex certainly isn't the only thing that will make a marriage work. You can have great sex but a not so great relationship.

Amen to that. Sex isn't the only factor in a good marriage, but why would anyone stay married to a boring bed partner?

dseann said:

CarrieMpls said:

I've never stayed in a relationship where the sex wasn't good.

That said, sex certainly isn't the only thing that will make a marriage work. You can have great sex but a not so great relationship.

Amen to that. Sex isn't the only factor in a good marriage, but why would anyone stay married to a boring bed partner?

Because sex is not that important to some people?

Stymie said:

dseann said:

Amen to that. Sex isn't the only factor in a good marriage, but why would anyone stay married to a boring bed partner?

Because sex is not that important to some people?

I’d like to add, I wouldn’t divorce someone because of sex either.

When you’re at the (beginning) stages of a relationship where you’re figuring out if you want it to go long term or not, sex is a huge part of the equation. I wouldn’t make a long term commitment with someone who had vastly different ideas about sex than me and/or if the chemistry just never worked. And that’s what I was talking about.

I know you can’t know EVERYthing about how life will grow and change with your partner, but you can do your best to talk through what’s important to you and what’s not and how you’d like to handle stuff in the future. Once you’ve made the commitment, then you do your damndest to make it work and have faith your partner is willing to do his/her part also.

CarrieMpls said:

Stymie said:

Because sex is not that important to some people?

I’d like to add, I wouldn’t divorce someone because of sex either.

When you’re at the (beginning) stages of a relationship where you’re figuring out if you want it to go long term or not, sex is a huge part of the equation. I wouldn’t make a long term commitment with someone who had vastly different ideas about sex than me and/or if the chemistry just never worked. And that’s what I was talking about.

I know you can’t know EVERYthing about how life will grow and change with your partner, but you can do your best to talk through what’s important to you and what’s not and how you’d like to handle stuff in the future. Once you’ve made the commitment, then you do your damndest to make it work and have faith your partner is willing to do his/her part also.

It's just not to me. Has never been.

BUT, I do get your point.

CarrieMpls said:

Stymie said:

Because sex is not that important to some people?

I’d like to add, I wouldn’t divorce someone because of sex either.

When you’re at the (beginning) stages of a relationship where you’re figuring out if you want it to go long term or not, sex is a huge part of the equation. I wouldn’t make a long term commitment with someone who had vastly different ideas about sex than me and/or if the chemistry just never worked. And that’s what I was talking about.

I know you can’t know EVERYthing about how life will grow and change with your partner, but you can do your best to talk through what’s important to you and what’s not and how you’d like to handle stuff in the future. Once you’ve made the commitment, then you do your damndest to make it work and have faith your partner is willing to do his/her part also.

The problem as I see it is that many women play the old bait and switch game. They act a certain way to land their man, then when they have them on lock down they show their real attitude towards sex which most often does not jive with their dude's attitude.

So now one partner is unhappy sexually but has grown to love their significant other - or the person they pretended to be in some ways.

So should they stay? I don't think it's fair to think they should.

Many men don't leave though, they just get the sex else where.

The whole thing is pretty pathetic, imo.

JustErin said:

CarrieMpls said:

I’d like to add, I wouldn’t divorce someone because of sex either.

When you’re at the (beginning) stages of a relationship where you’re figuring out if you want it to go long term or not, sex is a huge part of the equation. I wouldn’t make a long term commitment with someone who had vastly different ideas about sex than me and/or if the chemistry just never worked. And that’s what I was talking about.

I know you can’t know EVERYthing about how life will grow and change with your partner, but you can do your best to talk through what’s important to you and what’s not and how you’d like to handle stuff in the future. Once you’ve made the commitment, then you do your damndest to make it work and have faith your partner is willing to do his/her part also.

The problem as I see it is that many women play the old bait and switch game. They act a certain way to land their man, then when they have them on lock down they show their real attitude towards sex which most often does not jive with their dude's attitude.

So now one partner is unhappy sexually but has grown to love their significant other - or the person they pretended to be in some ways.

So should they stay? I don't think it's fair to think they should.

Many men don't leave though, they just get the sex else where.

The whole thing is pretty pathetic, imo.

I think they should work it out together. And if they can't, then yes, they should separate. That's true of any bait and switch scenario, whether sex or something else.

This seems like a problem of people getting married too young. Or wanting to "be married" more than wanting who you're with.

CarrieMpls said:

JustErin said:

The problem as I see it is that many women play the old bait and switch game. They act a certain way to land their man, then when they have them on lock down they show their real attitude towards sex which most often does not jive with their dude's attitude.

So now one partner is unhappy sexually but has grown to love their significant other - or the person they pretended to be in some ways.

So should they stay? I don't think it's fair to think they should.

Many men don't leave though, they just get the sex else where.

The whole thing is pretty pathetic, imo.

I think they should work it out together. And if they can't, then yes, they should separate. That's true of any bait and switch scenario, whether sex or something else.

This seems like a problem of people getting married too young. Or wanting to "be married" more than wanting who you're with.

From what I've seen I don't think it's a case of being married too young because more and more people are waiting to get married.

It's simply about not being your true self when trying to attract a partner.

paisleypark4 said:

How do I tell my partner to do more in bed instead of just laying there and jacking off while I do all the work?

"do more in bed instead of just laying there and jacking off while I do all the work"

JustErin said:

paisleypark4 said:

How do I tell my partner to do more in bed instead of just laying there and jacking off while I do all the work?

"do more in bed instead of just laying there and jacking off while I do all the work"

JustErin said:

paisleypark4 said:

JustErin said:

"do more in bed instead of just laying there and jacking off while I do all the work"

Lol but seriously tho

Sounds like a good answer to me, seriously

paisleypark4 said:

JustErin said:

"do more in bed instead of just laying there and jacking off while I do all the work"

Lol but seriously tho

It's true though. Just express what you would like sex-wise, and also don't be afraid to express your dislikes when it comes to sex.

yup, let it be known..

paisleypark4 said:

JustErin said:

"do more in bed instead of just laying there and jacking off while I do all the work"

Lol but seriously tho

What she said!

What's the problem?

Pussy don't fail me now...

I don't know what the hell I was trying to say lol

[Edited 9/23/12 13:29pm]

[Edited 9/23/12 13:29pm]

Stymie said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Yes. Without great sex you might as well be friends.

You should be friends anyway.

1st and foremost !

NO.

I used to consistently blow my wife's back the fuck out when she

was simply my girl. Now that we're married, we fight like we never

knew love like this before....

PunkMistress said:

paisleypark4 said:

JustErin said: Lol but seriously tho

What she said!

What's the problem?

Well I got used to him just being the bottom and all, but now he dont suck my dick anymore..and he never really used to suck my neck or my nipples or anything uless I tell him to do it. Now its like....id rather just fuck him, get our rocks off..no kissing or anything anymore just, gimme the ass and I'm good. Guess after five years it just got to be routine. I don't even feel like I need to have sex anymore its just one of the things on the list to do at least two times a week.

[Edited 9/23/12 17:21pm]

Yes.

I think sex is very important early on in any relationship...

But... I think as time passes... things might change because life gets in the way...

There's always that initial chemistry though...

I mean... you can't build a relationship on sexual chemistry alone. However, you can't have a really strong relationship without sexual chemistry.. if that makes any sense?

I think to have a strong relationship... there has to be both.

no .. shallow ppl l say yes

I'll tell you this:

If you don't have sex, you aren't going to have a great marriage.

RodeoSchro said:

I'll tell you this:

If you don't have sex, you aren't going to have a great marriage.

Do you really believe this Greg? What of couples that can't have sex?

Stymie said:

RodeoSchro said:

I'll tell you this:

If you don't have sex, you aren't going to have a great marriage.

Do you really believe this Greg? What of couples that can't have sex?

In my opinion life / relationships aren't that black or white, shades of grey abound.

However....

As long as a couple can agree the level of their sexual desire or the lack thereof is OK, than it's a moot topic. The problem comes when one partner isn't getting what they need and/or desire. It's my observation more people fall into the latter group rather than the former. I think what Greg is saying, a sexless marriage is a more vulnerable marriage, I'd agree.

==================

[Edited 9/28/12 5:15am]

RodeoSchro said:

I'll tell you this:

If you don't have sex, you aren't going to have a great marriage.

I take it you don't know any lesbian couples.

PunkMistress said:

RodeoSchro said:

I'll tell you this:

If you don't have sex, you aren't going to have a great marriage.

I take it you don't know any lesbian couples.

You know lesbian couples who don't have sex???????????

If so, I'm sure they have a good marriage, but not great.

SynthiaRose said:

PunkMistress said:

I take it you don't know any lesbian couples.

You know lesbian couples who don't have sex???????????

If so, I'm sure they have a good marriage, but not great.

Have you ever heard of LBD (not little black dress)?

PunkMistress said:

SynthiaRose said:

You know lesbian couples who don't have sex???????????

If so, I'm sure they have a good marriage, but not great.

Have you ever heard of LBD (not little black dress)?

No. At least not by the acronym....

SynthiaRose said:

PunkMistress said:

Have you ever heard of LBD (not little black dress)?

No. At least not by the acronym....

It's called Lesbian Bed Death.