Seems simple. Do the right thing. If your child committed a crime then turn them in.

I was looking at something and it struck me as kind of funny. A mom realizing that her son is a violent criminal. Taking the partial blame because she spoiled him, she says he needed to be taught a lesson, therefore she needs to turn him in. The question came to my mind, how is that teaching him a lesson? This "kid" is going to be messed up if he's sent to jail, they are going to eat him alive, there's no lesson here, this is stictly punishment. That would be a horrible decision for a parent to make facing it truthfully, knowing that decision would more than likely further damage their own child forever. What do you really do? What would be the mental process?

*******This is not a problem I or anyone I know is having, this is strictly hypothetical*******

My kids know they'd better not screw up...

because if they did... straight to jail!

heck, I am on top of thangs. I will not allow homework missed let alone deal with a kid dropping outta school or skipping school or drug use.

I do not allow siblings to argue or fight in anyway... I teach my kids compassion at home and compliment them often and hug them up. I am kind to my children yet extremely strict with the rules of good behavior so that my children are kind to others.

Kindness is a strenght to me and some may think my kids are weak because of it because kids think my kids are easy targets for bullies.

Well, I learned that some parents get off on their kids being tough and some parents like teaching their kids to beat down others because they are miserable POS.

Kindness made me strong, I am teaching my kids how to harness anger in a healthy way and how to turn the tables on miserable bullies that possess the crab in the barrel mentality.

Success is teaching your kids how to not let people screw with them and still be kind and giving to others. Success is teaching your children to rise above any adversity by standing firm yet also knowing when to compromise to come to a good solution if a problem arises.

Balance is key and I teach my kids what is important. I tell them "NO". They understand life isn't fair, yet I do my best to keep them happy and teach them what is important and how to know what isn't that important. I teach them to believe and teach them to be better than me. It is what I will leave this world and I need make sure I leave something good.

In this day and age there is so much information available yet people seem to get dumber.

People are more focused on things they can get rather than appreciating things they already have.

People focus on going new places across the world yet don't even speak to their neighbors.

People are crazy to blame other for the failures of their own children, parents need to get honest with themselves, wake up and become accountable for all the bad they do to their children.

OK... rant over.

I want to say yes, but I'm not sure.

I think if they were a good person, and made a mistake that didn't harm anybody, I would not do it. For example, they I found they're taking ecstacy or perhaps stold something from a department store.

It also depends on their age, I guess.

But, I want to say yes.

And the reason why I can't say yes unequivicably, is because anytime you see court trials for crimes, the families are always sticking behind the perpetrator--I'm sure they would have said yes prior to this.

imago said:

And the reason why I can't say yes unequivicably, is because anytime you see court trials for crimes, the families are always sticking behind the perpetrator--I'm sure they would have said yes prior to this.

I think why families do that is because they knew they could have done more to prevent that downfall with their kid and now want to help pick up the pieces and try a re-do of some sort.

Its more guilt than anything.

Turn in your kids if they're criminals!

Have you ever watched an episode of the First 48?

I've seen 16 year old girls who aid and abet their murderer boyfriends.

Dudes who should be worrying about the prom running trap houses.

A teenage girl set up a robbery that resulted in a murder.

Some kids don't know right from wrong and jail is where they need to be.

Tough love can sometimes turn a wild kid into a responsible adult.

Even growing up in Brooklyn there were a few dudes in my old neighborhood that couldn't stay on the right side of the law. Most of them are dead now.

[Edited 6/27/12 6:45am]

morningsong said:

Seems simple. Do the right thing. If your child committed a crime then turn them in.

I was looking at something and it struck me as kind of funny. A mom realizing that her son is a violent criminal. Taking the partial blame because she spoiled him, she says he needed to be taught a lesson, therefore she needs to turn him in. The question came to my mind, how is that teaching him a lesson? This "kid" is going to be messed up if he's sent to jail, they are going to eat him alive, there's no lesson here, this is stictly punishment. That would be a horrible decision for a parent to make facing it truthfully, knowing that decision would more than likely further damage their own child forever. What do you really do? What would be the mental process?

*******This is not a problem I or anyone I know is having, this is strictly hypothetical*******

the lesson is clear, for all one's actions there are consequinces

and not all consequinces are good. some consequinces are IF YOU DO THE CRIME

YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO THE TIME IF YOU GET THE SHOORT END OF THE STICK

like when your own momma decides to turn you in AND testifie on yo ass

and that goes way deeper than "he bad and it may be kinda my fault"

it goes to the fact that he done pissed her off to the point where she want him gone...

i've said before there are things my own blood can do that will make me

say "FUCK 'EM" qwik fast and in a hurry and it starts with anything where the hurtin of a baby wasn't an accidental thing, or was an ongoin thing. babies can do nothin to protect themselves...

Are you giving me the option?!?

I'm going to be REAL honest and say it would depend on the crime.

Cerebus did a lot of dirt for a good number of years. Nearly all of the people Cerebus ran with are dead or in prison. Cerebus never got caught, and Cerebus is absolutely, 100% certain that his mother and sister know about some "stuff" that would have landed him in jail, if not prison. However, after meeting the right people and getting his shit together, Cerebus turned out to be a pretty normal member of society. Anti-social, yes, but not a criminal.

So, it would depend on the crime. If it involved rape, or any other kind of sexual assault, or murder, yes, I would turn them in. But if was something less than that, if I felt like a good kick in the ass, some constant attention and endless discussions could turn the kid around, probably not.

Thankfully, Cerebus ain't havin' no damn kids!

Cerebus said:

I'm going to be REAL honest and say it would depend on the crime.

Cerebus did a lot of dirt for a good number of years. Nearly all of the people Cerebus ran with are dead or in prison. Cerebus never got caught, and Cerebus is absolutely, 100% certain that his mother and sister know about some "stuff" that would have landed him in jail, if not prison. However, after meeting the right people and getting his shit together, Cerebus turned out to be a pretty normal member of society. Anti-social, yes, but not a criminal.

So, it would depend on the crime. If it involved rape, or any other kind of sexual assault, or murder, yes, I would turn them in. But if was something less than that, if I felt like a good kick in the ass, some constant attention and endless discussions could turn the kid around, probably not.

Thankfully, Cerebus ain't havin' no damn kids!

Congratulations! When does the vow of celibacy start?

Cerebus said:

Tough question.

I agree with those who say it depends on the severity of the crime.

Some parents coddle their kids to death, others force them to become roughnecks.

I'd like to be able to say that I've struck a balance between coddling and being rough...but I can't because in the end I think they're being aggressively coddled due to the current situation.

I like Paintedlady's post.

morningsong said:

*******This is not a problem I or anyone I know is having*******

right...

...

kewlschool said:

Cerebus said:

Thankfully, Cerebus ain't havin' no damn kids!

Congratulations! When does the vow of celibacy start?

The vow of not havin' any damn kids started 27 years ago. It seems to be working. A vow of celibacy? P'shh.

When my son was 17 he was dating a 16 year old girl who in our state was considered a "minor" and he was technically an adult (ridiculous) and when she came home with hickeys on her neck , her bitch ass mama went and filed charges on him. They picked him up and put him in jail, on the sex offenders unit, they locked my baby up with pedophiles! You better believe I did EVERYTHING in my power to get him out and DID get him out three weeks later. It was hard as hell, almost impossible, because they don't grant bond on "sex offenders" which I agree with, but this boy was no sex offender. btw, once he was in jail, she took up with a 19 year old but no one arrested him, even though I brought it to the d.a.'s attn. Anyway, long story short, I had to beg borrow and steal to get him out of jail, hell, I would have slept with his lawyer if I'd had to = anything to get my baby out of locked quarters with GD pedophiles- creepy ass old men- ugh

So we went through years of hell, fighting this case, lost all my saving, etc. he ended up with strict probabtion and huge fines.

BUT- while on probation he got in trouble for drinking under age and you better believe, I didn't turn him in but I did not step in to help him on that- he had to pay his own lawyer, sit in jail for two months (i did not bail him out) because I wanted him to learn the lesson that mama will step in if your being railroaded but if YOU do it, then you pay. And I think he learned his lesson (lets hope, fingers crossed) and it was a huge wake up call for him and I hope, in the end, taught him a valuable lesson. My brother used to get in trouble and my mother always bailed him out no matter what he did and now he's sitting in jail at age 30 and no one wants that for their child so yes, sometimems you might need to turn them in. Just depends.

I don't have any kids but my mother used to tell me all the time....."I didn't raise no trash so if you wanna get out there and act a damn fool, I'll call the police my damn self. You don't believe me? Try me dammitt.".

Today I heard my stephbrother got arrested fordivg without a license, not havig a visa (he's Dutch, s now he's an illegal) and now is in a jail in Cincinati.

Yes, it is his own responsibility, however it's horrble for his family not to know what is going on. we can't contact him.

KingBAD said:

morningsong said:

Seems simple. Do the right thing. If your child committed a crime then turn them in.

I was looking at something and it struck me as kind of funny. A mom realizing that her son is a violent criminal. Taking the partial blame because she spoiled him, she says he needed to be taught a lesson, therefore she needs to turn him in. The question came to my mind, how is that teaching him a lesson? This "kid" is going to be messed up if he's sent to jail, they are going to eat him alive, there's no lesson here, this is stictly punishment. That would be a horrible decision for a parent to make facing it truthfully, knowing that decision would more than likely further damage their own child forever. What do you really do? What would be the mental process?

*******This is not a problem I or anyone I know is having, this is strictly hypothetical*******

the lesson is clear, for all one's actions there are consequinces

and not all consequinces are good. some consequinces are IF YOU DO THE CRIME

YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO THE TIME IF YOU GET THE SHOORT END OF THE STICK

like when your own momma decides to turn you in AND testifie on yo ass

and that goes way deeper than "he bad and it may be kinda my fault"

it goes to the fact that he done pissed her off to the point where she want him gone...

i've said before there are things my own blood can do that will make me

say "FUCK 'EM" qwik fast and in a hurry and it starts with anything where the hurtin of a baby wasn't an accidental thing, or was an ongoin thing. babies can do nothin to protect themselves...

I think when I think lesson I think training, it's something that will overall improve the person even though it caused them some discomfort in learning the lesson. But looking at someone who may have been pampered all their life, having little to no street smarts, sending someone like that to jail I would say it isn't a matter of improving that person. Looking at it as a parent, I see it not as training your child but more or less letting them go, which is why I found "teaching them a lesson" odd sounding.

I can understand a parent who is feed-up with their child, but for something to come out of left field, so to speak, I wouldn't think it would come down to a simple decision of doing the right thing. How do you detach yourself, or do you?

RodeoSchro said:

Are you giving me the option?!?

Yes. There's not much you can do if your child is caught and you have to deal with whatever comes. I'm thinking, you are the only one that knows beyond reasonable doubt and have all the evidence against your own child.

I've always assumed I would, but then I believe I've done at least some of the right things therefore I don't believe I'll ever have to deal with such a thing, my kid would never. Just one of those late night things that struck me as not that cut and dry.

@ Mr JoeTyler

@ laural I feel for you. That took my back to when I was 16 and what my dad found out if the guy had of been older he'd of been under the jail, but he was 17 I think things were slightly different then.

morningsong said:

I've always assumed I would, but then I believe I've done at least some of the right things therefore I don't believe I'll ever have to deal with such a thing, my kid would never. Just one of those late night things that struck me as not that cut and dry.

@ Mr JoeTyler

@ laural I feel for you. That took my back to when I was 16 and what my dad found out if the guy had of been older he'd of been under the jail, but he was 17 I think things were slightly different then.

Thank you

morningsong said:

KingBAD said:

the lesson is clear, for all one's actions there are consequinces

and not all consequinces are good. some consequinces are IF YOU DO THE CRIME

YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO THE TIME IF YOU GET THE SHOORT END OF THE STICK

like when your own momma decides to turn you in AND testifie on yo ass

and that goes way deeper than "he bad and it may be kinda my fault"

it goes to the fact that he done pissed her off to the point where she want him gone...

i've said before there are things my own blood can do that will make me

say "FUCK 'EM" qwik fast and in a hurry and it starts with anything where the hurtin of a baby wasn't an accidental thing, or was an ongoin thing. babies can do nothin to protect themselves...

I think when I think lesson I think training, it's something that will overall improve the person even though it caused them some discomfort in learning the lesson. But looking at someone who may have been pampered all their life, having little to no street smarts, sending someone like that to jail I would say it isn't a matter of improving that person. Looking at it as a parent, I see it not as training your child but more or less letting them go, which is why I found "teaching them a lesson" odd sounding.

I can understand a parent who is feed-up with their child, but for something to come out of left field, so to speak, I wouldn't think it would come down to a simple decision of doing the right thing. How do you detach yourself, or do you?

the 'detachment' came when they let their 'CHILD' just do whut they wanted...

i wouldn't have to worry about my kids bein childabusers, BUT if one of them became one

i could be a citizen of the world and have them killed, WISH THEM KILLED, for their actions.

serial killer is a bit different, i would have to debate the value of those killed to the love of me and mine, AND SORRY!!! there is a high percentage of people i wouldn't give a shit about and would

lay my life down for my child....

so you see, i have my limits to whut i think is JUSTIFIABLE.

the point that i was makin is:

i was raised a crimminal in a crimminal environment

and i was taught that the best thing for a person

who cannot take the pressures of confinement was

to be REALLY REALLY GOOD at whut they did

or have the best atternys available to them....

FAILING EITHER OF THOSE,

be able to do your time.

if you a pussy goin in, you will be a pussy commin out...

so the lessons of prison life are "get better, or stay the fuck out..."

that's one way of makin a better person one way or another.

KingBAD said:

morningsong said:

I think when I think lesson I think training, it's something that will overall improve the person even though it caused them some discomfort in learning the lesson. But looking at someone who may have been pampered all their life, having little to no street smarts, sending someone like that to jail I would say it isn't a matter of improving that person. Looking at it as a parent, I see it not as training your child but more or less letting them go, which is why I found "teaching them a lesson" odd sounding.

I can understand a parent who is feed-up with their child, but for something to come out of left field, so to speak, I wouldn't think it would come down to a simple decision of doing the right thing. How do you detach yourself, or do you?

the 'detachment' came when they let their 'CHILD' just do whut they wanted...

i wouldn't have to worry about my kids bein childabusers, BUT if one of them became one

i could be a citizen of the world and have them killed, WISH THEM KILLED, for their actions.

serial killer is a bit different, i would have to debate the value of those killed to the love of me and mine, AND SORRY!!! there is a high percentage of people i wouldn't give a shit about and would

lay my life down for my child....

so you see, i have my limits to whut i think is JUSTIFIABLE.

the point that i was makin is:

i was raised a crimminal in a crimminal environment

and i was taught that the best thing for a person

who cannot take the pressures of confinement was

to be REALLY REALLY GOOD at whut they did

or have the best atternys available to them....

FAILING EITHER OF THOSE,

be able to do your time.

if you a pussy goin in, you will be a pussy commin out...

so the lessons of prison life are "get better, or stay the fuck out..."

that's one way of makin a better person one way or another.

I think I get what you're saying. It's not so much as "I'm doing this so you can learn a lesson" but "You've crossed a (my) line, and I'm turning my back on you", in a manner of speaking. That's more of what I was wondering, the thought process.

morningsong said:

KingBAD said:

the 'detachment' came when they let their 'CHILD' just do whut they wanted...

i wouldn't have to worry about my kids bein childabusers, BUT if one of them became one

i could be a citizen of the world and have them killed, WISH THEM KILLED, for their actions.

serial killer is a bit different, i would have to debate the value of those killed to the love of me and mine, AND SORRY!!! there is a high percentage of people i wouldn't give a shit about and would

lay my life down for my child....

so you see, i have my limits to whut i think is JUSTIFIABLE.

the point that i was makin is:

i was raised a crimminal in a crimminal environment

and i was taught that the best thing for a person

who cannot take the pressures of confinement was

to be REALLY REALLY GOOD at whut they did

or have the best atternys available to them....

FAILING EITHER OF THOSE,

be able to do your time.

if you a pussy goin in, you will be a pussy commin out...

so the lessons of prison life are "get better, or stay the fuck out..."

that's one way of makin a better person one way or another.

I think I get what you're saying. It's not so much as "I'm doing this so you can learn a lesson" but "You've crossed a (my) line, and I'm turning my back on you", in a manner of speaking. That's more of what I was wondering, the thought process.

at no point have i said 'turnin a back' to them although for some that's whut it is...

ones child is their child. SOME may feel the best way to hide their mistakes come by way of

lettin the prison system take over then no-one has to see their lack of parentin skills.

if i taught my kids to be crimminal nusences and they went to jail, c'est la vie, but i could not in good conscience turn them in.

if i brought them up to be upstandin citizens of this world we live in and the do things against humanitie (of course this is relitive to whut i think that is) i will turn them in... (i.e. to turn terrorist for some religious cause, and kill people and babies in their sleep or bommin a housin complex, or shoot up a school, sell dope to lil kids, etc etc etc. I WILL TURN THEM IN...

even my baby.

but i would only turn my back on them when they are beyond carin...

KingBAD said:

morningsong said:

I think I get what you're saying. It's not so much as "I'm doing this so you can learn a lesson" but "You've crossed a (my) line, and I'm turning my back on you", in a manner of speaking. That's more of what I was wondering, the thought process.

at no point have i said 'turnin a back' to them although for some that's whut it is...

ones child is their child. SOME may feel the best way to hide their mistakes come by way of

lettin the prison system take over then no-one has to see their lack of parentin skills.

if i taught my kids to be crimminal nusences and they went to jail, c'est la vie, but i could not in good conscience turn them in.

if i brought them up to be upstandin citizens of this world we live in and the do things against humanitie (of course this is relitive to whut i think that is) i will turn them in... (i.e. to turn terrorist for some religious cause, and kill people and babies in their sleep or bommin a housin complex, or shoot up a school, sell dope to lil kids, etc etc etc. I WILL TURN THEM IN...

even my baby.

but i would only turn my back on them when they are beyond carin...

Fair enough. I was specifying violent crimes.

Hopefully I did my job and taught my son better so Imma say I'd never encounter a situation like this-he knows better

Hell yeah if he did something wrong... especially a grown man and you know you committed fraud, nah get on in there, I ain't helping your ass out. Fuck that. It'll be like "I love ya but you goin'."

And that's why I won't have kids.

dJJ said:

Today I heard my stephbrother got arrested fordivg without a license, not havig a visa (he's Dutch, s now he's an illegal) and now is in a jail in Cincinati.

Yes, it is his own responsibility, however it's horrble for his family not to know what is going on. we can't contact him.

kewlschool said:

dJJ said:

Today I heard my stephbrother got arrested fordivg without a license, not havig a visa (he's Dutch, s now he's an illegal) and now is in a jail in Cincinati.

Yes, it is his own responsibility, however it's horrble for his family not to know what is going on. we can't contact him.

It's very stressful not to know anything. We can't do much here and have no idea what is going on.

I really feel bad for his father (my mother's husband). He's just stressing out overhere without any reliable information about what is going on in the US with hi son.

My mom's brother just got hospitalized with serious bowel symptoms and his son (my newphew) just heard he has a tumor in his back. My mom really tries to be a support to her husband, her mother and brother, however, it's extreme that all these things happen in a couple of days.

Sorry, I know this should not be here in this thread. I'm just venting because it's a bit much.

i guess only for rape or murder. and even then i'd still visit them every single day and never cut them loose.

but i only have a dog, so i don't have to worry