Have you accepted that fact?

How do you feel about it?

What do you do about it?

From Psychology Today;

Once you can accept that life sometimes is unfair, then you can pursue positive purpose. You can work constructively against injustices you find, transforming your anger into passion. Or you can pursue fulfillment in spite of the unfairness that exists.

What do my fellow Orgers have to say about this?

One of the first lessons my parents taught me. Sadly, there are a lot of people running around today who haven't been taught this - and it's a huge problem.

Genesia said:

One of the first lessons my parents taught me. Sadly, there are a lot of people running around today who haven't been taught this - and it's a huge problem.

It's like an epidemic here on Long Island I think.

Grown-ass folks not doing anything with themselves b/c life didn't hand them what they wanted on a silver platter. These are usually the ones spending their days playing Xbox and smoking weed in their parents' basements.

it depends

for me, the only unfair thing is the fact that some people are healthier than others

other than that, I'd say that HUMANS/SOCIETY are not fair; Life is pretty straightforward/uncomplicated if u think about it...

JoeTyler said:

it depends

for me, the only unfair thing is the fact that some people are healthier than others

other than that, I'd say that HUMANS/SOCIETY are not fair; Life is pretty straightforward/uncomplicated if u think about it...

Yes, I absolutely agree. Health is one of those things that makes you sometimes shake your fists at the heavens and growl.

Genetics too. I absolutely hate the way genetics is so cruel to some of us.

But other than that...yeah things can be straightforward.

PurpleJedi said:

JoeTyler said:

it depends

for me, the only unfair thing is the fact that some people are healthier than others

other than that, I'd say that HUMANS/SOCIETY are not fair; Life is pretty straightforward/uncomplicated if u think about it...

Yes, I absolutely agree. Health is one of those things that makes you sometimes shake your fists at the heavens and growl.

Genetics too. I absolutely hate the way genetics is so cruel to some of us.

But other than that...yeah things can be straightforward.

by genetics you mean beauty or what? lol

because, unless we're talking about a deformity or something (John Merrick stuff) I don't buy the "I'm not as hot as him/her, that's not fair" line That's another reason why I think western society is unfair: if you don't match the DaVincean "proportions" you're supposed to be screwed, and that's BULLSHIT

It's not fair, but on the other hand I believe that you have to work hard and be a positive person and that may help bring success and contentment. You also have to plan your goals and dream. Sometimes people get what they don't deserve, but most of the time they do IMO.

You know, my parents used to tell me this all of the time as a kid and I positively HATED it.

It was the worst thing anyone could ever say to me. And I thought it was kind of a cop out. When I thought THEY weren’t being fair, instead of explaining to me WHY they made their decision they’d throw that out and it would be the end of the discussion. Boo.

That said, it’s true. And while I’m not a religious (or even very spiritual) person, I really like the serenity prayer. While I don’t ask god for these things, it’s something I work on – learning to accept the things I can’t change, changing what I can and truly knowing the difference.

That way I know I've done my part. I've done what I can do.

CarrieMpls said:

You know, my parents used to tell me this all of the time as a kid and I positively HATED it.

It was the worst thing anyone could ever say to me. And I thought it was kind of a cop out. When I thought THEY weren’t being fair, instead of explaining to me WHY they made their decision they’d throw that out and it would be the end of the discussion. Boo.

That said, it’s true. And while I’m not a religious (or even very spiritual) person, I really like the serenity prayer. While I don’t ask god for these things, it’s something I work on – learning to accept the things I can’t change, changing what I can and truly knowing the difference.

That way I know I've done my part. I've done what I can do.

I used to get annoyed with my mom telling me how unfair life is all of the time. The "life sucks" lecture got old. I hope to find more balance when explaining life to my son.

I am not religious either but a few years ago I saw a framed peace dove with the serenity saying under it. I had to buy it. It is a great saying and has been helpful in reminding me that somethings are within my power and some things arent.

JoeTyler said:

PurpleJedi said:

Yes, I absolutely agree. Health is one of those things that makes you sometimes shake your fists at the heavens and growl.

Genetics too. I absolutely hate the way genetics is so cruel to some of us.

But other than that...yeah things can be straightforward.

by genetics you mean beauty or what? lol

because, unless we're talking about a deformity or something (John Merrick stuff) I don't buy the "I'm not as hot as him/her, that's not fair" line That's another reason why I think western society is unfair: if you don't match the DaVincean "proportions" you're supposed to be screwed, and that's BULLSHIT

Somewhere between "beauty" and "deformity".

Not a question of being "hot" but just having poor genes for certain things (narrow shoulders, weak jawline and wide waist on a guy, for example). And being short. That dude that suffered all those hideous operations to grow 6-inches is a prime example.

Empress said:

It's not fair, but on the other hand I believe that you have to work hard and be a positive person and that may help bring success and contentment. You also have to plan your goals and dream. Sometimes people get what they don't deserve, but most of the time they do IMO.

CarrieMpls said:

You know, my parents used to tell me this all of the time as a kid and I positively HATED it.

It was the worst thing anyone could ever say to me. And I thought it was kind of a cop out. When I thought THEY weren’t being fair, instead of explaining to me WHY they made their decision they’d throw that out and it would be the end of the discussion. Boo.

That said, it’s true. And while I’m not a religious (or even very spiritual) person, I really like the serenity prayer. While I don’t ask god for these things, it’s something I work on – learning to accept the things I can’t change, changing what I can and truly knowing the difference.

That way I know I've done my part. I've done what I can do.

Shanti0608 said:

I used to get annoyed with my mom telling me how unfair life is all of the time. The "life sucks" lecture got old. I hope to find more balance when explaining life to my son.

I am not religious either but a few years ago I saw a framed peace dove with the serenity saying under it. I had to buy it. It is a great saying and has been helpful in reminding me that somethings are within my power and some things arent.

Sometimes you can't sugar-coat certain things.

I tell my kids ALL THE TIME that life isn't fair...especially when they're MOANING about some ridiculous thing.

JustErin said:

Totally not fair but making the best of it is all we can do.

Absolutely.

...and not only making the best of it, but also making ourselves better by virtue of our ability to overcome whatever inequity comes our way.

Easier said than done, of course, but a goal worth pursuing nonetheless.

PurpleJedi said:

Shanti0608 said:

I used to get annoyed with my mom telling me how unfair life is all of the time. The "life sucks" lecture got old. I hope to find more balance when explaining life to my son.

I am not religious either but a few years ago I saw a framed peace dove with the serenity saying under it. I had to buy it. It is a great saying and has been helpful in reminding me that somethings are within my power and some things arent.

Sometimes you can't sugar-coat certain things.

I tell my kids ALL THE TIME that life isn't fair...especially when they're MOANING about some ridiculous thing.

Yes I don't want to be in the sugar coat, everything is fairytales and fantasy category. I kind of want to find a balance so he knows that he is not the center of the universe and that there are many ppl less fortune than him.

I guess growing up with my single mother there were times that I felt life wasnt fair like when I see fathers at their childrens graduations or fathers giving their daughters away when they get married. Those are things I will never experience but then I am thankful that I have a mother that cared enough to raise me the best way she knew how.

I never felt like anyone owed me anything for not having a caring father like other girls I grew up with, that is just life.

Shanti0608 said:

PurpleJedi said:

Sometimes you can't sugar-coat certain things.

I tell my kids ALL THE TIME that life isn't fair...especially when they're MOANING about some ridiculous thing.

Yes I don't want to be in the sugar coat, everything is fairytales and fantasy category. I kind of want to find a balance so he knows that he is not the center of the universe and that there are many ppl less fortune than him.

I guess growing up with my single mother there were times that I felt life wasnt fair like when I see fathers at their childrens graduations or fathers giving their daughters away when they get married. Those are things I will never experience but then I am thankful that I have a mother that cared enough to raise me the best way she knew how.

I never felt like anyone owed me anything for not having a caring father like other girls I grew up with, that is just life.

You know...as a teen I used to hate the fact that my parents were always tight on money, and that I couldn't have the things that "normal" people had (Nintendo, vacations, nice cars, etc.).

Then I slowly learned to appreciate the fact that my folks did the BEST they could to provide food/shelter/clothing for me & my brother ....and be grateful that I had two loving parents to begin with!!!

Fairness is just a state of mind when it comes to the little things in life.

PurpleJedi said:

Shanti0608 said:

Yes I don't want to be in the sugar coat, everything is fairytales and fantasy category. I kind of want to find a balance so he knows that he is not the center of the universe and that there are many ppl less fortune than him.

I guess growing up with my single mother there were times that I felt life wasnt fair like when I see fathers at their childrens graduations or fathers giving their daughters away when they get married. Those are things I will never experience but then I am thankful that I have a mother that cared enough to raise me the best way she knew how.

I never felt like anyone owed me anything for not having a caring father like other girls I grew up with, that is just life.

You know...as a teen I used to hate the fact that my parents were always tight on money, and that I couldn't have the things that "normal" people had (Nintendo, vacations, nice cars, etc.).

Then I slowly learned to appreciate the fact that my folks did the BEST they could to provide food/shelter/clothing for me & my brother ....and be grateful that I had two loving parents to begin with!!!

Fairness is just a state of mind when it comes to the little things in life.

My mom never had money to buy me things but necessities and when I was 16 I worked and chipped in for extras.

It taught me a lot and I value nice things and appreciate what I have. It taught me to donate and conserve, things that I hope to teach my son.

My parents could have written this song...

Genesia said:

My parents could have written this song...

Great song!

Shanti0608 said:

PurpleJedi said:

You know...as a teen I used to hate the fact that my parents were always tight on money, and that I couldn't have the things that "normal" people had (Nintendo, vacations, nice cars, etc.).

Then I slowly learned to appreciate the fact that my folks did the BEST they could to provide food/shelter/clothing for me & my brother ....and be grateful that I had two loving parents to begin with!!!

Fairness is just a state of mind when it comes to the little things in life.

My mom never had money to buy me things but necessities and when I was 16 I worked and chipped in for extras.

It taught me a lot and I value nice things and appreciate what I have. It taught me to donate and conserve, things that I hope to teach my son.

There's a few things that I try to impart upon my kids...but I fear that they're spoiled brats nonetheless.

But, you should look on the bright side---you've found ME!

PurpleJedi said:

Shanti0608 said:

My mom never had money to buy me things but necessities and when I was 16 I worked and chipped in for extras.

It taught me a lot and I value nice things and appreciate what I have. It taught me to donate and conserve, things that I hope to teach my son.

There's a few things that I try to impart upon my kids...but I fear that they're spoiled brats nonetheless.

I am sure you teach them manners and they look like they are respectful childen.

I know that sometimes with ppl in your situation, you feel the need to try to compensate for what they are going through.

It is something as parents we do sometimes. We want them to have what we didn't have and if you feel like you are causing their life to be different than you planned in the beginning it is easy to try to make up for it in other ways.

You are a good daddy, they are loved and cared for.

All living things experience dukka. It's everywhere. (mods, do not fucking move this thread because this has been posted). Dukka translates to a pervasive dissatisfactory essence to all things. Sometimes, it's manifested as pleasure--but this is still dukka, because all pleasurable things pass, and you just end up missing them.

Anyways, this colors my every thought. In all things is this impermenance. My happiest relatives growing up were my first cousins once removed....this was 30 years ago. Where are they now? One just recently passed away after a long bought with a degenerative condition, the other had a stroke and is no longer very 'in touch'. One has all manner of health problems, and all are very unhappy. If you took a snapshot from 30 years, ago, it would have been very difficult to imagine this.

Those you love the most will be taken from you. You must be taken as well. I mean, can you imagine just how painful it is for every human being? And there is no end or stop to it. It just continues and continues endlessly.

But, for some reason, I don't think this is unfair. To say that it's unfair seems to put a moral imperative on life itself. Like there's some creator out there who allows it to happen. And that would be even more cruel to me. To me, life is just filled with dukka, but there's no fairness or unfairness to it---it just is....never ending, ceaseless..... I think it makes us more compassionate if we allow it to.

I consider myself to be VERY LUCKY. Life has dealt me all manner of painful experiences. The last few years has seen me vascilate between extreme lows, and numbed mid-tones....and yes, wonderful moments too.

Oh why am I typing this for all you fucks.

Fuck yall.

imago said:

But, you should look on the bright side---you've found ME!

Oh yes.

How could I forget.

I always have Imago.

"neurosis only attaches itself to, fertile ground where it can flourish, the thrill of fear"

PurpleJedi said:

Genesia said:

My parents could have written this song...

Great song!

One thing I should say about my parents is that they never delivered the "life's not fair" message with any sort of bitterness. It was just a fact. Sometimes the breaks go your way, sometimes they don't. But even if you don't always get everything you want, if you work hard and do the right thing, you'll usually wind up in a better place than you would have if you hadn't made the effort.

imago said:

All living things experience dukka. It's everywhere. (mods, do not fucking move this thread because this has been posted). Dukka translates to a pervasive dissatisfactory essence to all things. Sometimes, it's manifested as pleasure--but this is still dukka, because all pleasurable things pass, and you just end up missing them.

Anyways, this colors my every thought. In all things is this impermenance. My happiest relatives growing up were my first cousins once removed....this was 30 years ago. Where are they now? One just recently passed away after a long bought with a degenerative condition, the other had a stroke and is no longer very 'in touch'. One has all manner of health problems, and all are very unhappy. If you took a snapshot from 30 years, ago, it would have been very difficult to imagine this.

Those you love the most will be taken from you. You must be taken as well. I mean, can you imagine just how painful it is for every human being? And there is no end or stop to it. It just continues and continues endlessly.

But, for some reason, I don't think this is unfair. To say that it's unfair seems to put a moral imperative on life itself. Like there's some creator out there who allows it to happen. And that would be even more cruel to me. To me, life is just filled with dukka, but there's no fairness or unfairness to it---it just is....never ending, ceaseless..... I think it makes us more compassionate if we allow it to.

I consider myself to be VERY LUCKY. Life has dealt me all manner of painful experiences. The last few years has seen me vascilate between extreme lows, and numbed mid-tones....and yes, wonderful moments too.

Oh why am I typing this for all you fucks.

Fuck yall.

This is a very medieval sensibility. O fortuna, velut luna, statu variabilis...

And so the wheel of fortune spins round and round, one moment you're up the next you're down. And then you die.

^^And have a nice day to you too!

PurpleJedi said:

JoeTyler said:

by genetics you mean beauty or what? lol

because, unless we're talking about a deformity or something (John Merrick stuff) I don't buy the "I'm not as hot as him/her, that's not fair" line That's another reason why I think western society is unfair: if you don't match the DaVincean "proportions" you're supposed to be screwed, and that's BULLSHIT

Somewhere between "beauty" and "deformity".

Not a question of being "hot" but just having poor genes for certain things (narrow shoulders, weak jawline and wide waist on a guy, for example). And being short. That dude that suffered all those hideous operations to grow 6-inches is a prime example.

And nothing wrong with that at all. I am short myself (and happy about it BTW) and so were nearly all the men I ever felt attracted to in my life.

JoeTyler said:

it depends

for me, the only unfair thing is the fact that some people are healthier than others

other than that, I'd say that HUMANS/SOCIETY are not fair; Life is pretty straightforward/uncomplicated if u think about it...

I don't agree with any of that.

Life is complicated and not easy at all. And there are so many things that are unfair apart from health. What family you are born into, in what country and society you grow up, how intelligent you are, how good looking you are, what talents you have or don't have and all kind of things that happen to you in your life you cannot influence. Not too mention your personality that is not only shaped by your life experiences, but also a lot by your genes and that makes a huge difference all your life .