SeventeenDayze said:

alphastreet said:

Ouch! I think leaving contact info is the least she could have done, even if going was her personal choice in the end.

Tell me about it. I really think on some level she resents being a mother to me and my sister and this is her way of kind of "paying us back"...just seems like she blames us for all of her problems for some reason. Oh well, she didn't have to be a mother if she didn't want to.

I think taking a break from communicating with her for a while will be healthy and help me not to be bitter...

I don't know if she resents it or not, but it could be an age thing for her and just letting go of responsibilities she had when you and your sister were younger, but now the empathy is gone. Taking space might be best for now, for both of you or you may both say things you regret later.

alphastreet said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Tell me about it. I really think on some level she resents being a mother to me and my sister and this is her way of kind of "paying us back"...just seems like she blames us for all of her problems for some reason. Oh well, she didn't have to be a mother if she didn't want to.

I think taking a break from communicating with her for a while will be healthy and help me not to be bitter...

I don't know if she resents it or not, but it could be an age thing for her and just letting go of responsibilities she had when you and your sister were younger, but now the empathy is gone. Taking space might be best for now, for both of you or you may both say things you regret later.

What I don't understand is that if that's how she feels, why does she continue to try to whine and complain to my sister and me when her relationships fail? Why does she continue to expect emotional support and whatnot but when things are going good, she's ghost and treats us like crap when her relationships seem okay. As soon as she gets dumped, then all of a sudden the cellphone calls and emails start rolling in. It just seems like she only cares about herself and then tries to lay a guilt trip on me for being born. If I try to talk to her she hangs up in my face. It's like she's impossible to satisfy so I'm gonna stop trying altogether. Plenty of parents still want a relationship with their grown children, it just seems like mine does not and the main factor has been her incessant desire to have some "relationship" with losers who she later comes crying about to the rest of us.

I really hope I don't end up like that if I ever become a mom, I would rather NEVER have kids than repeat this crap! LOL!

Her definition of a relationship is to find someone to whine to and complain to, and that can be very toxic, though it sounds like a learned behaviour. It's not your fault really, though I see what you mean about being worried you would repeat that behaviour with children and future relationships.

alphastreet said:

Her definition of a relationship is to find someone to whine to and complain to, and that can be very toxic, though it sounds like a learned behaviour. It's not your fault really, though I see what you mean about being worried you would repeat that behaviour with children and future relationships.

Hey Alpha, yeah I have to make a conscious effort to feel good about myself and to not punish whatever man comes into my life from the baggage of the past. I simply cannot do that. I refuse to be a two-time loser in the family life.

SeventeenDayze said:

alphastreet said:

Her definition of a relationship is to find someone to whine to and complain to, and that can be very toxic, though it sounds like a learned behaviour. It's not your fault really, though I see what you mean about being worried you would repeat that behaviour with children and future relationships.

Hey Alpha, yeah I have to make a conscious effort to feel good about myself and to not punish whatever man comes into my life from the baggage of the past. I simply cannot do that. I refuse to be a two-time loser in the family life.

That's a good attitude to have, but there is also nothing wrong with being critical of men from the beginning, that way you know how to not get yourself in a relationship you don't want.