paintedlady said:

Seventeendayez said:

Is blood thicker than water?

I feel really hurt by something and not sure what to think. When I opened up my email today, I got a forwarded message from my mother that is an airline itinerary for travel in a few weeks. The catch is that she's going to another city to meet a man off the internet that she's only been talking to a few weeks. Although I haven't seen her in two years because as she told me once before, the parent shouldn't have to travel where the child is, the child should visit the parent. I moved away abou six years ago and always made the effort to visit when I could.

She is traveling on Mother's Day weekend to visit some creep off the internet that she's never met before! When she first told me that she was talking to this guy and wanted to meet him in person, I asked her if perhaps he could travel to her city first because it would be safer that way.

I feel seriously and deeply hurt because after two years, she's never visited me and I always have to go to her city to visit her and when I do go, she doesn't seem too thrilled. Yet, some total stranger off the internet she is going to get on a plane to meet? My birthday is also in two weeks and she hasn't been here for any holidays or anything...this really hurts me deeply. Isn't blood supposed to be thicker than water?

I just simply wrote back to the email saying, thanks for letting me know and hope you can stop by my city before you head home.

I'm always there for her when her relationships fail and whatnot but as soon as another man enters the picture, she drops me like a bad habit. I listened to her complain about her 3rd husband for YEARS and now she does this? I dunno, this makes me feel like she's fickle.

What do you all think?

I think this post explains much about you...

she is a woman who is a natural born dick chaser, so she will do what ever for dick. Dick is her best friend, so she will travel to get some dick. She will put dick first in her life, dick comes before her own needs including yours. Why you move away from your momma? Maybe she's on FU too mode? Uh, never mind about that. She misses you and loves you, so don't take that shit personal. Some mommas are just like that, they like dick. If you had a dick I am sure she would treat you way better, even travel to see you too.

I am not being facetious either, I mean that... you see I come from a long line of dick chasers myself so trust me when I tell you.... when she goes into menopause and her pussy dries up, she'll need you... then you can stick her dick chasing ass in a nursing home without an ounce of guilt.

See there... it'll all work out in the end!

spell edits

[Edited 4/21/12 7:26am]

[Edited 4/21/12 7:37am]

Oh my God Paintedlady, you are freakin hilarious!

paintedlady said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Yeah it's just real F'd up though that she'd put a total stranger above her own family. It's big reason why for a few years I stopped saying "I love you" because I feel like when she says it, it's just lip service. She outta be like, I love you until the next loser man comes along. When she got married the 3rd time, it was like the worst experience ever. She put that asshole on a pedestal and pushed us away and then when he ended up being an asshole she wanted us to feel bad for her and spend time with her. It's just really a big reason why I literally live nearly 1,000 miles away from home....

Dick chasing is NOT about being horny... that wasn't my point.

Dick chasing is all about feeling lonely and it stems from insecurity. This is why I said I came from a long line of dick chasers, I know that behavior very well.

I broke that curse of how the women in my family put men before everyone else... including their own kids. Horniness does come into play, but she is more insecure and needy than anything else.

So I say to you, (not in judgement, but just from a place of true honesty)

I have read your previous threads and your dating pattern is very simliar to your mom's pattern.

So you can NOT force change on her and still do what you do... all you can do is change yourself.

Do NOT approach her from a point of being angry at her. Tell her only when you are ready to be comapssionate towards her and have an understanding heart.

My previous advice was worded harshly to you for good reason... it was to illustrate the point that YOU do NOT like hearing the hard truth. You are stubborn, you learned that from your mom, and your posts are sorta self-aborbed in nature as well.

Your mom seeks companionship, she doesn't get that from you since you chose to move away from her. In order to heal your relationship with her you must learn to get to a place where you learn to listen to advice you hate to hear... just google "how to be a good listener" and follow the advice.

So once you learn those characteristics and change your lifestyle then you can help her by listening to her.... learning her in a way where you can see her for what she can give you and not by what she should give you.

Learn to accept your mother, despite what she does. She owes you nothing. The men and people in her life are just a reflection of who she is.... including you. She will learn to be a better person once she meets a better person through you. Be that better person and she will come to a different understanding.

That is how you should love your mother, unconditionally.... maybe then she will learn to do the same. If not, you will still be blessed because you will be a better person for it.

Forget what type of mother she is and focus only on being a good daughter. Trust me, she will change in HER time. You must be patient.

No luck is needed just deterimnation and lots of patience and compassion on your part. Now get to work.

Yes, I agree with all of this. This is good advice. Good luck to you

SeventeenDayze said:

paintedlady said:

Interesting, with that attitude you are just as much responsible for the problem of this situation as your mom is, you can only blame yourself for your fucked up relatioship wth your mom.

As for me, my relationship is only getting better and better.

It seems like no matter what I post, you always attack my character or something to that affect. I hope you never have to know what this feels like to have your own mother pull a stunt like this. Please stop trolling me and no more Org notes either. Seems like you're becoming obsessed with my posts or something. Thanks and I will respond no further to you on any threads. Thanks.

I am not trolling you, or attacking you, its not that serious really. You take strong defense because you hate hearing criticism from anyone. Sorry but I am not here to stroke your ego. I thought you could handle straight talk.

You came here fussing about your mom. You say she ignores your needs and is self-centered. She will not change. You can only change yourself and you must keep trying. To make sure the change is a positive one in the right direction, you should really research the info in the orgnote I told you about regarding Rori Raye and her book. But don't worry... I will NEVER try to reach out to you again, ever.

I hope my posts do help others that may have an issue with their family member.

If anyone sees this thread and is in a bad relationship with a family member, I hope this post helps them. A relationship with your mother is a precious one, and always worth every avenue to help heal it if it is dysfunctional.

paintedlady said:

SeventeenDayze said:

It seems like no matter what I post, you always attack my character or something to that affect. I hope you never have to know what this feels like to have your own mother pull a stunt like this. Please stop trolling me and no more Org notes either. Seems like you're becoming obsessed with my posts or something. Thanks and I will respond no further to you on any threads. Thanks.

I am not trolling you, or attacking you, its not that serious really. You take strong defense because you hate hearing criticism from anyone. Sorry but I am not here to stroke your ego. I thought you could handle straight talk.

You came here fussing about your mom. You say she ignores your needs and is self-centered. She will not change. You can only change yourself and you must keep trying. To make sure the change is a positive one in the right direction, you should really research the info in the orgnote I told you about regarding Rori Raye and her book. But don't worry... I will NEVER try to reach out to you again, ever.

I hope my posts do help others that may have an issue with their family member.

If anyone sees this thread and is in a bad relationship with a family member, I hope this post helps them. A relationship with your mother is a precious one, and always worth every avenue to help heal it if it is dysfunctional.

Awww.... this is sweet. Very good advice. SeventeenDayze, you shouldn't take offense. Paintedlady is just trying to help

My ex-husband gave me the same advice about my mother (who was just like yours) but at the time I didn't want to hear it. When I quit pointing the finger at her and tried to see things through her eyes, when I just accepted her, we became friends. And now she's too old to chase dick, thank God, and all she has is me and we have a great relationship. Hope you and your mom work it out too

lauralevesque said:

Awww.... this is sweet. Very good advice. SeventeenDayze, you shouldn't take offense. Paintedlady is just trying to help

My ex-husband gave me the same advice about my mother (who was just like yours) but at the time I didn't want to hear it. When I quit pointing the finger at her and tried to see things through her eyes, when I just accepted her, we became friends. And now she's too old to chase dick, thank God, and all she has is me and we have a great relationship. Hope you and your mom work it out too

I thank God my mom has gotten over her dick-chasing ways. Heffa was on a MISSION!

I love her skank ass though.

I had to learn that because I am just like her, and I learned that it is not such a bad thing because I had to develope a change in my perspective and learn to appreciate her and the woman she is. People aren't perfect, and I had to learn to see my mom as a person whose faults are a part of her, and that I can accept and get past them in order to love her fully. This thread speaks to me because it is an issue close to my heart. This is why I posted all these thoughts.

My mom is only getting older, and her time on this earth will pass, and I had to make sure that my relationship with her was one that wouldn't be filled with shoulddas, coulddas and what ifs.

I think of good friends here on the org who have lost their mothers and use that as a reminder to keep at what I do to honor them, their memories, their mothers and my precious momma WHILE she is here.

I hope Seventeendayze recieves the wisdom and blessings to have an awesome relationship with her mom also... it is in her power to change it and she can do it.

paintedlady said:

lauralevesque said:

Awww.... this is sweet. Very good advice. SeventeenDayze, you shouldn't take offense. Paintedlady is just trying to help

My ex-husband gave me the same advice about my mother (who was just like yours) but at the time I didn't want to hear it. When I quit pointing the finger at her and tried to see things through her eyes, when I just accepted her, we became friends. And now she's too old to chase dick, thank God, and all she has is me and we have a great relationship. Hope you and your mom work it out too

I thank God my mom has gotten over her dick-chasing ways. Heffa was on a MISSION!

I love her skank ass though.

I had to learn that because I am just like her, and I learned that it is not such a bad thing because I had to develope a change in my perspective and learn to appreciate her and the woman she is. People aren't perfect, and I had to learn to see my mom as a person whose faults are a part of her, and that I can accept and get past them in order to love her fully. This thread speaks to me because it is an issue close to my heart. This is why I posted all these thoughts.

My mom is only getting older, and her time on this earth will pass, and I had to make sure that my relationship with her was one that wouldn't be filled with shoulddas, coulddas and what ifs.

I think of good friends here on the org who have lost their mothers and use that as a reminder to keep at what I do to honor them, their memories, their mothers and my precious momma WHILE she is here.

I hope Seventeendayze recieves the wisdom and blessings to have an awesome relationship with her mom also... it is in her power to change it and she can do it.

Sweet

SeventeenDayze said:

alphastreet said:

I hope your mom is safe and though I can see why you're upset, both you and your mom are grown women and though it's hard to do, you just may have to back off and give her space to learn on her own she is making mistakes. It sounds draining trying to deal with her over and over, but you have your own life to deal with just as she does. Still keep in touch, and maybe you will grow closer later on, though you can't just be her counsellor either. I know you wish you could speak your mind and tell her what's on yours cause I agree with a lot of what paintedlady is saying about what she might be like, but she won't listen to you right now and it will lead to more problems.

Hey Alpha, yeah you're right. I guess it's just difficult considering stuff from the past but you're right. I just have to accept it totally and wholly for what it really is, instead of fretting over what it's "not" so to speak. I just pray that God gives me the chance to have a different "family" experience whether it's with a husband one day or if I have 99 cats! I really cannot see myself doing this to anyone that I love in the future. An internet stranger over family? Hell no!

Thanks, Alpha and others for listening to me here. I was really hurt by the whole thing but hopefully things will work out for the best. I just wish she wouldn't have pretended like she was gonna visit me in my city and then say she can't come. Then she turned around and spent money to visit some stranger, random on Mother's Day weekend and I haven't seen her in two years....yeah I was hurt by that one but not totally surprised....

I hope gives you a chance to feel at peace with yourself at first, and then those things will come along and be great for you, when you're ready and up for the challenge Cause these unresolved issues will not mask over the feelings, the patterns will only repeat themselves and the way you were taught to love from your mom may have characteristics you may not realize you're passing down later on down the road, so it's important to come to terms with that. I'm not saying you're like her, but her behaviour is familiar to you and ingrained in your subconscious and it may be a good time to talk it out with a counsellor and work towards emotional self-care.

lauralevesque said:

paintedlady said:

I am not trolling you, or attacking you, its not that serious really. You take strong defense because you hate hearing criticism from anyone. Sorry but I am not here to stroke your ego. I thought you could handle straight talk.

You came here fussing about your mom. You say she ignores your needs and is self-centered. She will not change. You can only change yourself and you must keep trying. To make sure the change is a positive one in the right direction, you should really research the info in the orgnote I told you about regarding Rori Raye and her book. But don't worry... I will NEVER try to reach out to you again, ever.

I hope my posts do help others that may have an issue with their family member.

If anyone sees this thread and is in a bad relationship with a family member, I hope this post helps them. A relationship with your mother is a precious one, and always worth every avenue to help heal it if it is dysfunctional.

Awww.... this is sweet. Very good advice. SeventeenDayze, you shouldn't take offense. Paintedlady is just trying to help

My ex-husband gave me the same advice about my mother (who was just like yours) but at the time I didn't want to hear it. When I quit pointing the finger at her and tried to see things through her eyes, when I just accepted her, we became friends. And now she's too old to chase dick, thank God, and all she has is me and we have a great relationship. Hope you and your mom work it out too

Hey there, sorry but she trolls me, not matter what I post. It's creepy and weird. Everyone else's advice I really take into consideration...thanks for your feedback

SeventeenDayze said:

lauralevesque said:

Awww.... this is sweet. Very good advice. SeventeenDayze, you shouldn't take offense. Paintedlady is just trying to help

My ex-husband gave me the same advice about my mother (who was just like yours) but at the time I didn't want to hear it. When I quit pointing the finger at her and tried to see things through her eyes, when I just accepted her, we became friends. And now she's too old to chase dick, thank God, and all she has is me and we have a great relationship. Hope you and your mom work it out too

Hey there, sorry but she trolls me, not matter what I post. It's creepy and weird. Everyone else's advice I really take into consideration...thanks for your feedback

Scientifically speaking,
blood is thicker than water.
Because, well....y'know....
all the corpuscles and shit.

Visionnaire said:

Scientifically speaking,
blood is thicker than water.
Because, well....y'know....
all the corpuscles and shit.

Ha thanks for adding that perspective to the whole matter

Still have two weeks to go before this trip and I have no idea if she's going to do it or not. I think I'm better off not even thinking about it. I haven't spoken to her since I saw the email with the flight info. I just feel like that's the worse thing a parent can do to invalidate a child, grown or not. She always puts men ahead of the family, so I'm not surprised anymore. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt though, makes the world feel cold and small as hell...

SeventeenDayze said:

Visionnaire said:

Scientifically speaking,
blood is thicker than water.
Because, well....y'know....
all the corpuscles and shit.

Ha thanks for adding that perspective to the whole matter

Still have two weeks to go before this trip and I have no idea if she's going to do it or not. I think I'm better off not even thinking about it. I haven't spoken to her since I saw the email with the flight info. I just feel like that's the worse thing a parent can do to invalidate a child, grown or not. She always puts men ahead of the family, so I'm not surprised anymore. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt though, makes the world feel cold and small as hell...

it's not...

not too often..

My birthday was recently and she didn't call, email or send a card at all. I don't know if she got on that flight to meet that stranger this weekend but I really don't want to talk to her anymore. I feel stabbed in the heart. Are some parents just incompetent or incapable of real love?

SeventeenDayze said:

My birthday was recently and she didn't call, email or send a card at all. I don't know if she got on that flight to meet that stranger this weekend but I really don't want to talk to her anymore. I feel stabbed in the heart. Are some parents just incompetent or incapable of real love?

...or merely too self-absorbed to realize what they're NOT doing?

PurpleJedi said:

SeventeenDayze said:

My birthday was recently and she didn't call, email or send a card at all. I don't know if she got on that flight to meet that stranger this weekend but I really don't want to talk to her anymore. I feel stabbed in the heart. Are some parents just incompetent or incapable of real love?

...or merely too self-absorbed to realize what they're NOT doing?

I guess that might be true

SeventeenDayze said:

My birthday was recently and she didn't call, email or send a card at all. I don't know if she got on that flight to meet that stranger this weekend but I really don't want to talk to her anymore. I feel stabbed in the heart. Are some parents just incompetent or incapable of real love?

SeventeenDayze said:

Spinlight said:

Interesting perspective. I wonder what causes this kind of disassociation? I suppose I take my relationship for granted because I certainly would never expect this kind of behavior from my ma. I know not all moms are made alike, but how can you not be maternal? Dick over your own daughter? Cuz it makes you feel good? Yikes. That sounds shockingly disrespectful and ungrateful.

Spin has it right...I've gone above and beyond trying to make compromises, be the better person, etc. but this latest thing about her going on Mother's Day to visit a random off the internet after refusing to even come out to where I live was the final straw. It's like she expects my sister and me to no matter what just drop everything and do everything to help her recover emotionally but when I have problems that involve emotions or whatever, she doesn't stay on the phone that long maybe a minute or two before saying, "Gotta go I'm busy" But in the past she has kept me on the phone for HOURS behind these assholes that she marries. Enough already!

I do not feel genuinely loved by her at all because all she does is try to just talk to me when she needs something and then comes up with excuse after excuse why she can't spend time together. I left my hometown when I was 27 and now I'm in my early 30s and she's in her early 60s so whatever. She's angry at me because I decided to leave my hometown and whatnot. Even when I moved out on my own at 21 and was only a 30 minute drive away, I can count on one hand how many times she came by to visit and I was ALWAYS the one visiting. Then suddenly her bitchass husband number 3 was complaining that I was visiting too much and she was basically then telling me to come by less, because that loser told her. She used to talk shit that no man would rip the family apart and that's exactly what happened, so whatever! I'm done

Putting all your mom's business out there in a mass email is not "being the better person." It's the act of a someone who learned passive/aggressive behavior at the feet of a master.

[Edited 5/14/12 13:12pm]

Genesia said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Spin has it right...I've gone above and beyond trying to make compromises, be the better person, etc. but this latest thing about her going on Mother's Day to visit a random off the internet after refusing to even come out to where I live was the final straw. It's like she expects my sister and me to no matter what just drop everything and do everything to help her recover emotionally but when I have problems that involve emotions or whatever, she doesn't stay on the phone that long maybe a minute or two before saying, "Gotta go I'm busy" But in the past she has kept me on the phone for HOURS behind these assholes that she marries. Enough already!

I do not feel genuinely loved by her at all because all she does is try to just talk to me when she needs something and then comes up with excuse after excuse why she can't spend time together. I left my hometown when I was 27 and now I'm in my early 30s and she's in her early 60s so whatever. She's angry at me because I decided to leave my hometown and whatnot. Even when I moved out on my own at 21 and was only a 30 minute drive away, I can count on one hand how many times she came by to visit and I was ALWAYS the one visiting. Then suddenly her bitchass husband number 3 was complaining that I was visiting too much and she was basically then telling me to come by less, because that loser told her. She used to talk shit that no man would rip the family apart and that's exactly what happened, so whatever! I'm done

Putting all your mom's business out there in a mass email is not "being the better person." It's the act of a someone who learned passive/aggressive behavior at the feet of a master.

[Edited 5/14/12 13:12pm]

I was dropping hints off and on that perhaps the guy should visit her and I said it in a respectful way. Yes, I can say that I have tried to be the better person in situations where, for example, she wants to call and complain for HOURS about ex-husband number three and I listen to her. Instead of saying, "I told you so"...which is what most would do.

She was basically ignoring rational, calm discussion basically begging her not to put her life at risk getting on a plane to meet a man she doesn't know and who neither myself nor my sister had ANY information about at all. Now, what would I have been criticized for had I not told anyone, she goes on the trip, and comes up missing?

I hope you never have to deal with this in your life. Not as easy as it seems....it's horrible and it's the worst kind of betrayal you can imagine that you mother tells you she can't come to your city because she doesn't have time/money but then she PAYS for a ticket to go meet a stranger.....oh well.

Sounds like she's self-absorbed with her own life now.

alphastreet said:

Sounds like she's self-absorbed with her own life now.

Yeah, I don't know what to do anymore, so I just don't call anymore at this point. I try to make friends but it's hard because I feel like the closest bonds in my life that I should have should be family first above "friends" but when you don't have that, then what?

I was making a friend recently, or so I thought and then suddenly things got a bit strange. The first (and only) time I went to her apartment is myseteriously when she started bringing up stuff related to gay topics. She showed me some Kevin Hart skit about gay dudes and then showed me a video of some PBS series where a gay man hit on a straight man and got into a confrontation. For me, the writing was on the wall....so I don't communicate with her anymore.

Why is it so tough making friends when you're over 30?

I hope things get better with you and your mother but to answer your question............F*ck no !

JoeyC said:

I hope things get better with you and your mother but to answer your question............F*ck no !

Hey Joey, thanks. I just wrote her a letter a few minutes ago and dropped it off in the mailbox. I figured writing a letter would be better than a phone call or email. I just asked her why things have fallen apart and let her know that I think she should get counseling. That's not all that I said but it's pretty much in a nutshell. I just asked why she put a stranger above her own family. I also said at the end of the letter that it's going to be a while before she hears from me again because I need time to heal.

SeventeenDayze said:

alphastreet said:

Sounds like she's self-absorbed with her own life now.

Yeah, I don't know what to do anymore, so I just don't call anymore at this point. I try to make friends but it's hard because I feel like the closest bonds in my life that I should have should be family first above "friends" but when you don't have that, then what?

I was making a friend recently, or so I thought and then suddenly things got a bit strange. The first (and only) time I went to her apartment is myseteriously when she started bringing up stuff related to gay topics. She showed me some Kevin Hart skit about gay dudes and then showed me a video of some PBS series where a gay man hit on a straight man and got into a confrontation. For me, the writing was on the wall....so I don't communicate with her anymore.

Why is it so tough making friends when you're over 30?

What's with the gay topics?

Do you think she was implying that you're gay?

PurpleJedi said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Yeah, I don't know what to do anymore, so I just don't call anymore at this point. I try to make friends but it's hard because I feel like the closest bonds in my life that I should have should be family first above "friends" but when you don't have that, then what?

I was making a friend recently, or so I thought and then suddenly things got a bit strange. The first (and only) time I went to her apartment is myseteriously when she started bringing up stuff related to gay topics. She showed me some Kevin Hart skit about gay dudes and then showed me a video of some PBS series where a gay man hit on a straight man and got into a confrontation. For me, the writing was on the wall....so I don't communicate with her anymore.

Why is it so tough making friends when you're over 30?

What's with the gay topics?

Do you think she was implying that you're gay?

No, I think she was suggesting that SHE is the one who is gay but closeted. One time I was talking about some basketball player I thought was cute and joked about how it was the only reason I watched sports when I was a school girl. She made a comment after that which made me think she's pretty much a manhater...She knows I'm not gay but apparently she's most likely in the closet herself.

Or she could be a straight girl with lots of gay friends too or gets/enjoys gay humor? I don't necessarily think it means she's a lesbian though it could be true as well. I do think it's a little naive to assume she was making a move by watching that, maybe that's just what she likes to talk about.

alphastreet said:

Or she could be a straight girl with lots of gay friends too or gets/enjoys gay humor? I don't necessarily think it means she's a lesbian though it could be true as well. I do think it's a little naive to assume she was making a move by watching that, maybe that's just what she likes to talk about.

It's not just those things but I had suspicions and other little red flags but they were most certainly confirmed after a while. The anger she has towards men and always talking about gay stuff, just put two and two together...

SeventeenDayze said:

alphastreet said:

Or she could be a straight girl with lots of gay friends too or gets/enjoys gay humor? I don't necessarily think it means she's a lesbian though it could be true as well. I do think it's a little naive to assume she was making a move by watching that, maybe that's just what she likes to talk about.

It's not just those things but I had suspicions and other little red flags but they were most certainly confirmed after a while. The anger she has towards men and always talking about gay stuff, just put two and two together...

Sounds like repressed anger coming out through some sort of fetish now that you mention it

alphastreet said:

SeventeenDayze said:

It's not just those things but I had suspicions and other little red flags but they were most certainly confirmed after a while. The anger she has towards men and always talking about gay stuff, just put two and two together...

Sounds like repressed anger coming out through some sort of fetish now that you mention it

I talked to my sister the other day and she told me that even though my mom said she wasn't going to take that trip, that she went anyway. My mom and sis live together and my sister told me that basically my mom left the light on in her room, left her car parked out front and went out of town and didn't say she was leaving. My sister then told me that my mom got angry that my sister didn't call her to wish her a happy mother's day that weekend. Seriously? My sister who is normally "tough as nails" sounded really hurt as she was telling me about it. She was upset because my nephew was home alone and happened to get sick while she was at work and my mom left without telling anyone. We didn't have this guy's information, name, address, nothing...my mom made it back safe but neither my sister nor myself are speaking to my mother right now. It's like she could give a damn about our feelings but expects us to drop everything and support her when she feels like it, regardless of how she treats us. I wrote her a letter and mailed it to her last week before I even found out she took the trip after all. She told us she wasn't going and then pulled that stunt anyway. Oh well, she wants to choose a stranger over family that's what she'll be left with. I'm sick of it already...

Ouch! I think leaving contact info is the least she could have done, even if going was her personal choice in the end.

alphastreet said:

Ouch! I think leaving contact info is the least she could have done, even if going was her personal choice in the end.

Tell me about it. I really think on some level she resents being a mother to me and my sister and this is her way of kind of "paying us back"...just seems like she blames us for all of her problems for some reason. Oh well, she didn't have to be a mother if she didn't want to.

I think taking a break from communicating with her for a while will be healthy and help me not to be bitter...