ScarletScandal said:

Lammastide said:

I don't mean to sound paternal, but guys don't go to those sites to babysit you. They overwhelmingly are there -- like you -- simply to score a piece and move on. Why would they freely give up information that makes meeting that objective tougher?

Oh I understand what you're saying , but regardless of how tough it is for them, I still ask. I'm about to just stop fucking.

AsherFierce said:

ScarletScandal said:

Oh I understand what you're saying , but regardless of how tough it is for them, I still ask. I'm about to just stop fucking.

I know. Perish the thought. It's actually been about a week for me. That's a LONG time for me lol

I miss LA soooooooo much.

Dren5 said:

ScarletScandal said:

This is something I don't understand. I'm on a LOT of dating a hook up websites, and I use CL as well, but ya'll already know all that

On most of them, you have the option to put whether you're HIV negative or positive. If someone doesn't have their status in their profile, I simply won't talk to them. If I do, I'll ask them what their status is, and they'll say "I'm undetectable." It doesn't bother me at ALL that they're positive, what bothers me is that they try to pass it off as if they're negative or they have little to no chance of transmitting it to you. That is so scary to me. Has anyone else seen or noticed this at all? I also hate having to ask. It's embarassing for me to do so. It's just scary to me that some of them who talk to me just act so non-chalantly about it.

Discuss.

I consider that sociopathy, honestly.

If you lie or don't tell someone that you're HIV positive and screw them, especially without a condom, I believe you're a menace and risk to society and don't deserve to be free and out with the rest of the population.

I just really can't say enough how I view that type of think with total contempt and find it immoral.

And on a side note - just because some of those profiles on those sites, say they're HIV negative...they could be flat out lying about it.

I consider it very selfish and bordering on sociopathy if you don't tell someone you're about to get intimate with that you're HIV positive. Forget stigma or any of that bullshit. You don't tell someone, and they get it, you're responsible for that.

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

Dren5 said:

I consider that sociopathy, honestly.

If you lie or don't tell someone that you're HIV positive and screw them, especially without a condom, I believe you're a menace and risk to society and don't deserve to be free and out with the rest of the population.

I just really can't say enough how I view that type of think with total contempt and find it immoral.

And on a side note - just because some of those profiles on those sites, say they're HIV negative...they could be flat out lying about it.

I consider it very selfish and bordering on sociopathy if you don't tell someone you're about to get intimate with that you're HIV positive. Forget stigma or any of that bullshit. You don't tell someone, and they get it, you're responsible for that.

Exactly. Hell, I won't even have sex with someone if I have a cold lol

Lammastide said:

I don't mean to sound paternal, but guys don't go to those sites to babysit you. They overwhelmingly are there -- like you -- simply to score a piece and move on. Why would they freely give up information that makes meeting that objective tougher?

OMG, you are soooooooooo slutty.

Genesia said:

I can't believe how many people seem to think condoms are 100% effective against HIV transmission.

They aren't against Syphlis and Herpes either.

Hell, with Syphlis, it's cured with a shot, but Herpes? nope.

It's like rolling dice out there. I've completely become very careful now. I no longer go out looking to score. It's just too risky.

imago said:

Lammastide said:

I don't mean to sound paternal, but guys don't go to those sites to babysit you. They overwhelmingly are there -- like you -- simply to score a piece and move on. Why would they freely give up information that makes meeting that objective tougher?

OMG, you are soooooooooo slutty.

ScarletScandal said:

nursev said:

Not trying to be inconsiderate, but I think it's like real classless to even have to put a diagnosis like that on a public site I mean yes the stigma of being HIV positive is not as bad as it use to be, but it's still a private matter.

I don't think it's classless at all. As gay men, we're encouraged to be open about our HIV status. That doesn't bother me at all. I'd rather know than not know.

Isn't that why you ask? Maybe they want someone to ask rather than ignore them.

ScarletScandal said:

nursev said:

What I mean is why not discuss it privately with that other person? Through email, notes, whatever. Should it really be posted on a profile with other insignificant shit? Not that kinda info

It's not something that people are forced to do. In fact, a lot of people don't put their status on their profiles, which prompts me to ask them. I hate having to ask. I feel if someone approaches me, then they should let me know off the bat.

And if it goes nowhere? Why did they have to disclose? Gossip fodder?

kewlschool said:

lazycrockett said:

I assume everyone I hooked up with in the past was HIV+ and took the proper precautions.

I also assume that they have Gonorrhea and syphilis. Which means any man could get it even if they were to wear a condom (which I always do.). For instance your balls could slap against the pussy or inner thigh and get the std even though you are wearing a condom.

Same goes for a lady giving oral, you must always wear a condom-because she could transfer the std via mouth to penis or other way around.

?

What STD would that be? Unless you have lacerated nuts, how would the STD be transmitted?

I can't think of any STD transmitted skin to skin.

So how do you protect yourself currently? To prevent your balls from picking up an STD?

ScarletScandal said:

...what bothers me is that they try to pass it off as if they're negative or they have little to no chance of transmitting it to you. That is so scary to me. Has anyone else seen or noticed this at all? I also hate having to ask. It's embarassing for me to do so. It's just scary to me that some of them who talk to me just act so non-chalantly about it.

Discuss.

It's the 800-pound gorilla in the room that far too many people hope will be rendered harmless if they just don't speak it's name.

imago said:

SUPRMAN said:

kewlschool said:

I also assume that they have Gonorrhea and syphilis. Which means any man could get it even if they were to wear a condom (which I always do.). For instance your balls could slap against the pussy or inner thigh and get the std even though you are wearing a condom.

Same goes for a lady giving oral, you must always wear a condom-because she could transfer the std via mouth to penis or other way around.

?

What STD would that be? Unless you have lacerated nuts, how would the STD be transmitted?

I can't think of any STD transmitted skin to skin.

So how do you protect yourself currently? To prevent your balls from picking up an STD?

The problem is that you can't. Although transmission from ball sack to pussy is not as effective as more traditional mehods.

From the web:

SUPRMAN said:

ScarletScandal said:

I don't think it's classless at all. As gay men, we're encouraged to be open about our HIV status. That doesn't bother me at all. I'd rather know than not know.

Isn't that why you ask? Maybe they want someone to ask rather than ignore them.

I don't think they don't put their HIV status in their profile just to get people to talk to them. I assume that if they don't have it in there, that they're positive. What kills me though, is when I do ask a guy, instead of saying he's positive, he'll say "I'm undetectable." That's gonna fuck people up. I hate that. To me, that's the same as saying yes. Just because you're on the meds and all, and it's undetectable in YOUR body, doesn't do anything to stop transmission or lower risk of infection.

today i found out my cousin who's gay has HIV. i only know of some of his partners but now the nightmare for him on how he contracted it and informing that person or people he's been with now comes into effect.

the misconception tho is that this disease is still being treated by the majority of society is that it's a "gay man's disease" which is so not true.

i'm just grateful that more information is avialble and treatments are more advanced than in the early 80's.

Imo full disclosure whether on the internet or in person should be had by all.

ScarletScandal said:

SUPRMAN said:

Isn't that why you ask? Maybe they want someone to ask rather than ignore them.

I don't think they don't put their HIV status in their profile just to get people to talk to them. I assume that if they don't have it in there, that they're positive. What kills me though, is when I do ask a guy, instead of saying he's positive, he'll say "I'm undetectable." That's gonna fuck people up. I hate that. To me, that's the same as saying yes. Just because you're on the meds and all, and it's undetectable in YOUR body, doesn't do anything to stop transmission or lower risk of infection.

It does lower the risk of infection, but it doesn't eliminate it. Less virrus present mean less virus that are available to potentially infect another. Without a route of transmission, there is no chance of infection.

lazycrockett said:

I assume everyone I hooked up with in the past was HIV+ and took the proper precautions.

THAT right there is what everyone should do.

This is one of those so simple/so complex topics. I'd guess that the reasons are probably as varied as the people involved.

And yes, there is tremendous amount of stigma. Of course, there are jerks out there, but also...When someone is telling you they are undetectable maybe they are not expecting that you think they are practically negative or that the virus cannot be transmitted, but rather hoping that the response to their revelation be a civil one and not one that dismisses them as a human being. There's folk you will chat online with who you might never even have a chance of ever meeting that will drop off an online conversation (like, literally, no response, or block) the second the subject comes up and one answers truthfully. Like the poz person is not even worth the other saying, "I don't feel comfortable about this, but it was nice chatting with you." or whatever.

Scarlett, I know that you've said it doesn't matter to you, but keep in mind that on a hookup site they don't know you.

Also, regarding myths and meds being what makes a person sick.

Yes indeed there are risks and certainly side effects to meds, but there is no trick or myth going on when it comes to them being helpful when needed.
I know that I nearly died from severe pneumonia and spent a month in the hospital in 97. There is no doubt in my mind that I would not have overcome this and be here today were it not for meds, shitty side effects and all.

The only scams going on are the greedyness of pharmaceutical companies. The costs of meds. If I were to subscribe to a conspiracy theory on this would be perhaps (perhaps) that the virus was manmade, and that our government is capable of delaying cures/advances that would lessen the amount of money being made from folk needing the meds.

johnart said:

Also, regarding myths and meds being what makes a person sick.

Yes indeed there are risks and certainly side effects to meds, but there is no trick or myth going on when it comes to them being helpful when needed.
I know that I nearly died from severe pneumonia and spent a month in the hospital in 97. There is no doubt in my mind that I would not have overcome this and be here today were it not for meds, shitty side effects and all.

The only scams going on are the greedyness of pharmaceutical companies. The costs of meds. If I were to subscribe to a conspiracy theory on this would be perhaps (perhaps) that the virus was manmade, and that our government is capable of delaying cures/advances that would lessen the amount of money being made from folk needing the meds.

Of course it was man made, and they wouldn't create it and not make a cure for it at the same time

It's just that there is no money made in healing people, only keeping them sick.

vainandy said:

nursev said:

What I mean is why not discuss it privately with that other person? Through email, notes, whatever. Should it really be posted on a profile with other insignificant shit? Not that kinda info

It's different on personals sites when it comes to gay and straight people. I like to look through the sites simply to see the dicks of average men because I don't like the "perfect" plastic Ken doll look of the porn stars these days. When you go to a site like Craig's List in the "Men Seeking Men" section and look at the pictures, the majority have a picture of the person's dick. That's letting you know right up front that they are looking for some fun the very first time they meet. No beating around the bush, talking, going to dinner or any of that other stuff, just going straight to bed as soon as they meet.

I get bored looking at those dicks because so many gay men these days have bought into that porn look and shave and trim their dicks so I go over to the "Men Seeking Women" section to look at the pictures. Boy, what a disappointment that is. All I ever see is pictures of their faces and rarely do they post a picture of their dick. Like gay men, they may also have motives of going to bed as soon as they meet someone but they have to deal with women which means they have to play the women's games such as going to dinner first, talking, and "getting to know each other first". That's the difference right there. When it comes to two men meeting up, they don't have to play all those games and get right on down to business as soon as they say "hello". There's no talking in private because they didn't meet up to talk.

Call me naive, but I had no idea CL had all this Leave it to Vainandy to enlighten

ScarletScandal said:

johnart said:

Also, regarding myths and meds being what makes a person sick.

Yes indeed there are risks and certainly side effects to meds, but there is no trick or myth going on when it comes to them being helpful when needed.
I know that I nearly died from severe pneumonia and spent a month in the hospital in 97. There is no doubt in my mind that I would not have overcome this and be here today were it not for meds, shitty side effects and all.

The only scams going on are the greedyness of pharmaceutical companies. The costs of meds. If I were to subscribe to a conspiracy theory on this would be perhaps (perhaps) that the virus was manmade, and that our government is capable of delaying cures/advances that would lessen the amount of money being made from folk needing the meds.

Of course it was man made, and they wouldn't create it and not make a cure for it at the same time

It's just that there is no money made in healing people, only keeping them sick.

I cannot believe people believe this.

SUPRMAN said:

ScarletScandal said:

Of course it was man made, and they wouldn't create it and not make a cure for it at the same time

It's just that there is no money made in healing people, only keeping them sick.

I cannot believe people believe this.

Neither can I. I put it down to folks needing someone to blame.

Hmm... I don't know about pills being man made.

But do like lazycrockett and approach with caution. It's better to be safe than to carry on with someone who may have it and be sorry later.

SUPRMAN said:

ScarletScandal said:

Of course it was man made, and they wouldn't create it and not make a cure for it at the same time

It's just that there is no money made in healing people, only keeping them sick.

I cannot believe people believe this.

I can't believe people don't believe it

Timmy84 said:

Hmm... I don't know about pills being man made.

But do like lazycrockett and approach with caution. It's better to be safe than to carry on with someone who may have it and be sorry later.

The free clinics need to start giving out free Magnums.

ScarletScandal said:

Timmy84 said:

Hmm... I don't know about pills being man made.

But do like lazycrockett and approach with caution. It's better to be safe than to carry on with someone who may have it and be sorry later.

The free clinics need to start giving out free Magnums.

Why? Be a responsible adult and buy your own condoms.

Genesia said:

ScarletScandal said:

The free clinics need to start giving out free Magnums.

Why? Be a responsible adult and buy your own condoms.

WOW.

See, there YOU go. I never said I don't buy them, I do, even though I hate them and they're a waste of money. I don't have an average sized dick, so when I go to the clinic, none of the free condoms fit me. If they are so adamant on wanting people to use them, then they need to start accomodating everybody. That's all I'm really saying.

Please lol clinics ain't gonna do that. Unless it's a sex clinic.

Timmy84 said:

Please lol clinics ain't gonna do that. Unless it's a sex clinic.

Lol those are the only kinds of clinics I go to. To get tested and such. I asked them why they don't do that, and they couldn't even give me an answer. I might have to start a damn petition or something