I know this is a conversation I should be having with my husband but we've kinda talked about it before and it just makes things even weirder or he just kinda blows it off.

Anyway, my question is do men tire of looking at the same woman all the time? I know my husband thinks I'm pretty, but I don't think he thinks I'm as sexy as he did when we first met....even though he says he thinks I look the same as I used to. We have a good sex life its not that. But I don't feel he desires me like he used to.

Plus he makes comments about my clothes and stuff, like he like it best when I wear longer shorts (like to my knee) with sneakers....?? He said that I look more like a 33 year old mom of three that way. So he basically wants me to dress like a soccer mom. Which I do at times, but other times I don't. Plus the women that he looks at on tv and online are NOT dressed like soccer moms.

So I googled it, because I just don't get it, and I came up with a couple of possibilities. Either he has the 'Virgin Mary Syndrome' like now he just basically see's me as the mother of his child....NOT a sex object. Or he is bored of seeing the same thing day in and day out. So what is it??

Like I said, I know he thinks I'm pretty and it's not like he doesn't want sex, he does...it's just not like, OMG your so hot I want you now sex...yanno?

[Edited 4/2/12 10:53am]

This is why relationships fucking suck.

JustErin said:

This is why relationships fucking suck.

Yeah. Don't get me wrong, I definetly feel loved....I just wonder if it is impossible to hold onto the lust part. I still lust after him though. I also remember my ex husband telling me towards the end of our marriage that he just wasn't attracted to me at all anymore, and I felt like I looked better then than in the beginning of our relationship. So it must be a boredom thing?

TotalANXiousNESS said:

JustErin said:

This is why relationships fucking suck.

Yeah. Don't get me wrong, I definetly feel loved....I just wonder if it is impossible to hold onto the lust part. I still lust after him though. I also remember my ex husband telling me towards the end of our marriage that he just wasn't attracted to me at all anymore, and I felt like I looked better then than in the beginning of our relationship. So it must be a boredom thing?

It's just one unfortunate part of relationships. But there are great parts too. But yeah, men must be wired to think strangers are hot.

It doesn't mean the lust is totally gone, but he can never see you like a stranger because you are not one anymore. You are the woman he loves.

NDRU said:

TotalANXiousNESS said:

Yeah. Don't get me wrong, I definetly feel loved....I just wonder if it is impossible to hold onto the lust part. I still lust after him though. I also remember my ex husband telling me towards the end of our marriage that he just wasn't attracted to me at all anymore, and I felt like I looked better then than in the beginning of our relationship. So it must be a boredom thing?

It's just one unfortunate part of relationships. But there are great parts too. But yeah, men must be wired to think strangers are hot.

It doesn't mean the lust is totally gone, but he can never see you like a stranger because you are not one anymore. You are the woman he loves.

So basically I must resign to the fact that I will only ever be considered hot again by total strangers and not my husband. Awesome.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

NDRU said:

It's just one unfortunate part of relationships. But there are great parts too. But yeah, men must be wired to think strangers are hot.

It doesn't mean the lust is totally gone, but he can never see you like a stranger because you are not one anymore. You are the woman he loves.

So basically I must resign to the fact that I will only ever be considered hot again by total strangers and not my husband. Awesome.

You'll always be hot to him, but he won't see you like a stranger.

And the good news is, when he is deprived of sex enough (as happens so often in marriage), he will begin to think of you as something of a stranger too!!!

But yes, strangers will also think you are hot. That's probably why he wants you to dress like a soccer mom

NDRU said:

TotalANXiousNESS said:

So basically I must resign to the fact that I will only ever be considered hot again by total strangers and not my husband. Awesome.

You'll always be hot to him, but he won't see you like a stranger.

And the good news is, when he is deprived of sex enough (as happens so often in marriage), he will begin to think of you as something of a stranger too!!!

But yes, strangers will also think you are hot. That's probably why he wants you to dress like a soccer mom

All of this..^^^

TRUTH!!

NDRU said:

TotalANXiousNESS said:

So basically I must resign to the fact that I will only ever be considered hot again by total strangers and not my husband. Awesome.

You'll always be hot to him, but he won't see you like a stranger.

And the good news is, when he is deprived of sex enough (as happens so often in marriage), he will begin to think of you as something of a stranger too!!!

But yes, strangers will also think you are hot. That's probably why he wants you to dress like a soccer mom

Well that makes it sound a bit better. Thanks buddy!

TotalANXiousNESS said:

NDRU said:

You'll always be hot to him, but he won't see you like a stranger.

And the good news is, when he is deprived of sex enough (as happens so often in marriage), he will begin to think of you as something of a stranger too!!!

But yes, strangers will also think you are hot. That's probably why he wants you to dress like a soccer mom

Well that makes it sound a bit better. Thanks buddy!

I'm happy to ogle you, if that helps

This is so interesting because a few weeks ago my girlfriend said "I feel like you don't desire me like you used to."

First she said it once and never brought it up again. Now she is saying it pretty often and asking me questions like "how have the ways you view me shifted over time? Do you still find me desirable?" ect. She is also starting to accuse me of checking out strangers, who I'm not even looking at.

I don't get it. I don't feel like I desire her any less. I don't treat her any different (that I know of), and we still fuck like rabbits. I check HER out all the time, tell her how hot she is ect

What makes you feel like you're desired less? I don't understand this...

I was with my husband for 11 years and still was hot for him (he wasn't for me, but that's another story).

TotalANXiousNESS said:

My bf was pretty honest with me about being scared of promising to only have sex with one woman for the rest of his life. But then he was sweet enough (and smart enough) to say if it’s only gonna be one, I make an awesome choice. (Of course, neither of us has made that promise yet.)

I’m only 2 years into it, though, so what do I know? While he’s now seen me at my worst, I still make sure to make an effort regularly. Sure, I allow myself to be more comfortable when we’re just hanging out at home, but I make sure to dress up now and again, especially if we’re going out.

I expect over time we’ll both have patches where we get bored of each other, sex-wise or otherwise. I think that’s just when the other person has to make up for it for a bit.

CarrieMpls said:

My bf was pretty honest with me about being scared of promising to only have sex with one woman for the rest of his life. But then he was sweet enough (and smart enough) to say if it’s only gonna be one, I make an awesome choice. (Of course, neither of us has made that promise yet.)

I’m only 2 years into it, though, so what do I know? While he’s now seen me at my worst, I still make sure to make an effort regularly. Sure, I allow myself to be more comfortable when we’re just hanging out at home, but I make sure to dress up now and again, especially if we’re going out.

I expect over time we’ll both have patches where we get bored of each other, sex-wise or otherwise. I think that’s just when the other person has to make up for it for a bit.

yes, it all ebbs and flows. sometimes you see your partner and there is nothing. Hell, there even might be disgust and hate!

But I can say that even after a dozen years, the good stuff can return with some force, too.

I often ask my husband about what looks good on me. He's very honest and it's nice to get his perspective on things. We also set aside time (though not as much as we used to.. but we're working on that) to spend more time together. I think it's important to have an evening without any other distractions to talk about stuff... all kinds of stuff. It makes a big difference to how we see and appreciate each other.

i can honestly say

MY DICK IS BIGGER THAN HIS!!!

now i'll go back and read the begginin of this thread

TotalANXiousNESS said:

I know this is a conversation I should be having with my husband but we've kinda talked about it before and it just makes things even weirder or he just kinda blows it off.

Anyway, my question is do men tire of looking at the same woman all the time? I know my husband thinks I'm pretty, but I don't think he thinks I'm as sexy as he did when we first met....even though he says he thinks I look the same as I used to. We have a good sex life its not that. But I don't feel he desires me like he used to.

Plus he makes comments about my clothes and stuff, like he like it best when I wear longer shorts (like to my knee) with sneakers....?? He said that I look more like a 33 year old mom of three that way. So he basically wants me to dress like a soccer mom. Which I do at times, but other times I don't. Plus the women that he looks at on tv and online are NOT dressed like soccer moms.

So I googled it, because I just don't get it, and I came up with a couple of possibilities. Either he has the 'Virgin Mary Syndrome' like now he just basically see's me as the mother of his child....NOT a sex object. Or he is bored of seeing the same thing day in and day out. So what is it??

Like I said, I know he thinks I'm pretty and it's not like he doesn't want sex, he does...it's just not like, OMG your so hot I want you now sex...yanno?

[Edited 4/2/12 10:53am]

it's hard to do some things with/to the mother of your kids

FOR GOD'S SAKE, IT'S THE MOTHER OF HIS KIDS,

SHE KISSES THEM TO SLEEP WITH THAT MOUTH

and so forth...

SO,

even though it may not be a consciuous act,

somewhere in the dark part of the mind is the

memmory of mother commin in and layin that

goodnight kiss on them and the smell of applepie

or daddy's nuts on her breath.

the commitment to a marriage says that no matter the

changes she may go through, one is willin to love her

all the same UNLESS as soon as you say I DO you're never seen

without food in your mouth. (yes that's grounds for divorce)

my dick is still bigger

NDRU said:

TotalANXiousNESS said:

So basically I must resign to the fact that I will only ever be considered hot again by total strangers and not my husband. Awesome.

You'll always be hot to him, but he won't see you like a stranger.

And the good news is, when he is deprived of sex enough (as happens so often in marriage), he will begin to think of you as something of a stranger too!!!

But yes, strangers will also think you are hot. That's probably why he wants you to dress like a soccer mom

And don't forget to take a deep breath, relax and stop trying to control how your husband desires you (That's the way it appears.). Besides you are hot-so really no problem-So why create one? (Again seemingly.). Enjoy yourself and your hubby with all the ebb and flows that life offers.

Oh, and just say no to the soccer mom clothes.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

NDRU said:

It's just one unfortunate part of relationships. But there are great parts too. But yeah, men must be wired to think strangers are hot.

It doesn't mean the lust is totally gone, but he can never see you like a stranger because you are not one anymore. You are the woman he loves.

So basically I must resign to the fact that I will only ever be considered hot again by total strangers and not my husband. Awesome.

I know I look at women I date as hot well beyond the point that we first started seeing each other. Although I do also firmly believe in the idea of still keeping up appearances in a relationship, which seems to be something lost on a lot of folks. And I do think that not doing so has an unspoken effect on a relationship over time.

violator said:

TotalANXiousNESS said:

So basically I must resign to the fact that I will only ever be considered hot again by total strangers and not my husband. Awesome.

I know I look at women I date as hot well beyond the point that we first started seeing each other. Although I do also firmly believe in the idea of still keeping up appearances in a relationship, which seems to be something lost on a lot of folks. And I do think that not doing so has an unspoken effect on a relationship over time.

JustErin said:

violator said:

I know I look at women I date as hot well beyond the point that we first started seeing each other. Although I do also firmly believe in the idea of still keeping up appearances in a relationship, which seems to be something lost on a lot of folks. And I do think that not doing so has an unspoken effect on a relationship over time.

How is it when he posts, you always post right after him within minutes...

JustErin said:

violator said:

I know I look at women I date as hot well beyond the point that we first started seeing each other. Although I do also firmly believe in the idea of still keeping up appearances in a relationship, which seems to be something lost on a lot of folks. And I do think that not doing so has an unspoken effect on a relationship over time.

Something tells me this has nothing to do with what I just posted...

violator said:

JustErin said:

Something tells me this has nothing to do with what I just posted...

Next!!

tinaz said:

JustErin said:

How is it when he posts, you always post right after him within minutes...

Magic.

NDRU said:

violator said:

Something tells me this has nothing to do with what I just posted...

Next!!

JustErin said:

NDRU said:

Next!!

I just wanted to quote him first

Actually I agree with what he said. I don't know why you are -ing his comment

DAMN, this is a ruff crowd

Doesn't that go both ways? A man can get boring to a woman after the "honeymoon" phase.

ufoclub said:

Doesn't that go both ways? A man can get boring to a woman after the "honeymoon" phase.

that is for goddamn sure!!