NDRU said:

JustErin said:

I just wanted to quote him first

Actually I agree with what he said. I don't know why you are -ing his comment

And now he's really in trouble.

role play. dress up and wear masks so you can fantasize about other people

KingBAD said:

TotalANXiousNESS said:

I know this is a conversation I should be having with my husband but we've kinda talked about it before and it just makes things even weirder or he just kinda blows it off.

Anyway, my question is do men tire of looking at the same woman all the time? I know my husband thinks I'm pretty, but I don't think he thinks I'm as sexy as he did when we first met....even though he says he thinks I look the same as I used to. We have a good sex life its not that. But I don't feel he desires me like he used to.

Plus he makes comments about my clothes and stuff, like he like it best when I wear longer shorts (like to my knee) with sneakers....?? He said that I look more like a 33 year old mom of three that way. So he basically wants me to dress like a soccer mom. Which I do at times, but other times I don't. Plus the women that he looks at on tv and online are NOT dressed like soccer moms.

So I googled it, because I just don't get it, and I came up with a couple of possibilities. Either he has the 'Virgin Mary Syndrome' like now he just basically see's me as the mother of his child....NOT a sex object. Or he is bored of seeing the same thing day in and day out. So what is it??

Like I said, I know he thinks I'm pretty and it's not like he doesn't want sex, he does...it's just not like, OMG your so hot I want you now sex...yanno?

[Edited 4/2/12 10:53am]

it's hard to do some things with/to the mother of your kids

FOR GOD'S SAKE, IT'S THE MOTHER OF HIS KIDS,

SHE KISSES THEM TO SLEEP WITH THAT MOUTH

and so forth...

SO,

even though it may not be a consciuous act,

somewhere in the dark part of the mind is the

memmory of mother commin in and layin that

goodnight kiss on them and the smell of applepie

or daddy's nuts on her breath.

the commitment to a marriage says that no matter the

changes she may go through, one is willin to love her

all the same UNLESS as soon as you say I DO you're never seen

without food in your mouth. (yes that's grounds for divorce)

my dick is still bigger

XxAxX said:

role play. dress up and wear masks so you can fantasize about other people

Totally agree. the longer youre in a relationship the more you gotta adapt, try new things, be more playful. While I think it's true that men do suffer from the shiny new object syndrome, lust within the relationship doesn't have to decrease, as long as both parties communicate openly about the sex that they have and the sex that they'd LIKE to have.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

do men tire of looking at the same woman all the time?

"Tire"? Become less worked up about shakin' her down?

OK, first, I don't mean to be an asshole or anything, but does this guy now have a job?

If not, you need to shake that man and tell him he's got other things he needs to be

worried about than your damned outfits!

Second, how dare he try and tell you what you should and shouldn't wear.

If he had made critical comments on your first date, would you have gone on a second?

GuRRRLLL, go rent Joy Luck Club and home train that man.

imago said:

OK, first, I don't mean to be an asshole or anything, but does this guy now have a job?

If not, you need to shake that man and tell him he's got other things he needs to be

worried about than your damned outfits!

Second, how dare he try and tell you what you should and shouldn't wear.

If he had made critical comments on your first date, would you have gone on a second?

GuRRRLLL, go rent Joy Luck Club and home train that man.

He does have a job yes. He doesn't say it in a mean way. Just the other day I had on longer shorts a pair of seakers and a hoodie, and he was like I like when you dress like that instead of wearing shorter shorts. And right away I got offended and was like WHY??? Whats wrong with short shorts??? Are my legs ugly?? And he said no your legs look like they always have. And I said okay why the comments then? And he said cuz that outfit makes you look like a 33 year old mom of 3. ........as if that's a GOOD thing.

LadyCasanova said:

This is so interesting because a few weeks ago my girlfriend said "I feel like you don't desire me like you used to."

First she said it once and never brought it up again. Now she is saying it pretty often and asking me questions like "how have the ways you view me shifted over time? Do you still find me desirable?" ect. She is also starting to accuse me of checking out strangers, who I'm not even looking at.

I don't get it. I don't feel like I desire her any less. I don't treat her any different (that I know of), and we still fuck like rabbits. I check HER out all the time, tell her how hot she is ect

What makes you feel like you're desired less? I don't understand this...

I can't speak for your girl obviously, but Ace nailed it when he said 'less worked up about shakin' her down'.

CarrieMpls said:

My bf was pretty honest with me about being scared of promising to only have sex with one woman for the rest of his life. But then he was sweet enough (and smart enough) to say if it’s only gonna be one, I make an awesome choice. (Of course, neither of us has made that promise yet.)

I’m only 2 years into it, though, so what do I know? While he’s now seen me at my worst, I still make sure to make an effort regularly. Sure, I allow myself to be more comfortable when we’re just hanging out at home, but I make sure to dress up now and again, especially if we’re going out.

I expect over time we’ll both have patches where we get bored of each other, sex-wise or otherwise. I think that’s just when the other person has to make up for it for a bit.

Sounds like you have yourself an honest boy Carrie. Though at times I'm sure some stuff is hard to hear, it's still the best. Good for you!

its not that he doesnt think u r hot ~ he knows u r hot!!! its just that he already told u and now he needs to let other women know ~ so dont stress, thats how men roll!!!

my question about men is how come they can go to the moon, build bridges, operate heavy machinery ~ but try as much as poss, they cant undo bras thats the real weird thing about men!!!

and

other questions about men involve toilet seats, ping pong balls in toilets and flushing toilets ~ trust me these things will always b unresolved questions about men

[Edited 4/3/12 3:56am]

ufoclub said:

Doesn't that go both ways? A man can get boring to a woman after the "honeymoon" phase.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

imago said:

OK, first, I don't mean to be an asshole or anything, but does this guy now have a job?

If not, you need to shake that man and tell him he's got other things he needs to be

worried about than your damned outfits!

Second, how dare he try and tell you what you should and shouldn't wear.

If he had made critical comments on your first date, would you have gone on a second?

GuRRRLLL, go rent Joy Luck Club and home train that man.

He does have a job yes. He doesn't say it in a mean way. Just the other day I had on longer shorts a pair of seakers and a hoodie, and he was like I like when you dress like that instead of wearing shorter shorts. And right away I got offended and was like WHY??? Whats wrong with short shorts??? Are my legs ugly?? And he said no your legs look like they always have. And I said okay why the comments then? And he said cuz that outfit makes you look like a 33 year old mom of 3. ........as if that's a GOOD thing.

I don't often agree with Imago (insert doseki's commercial) but I do here!

I def think that many times our image changes in a man's head after we have their child. That comment about what he likes you better in....(imo) was very carefully worded on his part, not to sound mean BUT says alot. To me it says, as the mother of my child it's inappropriate for you to dress younger than you are. Perhaps it even embarrasses him. It would have really pissed me off.

funny when men think of women as sex objects were pervs pigs or dickheads etc yet when the light switch seems off it erks .. we cant fucking win .. You 2 care about each other thats whats always been there n thats whats the most important thing, live your life talk to each other seriously if hes got issues he should man up n talk about it n you should talk to him about yours. Nothing better than a deep convo air out all things see what n where it leads.Time to stop the guess worry games.

always thought it interesting in the earlier days when a chick fuck'd me say'd the words of endearment n the next day your acid under her eyelids, get enuf of that maybe it leaves an impression .. Its all water under the bridge but now we're in a diff mode with our children and marriages. You need to talk things out now ..

Shorty said:

TotalANXiousNESS said:

He does have a job yes. He doesn't say it in a mean way. Just the other day I had on longer shorts a pair of seakers and a hoodie, and he was like I like when you dress like that instead of wearing shorter shorts. And right away I got offended and was like WHY??? Whats wrong with short shorts??? Are my legs ugly?? And he said no your legs look like they always have. And I said okay why the comments then? And he said cuz that outfit makes you look like a 33 year old mom of 3. ........as if that's a GOOD thing.

I don't often agree with Imago (insert doseki's commercial) but I do here!

I def think that many times our image changes in a man's head after we have their child. That comment about what he likes you better in....(imo) was very carefully worded on his part, not to sound mean BUT says alot. To me it says, as the mother of my child it's inappropriate for you to dress younger than you are. Perhaps it even embarrasses him. It would have really pissed me off.

I wasn't crazy about it, myself. The thing that's gets under my skin is the double standard. Like, I know he likes more conservative dress. He always has. But I wasn't dressed conservatively when I met him, and he liked it THAT night, because I wasn't his girl yet. I know there are plenty of men who like their wives to dress conservatively and yet they ogle the women who aren't. I don't GET IT.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

Shorty said:

I don't often agree with Imago (insert doseki's commercial) but I do here!

I def think that many times our image changes in a man's head after we have their child. That comment about what he likes you better in....(imo) was very carefully worded on his part, not to sound mean BUT says alot. To me it says, as the mother of my child it's inappropriate for you to dress younger than you are. Perhaps it even embarrasses him. It would have really pissed me off.

I wasn't crazy about it, myself. The thing that's gets under my skin is the double standard. Like, I know he likes more conservative dress. He always has. But I wasn't dressed conservatively when I met him, and he liked it THAT night, because I wasn't his girl yet. I know there are plenty of men who like their wives to dress conservatively and yet they ogle the women who aren't. I don't GET IT.

Because they know how men think, they don't want their friends undressing you with their eyes. They only want to undress other women with THEIR eyes.

But you know what? That is his problem. He fell for you in short shorts, he should not expect you to change (unless MAYBE you looked terrible in them now, but I doubt that's the case)

loves my kids cause i know i can
secure in my manhood cuz IM a real man
A lover joker and a fighter knocks those whos a knucker out
notta sucker cuz that's not what im about
Every time she need me i always got her back

never disrespectful u know who taught me that

Men tire of women but not for their looks so much as the energy you bring. Think about it. You can always change your looks; new hairstyle, new outfit, different makeup etc. but if you have the same ole attitude and routines and he is bored with it then he will look elsewhere. Mind you I said "look". I'm not saying he will cheat on you.

So just buy a new outfit and change your hair and act a lil crazy for about 5 minutes. His interest will be renewed. Although he might be a little scared.

LOOK...the next time he says something stupid about what you're wearing (and being men, we tend to say lots of stupid things)...just flash a boob. The brain will reset itself and you can remind him that he'd just agreed to take you shopping. If he doesn't believe you, flash the other boob, and he'll be waiting out in the car with your purse on his lap in seconds.

maybe hes tryn to say hes afriad of something like he n u are getng older etc n just cant cry or get emotional and he says n does stupid things instead ..