http://www.thesmokinggun....-days-jail

This is funny as hell!

Bobby Womack says, "Woman Gotta Have It."

Calamity Jane of 2011!

"He became overwhelmed by a horrible vaginal odor"......

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Calamity Jane of 2011!

looool I remember posting this news earlier this year. This line killed me:

“Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat,”

That is some next level thirst

How in the hell you trying to cut somebody because they don't want to lick your rancid ass cooch.

One day, Little Red Riding Hood decided to visit her grandma. She packed a picnic basket full of goodies for Grandma and, because she had to travel through the woods where the Big Bad Wolf lived, she slipped a .357 Magnum into the pocket of her dress, under her cape.

Before she left the house, she told her mother she was going to visit her grandmother. Little Red Riding Hood's mother said, "Little Red Riding Hood, when will you learn? You know you're just going to run into the Big Bad Wolf, who will lift up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties, and fuck your little red socks off."

But Little Red Riding Hood just smiled, pulled out the .357 Magnum and said, "No, Mother - I don't think so."

And her mother said, "Well, alrighty then!" And Little Red Riding Hood left the house.

Outside, she saw her father and told him she was off to Grandma's house. Her father said, "Little Red Riding Hood, when will you learn? You know you're just going to run into the Big Bad Wolf, who will lift up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties, and fuck your little red socks off."

But Little Red Riding Hood just smiled, pulled out the .357 Magnum and said, "No, Daddy dear - I don't think so."

And her father said, "Well, I guess you can take care of yourself." And Little Red Riding Hood skipped off into the forest.

Pretty soon, the Big Bad Wolf bounded out from behind a tree and said, "Well, well! Little Red Riding Hood! When will you learn? You know I'm going to lift up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties, and fuck your little red socks off."

Whereupon Little Red Riding Hood pulled out the .357 Magnum, leveled it at the Wolf, smiled and said, "Oh, no, you're not. You're going to eat me, just like the story says."

After seeing what she looks like, I now understand why she'd have to do that..

vainandy said:

http://www.thesmokinggun....-days-jail

This is funny as hell!

Taken from THAT^ source:

Williams was arrested last month following a bizarre incident at the 77 Motor Inn, where she was living at the time. According to an October 22 Jackson County Sheriff’s Department report--excerpted here--Williams waved a knife at two men who declined her demands to engage in sexual conduct (one of the men was Danny Williams, her estranged husband).

Deputies reported that Williams, who was living four doors down from Danny Williams, showed up at his residence and asked him and another man to “eat my pussy.” While Danny Williams “declined said invitation,” the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he “agreed to perform at her request,” according to Deputy Ross Mellinger.

However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” As a result, Watson “declined to proceed any further.”

At this point, Melissa Williams “produced a lock-back folding knife,” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then uttered a line that has since ricocheted across the Internet: “Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat.”

Genesia said:

One day, Little Red Riding Hood decided to visit her grandma. She packed a picnic basket full of goodies for Grandma and, because she had to travel through the woods where the Big Bad Wolf lived, she slipped a .357 Magnum into the pocket of her dress, under her cape.

Before she left the house, she told her mother she was going to visit her grandmother. Little Red Riding Hood's mother said, "Little Red Riding Hood, when will you learn? You know you're just going to run into the Big Bad Wolf, who will lift up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties, and fuck your little red socks off."

But Little Red Riding Hood just smiled, pulled out the .357 Magnum and said, "No, Mother - I don't think so."

And her mother said, "Well, alrighty then!" And Little Red Riding Hood left the house.

Outside, she saw her father and told him she was off to Grandma's house. Her father said, "Little Red Riding Hood, when will you learn? You know you're just going to run into the Big Bad Wolf, who will lift up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties, and fuck your little red socks off."

But Little Red Riding Hood just smiled, pulled out the .357 Magnum and said, "No, Daddy dear - I don't think so."

And her father said, "Well, I guess you can take care of yourself." And Little Red Riding Hood skipped off into the forest.

Pretty soon, the Big Bad Wolf bounded out from behind a tree and said, "Well, well! Little Red Riding Hood! When will you learn? You know I'm going to lift up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties, and fuck your little red socks off."

Whereupon Little Red Riding Hood pulled out the .357 Magnum, leveled it at the Wolf, smiled and said, "Oh, no, you're not. You're going to eat me, just like the story says."

TonyVanDam said:

vainandy said:

http://www.thesmokinggun....-days-jail

This is funny as hell!

Taken from THAT^ source:

Williams was arrested last month following a bizarre incident at the 77 Motor Inn, where she was living at the time. According to an October 22 Jackson County Sheriff’s Department report--excerpted here--Williams waved a knife at two men who declined her demands to engage in sexual conduct (one of the men was Danny Williams, her estranged husband).

Deputies reported that Williams, who was living four doors down from Danny Williams, showed up at his residence and asked him and another man to “eat my pussy.” While Danny Williams “declined said invitation,” the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he “agreed to perform at her request,” according to Deputy Ross Mellinger.

However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” As a result, Watson “declined to proceed any further.”

At this point, Melissa Williams “produced a lock-back folding knife,” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then uttered a line that has since ricocheted across the Internet: “Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat.”

Mr. Watson has since converted to homosexuality. He said "If this is pussy, dick has got to be better".

Now I know where that saying "never bring a knife to a gun fight" comes from. Where's the cheese emoticon?

vainandy said:

TonyVanDam said:

Taken from THAT^ source:

Williams was arrested last month following a bizarre incident at the 77 Motor Inn, where she was living at the time. According to an October 22 Jackson County Sheriff’s Department report--excerpted here--Williams waved a knife at two men who declined her demands to engage in sexual conduct (one of the men was Danny Williams, her estranged husband).

Deputies reported that Williams, who was living four doors down from Danny Williams, showed up at his residence and asked him and another man to “eat my pussy.” While Danny Williams “declined said invitation,” the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he “agreed to perform at her request,” according to Deputy Ross Mellinger.

However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” As a result, Watson “declined to proceed any further.”

At this point, Melissa Williams “produced a lock-back folding knife,” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then uttered a line that has since ricocheted across the Internet: “Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat.”

Mr. Watson has since converted to homosexuality. He said "If this is pussy, dick has got to be better".

And you know this for a fact because Mr. Watson will be at your house this week right? (Don't answer THAT! )

Seriously, Melissa should have known better that no man with any self-respect wants to go down on a woman that doesn't douche.

TonyVanDam said:

vainandy said:

Mr. Watson has since converted to homosexuality. He said "If this is pussy, dick has got to be better".

And you know this for a fact because Mr. Watson will be at your house this week right? (Don't answer THAT! )

Seriously, Melissa should have known better that no man with any self-respect wants to go down on a woman that doesn't douche.

I still can't believe he considered eating her pussy an option until he got a whiff of it.

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

TonyVanDam said:

And you know this for a fact because Mr. Watson will be at your house this week right? (Don't answer THAT! )

Seriously, Melissa should have known better that no man with any self-respect wants to go down on a woman that doesn't douche.

I still can't believe he considered eating her pussy an option until he got a whiff of it.

With some rednecks, looks are not a factor.

Genesia said:

One day, Little Red Riding Hood decided to visit her grandma. She packed a picnic basket full of goodies for Grandma and, because she had to travel through the woods where the Big Bad Wolf lived, she slipped a .357 Magnum into the pocket of her dress, under her cape.

Before she left the house, she told her mother she was going to visit her grandmother. Little Red Riding Hood's mother said, "Little Red Riding Hood, when will you learn? You know you're just going to run into the Big Bad Wolf, who will lift up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties, and fuck your little red socks off."

But Little Red Riding Hood just smiled, pulled out the .357 Magnum and said, "No, Mother - I don't think so."

And her mother said, "Well, alrighty then!" And Little Red Riding Hood left the house.

Outside, she saw her father and told him she was off to Grandma's house. Her father said, "Little Red Riding Hood, when will you learn? You know you're just going to run into the Big Bad Wolf, who will lift up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties, and fuck your little red socks off."

But Little Red Riding Hood just smiled, pulled out the .357 Magnum and said, "No, Daddy dear - I don't think so."

And her father said, "Well, I guess you can take care of yourself." And Little Red Riding Hood skipped off into the forest.

Pretty soon, the Big Bad Wolf bounded out from behind a tree and said, "Well, well! Little Red Riding Hood! When will you learn? You know I'm going to lift up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties, and fuck your little red socks off."

Whereupon Little Red Riding Hood pulled out the .357 Magnum, leveled it at the Wolf, smiled and said, "Oh, no, you're not. You're going to eat me, just like the story says."

TonyVanDam said:

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

I still can't believe he considered eating her pussy an option until he got a whiff of it.

With some rednecks, looks are not a factor.

You ain't lying. Some of them even brag that it tastes like chicken and smells like fish. If something smells like fish, I'm not even going to get close enough to know what it tastes like.

Did anyone see the episode of "Mama's Family" where a girl that knew Bubba escaped from Juvenille Hall and showed up at Thelma Harper's house to hide out? That's who this woman looks like.

vainandy said:

"He became overwhelmed by a horrible vaginal odor"......

he was gonna do it...

Number23 said:

Shame, I liked her drumming. Hope Jack bails her out.

It's like Strangers With Candy is finally actually happening.

HotGritz said:

Now I know where that saying "never bring a knife to a gun fight" comes from. Where's the cheese emoticon?

You mean the rotten fish emoticon, don't you? The only one they got is this: But there are no wavy lines coming from it with X's in place of its eyes.

alexnvrmnd777 said:

HotGritz said:

Now I know where that saying "never bring a knife to a gun fight" comes from. Where's the cheese emoticon?

You mean the rotten fish emoticon, don't you? The only one they got is this: But there are no wavy lines coming from it with X's in place of its eyes.

I actually feel sympathetic towards her, she must of needed it pretty damn bad. Poor thing!

alexnvrmnd777 said:

HotGritz said:

Now I know where that saying "never bring a knife to a gun fight" comes from. Where's the cheese emoticon?

You mean the rotten fish emoticon, don't you? The only one they got is this: But there are no wavy lines coming from it with X's in place of its eyes.

I bet the alley cats would love her. Those sandy tongues of theirs would drive her wild.

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[Edited 11/17/11 22:27pm]

alexnvrmnd777 said:

HotGritz said:

Now I know where that saying "never bring a knife to a gun fight" comes from. Where's the cheese emoticon?

You mean the rotten fish emoticon, don't you? The only one they got is this: But there are no wavy lines coming from it with X's in place of its eyes.

I've smelled rotten fish before and I have a feeling this heffa's cooch smelled like cheese, egg, 3-day old cabbage and onion wrapped in a soiled baby diaper. We're gonna need more than a fish emoticon.

My cousin told me one time that when she got a DUI she was arrested and placed in this holding or waiting cell or something with a bunch of other women and one toilet. Anyway, she said some hooker got brought into the room and she went straight over to the toilet and started squatting and grunting and then the room filled with this god awful smell and my cousin heard a clank which the chick later told everyone was keys. Yeah, the hooker had some kind of sex infection and skeeted out keys but I don't remember the rest of the story. I think my brain just got stuck on the fact that her cooter stank up an entire jail cell and out fell some car keys. WWWWOOOOOWWWW!!!!